In Your Dreams
by lizfanfiction
Summary: When House is admitted to Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital, he is forced to deal with his own demons. His absence from the hospital, however, also forces the rest of the PPTH staff to face that which they wish to deny.
1. Prologue

Title: In Your Dreams

Author: Insomniac159 (Liz)

Genre: Medical Drama/Comedy/Tragedy

Summary: When House is admitted to Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital, he is forced to deal with his own demons. His absence from the hospital, however, also forces the rest of the PPTH staff to face that which they wish to deny.

Pairings: House/Cameron, Wilson/Cuddy, House/Wilson/Cuddy, Cameron/Chase, House/Cuddy, Chase/OC, OC/OC

Rating: M/MA for adult themes and language

Author's Note: The story starts briefly after the Season Five finale "Both Sides Now." It follows the basic plot line of the show. Relationships are an important part of the plot, but are not "fluffy." In other words, the relationships are more "Houseian" and complicated. The plot follows other events unrelated to relationships as well. Also, you may have noticed that it's a comedy, drama, and a tragedy. I honestly love medical mysteries, so expect those! I also love comic writing, but I'm a sucker for a tragic ending. So just be prepared for some serious ups and downs.

Disclaimer: I do not own _House, MD_ or any of its characters.

In Your Dreams – By Liz

Prologue

You know that dream where you are falling? There is absolutely nothing to hold on to, and even if there is, it is impossible to grab. According to Freud, falling dreams suggest the desire to give into a sexual pleasure or impulse. But then again, Freud thought that everything suggests the desire to give into a sexual pleasure or impulse. It would certainly explain his infatuation with his mother.

Carl Jung studied under Sigmund Freud, but he had different ideas about dreams, and who's to blame him? Jung suspected that dreams are a window to the subconscious, uncovering the innermost secrets of the dreamer—revealing those aspects of a person that he or she refuses to acknowledge. He thought that the falling dream exposes the insecurity, instability, and anxiety of the dreamer.

Experience suggests that both men were correct—at least in this case. Maybe they were both geniuses, or maybe it is just a coincidence. Or maybe it's because the desire to succumb to sexual pleasures or impulses can _cause_ insecurity and instability.

What could cause more insecurity than the realization that you are in love with a man who is not your husband? What could cause more instability than the battle between true love and a healthy relationship? What could cause more anxiety than the certainty of impending doom?

In _The Dream Game_, Paracelsus said that "That which the dream shows is the shadow of such wisdom as exists in man, even if during his waking state he may know nothing about it.... We do not know it because we are fooling away our time with outward and perishing things, and are asleep in regard to that which is real within ourself."

No matter what we do, there is no ignoring our inner desires: even if we try, they will catch up to us in our sleep. But then what's the point of hiding if we are just "fooling away our time with outward and perishing things?"

Then again, maybe dreams don't reveal our innermost desires at all. Maybe they just allow insanity to break free from the shackles of consciousness—unleashing the madness of a dreamer and exposing the world as its true chaotic self….


	2. PART I, Chapter 1

**PART I**

Chapter 1

Ian Greer sat down in front of the desk. It was a very large desk in a very large office. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen such a nice office. In all fairness, he couldn't remember what his old office even looked like, but he knew for sure that it wasn't nearly as fancy as this one. This place had style. Ian only dreamed that he would one day work in an office like this. After all, that's what he was here for: to get a job.

Nonetheless, he wasn't too confident about the interview. He hadn't slept well in days, and he could barely concentrate. He hadn't even been dreaming; he just laid there in the darkness, wondering all the while if he'd ever fallen asleep or if he'd simply been awake for the last few hours. But what help would worrying do? Either he would get the job or he wouldn't. All he could do was try his best.

"So, Mr. Green," started the man behind the desk who was, like his desk and office, very large.

"Greer," corrected Ian.

"I'm sorry?"

"Greer. It's, um, Ian Greer."

"Right, well, of course it is," commented the large man. He was already annoyed. "Mr. Green, why do you think you would be a good fit for this job?"

For some reason, Ian hadn't been prepared for that question. What could he say? To tell the truth, he wasn't a good fit for the job. He just needed the cash.

His interviewer was becoming impatient, though. "Why should I hire you over all of the other applicants applying for this job?"

Ian opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He hadn't been nervous at all for this interview, yet he felt himself becoming increasingly anxious. "Umm…."

"Mr. Green, can you please answer the question?"

Ian's hand started to shake. He'd never been so nervous in his life. He felt the sweat beading down his neck and forehead. He loosened his collar, but that didn't seem to help at all. "Is it hot in here?"

"Mr. Green—"

"Because it feels really hot in here."

"Mr. Green, if you're not going to answer the question, then I think—"

"The blinds," interrupted Ian. He was quickly losing his breath.

"What?"

"The blinds," panted Ian. "Could you close the blinds? It's really bright… really… hot." He leaned forward in his seat, trying to catch his breath, and suddenly one very large desk became two very large desks. He was seeing double.

"Mr. Green, are you—"

"Greer!" shouted Ian, suddenly irritated with the man. "It's Ian _Greer_!" At that moment, Ian nearly fell into the very large desk. He was so weak that he could barely move. He was gasping for every breath. Something was wrong.

"Mr. Greer, are you okay?" asked the interviewer.

Ian could barely gather the strength to shake his head in the negative.

The large man behind the desk pulled out his surprisingly small cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. "I need an ambulance!"


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It was a depressingly dreary day outside. Clouds covered every inch of the grey sky above to such an extent that the rising sun could actually be seen as a fiercely red sphere behind a curtain of fog. In fact, the velvety sun was nearly the only color that could be seen. Everything else seemed to be draped in black and white and grey.

House stepped to the edge of the rooftop. All of Princeton was at his feet. It was a magnificent town, but today it seemed dark—dead, even. He hadn't even taken a step from the roof, and yet before he knew it, he was flying. No, he was falling.

House gasped for air. He stretched his hands out every which way, grasping for anything that he could grab, but there was nothing. He was all alone falling from a rooftop. There was no one to help him, nothing to save him. He was completely and utterly helpless. He would give anything to be on solid ground once again, but he knew deep down that only when he crashed would he finally touch the ground. The building that he was falling from hadn't been very tall at all, and yet he was still falling. It seemed like he would never hit the ground, but when the grey grass beneath him finally became clear, he let out a scream and felt the pain of the collision.

House's eyes shot open as a searing pain jolted through his leg. He had fallen out of his bed and onto the white tiled floor of his room in Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital. He grabbed his nightstand and gently pulled himself to his feet, letting out a small grunt of pain. He wearily looked around the room. He was alone—well, sort of.

"Good morning, Sunshine," greeted Amber. "You sleep well?"

"You tell me," replied House.

"Still having nightmares?"

"Why are you asking me? You already know the answer."

"I'm just trying to help."

"By telling me what I already know?" snapped House. "Thanks, you've been a great help. You can go away now."

"You don't want me to go away."

"If I didn't, I wouldn't have told you to leave." House thought for a moment. "Hell, I wouldn't even be here."

"You're afraid."

"You're imaginary."

"You're deflecting."

House sighed dramatically. There was no winning with her—with him, that is. "What do you want?"

"What do you want?" mimicked Amber.

"I want you to go away!" shouted House. He was immediately embarrassed, though, because he realized that he'd been talking to the wall. At least, that's what the observers outside his room must think. "Just… go away," he whispered.

"I don't think so," said Amber almost regretfully.

"Seeing as you're a creation of my mind, you'd think that I'd have the power to will you away." House closed his eyes and pretended to attack her with his mind.

"Give me your best," she shot. "I'm not going anywhere until you figure this out."

"Figure what out, exactly?"

"Figure what out?!" Amber was shocked to say the least. "Figure out why I'm here! Figure out why you're delusional! Figure out why you've lost your mind!"

"I haven't lost my mind," sad House quietly. There was a hint of fear in his voice. "I just can't find it at the moment."

There was a knock at the door and Amber disappeared. "Dr. House?" asked a voice. "…Greg?"

House stared at the wall, making sure that Amber was truly gone. Still, he had a feeling that she'd be back soon enough. A moment later, House turned his head and looked at the door where a woman stood. She was tall and of medium build. Her wavy blonde hair rested on her shoulders, and her brown eyes glistened in the sterile, white room. He had seen her on several occasions in the hospital, and yet they had never actually met. In fact, she was present when he first entered the hospital two weeks ago. "What do you want?" he finally asked.

"I heard that your detox was going well," she responded politely in her charming Southern accent.

House stared at her, waiting for a real answer.

Seeing House's stare, she entered the room and closed the door behind her. She held out her hand, but House never took it. "I'm Dr. Hart," she introduced herself. "You can call me Ruby."

House had figured that she was a psychiatrist. "You're my shrink."

She smiled. "I heard you talking in here. Were you talking to yourself?" She worked in a psychiatric hospital. She was completely accustomed to people talking to themselves, the walls, their Jello, everything really. Still, she tried not to convey this sense of indifference until she truly knew a patient well.

"I suppose you could say that," replied House. Technically, Amber was a part of him.

Ruby understood. "You're still hallucinating I take it." House's silence answered her question. "Well, maybe I can help."

House didn't want to talk to the woman. Honestly, he didn't want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to return to his apartment in Princeton and to his job at the teaching hospital. He wanted everything to go back to normal. But then what was he doing there? This had been his choice, and he wanted Amber to go away. If he could expel her on his own, he wouldn't even be in this hospital. So, for lack of a better option, House grabbed his cane and followed Ruby to her office. This was going to be an excruciatingly long recovery.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was early in the morning, and yet the entire Diagnostics team—that is, everybody besides House—was already present and waiting for a new case. They weren't very surprised that House was late. House was always late. However, they were rather curious to see why Dr. Chase was sitting behind House's desk. He seemed to be working through something on the computer, what he was working through, only he knew. Up until then, none of them felt the need or the want to question him about his presence in House's office. They simply stared through the glass wall, observing Chase's every move. He didn't even seem to notice the staring.

"What do you think he's doing?" asked Hadley.

"I… don't really care what he's doing," replied Foreman with honest indifference. "As long as we don't have anything to do, I say we go and check out the ER and the Clinic for cases."

"Doesn't he have surgery?" asked Taub, clearly ignoring Foreman's suggestion. He didn't really want to work the ER that morning, and he definitely didn't want to start his Clinic duty.

"This is ridiculous," concluded Hadley. "Why don't we just go and ask him what he's doing here. Maybe he has a case for us."

"If he had a case for us," said Foreman, "he'd have brought it to us."

Hadley seemed to consider this briefly before finally deciding that it was probably true.

"Maybe House is taking the day off, and he's just substituting for him," suggested Taub who had no other idea as to why Chase would be here.

These speculations were annoying Foreman. "If House took a day off, he wouldn't need a sub. He might need one if he was taking an extended absence, but then he would have also told us that he'd be gone for a while."

"You're just jealous that Cuddy didn't choose you to be House's sub," joked Taub.

"There's no way he's subbing for House," claimed Foreman.

Chase finally arose from House's desk and made his way to the main office with a file in hand. He dropped it on the desk but suddenly realized that Foreman, Taub, and Hadley were all starting at him expectantly. "What's up?"

"How was your honeymoon?" asked Hadley, trying to ease any notion in Chase's mind that they had been talking about him before he entered.

Chase was taken aback by the question. Why did they care how his honeymoon was? "Um, it was fine," he said nonchalantly.

"You went to London, right?" continued Hadley. "Cameron told me."

Chase nodded. "Well, if Cameron told you, then you don't really need to hear it from me, now do you?" He knew Hadley wasn't really interested in his honeymoon. She was just trying to distract him from whatever she really wanted to know.

Hadley blushed; she'd been found out. Number one rule to lying, though, is to always commit. She'd learned that from House. "I love London. What all did you do?"

Chase eyed her carefully, trying to decipher her real interests. "We… saw the usual sights, did the typical tourist stuff, you know. I did introduce her to my step-brother Adam, though."

"Oh, you're British?" played Hadley. "I swore you were Australian. Here I was thinking House had been joking all these years."

"No," replied Chase. He was becoming very annoyed. "My brother works for a pharmaceutical company over there." He looked at the three fellows carefully. "What were you guys talking about before I came in here?" Based on their demeanors, he could conclude that they were talking about him. Honestly, he didn't care. He just wanted to know why they didn't want him to know.

Taub ignored the question, though, and picked up the file that Chase had dropped on the table. "Is this a case?"

"Yeah," said Chase. "Forty-two year old male goes in for a job interview and comes out in an ambulance. He was experiencing hand tremors, muscle weakness, shortness of breath, and double vision."

"Great," replied Foreman. "It's a panic attack. Job interview makes a guy nervous, and then he panics. Where's the big mystery?"

"You didn't let me finish," said Chase. "He was taken to the ER where the doctors diagnosed him with a panic attack. They gave him tranquilizers, but he went tachycardic. He's stable now."

"Where's House?" Hadley diverted.

Chase gave them all a curious look. They didn't know where House was? Really? Neither Wilson nor Cuddy had told them? They must be trying to keep it a secret. In that case, who was he to tell them? "He's going to be gone for a little while. I'll be taking his place until he comes back."

Taub gave Foreman an I-told-you-so glare before asking again where House was.

"Not here," is all Chase would answer. "Thirteen, you get a history. Foreman, you do a CBC. Taub, you do a tox-screen."

The three were confused. "We're not going to do a differential diagnosis first?" asked Hadley.

"Just cover the basics first, and then we'll do a differential," replied Chase. "I need to go talk to Cuddy." He wanted to find out why she and Wilson hadn't informed the team of House's admission to Mayfield.

The three immediately sensed that something was going on, but they also knew they weren't going to get any answers right then. So, they left Chase to his business.

Once they'd left the office, though, Taub turned to Foreman and smirked. "I told you so."

Foreman tried to ignore Taub's comment, but deep down, he couldn't figure out why Cuddy would place Chase in charge instead of him. It didn't make any sense.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

House sat on his bed staring at the wall on the other side of the room. He had recently discovered that psychiatric therapy was incredibly boring, and he would, ironically, give anything just to see Amber once more. Of course, being his subconscious, Amber knew this and quickly reappeared with an uninvited guest.

"What are you doing here?" House sneered.

Kutner looked at House in an innocent, almost melancholy, way that would simply break anyone's heart. Unfortunately, House was the only one who could see him, and his heart was not broken by the visual. "What am I doing here?" Kutner asked sadly.

"What is it with you guys and mimicking me lately?" questioned House. He was still eyeing Kutner, trying to figure out why he looked so depressed.

"You don't know why we're here," said Amber, "so neither do we."

House rolled his eyes. This was going to get very annoying very quickly. "I didn't want you here just so you could echo me."

"Then why did you want us here?" asked Amber.

"I didn't want _him_ here," claimed House as he motioned his head toward Kutner.

"Yes you did," replied Kutner dryly. "Why would I be here otherwise?"

"That's faulty logic," said House. "I didn't want to start hallucinating weeks ago, and yet here you both are."

"That is true," said Amber, "but you did choose _me_ of all the people you could hallucinate."

"You did choose _me_," interjected Kutner. They were trying to tell him something.

Amber looked at Kutner carefully before returning her attention to House. "If you aren't sure why you are seeing _us_, then maybe that's where you should begin."

House looked at them both, deep in thought. Were they suggesting that he solve this on his own? It certainly sounded like him, but he wouldn't need to be in a hospital if he could solve this on his own. "If I figure out why you're here, you'll go away?" he asked.

Amber smiled. "Sorry, but no."

Then what was the point?

Seeing House's confusion, Amber continued. "If you figure out why we're here, then maybe your psychiatrist—"

House rolled his eyes and huffed in annoyance.

Amber seemed to realize that House wanted desperately not to need the help of a psychiatrist—of someone whose profession he had mocked for so many years. "Then maybe your psychiatrist or _you_ can figure out how to fix the real problem."

House studied the two figures before him, desperate to solve the puzzle that was his own mind. So, he was supposed to decipher why it was that he was seeing Amber and Kutner of all other people. He lost his train of thought as he glanced at Kutner. His depressing demeanor was a total buzz kill. Why couldn't he be fun like Amber? But then it hit him: it was a clue. "Why are you so upset?" House asked Kutner in the hopes that subconsciously he knew the answer.

"I'm not upset," claimed Kutner. "You think I'm upset."

What was that supposed to mean? How could House mistake a perception that he created? Maybe Kutner wasn't talking about himself as a hallucination but rather himself as a person. "You were upset," concluded House. "You committed suicide. Happy people don't commit suicide."

Kutner's only response was a smile.

"But if you weren't upset, then the only conclusion is that you didn't commit suicide." House thought about it for a moment. "No, you weren't murdered. We'd already decided that."

"Then why did I commit suicide?" asked Kutner.

"I don't know…" murmured House, deep in thought.

"Was it your fault?" asked Kutner.

House looked up only to realize that both he and Amber had disappeared. Why would they leave now of all times? Then House heard the reason: footsteps outside and a familiar voice. Somebody was coming. But why were they so shy now? They didn't have a problem intervening at the most inconvenient of times before. House heard the doorknob turn, and he shifted his body to face the door. _Oh no_, he thought, _not her_.

"House!" she exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"Just thought I'd take a little vacation," House replied. "It's been long overdue."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "This is no time for joking! What happened? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

She was asking the stupidest questions, so he figured he'd give her the stupidest answers. "I did tell someone. How do you think I got here?"

Cameron frowned at his response and sat in a chair next to his bed.

House laid his head down on his pillow and crossed his legs. He stared up at the ceiling in annoyance. "If you're going to psychoanalyze me, don't worry, they have people here who do that already."

"I just want to know what happened," Cameron sighed.

House turned his head and looked at her suspiciously. "You're just curious."

"No," Cameron replied. "I'm not you."

"Then why do you want to know?"

"Because I care!" she nearly shouted at him. Why was he being so impossible? Didn't he realize how serious mental illness was?

"That doesn't surprise me," said House. "What does surprise me is that you think the simple act of knowing what's happened can in some way help me. I already know what happened; I don't think you knowing can help me in any way."

Cameron was becoming annoyed. Why had she even come here? "I just thought that maybe I could help. If I didn't come here and ask you what was wrong, then how was I supposed to help?"

House stared at her wryly. "I don't need your help."

Cameron was hurt, but how could she be surprised? "Get well soon, House."

As Cameron got up to leave, though, House stopped her with a question. "How was the wedding?"

Was he just curious, or was he looking to give her a reason to stay? Cameron didn't really care why he wanted to know, though, because either way it meant that he was interested in her too. "It was… nice," said Cameron. She gave him a small smile.

"She's lying," decided Amber.

House's eyes widened at her sudden reappearance. He glanced briefly at the chair next to his bed where Amber had repositioned herself. House quickly sat up and watched Cameron's confused reaction. She moved back from the door where she was headed just a second ago and returned to House's bedside. She sat in the chair, and suddenly Amber disappeared, only to reappear right behind Cameron.

"How rude," joked Amber. "I was sitting there."

"You seem surprised," observed Cameron. "You're surprised that I actually enjoyed my wedding day?"

House broke the eye contact and instead stared at his own hands. "Not at all."

"Then why did your eyes widen? Why did you sit up so quickly?"

"Uh oh," played Amber. "She's on to you."

"No reason," House lied. "Who were your bridesmaids?"

Cameron eyed him suspiciously. Was this a game? Would she be able to get information out of him if he got it out of her? "My sister Jenny and my sister-in-law Jackie," answered Cameron.

So Cameron had one sister and one brother. "Who walked you down the aisle?"

Cameron ignored the question and instead asked one of her own. "What happened to you?"

House smirked. "You're only going to answer my questions if I answer yours?"

Cameron smirked back. "I guess you have no choice if you're really that curious, and knowing you, you are."

"Oh, she's good," noted Amber. "She knows you well."

House glanced subtly at the person standing behind the chair, but it was enough for Cameron to notice. She turned her head and looked behind her. There was no one there. She turned back to House and studied him briefly. He had returned his attention to his own hands. "Are you hallucinating?" she asked.

"No," said House quickly—maybe a little _too_ quickly.

"You are!" said Cameron, shocked. "Who do you see?"

"You're more interested in _who_ I'm seeing rather than _why_ I'm seeing them?"

"You're deflecting," claimed Amber. "You just don't want her to know that you're seeing me."

"If you knew why you were seeing him—or her—then I suspect you wouldn't be here," Cameron deduced.

"Unless I knew why I was seeing her and I still needed psychiatric therapy."

"Her," Cameron and Amber said in unison.

"Do you think she's jealous that you're seeing another girl?" played Amber. "Maybe you should tell her that you're actually hallucinating _her_! I wonder what she'd say."

House was tempted to do just what Amber had suggested, but he decided against it. Cameron would probably take it as a sign that he still had feelings for her, and she'd leave Chase just to be with him; he did not want that kind of responsibility right now. Instead, he changed the subject. "I gave you an answer, and now it's your turn. Who walked you down the aisle?"

"No one," said Cameron nonchalantly. "Who are you hallucinating?"

"No one?" asked House, slightly surprised. "Your dad didn't walk you down the aisle?"

Cameron refused to answer him, though, until he gave her another answer.

"Oh just tell her," sighed Amber impatiently. "I want to know why no one walked her down the aisle."

"Amber," House said just as nonchalantly as Cameron had. He seriously hoped that she wouldn't make a big deal out of this.

"Amber?" Cameron was more confused than surprised. "Wilson's dead girlfriend? You picked _her_?"

"Jealous?" House joked. "Why didn't your dad walk you down the aisle?"

"That doesn't make any sense." Cameron seemed to be attempting to solve the very same puzzle that House had been trying to figure out before she entered. "But there must be a reason that you chose her."

"I didn't choose her!" exclaimed House, clearly annoyed with Cameron. "She just showed up!"

"Your subconscious picked her, House. There has to be a reason." She looked at him curiously. "You aren't the least bit interested why you're hallucinating Amber?"

"It doesn't matter why I'm hallucinating her," he replied. "I'm going to get treatment, and then she'll go away."

"You know what's wrong?" asked Cameron, interested in his well-being, but when House didn't answer she knew that he truly didn't know. "Chase said he didn't know how long you were going to be in here. I suppose that means that he didn't know what you would need treatment for, and he didn't know because you didn't know."

"Chase told you I was here?" House looked at Cameron. "Cuddy and Wilson said they weren't going to tell anyone."

"Cuddy assigned Chase to take your place while you were gone."

"Why didn't _she_ rejoin the team?" asked Amber.

"Why didn't you rejoin the team?" asked House.

"I like the ER," replied Cameron as she had done many times before.

"But Chase doesn't like Diagnostics," said House. "He's made it quite clear that he's much happier in surgery. You, on the other hand, have expressed interest in rejoining my team on numerous occasions. The only thing stopping you was me, and now that I'm here, what would stop you from going back?"

Cameron didn't know how to respond to the question, but thankfully, she didn't have to. There was a knock at the door, and a woman with wavy blonde hair entered the room.

"Oh, Dr. House," she said in her Southern accent. "I didn't realize that you had a visitor."

"Oh god," sighed Amber. "Not her again. I think I'd actually prefer Cameron."

"It's okay," said Cameron. "I was leaving anyways." She stood up to leave but stopped once she reached the doorway. She turned to House and looked at him solemnly. "Get well soon, House." And with that, she left.

Ruby watched Cameron leave and briefly excused herself from House's room. She quickly caught up to Cameron in the hallway. "Excuse me!" she shouted to catch Cameron's attention.

Distraught, Cameron turned around to face the woman. "Huh?"

"Excuse me," repeated Ruby. "I was wondering if I could talk to you really quickly about Dr. House."

Cameron looked down the hallway and could still see House's door at the end. She returned her attention to Ruby and smiled grimly. "What do you need to know?"


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next morning, Cameron entered Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in desperate need of a caffeine fix. She finally arrived in the cafeteria only to find Foreman sitting alone at a table. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually seen him in there, especially alone. He was almost always in the Diagnostics Department or elsewhere doing work-related tasks. She bought a cup of coffee and took a seat at his table.

Foreman looked up from his newspaper to see Cameron sitting across from him. "Hey," he said with an almost forced smile. "What's up?"

"You aren't in Diagnostics," observed Cameron. "I thought Chase said you guys had a patient."

"No one's in yet," he replied. "Thirteen wanted to sleep in today, and I just wanted to grab a coffee and read the paper before we really had to get to work."

Cameron nodded casually. She was about to dismiss herself from the table, but a troubled look crossed Foreman's face. "What's up?" she asked.

Foreman wondered if he was really being that obvious. He considered telling her that nothing was up, but he changed his mind. He was too curious. "Cuddy picked Chase to head the department while House is gone."

"And you're jealous that she didn't choose you?" It was a random guess, but she couldn't really come up with a better conclusion.

Foreman rolled his eyes, assuming that she was just kidding. "It's just weird. I mean, last time House was put on probation, she put me in charge of the team. And then when we all left, she hired me back just so I could spy on House for her. And whenever House screws up, she puts me in charge of the cases."

Cameron considered all of this information.

"I just don't get why she wouldn't put me in charge now."

"You aren't as much like House as you think you are."

Foreman returned this comment with a quizzical expression.

"You're a self-centered, sarcastic jerk," she began, and when Foreman glared at her in offense, she continued, "but you aren't… creative."

Foreman was still confused. "Creative?"

"Yeah," said Cameron. "You never get those crazy out-of-this-world ideas. I mean, you're too… conventional. Depending on how long House is going to be away, maybe she needed someone like him in the department—you know, someone who could come up with those bizarre ideas." She was beginning to realize just how hard it was to describe House's brilliance in words.

Foreman was about to insist that he was more brilliant than the rest of the team, but that didn't matter—only Chase did. "And you think _Chase_ is… creative?"

Cameron bobbed her head back and forth in thought. Chase was certainly no House when it came to diagnostics, but he was certainly more imaginative than Foreman was. "Yeah, I suppose he is."

Foreman smirked. "Well no wonder you like him so much. He's just like House."

Cameron narrowed her eyebrows, pretending to be insulted. "I'm over House."

"You know what else I don't get?"

Cameron was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the situation. "What?" she daringly asked.

"Chase hates Diagnostics."

Cameron shook her head. "No, he likes the puzzles."

"That's not what I mean," said Foreman. "He used to enjoy his job because he thought the mysteries were fun, but when he left, he never looked back. He was glad to be out of there."

Cameron could feel her face beginning to rouge. Was he going to go where House had tried to go on her visit to him yesterday?

"You on the other hand have come back to House several times."

"I don't want my job back," she claimed. "I like the ER."

Foreman glared at her incredulously. "You can say that all you want, but you and I both know that you've enjoyed working with House on several of our cases."

Cameron's mind briefly wandered back to her involvement in some of House's cases: the special education teacher, the environmental activist, and even the man who had taken House and Hadley hostage. "That's why I can't come back," she replied grimly before rising from the table and leaving Foreman to contemplate her response.

On her way to the ER, though, Cameron passed Wilson in the lobby. He was just arriving for the day. She had something that she wanted to talk to him about, so she ran over to him and started walking him to his office.

"Hey," said Wilson with a cheery smile, although Cameron could tell that something was troubling him. She had an idea what—or rather, who—it was, too.

"I talked to House," she said.

Wilson was a little surprised that she even knew where House was, but he figured that Chase must have informed her. "Oh yeah?" was his only response.

Cameron nodded. "He's hallucinating Amber." She paused to gauge his reaction, but he seemed to already know. Why was she surprised? "He didn't really seem to want to talk about it, though."

"Well," sighed Wilson, "he's still the same old House."

"Yeah," agreed Cameron. "He asked about my wedding, but we didn't really get to talk about much. He kept deflecting."

Wilson was growing tired of the conversation. Why was she telling him all of this? She knew that it was all irrelevant, but she was continuing to talk. That could only mean that she was building up to something that actually _was_ relevant. He stopped suddenly in the hallway and turned to face her directly. "What happened?" he asked.

Cameron appeared confused at first, but she realized that Wilson was expecting some more relevant information. "His psychiatrist invited me to come back."

Wilson looked at her curiously, and they began to walk again.

"She interrupted me and House while I was visiting," she continued, "and she asked me to come back for a session with her and House."

Wilson looked at her, a little shocked. "Are you going to do it?"

"I… don't know," she replied honestly. "I wanted to see what you had to say about it first."

Wilson chuckled. "You don't need my permission to talk to House."

"I know," she said. "I just wanted to know if you thought it was a good idea. I mean, you know him better than anyone."

Wilson started to unlock his office door, but he stopped and turned to face Cameron once more. He contemplated the idea briefly before asking a question. "Does House know about this?"

Cameron shrugged. "Honestly, I don't really know. I didn't tell him, but maybe Ruby, his psychiatrist, did." She looked at Wilson expectantly, but when he didn't respond, she spoke up once more, this time much more quietly and somberly. "Do you think it'd help him?"

Wilson saw the honest concern in her eyes, and suddenly, he felt bad for both her and House. He had been dwelling about how House's illness would impact himself and Cuddy, but he hadn't really imagined it extending to Cameron and the others. He gave her a reassuring smile. "I think… I think it could be worth a try."

Cameron smiled in return. "Thanks," she said. Then she pointed at something behind her. "I'd better get down to the ER."

Wilson nodded his farewell before finally entering his office.

On her way down the hall, though, Cameron passed Foreman and Chase. They were probably walking together back toward the Department of Diagnostic Medicine right next to Wilson's office. She waved at the two of them, but they seemed too absorbed in their conversation to notice her. They were probably discussing their patient.

"What did you guys find out?" asked Chase. They had left the tests to be completed over night yesterday.

"The CBC revealed that he was slightly hypoglycemic," replied Foreman. "I've started him on glucose."

Chase nodded as they entered the department together to find Hadley and Taub already waiting for them. Chase grabbed a marker and began writing on the whiteboard. "What about the tox-screen and history?"

"Tox-screen was clean," replied Taub.

"It's interesting," added Hadley. "The patient said he hasn't been dreaming for days."

Chase turned from the whiteboard to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean he hasn't had a dream in days," she replied. "And he can't even remember what happened to him."

"He can't remember?" asked Foreman.

She shook her head. "I asked him to describe to me what happened, and he couldn't."

"Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome only happens after brain damage or a stroke," stated Taub. "This guy has no history of either."

Chase finished writing down all of the symptoms on the whiteboard:

**Hand Tremors**

**Muscle Weakness**

**Shortness of Breath**

**Double Vision**

**Tachycardia**

**Hypoglycemia**

**Memory Loss**

**Loss of Dreams**

"Alright," said Chase. "Anybody got any clue how somebody with no stroke and no brain damage suddenly loses the ability to dream?"

The ducklings stared amongst themselves in pursuit of an answer that nobody had.

"Maybe we should call House," suggested Taub.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

House trudged through a dark, misty swamp in search of something. He wasn't quite sure what that something was, but he knew that it was somewhere around here. He was sure that he'd know what he was looking for once he actually found it, but it seemed nearly impossible to find anything amongst the low and dense clouds. The only thing he could see beyond the fog, though, was darkness. House wasn't typically afraid of the dark, but this particular swamp gave him the creeps. It made his heart feel heavy and his soul feel saddened. He felt lost and unsure of where to go. Sweat dripped down his neck and instantly chilled in the cold, humid air. It sent shivers down his spine as fear and anxiety suddenly swept over him. He knew he needed to continue, though. After all, if he didn't keep searching, he'd never find whatever it was that he was looking for.

After what seemed like an eternity of searching, House finally found the edge of the marshy mud and the beginning of a dark, musky lake. He pulled his shirt off and entered the lake. It was dark and eerie, but he had an undeniable feeling that whatever he was looking for was somewhere in the water. He felt drenched in grief and sadness—disappointment and stress. His mind felt as cloudy as the cool mist around him. He finally felt the smallest sense of hope, though, when he heard laughter in the distance. It was a seductive, vindictive laugh that could only belong to one person: Amber. A flash of blonde hair in the water confirmed his suspicions. He dived underwater and began to swim towards her as a distressing tightness flooded his body. He finally resurfaced to find that the laughter was no longer coming from Amber, but rather Cuddy. She was wearing nothing more than a revealing school girl outfit that House had seen once before in his mind.

"Hi, House," she said alluringly.

House eyed her suspiciously but ultimately decided to swim closer to her.

Cuddy grabbed his neck and pulled him even closer, eventually capturing his lips in a desperate kiss.

House kissed her back, but he immediately withdrew his tongue when a stabbing pain burned in his stomach. He spun to see blood pooling all around him, and he realized that the stabbing pain was in fact coming from an actual stab wound. The last thing that he saw before the dark swamp became pitch black was the tragically hurt eyes of Lisa Cuddy.

House quickly opened his eyes and felt a drop of sweat fall down his face. His breathing had become shallow and quick, but the plain white wall on the other side of the room reassured him that he was safe in his bed at Mayfield. The girl in the chair next to his bed, however, reminded him that nightmares exist not only in sleep.

"Someone's coming," was all Amber would say.

House, too, heard footsteps outside his room and sat up to see an orderly open the door.

"Dr. House?" he asked.

When House nodded, the man motioned for him to follow.

House crawled out of bed and grabbed his cane before leaving the room with the orderly.

"You have a phone call," said the man. He led House to a public phone used for patients and visitors. He handed him the receiver and sat down in a desk not too far from the phone. It was a rule at Mayfield that no insane person was allowed to wander the hallways alone.

House wondered who would call him (especially at this hour in the morning) but eventually put the receiver up to his ear. "Hello?"

"House," greeted Chase. "We have a case."

"That's nice," replied House. "I'm not sure if you knew this, but I'm not working today. I'm actually not working this month…."

"We know," said Chase, "it's just—"

"I don't work on my days off," interrupted House, "sorry."

As House was about to hang up the phone, Amber startled him by reappearing. "You just don't trust yourself," she observed. "Come on… aren't you the least bit interested?"

House sighed and put the receiver back up against his ear.

"Are you still there?" asked Chase.

"Yeah," said House, annoyed that Amber wouldn't let him just return to his room.

At this response, Chase put House on speakerphone. "We have a patient with Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome who has no history of stroke or any other brain damage."

"Then it's not Charcot-Wilbrand," replied House.

"He can't dream," said Taub. "That's the definition of Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome. Where are you, by the way?"

"In the cuckoo's nest," said House so bluntly that the team was confused as to whether or not he was kidding.

"Bright idea," noted Amber. "They'll never believe it now."

"And the other part of the definition is that it occurs after stroke or other trauma," added House. "People forget that they dream things all the time. He's probably just stressed. He sleeps lightly and wakes up unable to remember his dreams."

"In that case," suggested Foreman, "the memory loss is unrelated."

"Memory loss?" asked House.

"He doesn't even remember what happened to him," said Hadley.

"What happened to him?"

"He was at a job interview and started experiencing hand tremors, muscle weakness, shortness of breath, and double vision," she replied.

"It sounds like a panic attack," said House, "which only further suggests that his sleep issues are stress related."

"Except it wasn't a panic attack," stated Chase. "The ER gave him tranquilizers to treat for a panic attack, and he went tachycardic."

"And he's hypoglycemic," added Taub.

"The memory loss means that it's probably neurological," suggested Foreman.

"No," corrected Taub. "This is Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome."

Before Taub could finish his explanation, though, House interrupted him. "He doesn't have—"

Taub interrupted House in return. "Charcot-Wilbrand means you can't re-visualize images, hence the reason that patients with it can't dream. His memory is fine; he just can't picture what happened."

The team seemed at a loss for what to do.

"How can we tell if it's Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome or not?" asked Hadley. "Diagnoses are based on a history of stroke or trauma, neither of which he has."

Everyone thought for a moment.

Amber pulled a Polaroid camera out of her lab coat pocket and took a picture of House. She allowed the developed picture to drop to the floor.

House studied Amber's action, wondering what it meant. "A picture of his brain wouldn't show anything if there was no trauma or clot."

The team seemed perplexed by House's statement of the obvious. Why did he tell them what they already knew?

House watched as Amber picked the photograph off of the floor and presented it to House. It was blank. What did that mean? Then suddenly, House understood. "Show him some pictures."

"What?" Foreman asked.

"Show him some pictures," repeated House. "If he can remember them, then it's not Charcot-Wilbrand."

"We should verbally list words, too," added Hadley. "If he can't remember those either, then it must be memory related."

The entire team nodded in agreement, and House hung up the phone before anyone could thank him for his help. House leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

"How ironic," Amber noted. "This guy would give anything to dream, but he's lost the ability to do so. You, on the other hand, have the ability to dream but would give anything to end it."

House stared at her and realized how much his nightmares were beginning to trouble him.

The team jumped at the sudden click of the phone.

"Do you think he's really in the looney bin?" asked Taub.

Foreman laughed. "Probably," he joked. "Cuddy's been trying to put him in there for years."

"There's no way he's in a psychiatric hospital," said Hadley. "If he was, he wouldn't have told us. Even if he was comfortable telling us, that doesn't explain why he hid it from us when he actually left. He's just evading."

Foreman and Taub seemed to agree, but Chase changed the subject before they could discuss it any longer. "I thought we were going to test his memory…." He glared at them impatiently.

The team obeyed their new boss and left the room to go test their patient.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Cameron waited for her husband at a table in the cafeteria. They had planned to eat lunch together, but Chase seemed to be running a little late. So, to pass the time, Cameron munched on her French fries and sipped on her diet cola, all the while wondering what to tell Chase of her visit to House and invitation to return. Before she had a chance to really figure it out, though, Chase took a seat across from her and smiled.

Cameron smiled happily in return. "There you are," she said. "I thought you weren't going to show."

"What? And miss out on lunch with you? Never!" He was back to his old charming and jokey self, as he always was with Cameron.

"How's the new job going?" asked Cameron in the hopes that maybe talking about the department would lead to a conversation about House.

"I'd rather be in surgery," he admitted, but when Cameron started to frown ever so slightly, he added, "but I suppose it's nice to play detective again."

Cameron smiled at his comment. He was obviously trying to make it sound better than it was. She suddenly wished that she had taken the job instead of him, but there was no way for her to tell Chase that Cuddy had offered her the position first. He'd simply ask her why she didn't return to Diagnostics, and that was a question that Cameron had enough trouble answering for others, let alone her new husband. "Well, I'm glad you're having a nice time," she played along with his lie. She realized that now was as good a time as any to discuss House, so she went for it. "Speaking of Diagnostics," she began, but Chase interrupted her.

"How was your visit with House yesterday?" he asked casually. He knew that that's what she really wanted to talk about.

Cameron raised her eyebrows slightly in surprise but quickly deduced that he knew her well. "It was…" she began, completely at a loss for the proper word. "He seems unhappy."

"So nothing's changed," joked Chase. "I suppose that's a good sign."

Cameron smirked at him and tried not to laugh. She knew he was just trying to make her feel better, but it didn't seem to be working. "He's hallucinating," she started, and when Chase looked up from his meal in shock, Cameron added, "Amber. He's hallucinating Amber."

Chase seemed confused. "That's a rather obscure choice, don't you think?"

"He said it wasn't a choice."

"Cuddy, I'd understand," continued Chase, "you even, but Amber?"

Cameron was a little surprised. Chase thought it possible that House would actually hallucinate her? She didn't dare ask him why; that would only lead down a dark path that she wasn't ready to walk quite yet.

"He seemed fine when I talked to him," added Chase.

Cameron looked up at him quizzically. "You talked to House?"

Chase nodded and took another bite of his salad. "We called him about the patient."

"You're… keeping him informed about the patient?" asked Cameron. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, he's—"

"Cameron," interrupted Chase. "You don't think I thought about that?"

Cameron waited for an explanation.

"Cuddy tells me that I have to take over his department because he's been admitted to a psychiatric hospital," started Chase, "and you don't think that I would question his judgment? His ideas?"

"But you said—"

"I figured that his input was harmless," said Chase. "I figured that it was my choice in the end, and if I didn't agree with him, then I didn't have to listen—simple as that."

Cameron chuckled lightly. "Come on, Chase, this is _House_ we're talking about."

Apparently missing her point, Chase looked at her in confusion.

"He's crazy all the time, but you know he has the power to convince anyone to do whatever it is that he wants them to do," she explained. "You don't think that rule still applies? The only difference is that now he's not just creative crazy, he's… well, he's just… insane crazy."

"So that's what you learned on your visit? He's just insane crazy now?"

Cameron sighed. "You know what I mean. I'm just suggesting that maybe you exercise a bit of caution when asking for his advice on anything because he's not in his right mind."

"When is he ever in his right mind?"

Cameron had to agree, but her point still stood. She didn't want to start an argument with Chase, though, so she changed the subject—well, in a way. "I was invited to return," she informed him.

This comment piqued Chase's interest. "House actually asked you to come back?"

"No," replied Cameron. "His psychiatrist Ruby did. Apparently she was shocked that I was even there in the first place."

Chase frowned slightly but tried not to be too revealing. "Are you going to go back?"

Cameron sighed. She had hoped that Chase would either encourage or forbid her from going, but he seemed almost indifferent. Still, she noticed the small frown that crossed his face. "Do you want me to?"

Chase met her eyes with his, wondering how to answer the question. Obviously, he didn't want his wife to be constantly visiting the man that she once had feelings for. Then again, this was House they were talking about. He was—dare he say it?—like a friend to both of them. On top of that, once House recovered and returned to the hospital, Chase could go back to his position on the surgical staff. "I'm not sure it's a good idea," he stated, but he felt the need to cover up his own selfish reasoning. "I mean, House's psychiatrist probably invited you to come back because she thought it would help him."

"You don't think I can help him?"

"I think that you think you can help him," insisted Chase. "But Cameron, this is House we're talking about. You know him. He hates nothing more than people trying to help him—trying to fix him. Knowing House, he probably just wants to solve this issue on his own."

_Well maybe that's his problem_, thought Cameron.

"You going back there will only make matters worse," he added.

Cameron could see the obvious disappointment in Chase's eyes, but what was that other look? Was it fear? Jealousy even? She knew he didn't want her to go, but how could she not? This was House they were talking about. Thankfully, before she had to respond to Chase's comment, Taub appeared at their table.

"How's the test going?" asked Chase.

"I think he has Charcot-Wilbrand," replied Taub. "You should take a look at him, though. He's still experiencing shortness of breath, and he seems really restless."

Chase nodded. "I'll be there in a second." When Taub left, Chase rose to dispose of his trash. He turned to Cameron and told her to think about what he'd said. With that, he left to attend to his patient.

Chase met the rest of his team in their patient's room. As Taub had said, Ian seemed rather irritable and restless. His breathing was obviously labored.

Hadley showed him a flash card, then another, then another. "What was on the first card?" she asked.

Ian closed his eyes and tried to think. Nothing. "I… um…"

"What about the second?" she asked with no response. "The third?"

Ian thought about the cards but seemed incapable of remembering what was on any them.

"You don't remember what happened to you at all?" asked Chase.

Ian seemed slightly confused. "Of course I remember what happened to me. I'm not dumb." He took a few deep breaths before continuing. "I was at a job interview," he began but was interrupted by Foreman.

"Were you interviewed at an office?" he tested the man.

Ian rolled his eyes. "Of course I was."

"What did it look like?" asked Foreman.

Ian thought about it, but was unable to recall the very large man's very large office and desk.

Hadley began the verbal part of the test. "I'm going to list five words. I want you to repeat them after I've said them all, okay?"

Ian nodded in understanding.

"Stapler. Dog. Water. Pillow. Hat."

Ian chuckled. This was silly. "Stapler, dog, water, pillow, hat."

The three ducklings looked at each other and then at their new mother duck.

Chase was becoming increasingly curious. "What color is the sky?"

"What?" Ian asked. _What a stupid question_, he thought to himself.

"Just answer the question," ordered Chase. "What color is the sky?"

Ian was sure that he knew the answer, but swallowed roughly when he realized that he in fact did not know what color the sky was. He shook his head. "I… I don't know."

"What about the grass?" Chase asked. "The sun?"

Ian shook his head again.

"But you know what color my shirt is, right?" asked Foreman.

Ian turned to Foreman and looked at the shirt he was wearing. "Yes, of course," he said. "It's purple."

Foreman then walked in his purple shirt over to the blinds that Ian had previously closed and opened them. He turned back to the patient. "What color is the sky?"

Ian looked outside. "Blue," he answered. Of course it was blue! How could he forget that? "What does that mean?" he asked. "What's wrong with me?"

The four doctors exchanged looks amongst themselves and seemed to come to the same conclusion.

"You have Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome," replied Chase.

"What does that mean?" asked Ian, the fear in his voice becoming more audible by the second.

"It means you can't re-visualize images," said Taub.

"What caused it?" Ian inquired.

The doctors exchanged glances once more, this time unable to come to a conclusion.

"We have no idea," answered Hadley.


	9. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Okay, guys, this chapter starts out pretty dark, but I suppose we've figured out by now (both in this story and on the show) that House's subconscious is a pretty dark place. Not to worry, though, because it gets better, and I'm pretty sure this is the last actual nightmare we'll be seeing in this story. And this chapter is extremely long (about twice my usual length), so I hope you all enjoy it! As usual, I'd love to hear your comments on it. Thanks! - Liz

Chapter 8

House inspected his surroundings. He was in a swamp once again, but it didn't seem like the swamp that he remembered. No, it wasn't nearly as cloudy or dark, but it was just as dreary and glum. This particular swamp, unlike that of his previous encounter, housed a mausoleum and, apparently, people too since House could hear the heartbreaking voices of mourners inside the tomb. House had an inkling of what he would find in the mausoleum, and it was because of that inkling that he chose to explore the surrounding area instead of joining the mourners.

House turned around in circles looking for something—anything—that he could escape to, and finally, he saw it: a swing, and on the swing was a beautiful girl. House walked over to the swing and finally recognized the girl who sat lazily upon it.

At his approaching, she hopped off of the swing and sauntered toward him in her perfectly revealing nurse's uniform. She grabbed him lightly by the neck, and whispered seductively in his ear. "Hi, House."

Both House and the girl closed their eyes briefly, just taking in the seemingly perfect moment. "Cameron," whispered House.

But this girl did not seem like Cameron at all. No, she was neither sweet nor innocent. She was aggressive and flirtatious. She pulled his neck in quickly and captured his lips in a fierce, passionate kiss. She was definitely not Cameron.

In fact, House began to question the woman's true identity after the violent kiss, and he broke the embrace. And when he finally allowed himself to withdraw from the kiss, he noticed that Cameron was not Cameron any longer.

Amber smiled bewitchingly at House, and tiny maggots began to crawl out of her nose and mouth. House took a few steps away from her to avoid them, but he quickly saw that they were scattering all around him. He stepped on the ones that he could before dashing to the mausoleum (even in his worst of nightmares, his subconscious granted himself the ability to run).

The closer he got to the mausoleum, though, the emptier he felt. It was if something was eating away at his very soul. The people inside the crypt appeared just as forlorn and bare.

House suddenly noticed that he was standing in between his two best friends, and they were both crying profusely. House turned to Cuddy. She was holding onto her daughter for dear life as if death was contagious and would soon spread to baby Rachel if she were not protected. She looked at House helplessly, though, as if he was already dead. House turned to Wilson, who consequently turned to House. They shared a despondent stare that should have connected them, but House could feel himself separating from Wilson as if the inches between them were actually miles. There was only one event that could have caused such an emotional response in Wilson: the death of Amber.

House slowly approached the coffin to verify his suspicions, but instead of Amber in the casket, it was Kutner. And suddenly House was the one who felt lost and guilty and empty. He stared at Kutner in search of an answer that never came.

"It's okay," said Amber calmly. She had reappeared next to House.

House turned to look at her, not quite understanding what she meant.

"It's going to be okay," Amber reassured him. "Everybody dies."

House nodded, but deep down he knew that something else was bothering him. He wasn't mourning the deaths of Kutner or Amber… but then what was it? What was troubling him so deeply? He turned to Amber for an answer but saw nothing more than more maggots flowing from her very being. He returned his attention to the deceased in the hopes of making the maggots disappear, but Kutner was already covered in them (and quite possibly producing them as well).

Amber held the answer; he knew it. He was about to look back at her, but she pulled him up against her. "I know what you want," she whispered into his ear. She forced a dagger into his hand.

"What do I want?" he asked obediently.

In response to his question, she slowly pulled his wrist up to her neck so that the blade was positioned right up against her throat. "Do it," she pushed.

House shook his head. He couldn't; he wouldn't. "No… I can't do it."

"Do it," she repeated, pulling him even closer to her.

He could feel her breath on his neck, her heartbeat on his chest. She was so alive, so comforting. He simply couldn't let her go.

"Do it," she ordered him, this time with more force. With a thrust from Amber's hand, House finally managed to slide the knife across her throat, resulting in a spatter of blood and sudden darkness.

House jolted awake, once more in a terribly chilling sweat. Reality hit him, and he seemed to calm down, but he would never escape the nightmares. He hesitantly turned to look at the chair next to his bed. She was there, of course, but thankfully the maggots had disappeared.

"Good morning," she greeted him politely.

"You're still there," he sighed in disappointment.

Amber chuckled. "You didn't really kill me. It was only a dream."

"Well, you're only a hallucination," he replied. "How was I supposed to know what it would take to get rid of you?"

Amber smiled. "You want to get rid of me?"

_Duh_, thought House. He didn't need to say it out loud, though, because Amber could hear even his thoughts.

"Then why was it so hard?" she asked. A silver dagger had suddenly appeared in her hands, and she began to fiddle with it.

House knew that she was referring to his nightmare. Why had it been so hard to kill her if he wanted her gone so badly? "I don't want you to stay," he insisted.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"You're only asking that because I'm unsure of the real answer," he deduced. "I want you gone. I know that."

"Then why was it so hard?" she repeated.

"The only conclusion is…" began House, and he trailed off into thought. Of course! "You aren't really Amber."

"I'm _you_," she agreed.

"That means I don't want _you_ dead," he explained. "I want _me_ dead—or rather, a part of me."

Amber giggled. "That's funny," she said. "Now what part of you could you know needs to die, but you just can't let go of?"

House knew the answer, but he didn't want to admit it. But then, that was only evidence that it was the right answer, wasn't it? "Vicodin."

"Very good," she cheered. "So, if to murder another means to kill a part of you, then what must it mean to be murdered by another?"

House knew that she was talking about his previous nightmare. "The same thing," he concluded.

"That doesn't make sense," Amber disclosed. "How could you possibly know that Cuddy wants some aspect of herself that resembles you to die?"

House shook his head and thought some more. "I want to part with my vicodin addiction," he began.

Amber nodded in encouragement. He was getting somewhere.

"So she wanted to part with me?"

"How could you know that?" asked Amber helpfully.

"So it has nothing to do with the fact that either of us wanted to leave the other," concluded House. "All that matters is that it happened. We were together, but then we weren't."

"Why weren't you together?" inquired Amber curiously.

"We never really slept together," said House as if the answer was obvious.

"You can't lie to me," laughed Amber. "You and I both know that you were never actually _together_. Why weren't you together?"

What reason could he have had to refrain from a relationship with Cuddy? "Rachel?"

Amber smiled. "Is that all? You just can't date girls with kids?"

There had to be more. "I wasn't ready."

"Why not?"

What a loaded question. Why wasn't House ready for another relationship? Well, his last relationship had only ended in hurt, and when he got a second chance at that relationship, it only ended in hurt once more.

"You'll never be ready," divulged Amber.

House didn't want to believe her words, but how could he not? He was listening to his own subconscious after all. "So what? That's what I'm supposed to take from all of this?" he asked bitterly. "I'm doomed to a life of loneliness?"

"It's your life," replied Amber, unaffected by his misery. "It's your choice."

"That doesn't make any sense," House sighed in frustration.

"Only because you refuse to listen," returned Amber. "Listen."

Fine. He was listening. "So what? You're going to tell me that every day is a gift and I'm wasting it with lies about how I don't deserve happiness?"

Amber simply shrugged. "Why was Cameron in your dream?"

It appeared to be a sudden change of topic, but maybe it wasn't. What had made his mind suddenly think of Cameron while he was dwelling in his own misery? He laughed begrudgingly. "I get it," he joked. "I'm supposed to let Cameron fix me, and then we'll live happily ever after?"

Amber snorted. "That doesn't sound like you at all."

"Exactly," claimed House. "So why did you even suggest it?"

Amber feigned innocence. "Don't look at me! It wasn't my idea!"

House groaned. He was becoming increasingly frustrated with the situation. If that wasn't the answer, then why had he even thought of it? But then it occurred to him that the girl in his dream wasn't really Cameron. "That wasn't Cameron," he claimed.

"Who was it?"

"It was you."

"Not at first."

House nodded. "Fine, so it wasn't Cameron, and it wasn't you." He thought for a moment. "It was both of you." What was the link between Cameron and his subconscious? House turned to Amber for some input and noticed that she was applying some lipstick. "I was kissing her," he said as if this information might help him in some way. "Why was I kissing her?"

Amber chuckled. "You need a reason to kiss someone?"

"I need a reason to kiss _Cameron_," retorted House. "She's married."

"Since when have you let something like a wedding ring stop you from getting what you want?"

"I don't _want_ Cameron."

Amber sat in House's lap and leaned in close to his ear. "Are you sure?" she asked in a voice that House recognized as Cameron's, but when he pushed Amber away, she was still the same woman.

He sighed in relief, not quite sure why. Maybe it was because this time, there were no maggots falling from her face. "Why were you covered in maggots?"

"Remember that time you used maggots to clear off the dead flesh of your patient?"

"Focus!" ordered House.

"You know," said Amber defensively. "Kutner was covered in maggots too. They were just eating away at him."

House chuckled sarcastically. "I get it… something was _eating away at me_."

Amber smiled smugly, apparently proud of her pun.

"So you were covered in the maggots, and so was Kutner."

"How can your own subconscious be eating away at you?"

"It's not," replied House. "You are."

"And you said you didn't feel guilty at all," she replied sarcastically. "And not just for my death, but for Kutner's too."

"I should have noticed something," admitted House quietly. The volume of his voice was decreasing. "I should have been able to see it coming. I should have stopped him."

"You're not upset because he's dead," said Amber. "You don't even think it's your fault he's dead."

House looked at her questioningly. His voice was low, but he needed an answer. "Then why do I feel like crap?"

"You're just afraid that you're losing your talent for observation."

"I'm not," he replied. "At least I think I'm not."

"You're not," confirmed Amber with hope in her voice. "You just think you are. Maybe convincing yourself that your gifts are not gone is all you need to recover from Kutner's death. Maybe you just need some proof that what makes you _you_ is still intact."

House regarded her incredulously. "That's it? I tell myself that I'm still a genius, and I'm all better?"

Amber laughed. "Haven't you been listening at all?"

House nodded. There was much more to this than Kutner's death. There was the vicodin, there was the guilt, there was Cuddy, and there was… Cameron.

Really, there was Cameron. House jumped from his bed and glanced out the window of his door. He could swear that he had just seen Cameron walk by, but it couldn't have been her. He limped over to the door and looked out the window. Cameron was certainly not there, but the male orderly had reappeared in front of his door. House was slightly startled by the man's appearance, but he stepped back and let him enter nonetheless.

"Hey," started House. "Did you just see a blonde girl walk down that hall? Really skinny, looks like she—" His probably inappropriate comment was cut off, though.

"You have a phone call," said the man dryly. He stepped back and ushered House out of the room.

"Great," replied House, "but about that girl…"

The irritated man led House down the hall and handed him the receiver. "Make it quick."

Annoyed, House grabbed the phone from the man and spoke. "What do you want now? I was busy."

"Ian still can't breathe well," informed Chase without as much as a greeting. He knew House wouldn't have wanted one anyways.

"Who the hell is Ian?"

"Our patient with Charcot-Wilbrand," replied Taub.

"The test was positive?" asked House. "He can remember words, but he can't visualize images?"

"Yeah," said Hadley. "He didn't even remember what color the sky was."

God House wished he had a whiteboard here. There was a plain white wall on the other side of the hallway, but he had absolutely nothing to write with.

Suddenly, Amber reappeared next to House. She pulled out her lipstick and began reapplying it. "Such a pretty shade," she commented.

Then House smiled, knowing full well what he was about to attempt. Did he have the capacity to memorize and focus that well, though? He would give it a shot. "Read me off all of the symptoms."

"Why?" asked Foreman. Surely House didn't have his own whiteboard wherever he was.

"I'm going to write them down," informed House. "Why else? Shoot!"

"Uh, alright," started Chase, and he began to read off the patient's symptoms.

As soon as Chase began to read them off, Amber began writing all over the white wall with her lipstick.

"The Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome rules out memory loss as a symptom, though," House reminded them, and as soon as he had, Amber crossed it off of her list.

House grinned at the imaginary whiteboard in his mind. It was too good to be true.

**Hand Tremors**

**Muscle Weakness**

**Shortness of Breath**

**Double Vision**

**Tachycardia**

**Hypoglycemia**

**Memory Loss**

**Loss of Dreams – Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome**

"But that's not what we need to be focusing on," decided Chase. "If Ian really has Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome—which we are pretty sure he does—then the brain damage is permanent. We can't fix it. We should be focusing on the other symptoms that we can fix."

"That doesn't mean you can ignore the Charcot-Wilbrand though," said Foreman. "The brain damage tells us something."

"Fine," played Hadley. "What does it tell us?"

"Well, what do we know about the syndrome?" asked Taub. "It's caused by either trauma or stroke. So the patient must have one of those."

Hadley nodded. "Okay, well, then maybe he did undergo trauma but he can't remember it because it caused amnesia, in which case memory loss is back on the table."

Foreman chuckled at the far-fetched notion. "It's more likely that it was caused by a clot that resolved on its own."

Taub nodded in agreement. "Lung diseases can cause heart problems, and heart diseases can cause lung problems. Maybe an arrhythmia caused the heart to send a clot to the lungs. It's a pulmonary embolism."

"That doesn't explain the hand tremors, muscle weakness, double vision, or hypoglycemia," stated Hadley skeptically.

"The other symptoms are neurological," noted Foreman. "Maybe the Charcot-Wilbrand was caused by a stroke, and they're just other effects of the minor stroke he must have had."

"And the hypoglycemia?" she asked.

"He's probably just malnourished," suggested Taub. "A clot is still our most likely candidate."

House contemplated their debate. "Get a chest CT to check the lungs for emboli, an EKG to check for an arrhythmia, and a D-Dimer to rule out any other clotting disorder."

"House," Chase silenced him. "It's my patient, remember?"

House knew why he was trying to stop him from ordering tests. Chase didn't trust his judgment. Hell, House didn't trust his own judgment, either. He just figured that Chase would keep him in check, and he was. In an odd way, he was grateful.

At House's silence, Chase nodded and ordered the team to go run the tests. They stopped immediately and sat back down, though, when they heard House's next question.

"Why is your wife here?"

Foreman, Hadley, and Taub all looked at each other in shock. Cameron was with House wherever he was? Did Chase know about this?

Chase frowned. Had Cameron actually decided to go back to Mayfield even after his obvious objection? "What are you talking about?"

"Cameron," said House. "I swear I just saw her."

Chase didn't want to believe it. He tried to reason with House. "Well, if she was there, she'd be with you, wouldn't she? You were probably just seeing things."

House snorted. The doubt in Chase's voice only assured him more that Cameron had in fact returned to the psychiatric hospital. "Right, I must be hallucinating again."

"You're hallucinating?" asked Hadley slightly surprised.

House was silent for a moment. He thought they had left to run the tests. "It was a joke," he claimed. "I was just being sarcastic. I do that sometimes, you know."

The three ducklings were reluctant to believe him, though. He sounded too taken off-guard by her question.

Thankfully for House, he was saved by the one person in his life who he despised most of all at that time: Ruby.

"Dr. House," she greeted him. "Did you forget our appointment?"

"Appointment with who?" asked Taub eagerly. He could hear their exchange over the speakerphone.

Chase immediately turned off the speakerphone to protect House's privacy. He didn't hang up the phone, however, because he was interested to see if Cameron actually had shown up for the session or not.

House shook his head at Ruby. How could he have forgotten one of his psychiatric sessions? Sure he hated them, but his days practically revolved around them now that he was in Mayfield.

"Surely you won't mind having a guest this time?" asked Ruby, motioning toward the woman next to her.

At this remark, Chase knew that Ruby was talking about Cameron, and he hung the phone up angrily. How could she go even though he had told her not to? Maybe she was just trying to help House like she said, but maybe there was something more going on here than he knew. Not knowing which scenario was the true one only troubled him more. He turned to face his team and ordered them to go run the tests on their patient.

House had previously failed to acknowledge Cameron, but at Ruby's invitation, he finally looked at her.

Amber poked her head in between those of Ruby and Cameron. "This can't be good for us," she sighed, and House had to agree.

Immediately after Foreman, Hadley, and Taub had left their office, they turned to one another in shock and curiosity.

"What was that all about?" asked Hadley.

"I bet he really is in the looney bin," Taub joked, although he could feel some possible truth in his words. "I mean, it would make sense. He says he's hallucinating. He has an appointment with some woman, and Cameron's there too? Knowing Cameron she's there to help House. Come on, that sounds like psychiatric therapy to me."

Foreman shook his head. "It doesn't matter where House is. All that matters is that he's not here. I'm sure he wouldn't want us talking about him and figuring this out. He obviously didn't want us to know."

"That's not true," said Taub. "If he was serious about being in the funny farm last time we called him, then he only has himself to blame for us finding out."

Hadley laughed. "And besides, since when has House's disapproval stopped us from finding the right answer?"

Foreman exchanged glances between his two colleagues with the feeling that maybe they were right.


	10. Chapter 9

Author's Note: And now the chapter you've all been waiting for: the session between House and Cameron! This chapter ended up being a LOT longer than I was expecting it to be. I really hope you all enjoy it. Let me know what you think! - Liz

Chapter 9

Ruby led House and Cameron down a long, plain hallway toward her office. All the while, Cameron examined her surroundings. The walls were so bare and white and lifeless. Patients were, for the most part, alone in their rooms. She couldn't imagine having to stay in such a place for as long as House was sure to be here. She truly pitied him (even though he would surly detest her pity), and she was determined to do anything that she could to accelerate this process. She would do anything just to make him better.

"That's why you're here, isn't it?" asked House as if he could read her mind. They hadn't yet reached Ruby's office, and yet the psychoanalysis had already begun.

"I think that explanation requires some sort of previous position," remarked Cameron, "like—I don't know—your reasoning for me being here?"

"You've come to fix me."

Cameron quickly turned and glared at him. She shouldn't have been surprised that she was in his mind. After all, he had been in hers ever since the end of her fellowship, or maybe even prior to that occasion.

Cameron appeared offended, but House could see the surprise in her eyes. That could only mean one thing: he was right. He heaved a dramatic sigh. "Oh god, you're not going to start this up again, are you?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked bitterly. Suddenly, she was beginning to regret her decision to come to this session.

"Don't play dumb with me," he replied. "That little crush of yours…. That need to fix me, to make me happy…. "

Cameron chuckled sardonically. "You don't want to be happy?"

"I don't want you to try and _make_ me happy," he declared. "Besides, you should know by now that cute stuff doesn't work on me."

They had finally reached the door of Ruby's office, and all three stopped suddenly.

Cameron turned to House with seduction in her eyes. "Trust me," she said. "I'm not being cute."

"Oh, that's hot," asserted Amber, but House tried his best to ignore her.

House met Cameron's eyes with a daring stare of his own as if they were challenging one another to a fight. "That's like Chase saying he's not British."

"Chase isn't British," shot Cameron, convinced that she had won the battle.

"There are lies we tell ourselves," started House, and he could see the red rising in her cheeks. He knew he was about to win the war. "Lies that we use to avoid reality because we know the truth is just too much to bare."

"Everybody lies," agreed Amber. She seemed just as intent as House on studying Cameron's reactions.

Cameron felt the hotness in her cheeks. It seemed like _he_ was going to be the one to bring up her old crush. She felt that the best and only way to change the subject would be with a joke. "Why would Chase want to avoid being British?"

"Why wouldn't he?" House met her joke with one of his own.

Their exchange was interrupted, though, by Ruby awkwardly clearing her throat. "We're here." She ushered them into the room where they all took a seat. Their session hadn't even begun, and yet she knew that this was going to be one of her more interesting meetings. Honestly, there was already mention of an old crush and cuteness and lies. This was going to be better than her daytime soap. "Where should we begin?" It was an open invitation for the both of them to discuss anything and everything that came to mind.

Annoyed that there was only one couch and no other sort of chair in the room to sit on, Cameron slid over to one side as far as she could go (House mockingly did the same). She suddenly had the feeling that she was at couple's therapy. She just never expected she would get that feeling with House. She didn't have any response to Ruby's question. She was here to help House, and she was willing to go wherever he wished to take them.

"I've got a question," announced House.

Ruby was slightly surprised that he was the first to talk. She had had problems just getting him to say anything serious in any of their previous meetings. "Good. Go ahead."

House smiled, pretending to be helpful. "Why didn't your dad walk you down the aisle?"

Cameron rolled her eyes. Okay, she was willing to go wherever House wished to take them _except there_. "You're still obsessing over that?"

"She doesn't want to answer," observed Amber who had positioned herself in-between House and Cameron on the couch. "This has to be good."

House jumped slightly at Amber's reappearance, but no one noticed. The other two women in the room simply thought that he was staring at Cameron. "Does that really surprise you?" He paused for a moment, obviously preparing an argument. "Your sister was your maid of honor, and your sister-in-law was another bridesmaid. You must be on good terms with both of your siblings."

"What's your point?" asked Cameron.

He needed more information. "Was your mother at the wedding?"

Cameron wasn't sure if she should jokingly respond to all of his questions to protect herself or if she should just come out with the truth and maybe help him. "This has nothing to do with you or why you're here."

House shook his head. "That's a no."

Cameron rolled her eyes. This was going nowhere. "Yes."

"Yes, she was there, or yes, it's a no?"

"Yes, she was there," sighed Cameron. "You satisfied? Now can we get back to the reason why we're here?"

"That's a good idea," agreed Ruby.

"Interesting," noted Amber. "Her mother and siblings all attended the wedding, but not her father? What could he have done that Cameron wouldn't want him to walk her down the aisle?"

Thankfully for House, Ruby saw this as a good opportunity to talk about Cameron as well.

"So," she started casually. "You have a brother and a sister?"

Cameron nodded, hoping all the while that they would soon stop talking about her. "Yeah, Jenny and Sam."

House was about to ask her more about her family, but there was an electric beeping noise coming from Cameron's purse.

"Oh sorry," she apologized to Ruby. "That must be my husband." Cameron retrieved her cell phone from her purse and looked at the screen:

How's the session going? Tell House that the tests were negative. It wasn't a clot. His hair is falling out. We're testing for lupus and Guillan-Barré. ANA and LP should be back soon. Love you.

Cameron smiled at his final comment. Maybe he'd already forgiven her for returning to see House.

"What did Chase want?"

Ruby made a note of the name of Cameron's husband. She'd heard it mentioned before when House and Cameron were quarrelling.

"He told me to tell you that the tests came back negative, it wasn't a clot, his hair is falling out, and—"

"Chase's hair is falling out?" House shrugged mockingly. "I suppose it can't stay floppy forever."

"The patient's hair," corrected Cameron, ignoring House rudeness. "They're running an ANA and an LP to test for lupus and Guillan-Barré."

House nodded. "No comments about how mad he was that you're here?"

"Why would you assume that he didn't want me to come?"

"It was him I was on the phone with when you so rudely interrupted," supplied House. "He seemed surprised, and—dare I say?—angry."

Cameron remained silent.

"So," he continued. "I can only assume that he didn't want you here, and yet you came anyway. Why?"

"I just came to help," she insisted.

"Okay," said House, "but that doesn't explain why he didn't want you to come here."

Again, Cameron was silent.

"This is much more fun than usual," giggled Amber. "She should come back for all of these sessions."

"I have an idea," suggested Ruby in an attempt to end the bickering and actually talk about something productive. "Why don't you two tell me about how you met?"

"She used to work for me," answered House simply.

Cameron snorted. "Only because you thought I was hot. You didn't even care about my medical credentials."

"Oh my god," whined Amber. "Is she still upset about that? Somebody needs to learn to forgive and forget."

"Used to work for him?" asked Ruby. "You're still friends?"

"We're not _friends_," replied House and Cameron in unison. This caused them to quickly exchange a glare before returning their attention to Ruby.

Ruby was confused. They weren't friends. They didn't work together. "Then, would you mind me asking why you're here?"

Cameron thought about it. "We're colleagues. I just wanted to help him."

Ruby almost laughed. "That's funny. You've been House's only visitor since admittance here. I would have figured he had more than one colleague."

Cameron was surprised and slightly confused. "Wilson hasn't visited you? Cuddy?"

"She's right," noted Amber. "We haven't seen Wilson since he dropped us off. It's been over two weeks, and he hasn't even visited us."

"He hasn't even mentioned anyone," Ruby told Cameron. "Who are Wilson and Cuddy?"

"Wilson's his best friend," replied Cameron, still puzzled. "Cuddy's his… boss. Well, they're friends, too, but—"

"I _am_ in the room, you know," interjected House.

Cameron apologized. "Sorry, I just thought—"

"Can we talk about something else?" asked House. He wasn't sure how this session was supposed to be helping his mental health. If anything, it was making it worse.

Ruby was satisfied to at least have the names of two other people she could contact. Now if only she could get House to open up about something—anything—that might give her a clue as to what was wrong with him. She needed to understand him, but he was resisting so relentlessly. Then it occurred to her that the only times House would talk about himself or his past was when he was talking about another person. Maybe if she could get Cameron to open up, she could indulge House's curiosity and trick him into opening up as well. "You know, Cameron, I never caught your first name."

"Allison," Cameron informed the psychiatrist. She could sense some sort of psychological ploy about to occur.

"What's going on?" asked Amber. She noticed a subtle smirk spread across Ruby's face. "She's up to something."

"Allison," repeated Ruby with a smile. "Allison—do you mind if I call you that?—how would you describe your relationship with Dr. House?"

Cameron was confused once more. "What do you mean?"

Ruby shrugged. "I mean, what's your relationship like?"

Cameron had never really thought about it before, but after much contemplation, she summed up her entire relationship with House in one word. "Awkward."

That wasn't exactly the type of response that Ruby had expected, but at least it was something. "Awkward how?"

"I don't know," she began. "He hired me based on some sexual attraction, and then—"

"I thought you were over that by now," interrupted House. "We talked about this."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "And I _am_ over it, but that doesn't stop our interactions from being just plain awkward. Come on, House. I had just started working for you, and you told me that you thought I was hot—"

"I don't think that was the word I used."

"Whatever! Just let me finish," she huffed in frustration. "And then you spend the next five years insisting that you don't like me whatsoever. It doesn't even make sense."

"You're basing our entire relationship on that one comment? I called you hot, so you thought I wanted to marry you?"

"That's not what I'm saying, and you know it." Cameron felt a sense of regret once more, but at least she was finally getting House to talk about their history. Maybe it would resolve some conflict between them. Maybe it would even help him.

"Then what _are_ you basing it on?"

"What am I basing it on?" she repeated his wording. "Everything! I mean, the monster trucks, the date, the kiss, the—"

"That's hardly fair," interrupted House once more. "_You_ kissed _me_, and you were only doing it to get a blood sample."

"You kissed back." She repeated the words that she had spoken to him on that very occasion.

Ruby smiled as she watched her plan unfold perfectly. By asking Cameron one simple question, she'd discovered that the two had shared both a date and a kiss, and… what was that other thing? Monster trucks? What was that all about? "I'm sorry," Ruby chimed in. "Monster trucks?"

"House asked me out on this date to see—"

"It wasn't a date."

"Yes, it was. He took me to see monster trucks."

"I told you it wasn't a date," he repeated himself. "I just took you because Wilson couldn't go."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "You could have asked _anyone_. You could have taken Foreman or Chase or even Cuddy, but you chose me, the girl who had no idea if she even liked them. Why?"

"You were the first person I came across after talking to Wilson," he lied.

"Right." Cameron glared at him angrily and in disbelief.

"Jesus," sighed Amber in frustration. "She was right. This _is_ awkward."

Thankfully, though, another beeping from Cameron's phone broke the awkward tension between the two. Cameron pulled her phone out of her purse once more and read Chase's text message:

ANA was negative and LP was normal. Ideas?

Cameron sighed and tossed the phone to House from her side of the couch. "I think it's for you."

"Dr. Cameron?" asked Ruby. "Do you think you could turn off your phone?"

"It's an emergency," House lied.

"No it's not," said Cameron. She grabbed the phone from House and turned it off. He'd already read the message though.

Ruby thanked her. She wasn't sure what else to ask Cameron, though, so she shifted her attention to House. She wanted as much information as he was willing to reveal (which she was almost certain wouldn't be much). She was still curious about House's reasons for hiring Cameron in the first place, so she started there. "Did you really hire Dr. Cameron because you thought she was hot?"

"_Thought_ she was hot?" asked Amber. "She _is_ hot." Amber turned to House with a suggestive smile on her face. She was trying to tell him something, and House had a feeling that it had nothing to do with Cameron.

"Hot." House repeated Amber's word. He seemed deep in thought as if he were trying to solve a puzzle. What was she talking about? Was she referring to the patient?

"I'm sorry?" asked Ruby.

House spun to face Cameron. "The patient, was he hot?"

"I've never even seen him," replied Cameron, not sure how that was relevant.

"That's not what I mean. Was he _hot_?"

Cameron didn't know. After all, it wasn't her patient. "I don't know. Why? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Chase said the LP was normal."

"Okay…?"

"It shouldn't be."

"Yes it should. That's the definition of normal."

"No, I mean, he should have elevated lactate."

"Elevated lactate would suggest trauma," said Cameron.

"Exactly," continued House. "The brain damage in Charcot-Wilbrand has to be caused by a stroke or some other sort of trauma."

"They ruled out clots," said Cameron, and she suddenly understood. "So he must have had brain trauma and elevated lactate. He doesn't have elevated lactate, so it must not have been trauma." She paused. "Wait, I don't think that makes sense."

"It was caused by a clot," decided House. "The symptom that brought him to Diagnostics was tachycardia, which suggests that he has an irregular heartbeat."

"EKG was normal."

"It was an intermittent arrhythmia," said House. "His heart's been beating irregularly. It sent a clot to his brain that caused the Charcot-Wilbrand. The clot resolved on its own, though, and caused no other evident symptoms."

"Okay," Cameron followed him. "Then the question is what caused the arrhythmia."

House thought for a moment, trying to remember what the patient's other symptoms were. Where was his imaginary whiteboard when he needed it? House closed his eyes and tried to focus on the whiteboard that Amber had helped him create in the hopes that it would bring back his memory.

It worked. When House opened his eyes, Amber was standing behind Ruby's desk. The patient's symptoms were written in red lipstick on the wall behind her with the added symptom of hair loss:

**Hand Tremors**

**Muscle Weakness**

**Shortness of Breath**

**Double Vision**

**Tachycardia**

**Hypoglycemia**

**Loss of Dreams – Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome**

**Hair Loss**

"Hot," repeated House. "It has something to do with heat."

"If the patient had a fever, I'm sure they would have noticed," said Cameron.

"Maybe he doesn't have a fever; maybe he's just a little hot."

"What makes you think he's hot?"

House didn't want to admit that Amber had given him the idea. He knew that Cameron wouldn't encourage him any further if he did. "Hair loss and hypoglycemia… it could be hormonal."

"Okay... So what hormonal disorder can cause all of the other symptoms?"

Heat. That was the clue. "Hyperpituitarism."

"That doesn't—"

"It's really rare," House admitted, "but sometimes overproduction of TSH in the pituitary can lead to hyperthyroidism. It would explain all of his symptoms including overheating."

"He has a pituitary gland tumor," Cameron revealed. "I'll tell Chase to get an MRI." She was about to get up to leave but suddenly remembered that she had come here to help House, and instead they had wound up discussing a patient. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "Were we done here?"

Ruby sighed. So much time had been wasted during their session, and yet she couldn't be completely disappointed. After all, she had learned a lot more about House's personal relationship with the woman. She got up and signaled for an escort to return House to his room. Once he had left, Ruby stopped Cameron from departing. "Could I ask you for a favor?"

What more could she want? "What do you need?"

"Could you possibly get me the numbers of House's friends?" She tried to remember their names. "Wilson and Cuddy right?"

Cameron nodded and pulled out her cell phone to give Ruby the phone numbers.

"You said Wilson was his best friend?"

Cameron nodded once more. "Why?"

"I'm just surprised he never mentioned him. That's all."

"House's biggest problem has always been that he doesn't realize how many people care about him." She frowned and appeared deeply upset. "Would you excuse me?" Cameron tried to conceal her disappointment, but Ruby was already aware of it.

"Of course."

And with that, Cameron fled Mayfield to calm herself and to supply Chase with a diagnosis.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The next morning, Cameron sauntered in through the doors of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Chase had volunteered to perform the surgery and post-op for his patient, Ian, the night before, and she realized that she hadn't really seen him since the day they'd had their argument (or nearly had their argument). Of course, even that night Chase had been in decent spirits because he was convinced that Cameron would refrain from visiting House, but she suspected that he was no longer as pleased with her. After all, she had gone against his wishes. Sure, it was her choice in the end, but the simple act of defiance must have left him feeling at least somewhat betrayed. Then again, he had learned of her visitation while on the phone with House, and yet his text message following the occasion seemed rather loving and forgiving. Still, House had said that Chase was surprised and angry when he heard that she was there. Did House lie to her? Why would he do that? And if that was the case, why wasn't Chase upset that she had disobeyed him? Even more significantly, why was she upset that Chase wasn't upset? Before she could finish pondering all of these thoughts, though, Chase appeared from behind elevator doors. He was still donning his minty green scrubs when he approached her. Cameron noticed a smile on his face, and he even opened up his arms to hug her. Cameron graciously granted him this hug, as well as a small peck.

"Long time no see," she opened as she tried to study his reaction to her. He was happy. Was it true? Had House lied to her about Chase being upset? Why would he do that?

"No kidding," sighed Chase. "I was just heading home. I'm exhausted." After all, he had recently pulled an all-nighter.

Cameron nodded in understanding. Still, she felt the need to discuss the day before. "I take it your surgery went well?"

Chase nodded. "We were able to excise the tumor from his pituitary, and he should be fine. The brain damage caused by the stroke couldn't be repaired, though. He'll never dream again."

Cameron frowned. Dreaming seemed like such a small and frivolous part of life, and yet she could not imagine her nights without it. "I'm sure House will be glad to know that his diagnosis was correct."

Chase's smile diminished slightly at that comment. "About that—"

Cameron shook her head apologetically. "Listen, I'm really sorry I went. I knew you weren't comfortable with it. I just wanted to make sure he was okay. I wanted to try and help."

Chase understood her reasoning for going. "You were just doing what you thought you needed to. It wasn't my place to object to you going."

Cameron smiled. He was always so compassionate and understanding with her. Even when she didn't recognize her own motives at times, he always seemed to. That might have been what she loved most about him. "To be quite honest, I'm not really sure I helped much."

Chase didn't know how to comfort her, so he simply put his arm around her shoulder and started walking with her to the locker rooms where they could both change.

"I mean, I suppose I helped his psychiatrist get him to say something that wasn't a joke for once," she said. "I just don't know if it will be of any real help to either of them."

Chase squeezed her shoulders lovingly. "I know how you've been upset lately about House and everything, so I got you a surprise."

Cameron grinned. "What is it?"

"It's a surprise," he replied. "I left it in your locker for you."

"So it's something that can fit in my locker…"

"Sort of," divulged Chase.

Cameron bid Chase farewell before they both entered their respective locker rooms. Cameron unlocked her locker to find the surprise: two tickets to the ballet. She grinned, and without warning, memories of her childhood flooded back to her.

Wilson and Cuddy were not enjoying themselves nearly as much as Chase and Cameron were, though. Wilson had arrived in Cuddy's office to discuss a few things with her.

"I'm going to need to leave early tonight, if that's alright with you."

Cuddy looked at him curiously. Not only did he never leave early, but he also never asked her for permission when he did. So it wasn't really the permission he was seeking. No, he must want to talk about something. "What's up?"

"I need to catch a train to New York," he informed her. "I'm visiting my brother tonight."

Cuddy had heard him mention his schizophrenic brother before, but she wasn't really aware of where their relationship currently stood. "How's he doing?"

Wilson shook his head, unsure of what to say. "His meds seem to be helping."

Cuddy smiled comfortingly, but she knew there was more to this conversation than he was currently disclosing. "That's good."

Wilson responded with only a nod, but he didn't leave her office. It was obvious that there was something else on his mind.

Cuddy took a guess. "This doesn't have anything to do with you not visiting House, does it?"

Wilson was confused. "You think I've been visiting my brother so much that I haven't had time for House?"

Cuddy smirked. Was he kidding, or was he really confused? "No, I mean, your brother's illness, it doesn't have anything to do with why you're avoiding your best friend, does it?"

Wilson seemed hurt, but only because he realized that it was true. Maybe seeing his brother cope with mental illness had in some way scared him; he was afraid of how House would be able to manage it. "I wanted him to meet my brother," he commented. "I guess he can't really do that now." He took a seat on the couch next to Cuddy. "His psychiatrist called me today," he revealed. "Her name is Ruby."

"What did she want?"

"She wanted us to go and visit him." Wilson paused for a second. "She seemed to think that maybe if we sat in on a session it could help him."

Cuddy didn't know what to do with this information. She suspected that House had nothing to do with the invitation. Nonetheless, she also supposed that having her and Wilson visit might help House to open up a little more. It might make him feel more comfortable talking, but then again, it also might make it harder for him to talk. She wasn't sure what to do.

"So what's your excuse?" asked Wilson. For some reason, he felt the need to defend himself. "You haven't visited him either."

"I have a new baby, you know."

"And a new babysitter."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Okay, so maybe I've been avoiding him too."

"Why?"

Cuddy stared at him as if the answer was obvious. "Honestly?"

Wilson nodded.

"Wilson," she said his name but nothing more for a moment. She wasn't sure how much she should tell him. "I told you House was having delusions."

Wilson nodded once more. "He thought he had slept with you, so now you're avoiding him?"

Cuddy shook her head. "Why would it surprise me that House would imagine us sleeping together?"

"Then why haven't you visited?"

"He asked me to move in with him," admitted Cuddy.

Wilson's eyes widened. "What?!"

Cuddy just shook her head.

"What… what did you say?"

"I laughed at him, and then I fired him."

Wilson was beginning to understand. "You feel guilty."

"I thought he was kidding," she said. "I thought it was just another joke meant to piss me off."

"But he was serious."

Cuddy nodded and thought for a moment. "I wasn't surprised that he had imagined us sleeping together, but when I remembered what he said, it suddenly occurred to me that it was more than just sex to him."

Wilson sighed. He felt bad for his two best friends. They'd gotten themselves in such a mess. "You need to go see him," he decided. "You need to talk to him about this."

Cuddy seemed to agree, but she also knew that she wasn't the only person who needed to stop avoiding House. "So do you."


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

As he did most days, House ate his dinner in a large cafeteria surrounded by guards and nurses. It wasn't exactly the most comfortable dining environment, but it was his only choice. As he also did most days, House ate his meal alone. He felt rather discomfited and out-of-place in the cafeteria. Of course he still believed that he was mentally ill and needed help, but he certainly did not seem to share anything in common with the other patients. A large majority of his fellow patients suffered from severe illnesses such as schizophrenia or dementia, both of which House feared. He possessed a very active brain, and so dementia was extremely low on his list of possibilities (especially given his age). Schizophrenia, however, seemed plausible to him. Sure, most schizophrenics present at a much younger age, but developing the illness at his age was not unheard of. He remembered a time when schizophrenics interested him immensely, but now he feared them. He wasn't afraid of them as people per say, but he was afraid to see what he might become. He didn't feel schizophrenic. He didn't feel insane at all, and it was for this reason that he felt uncomfortable dining with the other patients. He felt nothing like them. Then again, he had always wondered if insane people knew whether or not they were insane. It seemed unlikely. So perhaps he was already one of these people and was consequently unable to recognize that he was in fact like them.

Suddenly, though, House sensed that he was no longer alone. He turned to his side to see that Amber had joined him at the table.

"They're interesting, aren't they?" she asked as she studied a table full of other patients. "Do you think they're friends?"

"Why does that matter?" House asked.

Amber shrugged. "Do you think they're aware that their friends are insane?"

House remained silent, and he began to study them as well.

"Because," continued Amber, "if they don't, then they must be insane too."

"They're all insane," noted House. "Why do you think they're here?"

"You're here, too," observed Amber. "You know they're insane?"

"Of course I do." He was confident in his answer.

"Then maybe you're not insane," she suggested.

House felt hopeful for a moment before he found the flaw in her logic. "But what if they realize that their friends are insane? What if insane people just don't know that they're insane, but they can see it in others?"

Amber considered this notion for a moment. "Maybe they're friends because they can empathize with each other."

"Why does it matter if they're friends?"

Amber laughed. "You certainly couldn't empathize with any of them."

"Why not?"

"Are you kidding?" Amber chuckled at the absurd idea that House could empathize with another human being. "Maybe you _are_ insane."

"That's not what I mean." Amber's penetrating stare seemed to encourage his thoughts. "Maybe I can't empathize with them because I don't share the same issues as them."

"So they do realize that their friends are insane," concluded Amber. "If they empathize with each other, they must recognize similarities in their conditions."

"And," added House, "if they recognize those similarities and acknowledge the fact that their friends are insane, then logically, they must realize that they're insane too."

Amber and House sat in silence for a brief moment, both deep in thought.

"The only problem with that logic," stated Amber, "is that it's based on the premise that insane people are logical."

"I'm logical," asserted House in the hopes that it meant that he wasn't insane. After all, had he not just proved that with his logical conclusion of the mental awareness of insane people?

"I'm sure they think so too."

House heaved an annoyed sigh. "So what you're telling me is there's absolutely no way to tell whether or not I'm insane."

"I'm telling you that there's no way you can figure this out on your own."

House rolled his eyes. "I know you're not real. Doesn't that mean I'm logical? Doesn't that mean I'm aware of the reality? Schizophrenics aren't aware that the voices they hear aren't real."

"That is true," agreed Amber. "You didn't realize that your night with Cuddy wasn't real though."

House remembered his delusion. "I figured it out though. I looked at the situation logically and decided that it couldn't have happened."

Amber shrugged. "Maybe you're not losing it," she claimed. "After all, look how you solved that case. Surely you couldn't have done that without logic on your side."

House nodded in agreement.

"Then again," said Amber, "how would I know?" She reemphasized the fact that the truly insane person would be incapable of recognizing his or her own insanity. It was quite the troublesome paradox: insane people were incapable of identifying their own insanity, and yet if one were to recognize his or her own insanity, then he or she must not be insane. But then why would that person think that he or she were crazy?

"Wait," started House. A thought had occurred to him. "Insane people don't know they're insane."

"Okay…."

"I think I'm insane, therefore I'm not really insane."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Yes it does," insisted House. "It just means that I think I'm insane, but I'm not really."

"So stop thinking you're insane."

"How can I? I'm hallucinating and having delusions."

"You haven't had a delusion since your night with Cuddy," claimed Amber. "Or lack thereof I should say." She laughed. "How can you possibly know that you haven't been having any other delusions?"

"Because I _know_ I'm crazy."

"What if Cameron didn't really visit you?"

"That's not possible," said House as he began to contemplate the thought. "No, I was on the phone with Chase."

"He was confused," asserted Amber. "That would suggest that there was no premise for her to be here."

House frowned. Was it possible that he'd been having other delusions that he was unaware of?

"I told you," said Amber. "You can't figure this out on your own."

Thankfully, he wouldn't have to. A nurse had just escorted Wilson into the cafeteria and pointed in House's direction. Wilson seemed to be thanking her before he made his way toward House. It had been about three weeks, and Wilson was finally visiting.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" House asked casually as he ate a spoonful of applesauce. "Or should I say displeasure?"

Wilson rolled his eyes. He was the same old House, and for that, he was actually glad. "Your psychiatrist called me."

_Of course she did_, thought House contemptuously. He waited for more information.

"She seemed to think that after your little session with Cameron it would be a good idea for me to come in."

House smiled to himself. Cameron _had_ visited him. He knew it.

"What are you so happy about?" asked Wilson.

House finally realized that he was smiling and turned his expression back to mock-disdain. "She invited you to a session, didn't she?"

Wilson nodded. "Well, me _and_ Cuddy actually."

"Oh god," moaned Amber. "That's exactly what we need: to be lectured by our best friends _and_ our psychiatrist. No thank you."

Wilson could see the discontent in House's eyes. "You don't want us to come, do you?"

House didn't reply, so Wilson took that as a yes.

"Fine," he agreed. "But just so you know, Cuddy will still probably want to visit you."

"Fine," muttered Amber. "As long as we don't have to sit and talk with them while Ruby's noting our every word."

"Fine," agreed House. He desperately wanted to change the subject. "So after three weeks, you just thought you'd stop by?"

Amber snorted. "Like you aren't glad he did."

Wilson frowned and finally took a seat at the table across from House. "Listen, I was—"

"It's alright," interrupted House. "I get it."

"No you don't."

"I don't blame you," he said. "Really, I mean, after having to deal with your brother and all…" He let his voice trail off, not sure if Wilson had refrained from visiting because he was afraid of the similarities between House and his brother or because he'd been preoccupied with his brother. Either way, he knew it had something to do with Danny Wilson.

Wilson shouldn't have been surprised that House was able to deduce that his inner conflict had something to do with Danny. "I'm sorry," he apologized as he rested his head on his hand. It was almost as if he was hiding his face in shame.

"Don't be," replied House lightly and honestly. "You were afraid. I told you, I got it."

Wilson chuckled lightly and nodded. He was definitely the same House.

"So I take it you've gone back to visit him."

Wilson nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I'd still like you to meet him when you get out."

"That's cute," said Amber. "He thinks we're going to be released soon."

House ducked his head to hide the smile that had spread across his face. Wilson's optimism and faith in House's recovery actually seemed to make him feel better. He looked back up and observed a plastic bag that Wilson had brought along.

"What's in the bag?" asked Amber, truly curious to see its contents.

House wasn't surprised really; Wilson always brought him gifts in these situations. "What's in the bag?"

Wilson finally remembered the bag that he'd brought with him. "It's not a gift if that's what you were thinking."

House grabbed the bag and found a small assortment of snacks inside. "It looks like a gift."

Wilson's eyebrows wrinkled, and he grabbed the bag. "Oh," he commented. "Those were for the drive over here." He grabbed a bag of chips and started eating them.

House stared at him skeptically. "Right, that's why you haven't even opened them yet."

House grabbed a bag of chips for himself, thankful that he would be able to eat something other than hospital food for once. "What, no vicodin?" he asked half jokingly.

Wilson didn't see it as a joke, though. "Ruby says your detox is coming along well."

House nodded but didn't really answer.

"You aren't answering me," observed Wilson. He thought about the possible implications for a moment. Shock suddenly spread across his face. "You haven't been cheating, have you?"

House rolled his eyes. Of course he would suspect that. "No, _Mom_."

"Then why didn't you answer me?"

"Because you didn't ask a question," explained House. "You said it was going well, and I nodded. What's the problem?"

Wilson led it slide, content enough that House didn't seem as distressed as he had three weeks ago when he dropped him off.

House began to inspect the contents of the bag once more, this time finding more than just snacks. "What are these?" he asked as he pulled out several envelopes.

"Your mail," he responded.

House looked at him curiously.

"I thought they automatically gave patients their mail here," noted Amber.

Then House looked carefully at the addresses on the envelopes. They had his home address on them. "You got these from my apartment."

Wilson nodded. "I took the liberty of taking all of the bills out and paying them for you."

_Of course you did_, thought House.

"Wow," said Amber. "He must really think we'll be getting out soon if he's willing to take care of our apartment and pay our bills."

_Or it just comforts him to think so_, thought House. He'd come to learn that talking out loud was not necessary to convey messages to Amber. He thanked Wilson nonchalantly for taking care of his place as he flipped through the various envelopes. Most of it turned out to be junk that Wilson was unsure of throwing away, but he did come across one interesting letter. He looked at it curiously.

"What's that?" asked Wilson, still munching on his chips.

House noted the return address before opening the letter. "It's a wedding invitation."

Wilson was confused. "To Cameron and Chase's wedding?" He would have thought that House would have received and disposed of that before being admitted into the hospital.

House shook his head and a smirk spread across his face.

"Who else would invite _you_ to a wedding?" he asked.

Instead of answering, House just showed the letter to Wilson, whose eyes widened at the sight of it.

"Your mom's getting remarried?" he asked. "Already?"

"Apparently so," he replied without much emotion.

"Why did you smile when you saw that?" Wilson inquired. "Do you know the guy?"

"First of all, I didn't smile, I smirked," he retorted. "And yes, I do."

Wilson was surprised once more. "Who is he?"

"An old friend of the family," replied House, using the exact same word choice that he had the last time he had discussed the man with Wilson.

Wilson thought nothing of the response for a moment, but then the words suddenly clicked in his head. "No," he said. "Not—" House's silence and indifference was answer enough. "She's marrying your dad?"

"My real dad," stated House, still without much emotional involvement.

"This is incredible," noted Wilson. "Do you want to go?"

"He _really_ thinks we'll be out in time?" asked Amber. "The wedding's at the beginning of next April."

"Why would I?" House asked. He tossed the letter in the junk pile with the rest of his mail.

Before Wilson could respond, though, a woman tapped him on the shoulder. "You must be Dr. Wilson," she stated.

Wilson stood up to shake hands with the woman. "Ruby?" he guessed.

She smiled politely and nodded. "It was so nice of you to come," she commented. "Could we have a word?"

"Of course," replied Wilson, but before he left, he turned to House and grabbed the wedding invitation to prevent it from being thrown away with the other letters (of course House noticed this, but he said nothing). "I guess I'll talk to you later," he said to House.

House nodded a farewell as he continued to scavenge through the plastic bag of goodies.

Ruby walked with Wilson toward the door blocked by security guards. She presented her badge and was allowed to pass. "Have you thought about my invitation?"

"Yeah," said Wilson. "He doesn't want us to come."

"You don't have to listen to him," she declared. "This is your choice, not his."

Wilson thought about it for a moment. "I'm not really sure it will help him. Knowing him, having me and Cuddy there will only make matters worse. He'll refuse to speak, and he'll probably lose his trust in you, especially now that he's said no to us coming."

Ruby nodded in understanding. "Maybe he doesn't want you two to attend a session, but I still think that it's good for him to have visitors. Every patient needs to know that they're not in this alone."

Wilson also nodded his understanding. "Trust me, he's not alone." He thought for a moment. "Have you gotten any closer to a diagnosis yet?"

"He won't tell me anything," she admitted, "but I still think that schizophrenia is a valid and plausible diagnosis."

Wilson shook his head immediately, unsure if he was denying the truth out of fear or out of honest disbelief. "House isn't schizophrenic."

"Dr. Wilson," Ruby tried to comfort him, "I know that this isn't a pleasant diagnosis to hear, but we can—"

Wilson shook his head again. "Trust me," he said. "I know he's not schizophrenic."

"You can't possibly—"

"I know," he interrupted once more. "My brother's schizophrenic."

Ruby studied the man before her. "So this has nothing to do with you subconsciously wanting to believe that your best friend is not mentally ill because you're afraid that he'll wind up like your brother?"

_God I hate psychiatrists_, thought Wilson. "No," he lied. "It must be something else."

Ruby finally relented but didn't dismiss her diagnosis. "It very well could be, but until I get him to tell me what's wrong, I can't know for sure."


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It was a few days later in their next session that Ruby had informed House of her diagnosis.

"I'm not schizophrenic," he decided with complete and utter confidence in his own diagnosis. Unfortunately, though, "not schizophrenia" was not a diagnosis that Ruby could add to his medical history.

"I know this must be hard for you to hear, but—"

"Did you talk to Wilson about this?"

She refrained from answering his question, though. "Your symptoms suggest schizophrenia: delusions, hallucinations, functional disturbances at work, disorganized behavior—"

House sat up after he'd been lying on the couch since the beginning of their session. "What was that last one?"

"Disorganized behavior."

"Like what?" He really didn't seem to believe her.

She appeared incredulous at his disbelief. "Your thoughts are constantly jumping around. I say one thing, and you think of another. Just look at that meeting we had with Dr. Cameron. She was talking about your attraction to her—"

"I'm not attracted to her," interrupted House, although it didn't really serve to prove his point.

Ruby ignored his comment. "—and you come up with a diagnosis of a pituitary gland tumor. That's not exactly linear thinking."

House snorted and rolled his eyes. "So my ingenuity is a symptom of schizophrenia?"

She didn't respond, but her answer was obviously a yes.

House shook his head. "It's not a symptom. I've always been like that."

"Which only suggests further that you have schizophrenia," she claimed. "You see? You _did_ present at a younger age. Maybe your age isn't inconsistent with the diagnosis at all. Besides, loosening of associations is a classic symptom of schizophrenia, and so are autistic thoughts."

House shook his head once more. "Most people develop schizophrenia in their teens or early twenties."

She almost laughed. "You're trying to say you were like this before you were a teenager?"

House glared at her, almost insulted. "Yes, I was," he said mock-proudly.

Ruby ignored his obvious attempt at disproving her, though. "I'd like to start you on risperidone."

"Risperidone?" asked Amber. "There's no way we're taking anti-psychotics."

House looked at her and seemed to agree. "I'm not taking anti-psychotics."

Ruby sighed in frustration. "These could help you! Don't you get that?"

House shook his head, still in denial.

Amber almost gasped. "We're not crazy!" she shouted.

House agreed with her until he realized what she had said. Was it true? Did he really not believe that he was mentally ill? In that case, maybe he was. Maybe he really had lost the ability to distinguish the reality of the issue. Maybe he was crazy after all.

Ruby studied him. "You're hallucinating again, aren't you?"

House returned his attention to her. "Not at all," he lied.

She saw right through him. "You're lying," she said.

House stared at the floor. He knew there was something wrong with him, but he just couldn't believe that he was truly psychotic. What did that mean? Did that mean that he was sane or insane? "I'm not crazy," he muttered.

Ruby knew that compassion and empathy were not the ways to convince him of his diagnosis, though. "Spoken like a true crazy person."

This comment piqued House's attention for some reason. If he was going to prove Ruby's diagnosis wrong, he would need medical fact on his side. "You can't make a diagnosis of schizophrenia before ruling out other mood disorders with psychotic symptoms, substance abuse, and any other possible physical disorder resulting in psychotic episodes."

"I think you left out delusion disorders," she informed him. She paused for a moment. "Or were you just too afraid that you might have one?"

"The symptoms don't fit," claimed House.

"Right," she stated sarcastically. "You have no exaggerated sense of self-worth."

"I don't think I'm _God_," he replied even though often times he and his colleagues had made the comparison. Those were only jokes, though, right?

Ruby rolled her eyes, obviously seeing through his rationalizations. "Fine," she forfeited. "You're right."

"Damn straight," replied Amber.

House still wasn't sure he'd won though.

"We'll do this your way," she said. "We'll rule out the other possibilities first."

House nodded, almost in agreement to cooperate.

"If you want to clear yourself of this schizophrenia diagnosis, then we have to consider other mood disorders, substance abuse, or physical disorders."

She reached into his medical file and pulled out the results of an MRI that had been taken of his brain upon admittance into the hospital. "Your brain was clean. That pretty much rules out any physical disorder." Thankfully, House had sustained no lasting damage from the bus accident, the deep-brain stimulation, or the bleed from cracking his skull open while seizing during the deep-brain stimulation.

"Many schizophrenics have smaller frontal lobes, larger third ventricles, or other brain abnormalities," noted House in an attempt to disprove her original diagnosis.

Ruby ignored his comment. "Can we move on?"

"Fine," he agreed. "Let's go with substance abuse." He paused for a moment, pretending to think about the possibility. "I think we may have found our diagnosis. Can I go home, now?"

"Your detox has been coming along nicely," she admitted, "but if your problem was a result of substance abuse alone, you would be recovering by now. You're still hallucinating."

"Withdrawal symptoms," he claimed.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Fine," she agreed. "In that case, we'll have to monitor you until you've completely detoxed. Let's move on to mood disorders then, shall we?"

"No mood disorders," replied House.

"Oh yeah," Ruby retorted sardonically. "You seem happy, happy, happy."

"Only because we're being forced to talk to her," joked Amber.

Ruby could see House's eyes drifting slightly, and she concluded that he was hallucinating at that very moment. "Who do you see?"

House looked at her, not quite sure what she was asking.

"Your hallucinations," specified Ruby. "Who do you hallucinate?"

"Why does that matter?" House asked.

"Depending on who you're hallucinating," she began, "it could lead to a diagnosis of a mood or anxiety disorder."

House contemplated her reasoning, knowing full well what she was implying. "I don't have PTSD."

"Then you'll have no problem telling me who you're hallucinating." Secretly, she had already been informed by Wilson of the subject of House's hallucinations; she just wanted him to admit it.

"Just tell her," ordered Amber. "Maybe it'll convince her that you don't have schizophrenia."

House considered Amber's rationale before finally admitting that he had been hallucinating a girl named Amber who happened to be his best friend's dead girlfriend.

Ruby nodded. "And that's all?"

"What do you mean 'that's all'?"

"I mean is she the only person you've ever hallucinated?"

For some reason, House briefly thought about the time that he had hallucinated all of his colleagues—namely Cameron—after being shot, but he had a feeling that the two events were unrelated. "Why would you think I've hallucinated anyone else?"

Wilson, who had found this bit of information out from Cuddy, had also disclosed to Ruby the fact that House had hallucinated Kutner the day after his delusion. "Is she the only dead person you see?" asked Ruby. She wasn't being very subtle anymore, now was she?

"Cuddy told you."

Ruby shook her head. "Wilson told me."

"Well, then you don't need me to tell you."

"That's where you're wrong," she said. "If you can't tell me, then there's no way for me to conceive how much else you're hiding. You need to talk about this, or else we'll never get a diagnosis."

"What else is there to talk about?" House asked. "You already know everything now."

"She doesn't know about the nightmares," noted Amber.

_Those are irrelevant_, thought House with a subtle glance toward his hallucination.

"Okay," Ruby relented. "In that case, I would say that PTSD is a possibility. Then again, I can't make a definitive diagnosis unless you talk to me about Amber and Kutner."

"Oh come on," pressured Amber. "If you tell her about the nightmares, that'll only confirm a PTSD diagnosis. That's way better than schizophrenia!"

House shook his head, and Ruby was unsure if he was responding to her comment or something that Amber had said. "Is there anything else?" She gave him the opportunity to come clean about the troublesome dreams.

House finally mentioned the nightmares under his breath. Ruby could still hear him though. "Fine," she said. "Maybe you were right about the schizophrenia. Maybe it is PTSD."

"PTSD did not cause my hallucinations," insisted House. "It didn't cause delusions."

Ruby was confused. "I'm sorry; did you _want_ to be schizophrenic?"

House wondered why he'd even made the claim.

"Besides," she commented, "I'm the psychiatrist here, not you."

"Well I'm the diagnostician," he claimed. "Some would say that makes me better at diagnoses."

"It could be a mixture of the vicodin abuse and the PTSD," she claimed. But then, Ruby finally realized why he didn't want a PTSD diagnosis either. "You don't want it to be PTSD because you know the treatment is psychotherapy." She smirked. "I suppose I could prescribe some antidepressants too if that would make you feel better."

House didn't want antidepressants either, though; they made him hazy. He'd learned that from Wilson. "If psychotherapy is the cure," he started, "then the diagnosis is wrong. I get psychotherapy from Wilson every day."

Ruby laughed, finally glad to see him mention another person's name. "You two seem to be good friends."

"Nice try," said Amber. "She's trying to get us to open up."

House tried to ignore Amber, though. Maybe if Ruby was right—if this was just caused by PTSD and his vicodin—he would eventually be cured. "Fine," he yielded. "What do I have to say that will convince you that it's just PTSD and that I'm fine?"

"Did you feel guilty when your friend's girlfriend died?" she asked. Wilson had already informed her of the details of the event. She knew how and why Amber had died.

"No way," said Amber quickly, though House could tell that it was simply a rationalization that he'd been pitching to himself for the last year or so.

Ruby noted House's hesitation and pushed him further. "She wouldn't have been on the bus if it weren't for you."

House was shocked about how much she already knew of the occasion. "I didn't ask her to come," he replied, repeating his own rationalizations. He seemed to be aware of his own guilt, though.

Ruby could sense that House was finally confronting how he felt about her death despite his statements of denial. She didn't need him to say it; all she needed to know was that he was aware of his own guilt. "What about Kutner?" she asked, referring to the other dead colleague that Wilson had informed her of.

"What about him?"

"Do you feel guilty for his death?" she asked. "Do you wish he were still alive?"

"Of course I wish he were still alive," replied House incredulously. "What kind of a question is that? Did you expect me to say that I'm glad he's dead?"

Ruby smirked. "No, I just expect you to realize that he made an impact on your life, and you valued his presence."

House thought about that notion briefly before Ruby repeated her first question.

"Do you feel guilty?"

"I couldn't have known he would commit suicide."

"Maybe not," she said, "but how could you know that it wasn't your fault? You don't think that having such a mean boss would impact a person?"

House rolled his eyes. "Are you trying to tell me that I need to treat my employees better?"

Amber shook her head. "Kutner liked you," she said. "He thought you were interesting."

House had to agree. Out of all of his employees, Kutner surely appreciated his diagnostic style the most.

"I'm just trying to tell you that maybe you should be more aware of the influence that you have in other people's lives," she said. "If you want to keep being an arrogant, selfish son-of-a-bitch, then by all means, go ahead, but you have to also take responsibility for your actions. You have to know that if you act like that, people probably won't like it."

"I already know that."

Ruby shook her head. "I don't think you do. If you did, you wouldn't feel so guilty about Kutner's death. You can treat your employees—your friends, too, for that matter—however you want to, but you can't be surprised when they do something like commit suicide."

"It wasn't my fault that he killed himself." House really believed it too.

"Maybe not," she agreed, "but obviously a small part of your thinks that you may have been at least somewhat responsible. Otherwise, you wouldn't be having nightmares about him. You wouldn't be hallucinating him. Honestly, these hallucinations and nightmares you've been having should somehow demonstrate the impact that one person can have on another's life."

House considered this insight. He hated to admit it, but maybe she was right about Kutner and Amber.

Ruby smiled at House. She was glad that PTSD was becoming a much more viable diagnosis than schizophrenia, and she felt like maybe she could really help him. It was rare in a psychiatrist's career to actually cure a patient. Usually her job entailed more lifelong support and direction than actual solutions. "Your friend Wilson will be glad to know that you aren't schizophrenic."

"Hell," said Amber, "_I'm_ glad to know we're not schizophrenic."

"Wilson's only upset because of his brother," claimed House. "If it weren't for him, he probably would have been able to handle a schizophrenia diagnosis."

Ruby nodded. "Yeah, he told me about his brother's condition."

House went on to briefly explain Wilson's sense of guilt over his brother's illness and how he would have felt if his best friend were to also develop it.

"It makes sense," replied Ruby. She paused for a moment, considering a thought that had popped into her head. "Maybe you can help him."

House regarded her inquisitively.

"Once you get out of here," she said, "maybe your experiences can help Wilson cope with his brother's illness. Maybe you can give him hope by showing how you've overcome your own mental illness."

"Nothing's going to cure his brother," decided House.

"I know that," she replied. "I'm sure he knows that too, but he also wants to know that maybe someday his brother can lead a functioning life again."

House nodded in agreement but didn't really respond.

Ruby looked at her watch. "I think our time's up," she said, happy for the first time that they had actually accomplished something great in their session.

That night, Wilson paid his brother Danny another visit in New York City. They chatted about general topics, but nothing of much consequence. They still felt like strangers, but Wilson could feel himself becoming more and more attached to his little brother by the day. When he was prepared to leave, the nurse who he had been dating for a few months confronted him.

"Hey," she said with a small smile. "You want to go grab some dinner? I found this great Italian restaurant down the street."

Wilson returned her smile but was obviously not in the same high spirits as she was. "I don't think I'm in the mood tonight."

She frowned. "Is something wrong?"

Wilson informed her for the first time of House's admittance into Mayfield and how it was affecting him. She could see the obvious connection to Danny.

"I'm so sorry," she said and gave him a hug.

"Me too," replied Wilson as he continued to talk to her about the stress that he was currently enduring between work and House and Danny. She comforted him through the entire conversation and wasn't very surprised when he told her that he needed to end their relationship because he couldn't handle it at the moment. She sympathized with him and understood. She hugged him goodbye and said that she would see him next time he visited. Wilson thanked her for her compassion and her friendship before leaving with a feeling deep down in his stomach that maybe somebody else—not House or Danny—had been his reason for ending the relationship.


	14. Chapter 13

Author's Note: I've seen in a few reviews that people are looking for more House/Cameron, and I just want to reinforce that in Part I (if you noticed, I labeled a part, not just chapters), I'm trying to resolve the House/Cuddy and Cameron/Chase relationships as well as House's mental illness. I like to follow the general plot of the show, so I didn't want to just leave those out. This story line seemed like the best way to do that. In Part II, we will see a dramatic shift towards the House/Cameron relationship, and that part will end with a big development. So far, I have 75 well-developed chapters planned out for this story, so don't think I won't include plenty of House/Cameron once these story lines are resolved. And, as was also a worry, I would just like to make it known that this story will NOT end up being a dream as I did in my last trilogy, and I will not in any way cheat readers out (to be honest, that was really more of a joke on my close friends than me trying to be mean). I assure you that everything that happens in this fiction is real (except for the occasional dream, but that will be apparent in individual chapters). So, just bear with me, guys. I really appreciate the patience. Chapter 17 will be the last chapter in Part I, and Chapter 18 will start the major House/Cameron developments. The rest of Part I is primarily dedicated to House's recovery and the resolution of the House/Cuddy relationship, and there is a little bit of Chase/Cameron towards the end as well. Thanks again to all of my readers. I really value your input, so let me know how you feel about this story, and leave me some comments!

Chapter 13

Several days after his visit with Wilson, House sat alone in his room with nothing more than his own thoughts—his own thoughts being Amber. Together they discussed the new developments that he had made with Ruby in his last session. As it turns out, Ruby withdrew her diagnosis of schizophrenia completely after finally hearing what House had to say of his vicodin habits, the deaths of Amber and Kutner, and his relationship with Wilson. She instead diagnosed him with PTSD and substance addiction. House's detox was nearly complete, and it wouldn't be long before he'd completely switched pain medications from vicodin to gabapentin, which would hopefully help with his nerve pain. He had a feeling that it wouldn't do much, but he also hoped that it would. He hoped that maybe one day he could function, though still in pain, and not have to worry about his addiction. He hoped that one day, this entire fiasco would be over and he could return to his normal life.

Nonetheless, despite all of these promising developments in his therapy, House couldn't help but feel some sense of despair. After all, he had finally confronted his issues, and yet Amber still haunted him. His nightmares were slowly subsiding and the pain in his leg was becoming tolerable despite the vicodin withdrawal, and yet he continued to hallucinate. He couldn't help but wonder why. Were there other issues that he wasn't aware of?

It suddenly occurred to House that his one (and thankfully only) delusion had involved him and Cuddy. In this delusion, Cuddy had helped him to finally detox, and then together they celebrated with a night of passion. Well, he had solved the obvious vicodin problem, so the only other possibility was that he still harbored some unresolved issue with Cuddy. Perhaps it was true that he was in love with her. Maybe he really did want to her to move in with him. Or maybe he just wanted to be happy, and he thought that she might be able to do that. He thought that maybe Cuddy could end his loneliness and bring much needed joy into his life, but he was wrong. In the end, she had only left him to his misery while she tended to her own daughter. And it was because of that disappointing event that he was beginning to feel even lonelier than he had before, as if he had missed his last chance at happiness. He considered the notion that perhaps that was why Amber had appeared to him: to make him aware of his own misery and loneliness in the hopes that maybe he could do something to end them. And maybe Amber remained with him still because he had done little to overcome that feat. If that was the case, though, he wasn't quite sure how to make Amber disappear. After all, he'd missed his chance with Cuddy, and now he remained clueless as to how he could possibly go about achieving true pleasure in life.

A glimmer of hope sparked in his heart, though, when the subject of his thoughts entered his room. She smiled at the sight of him, almost in relief that he seemed okay, and she took a seat in the armchair next to his bed.

"How are you doing?" was her first question.

House responded with a vague, "Fine," but she could sense that something was troubling him.

She had come here not only to console and comfort him, but also to confront him about the tension that now threatened their friendship. Her hopeful smile diminished, and she was left with an expression of either concern or guilt, or maybe both. "We need to talk," she stated.

House nodded, clearly aware of what she was about to say.

"I just wanted to apologize," she said. "I shouldn't have laughed at you or fired you." She paused momentarily. "I shouldn't have left you that night."

House shook his head. He knew that it was his fault—really, he did. He shouldn't have expected her help after saying such a mean thing about the one person that she cared about most in the world, her daughter. But he was in pain, and he couldn't help himself. On the other hand, the next day had brought delirious relief to his pain, both psychic and physical, and he had jumped to the conclusion that he loved her because of it. He shouldn't have. Honestly, he was only setting himself up for pain. But then again, how was he ever supposed to experience true happiness or love if he didn't risk such an embarrassment?

"Aren't you going to say something?" asked Cuddy.

House finally realized that he'd been dwelling in his own thoughts rather than conversing with her. "Why are you here?"

"I came here to apologize," she repeated before pausing for a moment. "And I came here to ask you… to ask you why you asked me that question." It felt too awkward for her to state out loud the nature of House's invitation.

House remained silent, not really sure of what to say. Should he tell her that he was delirious? She already knew that. Should he tell her that he would take it back if he could? She probably already knew that, too. But then what was she looking to hear from him?

"Did you mean it?"

Did he mean what? Did he actually intend for her to move in with him? "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she began, "did you really want me to move in with you?" She already knew the answer, though.

House shrugged. "I was out of my mind," he said simply, not really answering her question, although she assumed that it was a yes.

"What about now?" she asked in return. "Are you out of your mind right now?"

House thought about her question before finally responding in the negative.

"Good," she smiled with a single nod, and he smiled back.

"I don't want you to move in with me," he claimed. "I shouldn't have asked you to."

"To be fair, you were running on false pretenses." She chuckled, although the situation really wasn't that comical. She wasn't sure how to end the tension between them. She knew that he was under the delusion that they had slept together at the time, but she could only wonder why he would have imagined such a thing. Perhaps she should provide him with the opportunity to make things right or to admit his real feelings. She suspected that he would deny any feelings for her, but she felt that she ought to give him the chance anyways. "Is there anything you wanted to say?" she asked.

He knew what she was doing. She was giving him the chance to come clean about his feelings for her. He could already tell what answer she was hoping for, and so he gave it to her. "Nope," he said with a shake of the head. "Were you expecting me to say something?"

A feeling of relief swept over Cuddy even though she knew he was hiding some of his feelings. She would always hold some sexual desire to be with him, but he wasn't what she wanted at all. What she wanted was her daughter—a family even, someday. As much as she cherished his friendship, he couldn't offer her a family. She only hoped that he could find what he was looking for with another person. "Are we okay?" she asked.

House nodded, hoping that his response would be enough to convince her that he was fine not being with her, that he was content just having her as a friend. He would always be attracted to her, but he knew that he couldn't offer her what she wanted, and in the end, she probably couldn't offer him what he wanted either. They simply weren't meant to be.

Cuddy accepted his nod with the intention of them returning to the good friends that they once were. She truly hoped that their attraction to each other would never jeopardize their friendship—or his health—again.

Before Cuddy could thank him or respond in any way, there was a light knock on the door, and Ruby walked in. She greeted House's visitor, who she assumed was the Dr. Cuddy that both Cameron and Wilson had mentioned. "I'm sorry to interrupt," she apologized. "We have a session scheduled. You're welcome to join us, though, if you'd like."

Cuddy knew that House didn't want her to join them, though, and she was just happy that this entire ordeal between them was finally over. "No, that's alright," she replied. "I have to be getting home anyways. I told my sitter I'd be back soon." She stood up from her seat and walked toward the door. She paused for a moment and turned to House. "It was nice seeing you," she commented before leaving.

Ruby led House to her office, and once they were both seated, she asked him about his visit with Cuddy. She had been observing them for a short while and could tell that they were discussing something of real importance. Cuddy's bittersweet departure from the room led her to believe that the two had finally discussed his feelings for her.

"Are you still friends?" she inquired. Truthfully, she could have easily guessed the answer, but she wanted him to say it.

"What kind of a question is that?" asked House.

Ruby shrugged. "You didn't seem exactly happy when she left."

House thought about Ruby's observation before replying. "I'm happy," he said honestly. After all, he was happy that Cuddy could finally devote all of her loving attention to Rachel. He was happy that their friendship would go back to normal. He was even happy that their pseudo-relationship had come to a close, as odd as that sounded. She had finally given him the sense of closure that he needed. It was a definitive agreement that they could both move on with their lives and find happiness with the people who they were meant to be with, whoever they were.

"Good," stated Ruby simply. "If it's any consolation, I don't think she was the right one anyways." She chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little.

House looked at her questioningly. How could she possibly know who the right one was for him?

"From what she and Dr. Wilson have told me over the phone," she explained herself, "I think she's a little too normal for you."

"Too normal?" Normal was the last word House would use to describe Cuddy.

"You don't want a family," she observed. "You don't want the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, and it's okay to not want those things, as long as you find someone else who also doesn't want them—someone else who _does_ want the same things as you." She felt as if maybe she was pushing her boundary as his psychiatrist a little too far, but she sensed that he needed some advice or solace that he wasn't doomed to a life of loneliness after all.

House couldn't think of a single person who would want the same things as him, but something inside him thought that maybe one day he would find such a person.

"I don't think you really wanted her to move in with you," noted Ruby.

This comment piqued House's attention, and he looked at her curiously. How did she know about that?

"Dr. Wilson told me what you asked her that day," she answered his unasked question.

House rolled his eyes. Wilson could be such a blabber-mouth sometimes. "I asked her to move in with me… that kind of implies that I wanted her to live with me."

Ruby shook her head. "No, I mean I don't think you wanted _her_ to move in with you; I think you just wanted _someone_ to move in with you."

House continued to stare at her, wondering all the while if she could read his mind, and it was at that moment that he realized that Amber had refrained from interrupting his conversations with both Ruby and Cuddy. Sure, he still saw her when he looked for her, but she wasn't quite as vocal.

House's stare seemed to confirm her suspicions, but Ruby knew he would never say it out loud. So, she said it for him. "You're alone."

"Thanks for that insight."

"You don't have to be alone if you don't want to be," she commented. "I think you actually took a positive step in asking Cuddy to move in with you, although I must say that most people ask for a dinner before jumping to that step." Both House and Ruby snorted at that comment. "But hey," she shrugged, "whatever works for you." She could still see some sense of hopelessness and despair in House's eyes, though. "It's going to be okay," she stated with much confidence. She knew that he still feared a lonely life of misery, even if he was released from this hospital.

Much to House's surprise, he actually believed her.

Author's Note (again): Well, that was my attempt to end the House/Cuddy relationship and set them both up for future relationships with other people. How did I do?


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The start of July had finally arrived, thus marking a little over a month of House's psychiatric therapy in Mayfield. For the first time in what must have been at least a year, House felt genuinely satisfied with his life. He would never admit it to another person (even Wilson), but he thought that maybe taking a month off of work to recover had been good for him. He had a new outlook on life—well, not entirely new, just slightly more optimistic. He was prepared to return to work, to his apartment, and to his life. There was only one thing stopping him….

"Why are you still here?" asked House.

Amber shrugged. House hadn't heard her speak very much in several days, and yet she remained with him.

House rolled his eyes at her shrug. "'I don't know' is not a good answer," he asserted. "It's not even an answer at all."

"Maybe there isn't an answer."

"There's always an answer!" he stated in frustration. He voiced his thoughts out loud, knowing full well that he was technically the only one who could hear them. "I'm off the vicodin, I dealt with Wilson, I dealt with Cuddy, and I even dealt with your and Kutner's deaths. What more could there possibly be?"

Amber thought for a moment. "Maybe you're right."

"Since when do I consciously have the ability to make you disappear?" he asked, clearly pointing out that he must not be right as she had said. Then again, maybe his conscious mind no longer needed his subconscious to tell him what to do. "Why have you been so quiet lately?" he asked curiously, as if trying to solve yet another mystery.

"When you consciously think something, there isn't really a need for your subconscious to think it for you."

"Okay," replied House, "but that still doesn't explain why you haven't left yet."

Amber smiled. "We agreed that you had to figure out why I was here first."

House stared at her, not really understanding what she meant. After all, he had dealt with all of his issues. Didn't that mean that he had finally figured out why she was here?

"You did choose _me_," she repeated the statement that she had spoken weeks ago.

House contemplated this response. What was she trying to say? Was she trying to make him figure out why she in particular had appeared to him? He thought the answer was obvious. "I felt guilty for your death, and your death reminded me of Kutner's death." Where was the big mystery?

Amber stared right through him, her eyes seemingly penetrating his very being. "Is that the only thing I reminded you off?"

What else would she remind him of? He had only known her as an employee and as the dead girlfriend of Wilson. Unless… "Do you remind me of Wilson?"

She smiled but did not respond as if she knew the answer but couldn't put it into words.

House shook his head. "That wouldn't make sense because I already dealt with Wilson."

"Then maybe it's not Wilson I remind you off," she suggested.

"Then why did you smile when I thought it had something to do with Wilson?"

"Maybe it _does_ have something to do with Wilson."

She wasn't making any sense at all. It was Wilson, but it wasn't Wilson. "Okay," he played along, "so you don't remind me of Wilson, but you do remind me of something related to Wilson."

The smile returned to her face as a signal that he was now getting warmer in their little game of hot-or-cold.

Then it hit House. "You," he deduced. "You remind me of you."

"That seems too obvious," laughed Amber.

House shook his head; he was on to something. "You remind me of you as Wilson's girlfriend."

"I thought we'd already covered that."

House continued. "You aren't reminding me of your death, though," he said. "You're reminding me of your life."

Her smile nearly became a grin. "So I'm not here to simply remind you of your guilt over my death," she followed him. "I'm here to remind you of my relationship with Wilson."

House agreed with her, but then he wondered why he would care about her relationship with Wilson. How could it possibly relate to his life?

"Maybe I'm here to remind you of what you don't have," she helped him.

A subtle frown appeared on House's face as he suddenly realized that maybe his issues had more to do with his own loneliness and misery than they did his guilt. He realized that he was envious of what Wilson had had with Amber. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He wanted what they had shared before her death.

Amber flashed the tiniest of smiles before leaning in to House's ear as she had done on several other occasions. "Goodbye," she whispered and gave him a subtle peck on the cheek.

Her comment had taken House off-guard, and he quickly spun to face her, but when he turned around, she was gone. He heaved a sigh, whether of shock or relief, he didn't know. All he did know was that she was finally gone, and this time, he suspected that it was for good.

Ruby had been standing outside House's door for a few moments, and after seeing his expression of surprise, she knocked and entered his room. "Are you alright, Dr. House?"

House looked up at her and simply nodded.

She smiled. "You seemed surprised by something."

House shook his head. "She's gone."

"Who's gone?" After asking her question, though, the answer became apparent. "Oh, her."

House didn't respond. He just focused his attention on the floor.

Ruby took a seat in the chair next to his bed. "This is a good thing," she tried to convince him. "Why do you look so upset?"

"I'm not upset," he claimed. He wasn't upset that Amber had left him; he was more upset by the realization that he was completely alone.

"I've got more good news," she said happily in the hopes of cheering him up. "Your detox seems to be going very smoothly. Seeing as you are nearly off of the vicodin and have finally talked to me about your problems, I'm feeling more comfortable releasing you."

House looked at her questioningly. After all, it felt as if his therapy had only just begun.

"I know that there are still some problems to solve," she acknowledged, "but now that your hallucinations are gone, I don't see why you can't be treated as an out-patient. I mean, you haven't even had any delusions since you were admitted."

House didn't want to continue seeing a psychiatrist if he didn't have to. He wasn't sure how she could really help him now that he was aware of his own problems. "Does talking with Wilson count as out-patient therapy?" He smirked. "If so, I don't think I'll need your assistance anymore."

She laughed. "Unfortunately, no." She knew that he didn't wish to see her anymore. Actually, she'd had that feeling since the day they met. Perhaps after a few out-patient sessions with him, she would reassess his need for psychiatric therapy.

House understood, and he accepted the reality that being treated as an out-patient would be much better than being locked in a hospital. A troubling thought suddenly occurred to him, though. "They won't let me practice medicine while receiving psychiatric therapy."

Ruby smiled. "You have to be declared mentally able to safely treat patients by another physician, in this case a psychiatrist."

House looked at her as if to ask whether or not she would grant him that clearing.

"I suppose after a few more sessions with me, you'll probably be deemed fit to treat patients as recklessly as you did before you were ill." It was a joke meant to give him hope, and it seemed to work.

A sense of relief overwhelmed House, and he could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seemed more probable to him now than ever before that he would soon be returning to his position as a doctor, and with any luck, he might not be alone for the rest of his life. Things were looking up after all.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Two weeks and eight sessions later, House was preparing to leave Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital. He had already contacted Wilson and arranged for a ride home, and all that was left to do was pack his bag. That probably wouldn't take long, though, considering he was only allowed a few days' clothing anyways. Nonetheless, he had nothing better to do with his time now that Amber was no longer available to talk, so he started to pack his things. Shortly after he'd begun, though, there was a knock on his door. Surely Ruby wouldn't need to talk to him again, but then who else would it be? House turned around and saw not Ruby, but another blonde beauty entering his room.

Cameron flashed House a genuinely happy smile. She was unaware at the time that he would be released soon, but his healthy demeanor and the fact that he was packing a bag were two very good signs. "What's going on?"

"I'm packing a bag," he replied nonchalantly. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Cameron smirked. "I meant why are you packing a bag?"

"Well then you should have asked that," he explained.

Cameron released a small chuckle as she continued to wait for his response.

House had been focusing more on his packing than on her up until that point, and he finally dropped his things where they were and turned to face her directly. "I'm leaving tomorrow night."

Cameron nearly grinned. "Already? But it's only been a little over a month." She took a seat on his bed right next to the bag that he was packing. She peered inside and found two t-shirts and a pair of jeans. Even though he wasn't doing his own laundry at Mayfield, she could still smell him on his clothes, and she liked it.

"I still have to get out-patient treatment for a little while," he told her as if it was nothing, although he wasn't sure why he had told her. After all, it didn't really concern her. Then again, if it wasn't her business at all, then surely she wouldn't have come in the first place. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

Cameron shrugged. "I'm not allowed to come by and check on a friend?"

Cameron considered them friends? House just shrugged at her comment, not really sure how to respond to it.

"So this is really it?" she asked, still completely in disbelief at the entire situation. "I mean, your hallucinations, they're gone?"

House just nodded, really trying not to make a big deal out of it.

Cameron smiled. "And Amber? You figured out why you were hallucinating her?"

House simply nodded once more. He had a feeling that Cameron would ask him why it had been her that he saw, but in the off chance that she didn't, he didn't want to reveal anything too personal.

Cameron waited for more than a nod. "Well?"

House feigned confusion. "Well what?"

"Well, why did you hallucinate Amber?"

House swallowed before speaking again. Would it be less personal and embarrassing to reveal that he felt guilty for her and Kutner's deaths or that he felt lonely? Surely the first one. "I felt guilty for her death."

Cameron seemed confused. That seemed like too obvious of a reason. "That's it?"

"I suppose you could relate that to Kutner's death, too," he added casually, hoping that their discussion of Amber would end there.

Cameron still wasn't convinced though. "You needed over a month of psychiatric therapy to realize that you felt guilty for Amber and Kutner's deaths? Wilson could have told you that before you even came here." It truly didn't make sense to her.

House shrugged. She wasn't going to drop it, was she?

Cameron shook her head and decided that there must be more. "There's something you're not telling me."

"I'm not lying to you."

Cameron smirked. "No, you're not lying, but you aren't telling me the whole truth either. There's another reason why you saw her, isn't there?"

House sighed in frustration. "Does it matter? She's gone now."

"That's a yes."

House rolled his eyes in refusal to divulge any more information. He changed the subject to discuss her. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Cuddy let me off early today," she said. "Chase is taking me to the ballet, and she thought that I might like some extra time to get ready."

House stared at her incredulously. That was a totally false excuse, but he played along anyway. "Then why are you here?"

Cameron shrugged. "It doesn't take that long to put on a dress and apply some make-up."

"Then why did Cuddy give you the extra time off?"

"I finished my clinic hours early and put in a few overtime hours in the ER last night," she lied. She didn't want him to know that she had taken time off for the sole reason of visiting him.

House saw right through her. If that was her real reason for leaving early, then she wouldn't have lied the first time. He didn't push her any further though.

"So you get out tomorrow night?" asked Cameron, trying to change the subject back to him.

House nodded.

"Do you need a ride? Chase and I could—"

"I'm fine," replied House before she could finish. "Wilson's coming."

Cameron smiled. "I should have figured," she said and paused for a second. "Maybe I'll pay you another visit tomorrow before you leave."

House was confused. "I'm getting out tomorrow night," he said. "I'll be back to work soon. Why would you visit me then?"

Cameron smiled and looked at her watch without responding to House's question. She stood up and started backing towards the doorway, her eyes still on his. "I'd better get going," she said. "I don't want to be late for that ballet. Chase has this whole evening planned out; he'd kill me if I ruined it." She chuckled and opened the door as she bid House her farewell.

House didn't voice his farewell, though, because he was too perplexed by Cameron's sudden dismissal. Why would she come back to visit him tomorrow?

Later that night, after a scrumptious Italian dinner, Chase escorted Cameron to the ballet that he had surprised her with tickets to shortly after her session with House. The entire point of the surprise was to cheer her up after meeting with House, but that didn't seem quite necessary now that he was to be released the next day. Nonetheless, Chase still enjoyed an evening out with his lovely wife.

They entered the theater and took their seats. Both Cameron and Chase opened their programs and began to read all about the night's performance of _Swan Lake_. Cameron remembered it as the tale of a prince who pledged his love to a beautiful princess who had been transformed into a swan by an evil sorcerer, but in the end, the prince and the princess discover that only in death can they be united. She had seen the production once as a child, except it had been performed by amateur ballerinas rather than the professionals that she was about to witness. Cameron turned the page in her program to the cast listing and nearly gasped as she came across a name.

"What's wrong?" asked Chase. He studied her reaction to something that had obviously taken her off-guard.

Cameron had been so transfixed by the name that she almost didn't hear Chase speak. "Huh?" she asked and looked up at him, still in shock.

"I asked you what was wrong," he repeated.

Cameron shook her head. "Oh nothing, it's just…"

"What? What is it?"

Cameron displayed her program. "It's my sister," she said.

"Your sister?"

Cameron nodded. "I knew she was studying ballet, but I suppose it never really occurred to me that she'd make it this far. She didn't mention it last time we talked."

Chase flipped to the same page in his own program, and sure enough, the role of Princess Odette was being played by none other than Jennifer Cameron. He had met her only once before, and that was at their wedding. She had been Cameron's maid of honor. "You never told me your sister was a ballerina," he said, interested to know why he didn't know such a major fact about one of Cameron's siblings.

Cameron shrugged. "I guess it never really came up."

Before either person could say any more, though, the lights dimmed, and the curtain lifted. The pit orchestra began to play the melodious notes of Tchaikovsky as graceful ballerinas glided across the stage. The first act served to introduce Prince Siegfried and his quest to find a wife. It wasn't until the second act that Cameron recognized her 19-year-old sister as Princess Odette. She was costumed beautifully, yet simply, in a white leotard with sparkling feathers and a silvery tutu. Cameron couldn't help but remark on how gorgeous she looked. She continued to marvel at her younger sister's grace and beauty in the third act as the prince mistakenly proposed marriage to another princess who resembled Odette but was in fact the evil sorcerer's daughter, Odile. After an astonishing toss by the prince, Odile landed in his arms. She seemed distressed and almost motionless. It then became apparent that this was not part of the ballet. The dancer playing the prince laid her gently on the stage and inspected her for some causation to the problem. Medics rushed onto the stage, and even Jenny Cameron darted to the scene of the accident to examine her dear friend.

"Oh my god," remarked Cameron. "Do you think we should go down and help them?"

Chase wasn't sure what to do. "They already have medics on the stage."

Still, Cameron felt that undeniable need to help those in danger. "Come on," she said. "Let's at least go talk to Jenny."

Chase nodded and followed his wife down the aisle and toward the stage where they managed to pass security by claiming that not only were they doctors but also relatives of Jennifer Cameron (who helpfully saw them and motioned them to join her on the stage).

Chase rushed to the collapsed ballerina. "What happened?"

"I don't know," replied a medic. "It looks like a heart attack. I've got no pulse."

Chase continued CPR with one medic while the other ran to retrieve a defibrillator.

"Charging, clear!" he shouted, and as he did so, Chase and the other medic lifted their hands away from the ballerina.

Chase felt her neck. "I've got a pulse," he said.

Behind them, Cameron was consoling her little sister.

"What's going on?" asked Jenny through frightened tears. "Is Natalie going to be alright?"

"I think she had a heart attack," Cameron informed her. When she heard that Chase had found a pulse, she instructed the medics to take her to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital via ambulance. She, Chase, and Jenny would meet them there.

The medics did as they were told and carried Natalie out on a stretcher and toward an ambulance, all the while checking to see that her vitals were still alright.

Author's Note: Okay, I must say that I had this part of my story planned out before the episode "Under My Skin," so I'm sorry to have another ballerina in the story. I couldn't really take it out because it provided my way of bringing Jenny back into the story (and it serves a greater purpose later on in the story). Nonetheless, I will say that Natalie's condition will NOT be a medical mystery (so in that way, it won't be like "Under My Skin"), and she will be diagnosed in the next chapter. So, excuse the small similarity to that episode.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

With the help of the two medics, Chase rushed Natalie through the doors of the PPTH Emergency Department. True, Cameron had been running the ER for over a year now, but her sister needed her attention more than Natalie did; Chase could take care of the ill ballerina. So, Cameron informed Chase that she would take her sister to the cafeteria (after all, she must be starving after all that dancing) to get a bite to eat. It was here that Cameron and her younger sister Jenny took a seat and ate their late snack. Jenny still appeared rather distraught, so her older sister stroked her shoulder and tried her best to comfort her.

"It's going to be okay," Cameron consoled her. "They found a pulse before we even left the theater. I'm sure she'll be fine."

Jenny nodded, knowing that she could trust her sister. "She's just so young," stated Jenny. "What could have caused her to have a heart attack?"

Cameron shrugged her shoulders. Her age and physical fitness made a heart attack all the more uncommon, but she had faith that Chase would be able to diagnose her. "Chase is running some tests."

Jenny smiled and suddenly felt more relaxed with her sister. "Why do you call him Chase now that you two are married? Shouldn't you call him Robert or Rob or Robby or Bob or—"

Cameron chuckled. "I get your point. I guess I'm just more used to calling him Chase, kind of like a nickname."

"I thought he called you Allison."

"He does sometimes."

"Do you _sometimes_ call him Robert?"

Cameron laughed again, not really sure why it mattered what she called Chase. "I guess occasionally, but not that often."

Jenny shrugged and found that very odd, but what did she know? She suddenly grinned at something behind Cameron and jumped from her seat.

Cameron spun around to see that Jenny was hugging a man who appeared to be rather young, maybe only a few years older than Jenny. He had soft, almost messy, brown hair and dark brown eyes. He had a very well-pronounced jaw line, yet he was the sort of person that Cameron would identify more as "cute" than "handsome," sort of like Chase. She waited to be introduced to the man.

As if on cue, Jenny turned around and led the man to their table. They both sat down together. "Ally," she started, "this is my friend Andy." She turned to Andy. "Andy, this is my older sister Ally."

Andy nodded and shook her hand. "Oh right. Jenny told me you just got married."

Cameron nodded, wondering why Jenny had never really mentioned this man to her before. Then again, they didn't talk about much. She hadn't even known that she would be performing in the ballet when Cameron went to see it. And Jenny had identified Andy as her friend rather than boyfriend. Maybe he wasn't as important to Jenny as he looked. "Do you work with Jenny?" asked Cameron, trying to be polite and conceal the fact that her sister hadn't really mentioned him before.

Andy nodded. "I'm a violinist in the orchestra."

Cameron smiled, for some reason surprised that he was a musician.

Jenny had finished off her salad and excused herself to go to the bathroom, thus leaving Cameron alone with Andy.

"So what happened?" asked Andy. "I mean, one second we were playing and everything was fine, but then the conductor stopped us, and we saw Natalie laying on the stage."

"She had a heart attack," Cameron informed him. "They're running tests to find out why right now."

Andy's eyes widened and he settled back into his chair.

There was an awkward silence until Jenny returned to her seat and asked for a piece of gum, which Cameron happily provided her.

"I don't know why this suddenly occurred to me," said Jenny, "but did you get Sam anything for his birthday?"

Cameron's eyes widened as she remembered that she had forgotten to mail the card that she'd bought her brother. She muttered a curse under her breath.

Jenny playfully gasped. "You forgot his birthday?"

"No, I just forgot to mail the card. It's on my desk at home."

Jenny laughed. "You can mail it in the morning. I'm sure he won't really care."

"His birthday was on the fourth," noted Cameron. It was already the eighth of July. She should have mailed the card a week ago. Cameron shook her head shamefully. She'd just been so busy with work and Chase and House lately that she'd forgotten. Then again, this _was_ her brother Sam they were talking about, and she knew that he honestly wouldn't care. "How are he and Jackie?" she asked. "I haven't talked to them since the wedding." She knew that Jenny kept in better touch with her family than she did.

Jenny smiled. "They're fine, I suppose. They're still trying to get pregnant, although they aren't having much luck I don't think."

Cameron frowned and felt bad for her brother and sister-in-law. They'd been trying to have a child together since before their wedding probably. "Have they considered IVF or adoption?"

"Trust me," said Jenny, "they've tried IVF several times. Honestly, I don't think they have enough money to keep trying. I wouldn't be surprised if they moved on to adoption soon."

Cameron nodded, wondering all the while if her attempts to have a child someday would be so difficult. It seemed like all the women she was close to that were trying to have children, particularly Cuddy and Jackie, had had so much trouble conceiving. She hoped that it would be easier for her if and when she ever decided to have kids.

"So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" asked Jenny.

Cameron laughed. It was still July, and Jenny was already making plans for the holidays? "Thanksgiving is months away," she chuckled. "I have no idea. I would assume I'm just having dinner with Chase."

Jenny grinned. "We never get to see each other anymore. Maybe I could come down here for Thanksgiving."

Cameron smiled. "That would be lovely. I'm sure Chase would love the chance to get to know you some more."

Jenny turned to Andy. "Oh, and you can come too!" She was obviously already planning this dinner in her mind. "And we can invite Sam and Jackie, and maybe even Mom, too." She nearly grinned.

Cameron laughed. Her sister hadn't changed a bit. She was still the gorgeous yet childish girl that she had always known. Then again, Cameron hadn't really had a chance to get to know her sister well as a child considering she left for college when Jenny was only six. She had grown up with her brother Sam, who was only a few years older than her, for a much longer time than with Jenny. Both Sam and Cameron believed that Jenny was most likely an "uh-oh" baby because of the age difference, and yet their parents seemed to love her so dearly. She was their pride and joy. With all of her ballet classes and recitals and everything else, Cameron actually sensed that Jenny received more attention than either she or her brother ever had as children. She supposed that it was just easier for her mother to raise one child while her other two were in college than it had been for her to raise two children together. Cameron loved her mother, though, and had never really had an issue with the amount of attention that Jenny received.

Before Cameron, Jenny, and Andy could finish their discussion, Chase approached them with a medical file in hand and sat down at the table. He didn't look too happy, and everyone quickly became worried.

"Is she okay?" asked Jenny, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Cameron watched as Andy slid a comforting arm around Jenny's shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

"She's… stable," said Chase, still hesitant. Before disclosing her test results, though, he had a question for Jenny and Andy. "How well do you know Natalie?"

Jenny seemed confused. "Really well. Why? What's wrong?"

Chase handed the test results to Cameron in the hopes that maybe she had a different explanation for the heart attack; he was fairly confident in his diagnosis, though.

Cameron reviewed the blood test results and without thinking let an "Oh god" slip from her mouth.

"What's going on?" asked Andy, almost as afraid as Jenny.

Cameron turned to face Chase, and their eyes met. At that moment, Chase seemed sure that Cameron was thinking the same thing as him, and he knew that his diagnosis was unfortunately correct.

"Her blood tests suggest that she was extremely malnourished at the time of the heart attack," informed Chase.

"What does that mean?" asked Jenny. "She didn't eat well, so she had a heart attack? She's in great shape."

Chase shook his head. "Our heart beat is directed by a series of electrical impulses. When someone like Natalie is deprived of electrolytes and then exerts herself so harshly like she did while dancing, well, the heart can give out."

Jenny frowned. "What's wrong with her? Is she going to be okay?"

"She's okay for now," said Chase, "but to be honest with you, she just got lucky."

"What do you mean?" Jenny was pushing for an explanation.

Chase hesitated once more. "Were you aware that your friend is bulimic?"

Both Jenny's and Andy's stomachs flipped at the news. Neither one gave a direct response to Chase's question though.

"What do we do now?" asked Andy.

"I'm keeping her on IV fluids for now," said Chase. "We need to get her electrolytes up before she can be released."

"What about after she's released?" questioned Andy. "How can we prevent this from happening again?"

Chase sighed. "She's going to need to see a psychiatrist so she can get her eating disorder under control."

Jenny and Andy both nodded, but Jenny seemed on the verge of losing all control. Tears slid down her cheeks, and she excused herself from the table. Andy quickly followed her in the hopes that he could comfort her.

Once both Jenny and Andy had left the table, Chase and Cameron heaved a simultaneous sigh, both shocked at the developments of the night and relieved to be past that moment.

"This is unbelievable," noted Cameron, and Chase just nodded in return. Giving her sister's friend a diagnosis of bulimia was not something that Cameron had expected to do tonight.

Chase slid his arm around Cameron's shoulders and pulled her into his chest. He wanted to make her feel better, so he changed the subject. "I managed to book those reservations for dinner tomorrow like I told you about."

Cameron remembered him mentioning dinner reservations at a new restaurant that had recently opened up.

"They only had an opening for five o'clock," he said, hoping that it wasn't too early for her. Knowing her, though, she probably wouldn't care.

"I don't think I'll be able to make it," she replied.

Chase was confused. "You told me you wanted to go try that place out once they opened."

"I know," said Cameron with a nod. "It's just, I already promised House that I would go and visit him tomorrow."

"I thought you said he was getting out tomorrow night, though."

Cameron nodded. "Wilson told me he was going to pick him up after work around eight."

"So you figured you'd stop by and visit him beforehand even though he'll probably be back to work soon?" Chase was becoming increasingly frustrated.

"I didn't know that he would be released until I saw him earlier today," she commented. "I'd already made the plans and told Cuddy I'd be leaving early for the day."

"Well good," replied Chase. "Now you can just leave early and come to dinner with me."

Cameron tilted her head at him as if to say that it wasn't going to happen. "I already told him I'd be there." It was a lame excuse, and even she seemed to know it.

Chase rolled his eyes and stood up from the table. "Whatever," he said bitterly as he walked away. "I'm going to go check on Natalie." He really didn't understand Cameron sometimes. At first, he recognized that maybe Cameron just wanted to see House because she thought that she could help him. It certainly seemed like something that Cameron would do—for anybody, too, not just House. But then what help would it be for her to visit him the afternoon before he's released? Was she that desperate to see him again? Did she really prefer House's company to his? He'd exercised a lot of lenience when it came to House and Cameron, and he really was trying to be a supportive husband, but he wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle.

Chase returned to his patient only to be informed via a text message that Cameron was getting a ride home with Jenny and Andy, and she would see him there. Chase frowned when he realized that Cameron didn't want to wait for him to finish up with the patient.

In reality, though, Cameron had decided to return home because she figured that Chase needed some time to cool off after their little argument. She wasn't quite sure why she was insisting on visiting House the next day, but something deep down told her that it was the right thing to do. And so, she fell asleep and imagined graceful ballerinas in her mind. She drifted off into dreams of swans and sorcerers and princes who proclaimed love to the wrong princesses.


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The next day, House lay lazily on his bed waiting for something of interest to happen. He had already packed all of his things the day before in a rush of excitement, and now he was left with nothing to pass the time as he waited for Wilson's arrival later that night. He picked up the plastic bag of snacks that Wilson had brought him, and he began to munch on the last of his chips. He suddenly wished that he hadn't thrown out all of that junk mail because it would have given him something to read, but nevertheless, he likely would have found that just as boring an activity. He stared at the blank, white wall across from his bed and suddenly yearned for whiteboard markers to write on it. Of course, he would probably be fined for damaging hospital property, but what did he care? He had enough money to pay the fine, and at this point, he was willing to pay anything just to find something worthwhile to do. He closed his eyes and imagined his piano waiting for him at home. He remembered his Playstation and his iPod and his television set and everything else that he loved. Oh, what he would give to have them at that very moment. The anticipation was killing him, and he knew that it would make his return even greater, but he didn't really care about how wonderful it would be to be home; all he cared about was that he would return home. It had never really occurred to him until quite recently just how much he took his life for granted. He was a lazy employee, and yet he couldn't imagine his life without his job at PPTH. He had even taken his personal life for granted. He had two wonderful friends in Wilson and Cuddy, and even more friends in Foreman, Chase, and Cameron. He wouldn't consider Taub or Hadley his friends quite yet, but they were still important to him. He wondered how he had even managed to spend the last ten or so years all alone. His best friend often told him that he wasn't alone; there were people who truly cared about him. But then how could he feel so empty inside if that were the case? What was missing? His mind wandered back to the days when Stacy still shined some happiness in his life, but those days were long over, and now here he was, still pining. He knew deep down that it had to stop, but he wasn't sure how to start a new relationship after all these years. A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, and he opened his eyes, wondering who it could possibly be.

"Hey," greeted Cameron with a warm smile. She sat down in the chair next to him and laid her purse on the nightstand. "How are you feeling?"

House sat up and looked at her curiously. He'd forgotten that she had promised to visit him today, and he wondered why. Surely the mystery would have given him something to think about while he was so bored. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you I was going to come," she replied. She worried that maybe he didn't remember.

"I know," he said, and her fears diminished. "I meant, why would you come today? You never answered my question." He was referring to the question that he had asked the day before.

Cameron considered his question but gave him no answer, probably because she didn't even have an answer that she could give to herself. It was more of a feeling than a reason that had brought her to him today, and she knew that he wouldn't understand that. So, instead of replying, she simply shrugged.

House shook his head. He wouldn't accept such an ambiguous answer. There had to be a reason. "That's not an answer."

Cameron smiled at him again and was glad to see that he was still the same puzzle-obsessed House that she loved. But she didn't love him, did she? She lost herself on that thought but was interrupted by House changing the subject.

"So Chase took you to the ballet?" he asked casually. "It shouldn't really surprise me that he likes fairy tales and dancing."

Cameron glared at him. "I think he took me because he knew that _I_ would like it."

"Then again," continued House on his own thought, "I suppose he could have done it to watch all the skinny little girls prancing around the stage."

"You see," explained Cameron, ignoring his statement as he had done hers, "sometimes we do things for those that we love because we know that it will make _them_ happy."

"That certainly sounds like Chase," said House.

Cameron smiled. "He didn't do it because he wanted to," she elaborated. "He just wanted to make me happy."

"That _doesn't_ sound like Chase."

"But you said—"

"I was talking about the pretty girls dancing on stage."

Cameron glared at him once more. "Why is it so hard for you to believe in love?"

"I never said I didn't believe in love."

"No," she conceded. "You just don't believe that love can lead to selfless acts of kindness."

"You need to love someone to be kind to them?" House twisted his face in mock-astonishment. "Maybe all those rumors about me and Wilson are true…."

Cameron giggled. "There are many kinds of love," she began in her innocent, teacher-esque voice, all the while wondering which type of love she felt for House and why it burned her stomach more than the type she felt for Chase.

"There's no such thing as a selfless act," stated House to disprove her point about love.

"That's not true," she disagreed. "You really think it's impossible to do something to make another person happy? Do you think it actually _pleases_ me to be here, or do you think it's possible that maybe I came for your benefit instead of my own?"

"There's no such thing as true altruism," continued House. "We do things that make other people happy, but we only do them because for some reason we're happy when we make others happy. If we didn't feel good about ourselves after helping others, I can guarantee you that marriage rates across the globe would fall."

Cameron shook her head, not really surprised at him.

House contemplated his own statement momentarily before applying it to his visitor. "So then why _are_ you here?"

"I told you, I—"

House shook his head and interrupted her. "What personal satisfaction do you get from coming here? Or is it just to make you happy by making me happy?"

Cameron remained silent and stared at him, as if that was answer enough.

"The only problem with that," said House, "is that it depends on the notion that your being here makes me in some way happy."

Cameron frowned. What was he trying to say? "Do you want me to go?"

House paused for a moment, still meeting her eyes with his own. "I didn't say that."

"Then what _are_ you saying?"

House thought about her question and realized that he was just as oblivious as she appeared to be.

Cameron sighed in response to his silence. "Maybe I should go," she forfeited, and she grabbed her purse from the nightstand and rose to leave. A wave of sadness suddenly overwhelmed her, and she wondered why she was so upset to leave. After all, she would surely see him at work soon, so there was no reason to be sad. But then she remembered how seldom she got to see him while at work now that she ran the ER. There were no more mornings spent making his coffee and sorting his mail, no more days spent running his tests or other errands, no more late nights spent pondering medical mysteries in his office. She never saw him anymore, and Chase would surely frown upon her visiting him outside of work hours. Perhaps that was why she enjoyed visiting him so much in the hospital. Visiting him sent her back to those glorious days that she had once passed in the Department of Diagnostic Medicine, and once he left the hospital, those days would come to an end once again. Before she even realized it, her hand was on the door knob, just waiting to turn it. She didn't want to leave, but then again, what choice did she have now? She nearly heaved a sigh of relief when House asked her another question.

"How was the ballet?" He really didn't care how the ballet was. Actually, he wasn't really sure why he'd asked the question. Maybe he just needed her to ease his boredom, or maybe he really enjoyed her company. Either way, he didn't want her to leave.

Cameron turned back around to face him. "You don't really care how it was."

"Then why did I ask the question?" He wasn't being sarcastic. He really wanted to hear what she thought.

Cameron returned to her seat in the chair and contemplated that question before deciding to answer his first question instead. "I didn't get to see all of it."

House returned her response with a curious expression.

"It ended before the fourth act because one of the ballerinas collapsed on stage."

House was interested now. Did Chase have another case? Would he return to work with a case waiting for him?

Cameron noticed his eager and interested expression and realized that he must be wondering if the ballerina was his next patient. "Chase already diagnosed her with bulimia."

House rolled his eyes at the thought. There was nothing interesting about yet another ballerina with bulimia. He'd be surprised if he could find a professional ballerina who _didn't_ have at least some sort of eating disorder.

Cameron almost laughed at his disappointment. She wasn't happy to see him let down, but she was happy to see that he hadn't changed. She granted him a genuine smile, and she could see him return the smallest, subtlest of smiles. And together, they were happy.

Their mutual smile was disturbed, however, by another knock at the door. Ruby walked in and appeared truly sorry to have interrupted them. "Sorry to interrupt," she said, "but I have some discharge forms that need to be completed before you can leave, and there are just a few things that I wanted to talk to you about."

Cameron nodded and rose once again from her spot in the chair. "I should be going anyway." She returned her green eyes to House's blue eyes, and they shared another moment of mutual hope and happiness. "I guess I'll see you when you come back to work." With that, she left.

The stare did not go unnoticed by Ruby who had always sensed some unspoken connection between her patient and Dr. Cameron. She knew that Cameron was married to another man, but she also knew that she shared something special with House—what that something was, only they would know. And yet, she seemed to feel that perhaps even they weren't aware of the connection they shared. Still, she also felt that maybe one day, they _would_ be aware of their relationship, and until then they would still be good for each other. She sensed that Dr. Cameron's friendship would be of great help to her patient, Dr. House, as he returned to his job and life.

House took the discharge forms from Ruby and signed them. There were official forms as well as a basic contract that obligated him to undergo out-patient therapy. When he had completed them all, he handed the packet of papers back to Ruby who jokingly informed him that Wilson would be keeping an eye on him for her. Ruby was about to leave, but she stopped after she reached the doorway. She wasn't sure whether she should question him about Cameron or not, but curiosity got the best of her. She hesitated before turning around to ask her question. "How… often do you see Dr. Cameron at work?"

House wrinkled his eyebrows at her question, obviously confused. It was an innocent enough question, but then maybe that's why he was so suspicious. He would have expected something of more importance. "Why does that matter?"

Ruby shrugged. She wasn't really sure how aware House was of Cameron's obvious attraction to him, or even his obvious attraction to her. "Just curious."

House knew there had to be more to it than that. "Not that often," responded House. "She brings me cases sometimes. Sometimes I go to the ER to find cases." He shrugged as if it didn't really matter.

Ruby nodded. "But before?"

"Before what?"

"When she worked for you."

"How often did I see her when she worked for me?" House was still confused. The answer was so obvious.

As apparent as the answer was, Ruby still nodded and waited for his response.

House thought about it for a moment and shook his head. "I don't know," he began, "every day I guess."

"All day?"

House rolled his eyes. Of course all day. Where else would she be?

Ruby saw his reaction and nodded. She was about to leave when House stopped her.

"Why do you care how often we worked together?"

"I guess I just find it interesting how close the two of you are despite her new position."

House was about to correct her and insist that he and Cameron were not close at all, but she left before he could say anything. Instead, he sat and contemplated the reasons that Ruby could have for thinking that he and Cameron were close and the reasons that Cameron could have for visiting him. Maybe they were one and the same.

Back in Princeton, Wilson and Cuddy were preparing to drive to Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital to pick their friend up. Wilson had invited Cuddy to dinner beforehand, which she gratefully accepted, and together along with baby Rachel, they dined. They ate at a small Italian restaurant. It was nothing fancy, but it was cozy, and it was the type of place that Cuddy certainly felt comfortable bringing her daughter to without having to worry about other patrons being upset by a baby's noisemaking. Cuddy never asked Wilson if it was a date as he had asked her when she first invited him to dinner several years ago to discuss a sperm donation. Nevertheless, she sensed that maybe it was a date, and for some reason, she didn't really care. She was just happy to be enjoying a night out with a friend. After dinner, they both walked out to Cuddy's car (she had driven because her car held a car seat in the back for Rachel) and began the long drive ahead of them.

When they finally reached the hospital, Cuddy remained in the car with Rachel while Wilson entered the hospital to retrieve their friend. Cuddy grinned when she saw Wilson and House walk out together, and it took all of her will to remain seated behind the steering wheel. She almost laughed when she saw House turn to Wilson and point to the car. Surely he was wondering why he had arrived in her car instead of his own. House joked about Wilson seeing Cuddy (although he wasn't serious, Wilson couldn't help but blush), and Wilson placed House's suitcase in the trunk of the car. Before they both entered, though, Wilson returned the personal belongings that House had entrusted to him. House and Wilson finally took their seats in the car, Wilson in the front with Cuddy and House in the back with Rachel. House glared at Rachel and almost poked her, but Cuddy pushed his hand away from her car seat, insisting that she'd finally fallen asleep. House rolled his eyes and cracked a joke about having to share the back seat with a baby for the entire ride home, but Cuddy and Wilson knew he was only kidding and smirked in response.

"It's good to have you back," commented Cuddy as she started the car and left the psychiatric hospital.

Finally reunited, the three friends returned to Princeton.

**To Be Continued…**


	19. PART II, Chapter 18

**PART II**

Chapter 18

The stars in the night sky twinkled like a million night-lights, illuminating the dark and drab room in which the fortune-teller performed her duties. The psychic named Mirai dressed in her traditional Japanese kimono, and her dark black hair dramatically contrasted to her clear white skin. Dazzling blue eyes hid behind several strands of hair that had fallen from behind her ears. Mirai's client held out a palm, ready to believe whatever she had to say.

Mirai flinched slightly and withdrew her own hands from the table in fear of being touched by the woman. She knew that it was an irrational fear, but she couldn't help but despise the touch of another person. "You are curious about your health," stated Mirai as if she already knew the answer. The truth was that she had no prophetic abilities at all. No, Mirai did not pride herself on being a messenger between Earth and "the great beyond," but she did take pride in her uncanny ability to read people. She could decipher their innermost emotions and desires from nothing more than a flick of the eye, a twitch of the lip. Of course, she would never tell any of her clients this information about herself; for some odd reason they seemed to trust a supposed psychic more than a brilliant psychologist.

"Oh how did you know?" gasped the woman with her hand outstretched.

From her seat across the small circular table, Mirai could see inside the woman's purse. In it were used tissues and two orange pill bottles. "I see it in your hand, of course."

"Oh I knew you would," marveled the woman. "My friend told me you were the best."

Mirai flashed a humble smile. "I do my best."

"So you say you saw something about my health? It's not terrible I hope!"

The woman was obviously a hypochondriac only looking for confirmation that her flulike symptoms were in fact caused by cancer or possibly the Ebola virus. Well, it wasn't Mirai's job to predict her customers' futures (despite what they thought), but rather to entertain them. And in this case, that meant delivering bad news. Mirai shook her head worriedly. "Oh no, no, this does not look good."

"I knew it! Oh please Madame Mirai, tell me what it is!"

_Paranoia_, Mirai wanted to say, but she refrained herself. "You have the water hand."

The woman looked mystified. "I knew it!"

Mirai tried not to laugh. "Do you have allergies, my dear?"

"How did you know?!" She was amazed.

Mirai tried not to reveal her secrets by studying the woman's purse too carefully. Nevertheless, she could feel her client's eyes burning into her own. She knew she was going to be caught, but what else could she do? "The, um, the... the, uh, water hand could also mean, um, neurological problems," she stammered.

The woman ignored Mirai's stuttering. "You mean… like a brain tumor? Or a hallucination? Am I going to have a seizure?!" The woman was pleasantly frightened.

Suddenly Mirai's hand started to shake again. She shook her head and told herself that it was from her lack of sleep. She was so exhausted. Her eyes were transfixed on the purse for so long, though, that even the naïve woman became suspicious.

"What are you looking at?" she asked.

Mirai's heart skipped a beat. Her secret would be uncovered! Panic and adrenaline pumped throughout her body, and she feared the worst.

The woman seemed disgusted. "You were just looking in my purse! You aren't a real psychic!"

Mirai's heart started racing. Something was wrong.

The woman finally caught on. "Are… are you okay?"

For a second, Mirai thought that she had died and was floating on the ceiling, looking down on her distressed body. Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. Or at least she thought she couldn't. She started hyperventilating.

"C-C-Celeste!" yelled Mirai out to her friend who had been absent from the room until being called.

"My name's Tiffany," corrected the woman. She did not notice Celeste enter the room.

Celeste rushed to Mirai's side. "It's going to be okay," she reassured her, but Tiffany paid no attention.

"Are you okay?" repeated Tiffany. She placed a comforting hand on her psychic's shoulder.

Mirai's reaction was delayed, but upon feeling the touch of another person on her shoulder, she flinched and in a heat of agitation nearly pushed her client away. After that execution, Mirai found only enough strength to shake her head in the negative. "Call… Call…" She couldn't bring herself to say 9-1-1, though, because before she knew it, she was out cold on the floor. Her body lay motionless.

"Oh my god," screamed the psychic's client. She reached into her tissue-filled purse and pulled out a cell phone. "I need some help!"


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Several weeks had passed since the night that House was finally released from Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital. It was now the middle of August, and fall was in the air. The leaves were starting to change colors, kids were going back to school, and House was going back to work. In reality, he had returned to his position at Princeton-Plainsboro about a week ago after his psychiatrist had given him the all-clear to practice medicine once again. He was not scheduled to meet with her regularly anymore, but she informed him that she might complete follow-up calls with him occasionally. And on top of that, she playfully reminded him that Wilson would be on the watch. Honestly, House was thankful to be out of psychiatric care. He was happy that things were finally returning to normal—or rather, as normal as they would ever be.

It had been a week of virtual nothingness. House had yet to receive a case, but it wasn't unusual for him to go this long without a patient. It's not as if bizarre medical mysteries arise regularly once a week in Princeton, New Jersey. Of course, Cuddy had been forcing him to at least complete clinic hours since his return to the hospital. She figured, if anything, it could help him "warm up" for the real deal when he finally found a case. House had laughed at her rationalization, insisting that practicing medicine was like riding a bike: only hospital administrators who get caught up in racing forget how to _truly_ ride. Cuddy had ignored this insult, just thankful to have him back on the staff and back in her life.

House entered his office and for some reason began to remember all of the great times he'd had in it. He hadn't really thought them to be great at the time, but after being away for a month, he had finally come to realize that he truly enjoyed his work (well, not clinic hours). He tossed his backpack in the corner and sat down behind his desk, which he had reorganized after Chase's departure. Chase, much to his delight, had returned to his position on the surgical staff, and House's team was back to normal.

House glanced at the stack of mail on his desk and for some reason remembered how Cameron used to sort it for him. Why didn't Hadley do that? Or why couldn't Cameron come and do it before going to the ER every morning? Maybe that was too much to ask, but he certainly would appreciate it (he just wouldn't show his appreciation, which is probably why Cameron refrained from performing her old mail-sorting duties now that she worked in a different department). House heaved an annoyed sigh and picked up the large stack of mail that had been accumulating for over a week now. In fact, he had yet to look at any of it since his return. He flipped through the pile, more annoyed and bored with each passing letter. The stack primarily consisted of speaking requests, conference notifications, and other junk that House didn't really care about. When he came to the end of the pile, though, he found a familiar letter. It had already been opened, but he remembered that he had been the one to open it weeks ago. It was the invitation to his mother's wedding; this time, though, it had a sticky note on the top of it. "_She's your mother. At least think about it!"_ was written in Wilson's messy, girlish handwriting. After staring momentarily at the invitation, House rolled his eyes and tossed it into the trash where it belonged.

By the time House had finished reviewing and disposing of all of his mail, he heard glass doors open in the connecting room. Foreman, Hadley, and Taub were returning from their morning clinic duty and were probably eager for a new case. House didn't want to go in and talk to them, especially since he didn't have a patient to present. Plus, he figured that if they'd found a case, they would inform him of it rather than chit-chat as they were currently doing. He watched them laugh and joke together. Hadley was apparently telling a funny story, and at one point she flailed her arms up in a humorous expression. House's eyes widened as he noticed something shiny on her hand. He continued to study his three employees—mainly Hadley's hand, though—before deciding that the shiny object on her left hand was in fact a ring. House thought about how to respond to the ring. Should he pretend that he didn't notice? No, that wouldn't be like him at all; he noticed everything. Well, then maybe he should just pretend that he didn't care. No, he did care; this engagement would surely affect his department in some way or another. Then what to do? Maybe he should go and confront the happy couple mockingly. Yes, that sounded like him. He rose from his desk and limped toward the adjoining room.

"Morning," greeted Hadley happily. She was obviously in a cheery mood after her comical story, but House figured that her attitude had more to do with her new engagement.

House ignored her greeting and went straight to his observations. "I see some lucky girl has finally tied you down." He paused. "Unfortunately, I don't mean that in the literal way." He walked casually over to the counter and began fixing himself a cup of coffee.

Hadley smirked and inspected her diamond ring. "I'm not sure I'd call him a girl."

House regarded her with mock-confusion before turning his attention to Foreman. "Really?"

Foreman and Hadley both rolled their eyes, and Foreman decided to put an end to the mockery by coming clean about the ring. "We're engaged, okay?"

"I know," replied House. "Who did you think I was talking about?"

Foreman continued with the facts in further attempt to end the joking. "It's just going to be a small wedding."

"Following in Cameron and Chase's footsteps, I see," he remarked. "They always were one step ahead of you." It was House's first week back on the job; he needed to stretch his snark muscles.

Foreman ignored him. "September 9th," he gave House the date.

House smirked momentarily at the fact that their wedding date was 09/09/09. Then he realized that their wedding was only a month away. Foreman wasn't kidding when he said it would be small. He just nodded his approval. He didn't really care if they took a day off to get married. It wasn't as if they hadn't taken plenty of other days off for Huntington's trials or other things he didn't care about.

Foreman seemed suddenly hesitant. "Can we talk in your office?"

House shrugged and stuffed a bagel in his mouth as he followed Foreman into his office, his coffee in one hand and his cane in the other. House set his coffee and bagel down and took a seat behind his desk. He was surprised to see that Hadley hadn't followed them. What was Foreman keeping from her? Before he could ask, though, Foreman answered.

"I'm planning a surprise honeymoon."

House rolled his eyes at yet more irrelevant information that he didn't care about.

"I was wondering if we could both take a leave of absence until November 1."

At that statement, House's eyes widened. That was one long honeymoon. "You want a month and a half off for a honeymoon?" That was outrageous.

Foreman nodded, still hesitant. "I just—"

House understood before Foreman even explained himself, though. "Your bride-to-be will be your late bride in ten more years."

Foreman frowned at House's phrasing but added to the explanation anyway. "I just wanted to make sure that she saw the world while she still had the chance—before her symptoms are too bad. Now seemed like a better time than any." He watched as House contemplated this news. "You don't have to give me an answer right now," he said. "I just wanted to let you know what I was planning." He stood up to return to Hadley and Taub.

House sat in silence and reflected on what Foreman had said. He didn't really care if they were gone for a month. It wasn't as if they were irreplaceable. Sure, Foreman was probably the best member of his team other than himself, but surely Taub would suffice. Still, he would probably need one or more substitutes while they were gone. He couldn't run a department with just himself and one other person. He wanted to discuss this new development with his best friend, so he walked out onto the terrace connecting their two offices, hopped over the wall, and tried to open Wilson's back door only to find that it was locked. He looked inside and noticed that the lights were off and that Wilson was not at his desk. House rolled his eyes at the inconvenience and returned to his own office to contemplate Foreman and Hadley's absence alone. Where could his friend have gone?

In fact, Wilson was taking a quick break from his charting to visit his friend on the first floor. He entered Cuddy's office, and she flashed him a smile that he warmly returned.

"Thanks again for babysitting for me last night," said Cuddy who had been trying her best to finish up some paperwork the night before. Even now, she was sitting on her couch, still engrossed in her work.

Wilson took a seat in the chair next to the couch. "Anytime," he replied. "I can't imagine your nanny would want to stay that late."

Cuddy sighed. "Listen, I'm really sorry about that, it's just—"

Wilson laughed. "I wasn't complaining. She's a cute kid. Anytime you need a sitter, just call."

Cuddy smiled at the compliment and the offer. "Was there something you needed?"

Wilson nearly blushed at the question. In reality, he had actually come to ask her a question, but it didn't really have anything to do with work.

Cuddy could see the rouge in his cheeks, though, and she broke the awkward silence with an awkward question. "Can I ask you something?"

Thankful that he didn't have to respond to her first question, Wilson looked up at her and waited.

Cuddy's eyes wandered around the room and finally settled on the table in front of her. "What… what are we doing?" She forced herself to meet Wilson's eyes, but just as she had done so, his eyes started to wander as well, causing her to smile. He was so cute when he was embarrassed.

"I…" started Wilson, but he found himself incapable of completing that particular sentence, so he tried a different one. "Would you like to have dinner tonight?"

"Like… a date?"

Wilson's tongue was tied, but he managed to nod ever so slightly.

Cuddy smiled. "I'd love to."

Wilson returned her smile and was nearly bursting with excitement.

"Should I call a sitter, or should I bring Rachel along?"

Wilson thought about her question momentarily. He would love time alone with Cuddy, that was for sure, but he couldn't help but admit that he adored her little girl as well. "I've got an idea," he replied. "How about I just come over to your place and make you dinner—no sitter needed, and you can stay home with Rachel."

Cuddy grinned. It was a splendid idea. She nodded her approval, and Wilson stood up to leave. He was probably going to go tell his best friend all about his date, but then it occurred to Cuddy that maybe that was not the best idea. She stopped Wilson before he left her office. "Maybe we shouldn't tell House about this."

"What do you mean?"

She cast him an incredulous look. "A month ago, he was—"

Wilson quickly understood why she wanted to hide their new relationship from House. "You're afraid he might still have feelings for you."

Cuddy bit her lip and nodded. "I mean, we both agreed that it wouldn't work out, but—"

"But feelings don't end quite so easily," he finished for her. He nodded in an agreement to keep their relationship a secret for now. His friend had just been released from psychiatric care; Wilson didn't want to give him a reason to be upset. He started to leave the office, but Cuddy stopped him again.

"Be over around seven?" she asked.

Wilson gave her another smile, nodded, and left.

After talking to House about the engagement, Foreman returned to his colleagues in the main office. Together they decided to go inspect the ER for an interesting case. When they arrived, they found a busy room full of doctors and nurses running about. This occurrence was typical in the emergency room, however, and so they checked in with Cameron to see if there were any interesting cases and if she might need their assistance. Before she could answer, though, Cameron noticed the diamond ring on Hadley's finger. She was becoming just as observant as House (not that it took much skill to notice an engagement ring).

"Congratulations!" she exclaimed after Foreman and Hadley informed her that they were in fact engaged. Cameron hugged them both and grinned. She asked when the wedding was, and they told her. After Hadley and Taub had rushed to intercept an incoming patient, though, Foreman told Cameron about the surprise honeymoon that he had planned. Cameron grinned once more, and she understood as well as House had why he was taking such a long vacation. A thought suddenly occurred to Cameron, and she chuckled.

"What?" Foreman asked in response to her laughing.

Cameron shook her head. "It's nothing."

"No tell me," he pushed. "What is it?"

Cameron sighed lightly before continuing. "It's just that a few years ago, you told me that I didn't have the real thing with my husband because I married him while he was dying, and commitment is only commitment if there's no expiration date. Yet here you are, marrying a dying woman."

Foreman was a little surprised at the comment. He had never really noticed the similarities between his relationship with Hadley and Cameron's first marriage before. He didn't know what to make of it.

"Is it the real thing?" asked Cameron. "Is it possible to be committed to someone who you know will die soon?" To Foreman, it sounded as though she were trying to prove a point, but deep down Cameron truly wondered what the answer was.

"I get it," said Foreman as he walked away in search of a patient that he could present to House.

Cameron was left alone behind the nurse's station. She stared at the file in her hand, but she wasn't reading its contents. No, she was contemplating her first marriage and what it meant. She constantly told herself that her love for her first husband was pure and real, and she genuinely believed at the time that she could save him. She had convinced herself despite all medical opinion that he would be with her forever, and then he died. How could she have been so naïve? Then again, maybe she hadn't been naïve. Maybe Foreman was right, and she _did_ marry him because it was only short term and because she wanted to help him. She couldn't deny the fact that she had commitment issues. She marveled at the notion that somebody so afraid of commitment was now married. Her entire marriage was still pleasantly unreal to her, but as the idea that she was with Chase for life suddenly sank in, she began to feel very distraught and anxious. She wondered if maybe she had made a mistake; she wondered if maybe she had only asked Chase for a proposal in the fear of losing him forever. Cameron took a seat next to a nurse and inhaled a deep breath. She released the air from her lungs slowly and hoped that it would help to calm her, but her fears returned when Chase approached her, asking about lunch.

"I'm a little busy right now," Cameron lied.

Chase studied her carefully and could tell that something was wrong. "Are you alright?"

Cameron nodded. "I'm fine," she said before changing the subject. "Did you know that Foreman and Thirteen are engaged?"

Chase shook his head and smiled. "When's the wedding?"

Cameron told him, and then she told him about the extended leave of absence that they would be taking for a honeymoon.

"Wow," replied Chase. "That's a long vacation."

Cameron nodded in agreement. "I think I might talk to Cuddy about filling in for them while they're gone." She hadn't even been aware that she was considering the idea until she said it out loud.

Chase looked at her curiously. "I thought you liked the ER."

Cameron shrugged. "It would only be temporary—like what you just did."

Chase nodded, clearly aware that it was only temporary. Still, he could see it now: Cameron rejoining House's team only to realize that she just couldn't leave again. He was sincerely afraid that that might happen. "I'm not sure it's such a good idea."

Cameron eyed him. "That's what you said about me going to that session."

Chase snorted. "And look how that turned out."

Cameron could feel the makings of a fight quickly approaching, and she really wasn't in the mood to argue. "I've got a patient."

Chase watched as Cameron went to help medics bring a middle-aged woman into the ER via a stretcher, and he wondered why Cameron was suddenly so interested in spending more time with House.

Author's Note: So that was a decently long chapter. Let me know what you guys think of the set-up for Part II!


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Cameron needed to escape the potential argument with Chase, so she excused herself from the discussion and went to attend to a patient. Luckily, at that very moment, a woman was being brought in via ambulance. According to the medics, she had suffered a severe panic attack the night before and was now being transferred to Princeton-Plainsboro for a diagnosis; she was arriving in the ER because she'd suffered another panic attack on the drive over. Now, a panic attack would not usually warrant a full diagnostic work-up, but this particular woman seemed to have some rather unique issues. Cameron read in her chart that tranquilizers had helped the panic attack, but only after the ER physician at Princeton General managed to inject it. Apparently, this woman had a severe fear of needles, injections, medications, and being touched. Cameron's eyes widened briefly as she wondered what must have happened to this woman for her to have so many fears.

"My name is Dr. Cameron," she introduced herself. "I'm going to be taking care of you." The woman cringed slightly at the introduction and took a deep breath, causing Cameron to wonder if maybe she was afraid of doctors too. Either that or she was particularly paranoid and agitated at the moment. Cameron's money was on both. She examined her newest patient and noticed a tremor in her hand. "How long have you had that tremor?"

The woman, who had quietly introduced herself as Mirai, inspected her shaking hand and shrugged ever so slightly. "A couple of months… maybe five."

"Why didn't you see a doctor?"

Mirai avoided Cameron's glare and refused to respond. She seemed embarrassed by something.

Two thoughts passed through Cameron's mind: one, Mirai knew what was causing the tremor and therefore neglected to see a doctor, or two, she didn't like doctors or hospitals. "I need to draw some blood for a—"

"No!"

"What?"

"No, don't draw blood."

"I promise it won't hurt, and—"

"Please, I… I just…" She couldn't seem to get a whole thought out, and Cameron noted this difficulty speaking in her chart.

Cameron nodded and remembered that Mirai feared needles. "Please, we need to do this. I know you don't like needles, but we need to run a tox-screen to check for drugs or any other toxins."

"I'm not on any drugs."

Cameron couldn't remember how many users had told her that before. "Please, we just need to be sure." Without waiting for a response, Cameron fetched a blood-drawing kit and began the test. "That's not too bad is it?"

Mirai seemed surprised and shook her head. "Usually it really hurts."

"But it doesn't hurt now?" Cameron was curious. She tapped the woman's other arm. "Can you feel that?" Mirai nodded, and Cameron tapped the arm that she had drawn blood from. "What about that?"

Mirai nodded once more. "I-I guess it just doesn't hurt anymore."

Cameron wasn't convinced. She grabbed another needle and pricked Mirai's finger. "Did that hurt?"

Mirai shook her head. "What does that mean?"

"You're insensitive to pain," replied Cameron. She noted the new symptom in the chart and ordered a CBC and a tox-screen to be run on her patient before continuing with the exam. She noticed the woman's droopy eyelids. "Have you been having trouble sleeping?"

Mirai shrugged again. "Doesn't everybody?"

"How long have you had the insomnia?"

Mirai seemed to be thinking before finally settling on somewhere close to a year, maybe nine or ten months.

Cameron nodded and made a note in the chart. She was about to complete a referral to the psych department when Mirai asked a question that changed her mind.

"Can my friend come back?" she asked. "I… I'd really like it if she were here."

Cameron seemed confused. "I didn't see anyone come in with you."

Mirai nodded. "She rode with me in the ambulance. I th-think she went to the w-w-waiting room."

Cameron tried to remember a woman coming in with Mirai but was running a blank. "What's her name? I'll go ask around in the waiting room."

"Celeste."

Cameron nodded and left for the waiting room. When she got there, she asked around for a Celeste, but there wasn't one. She returned to her patient. "Are you positive she was with you? I couldn't find anyone by that name in the waiting room."

Mirai smiled and shook her head. "She found me. D-Dr. Cameron, this is C-Celeste." She motioned to the woman beside her, but to Cameron, she was motioning to the empty space next to her bed.

"There's nobody there," stated Cameron possibly too bluntly. She made a note in the chart that the patient was hallucinating.

"What are you talking about? She's right here!"

"You're hallucinating," Cameron informed her. She wasn't really in a good mood after her talk with Chase, and she didn't feel the want or need to cushion anything that she said. "How long have you been seeing Celeste?"

Mirai was becoming both frightened and annoyed. "What are you t-talking about? We've been friends for m-months now."

"How many months?"

"Five or s-six."

That was about the same time that the tremor had started. Cameron led her patient to a scale to measure her height and weight. She compared them to the numbers in Mirai's chart. "Are you on a diet?"

"What? No, why would you—"

"You're really underweight," said Cameron. "How much do you usually weigh?" Because of Mirai's fear of doctors, there wasn't a very recent weight in the file.

Mirai shrugged. "Maybe 100-110 pounds."

"You weigh 85 right now," Cameron informed her. The symptoms were just piling up now. Cameron noticed that Mirai's skin was slightly flushed and took her temperature. She had a fever. She continued by checking the patient's reflexes; they were delayed. She didn't even know where to begin with a diagnosis. Surely there was something psychologically wrong with Mirai, but Cameron was starting to sense that maybe there was a physical condition to blame.

As Cameron flipped through the chart, Mirai studied her face. It comforted her to observe things about other people; it left her feeling in control and aware. "That l-line between your eyes…"

Mirai's speaking broke Cameron's silence. "What?"

"That line between your eyes," repeated Mirai, "in Chinese physiognomy it means that you are carrying too many burdens."

Cameron snorted. "I don't really believe in fortune-telling."

Mirai frowned. She didn't believe in it either, but it didn't take an expert to notice how stressed and distracted Cameron was. She seemed to be contemplating a million things at once. She continued with her fortune-telling. "Your eyes, they're deep. That suggests that you're a romantic at heart but you don't let yourself become unrealistic."

Cameron almost laughed. Maybe there was something to this physiognomy thing, or maybe her psychic patient was particularly observant. Then again, how hard could it be to see that she was distracted after having a conversation with her husband? Surely Mirai had seen Cameron on the verge of arguing with Chase before storming away. The sparkly new wedding band on her finger was probably another indicator.

"Y-You should t-try it sometime."

"Try what?"

"If you aren't unrealistic sometimes, nothing g-great can ever h-happen."

"Well, they wouldn't call it unrealistic if it could happen in reality."

"J-Just because unrealistic things don't usually happen doesn't mean they're imp-possible."

Cameron was suddenly lost in thought but was brought back to reality when Mirai continued.

"Maybe you wouldn't b-be carrying so many burdens if y-you just let yourself l-live once in a w-while."

"I never said you were right about the burdens."

"You d-didn't have to," replied Mirai. "I can see it in your eyes. And th-that has nothing to do with physiognomy."

Cameron frowned and wondered if she was that obvious. She changed the subject back to her patient's illness. "I think you have a physical disorder. I'm going to refer you to our Department of Diagnostics."

Mira was obviously upset that she'd have to stay in the hospital and see more doctors, but she knew there was nothing she could do to prevent it.

Cameron left her patient in the care of the ER nurses as she went in search of House. When she arrived in his office, though, she noticed that he was missing. She asked Foreman where he'd gone, and he said that he had returned home for something—what that something was, though, he didn't really know. Cameron thanked him for his help and decided to search for House at his apartment.


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Cameron parked her car and strolled up to House's doorstep. She knocked once and waited: nothing. She knocked a second time and waited: nothing. She knocked once more, this time louder and more persistently. House still did not answer his door, so she called out his name. When he refused to answer, Cameron sighed and reached for the spare key above his door. She was about to enter it into the lock when she heard the door behind her open.

"What do you want?" said House from behind her, clearly annoyed.

Cameron quickly spun to face House. She caught a glimpse of dark red on his white collar, and seeing Cameron notice this, House adjusted his sport coat to cover the red spot. Cameron assumed that it was lipstick and scoffed. How could he leave work early for that? She was so disgusted in him that she nearly forgot why she'd even come.

House asked a second question even though Cameron had never answered the first one. "How did you know where my spare key was?"

Cameron refrained from telling him that she'd broken in before by answering his first question instead. "You have a case."

"No I don't."

Cameron ignored his response. "What were you doing in your neighbor's apartment?"

"What are you doing at _my_ apartment?"

"I asked you first."

"Come on," said House as he opened his door (which was already unlocked, much to Cameron's surprise) and led Cameron inside, "you and I both know only one of us is going to answer that question."

Cameron sighed. "I already answered—"

"—which only proves my point," interrupted House.

Cameron handed him Mirai's file. "I have a case for you."

House took the file but waited for Cameron to pitch it, to tell him why it was so interesting and why he should return to work.

As House had predicted, Cameron began her overview of the patient. "She has a million symptoms: trypanophobia, pharmacophobia, aichmophobia, aphenphosmphobia, iatrophobia, nosocomephobia—"

"You memorized the names of all the phobias?"

Cameron seemed confused by his lack of focus. "No, but it helps to know them when you have a patient who has them."

"Well, wouldn't it just be easier to tell me what things she fears instead of telling me names that mean nothing?"

Cameron gasped in mock-astonishment. "You mean _you_ didn't memorize the names of all the phobias?"

"Why would I do that?"

"You memorize every other pointless thing, I just assumed—"

"Are you going to tell me what she's afraid of or not?"

"Injections, medications, needles, being touched, doctors, and hospitals."

"So she had a bad experience with some medical treatment as a kid; those are hardly symptoms."

"I'm not so sure," replied Cameron. "Aside from the fact that she has no history of any major medical treatment, she also has several other psych symptoms."

"Such as…"

"Such as paranoia, agitation, insomnia, hallucinations, and probably anxiety because she's been experiencing panic attacks."

House rolled his eyes at the boring case. "All of those symptoms can be caused by sleep deprivation, except for the insomnia which _is_ sleep deprivation. So I suppose the only thing to diagnose is the insomnia." House paused, pretending to be deep in thought. "I wonder if she has somniphobia," he joked, using the term for the fear of sleep.

"House, can we please be serious for a—"

House's eyes widened in mock-surprise. "My, that's a lot of phobias. I wonder if she has panophobia," he played, this time using the word for the fear of everything.

"House—"

"I guess that would mean she has phobiaphobia as well," he continued on his playful rant. "How paradoxical! She fears everything, including fear itself."

"And here I thought you hadn't memorized the names of all the phobias."

House was going to inform her that he only knew the funny ones like fear of everything, fear of fear, and of course, fear of peanut butter sticking to the top of one's mouth (which, by the way, is arachibutyrophobia), but he decided against it and instead went back to discussing his first interest: why she was here. "Why are you here?"

"What are you talking about? I brought you a case."

House shook his head. "If this was really about the case, you would have brought me a real case. You _know_ this one won't interest me, and yet here you are. Why?"

"There's more," replied Cameron, not yet ready to discuss her primary reason for seeking him out. "I don't think it's psychological. I think she has a physical illness."

"She doesn't have—"

"She has a fever, excessive sweating, a tremor, poor reflexes, hallucinations, sudden weight loss, insensitivity to pain, and I got a call on the drive over that she's now experiencing sphincter disturbances."

"Eww," replied House, "but still irrelevant. Those could still be caused by a psychological disorder."

"What about the fever?"

"The onset of some mental illnesses can be caused by an infection," he responded even though he knew that the odds were slim.

Cameron glared at him skeptically, and she knew that even he knew it was a ridiculous diagnosis. "She's had some of the psychological symptoms for almost a year, and she's had the fever for almost five months. I'm pretty sure that mental illnesses cannot be caused by infections from the future."

House and Cameron stared at each other, their eyes once again locked in a never-ending struggle for victory—each battle yielding a new winner.

"Take the case," pressured Cameron.

House's eyes were still locked with hers. "Tell me why you're _really_ here, and I'll take the case."

Cameron sighed and tried one final time to hide her intentions. "I just wanted to refer you the case."

House shook his head again. "Even if this case _were_ interesting, you would have just called me or paged me. You wouldn't drive all the way down here in the middle of the day."

"You never answer your calls or pages," said Cameron, trying to come up with an excuse for her daytime trip.

"And yet you continue to call me and page me whenever you want something," retorted House. "If you want me to take this case, then—"

"I want back on the team." It shot out of Cameron's mouth like fire, and she wasn't even aware that she'd said it until House responded.

"You want me to fire Thirteen _now_ after she's been on the team for a year?"

Cameron sighed. He had misunderstood her. "No, I just thought that maybe I could fill in for Foreman and Thirteen while they're on their honeymoon."

"You heard about that, did you?"

Cameron nodded.

"I must say, this is rather quick," he replied. "I just heard about it this morning, and you're already sure you want back on the team."

"It's only temporary."

House almost laughed. She said that now, but he knew that she would struggle to leave the department—or rather, leave _him_—again. "And you haven't even had time to talk it over with the new hubby."

"Chase is fine with me rejoining the team," she lied.

House studied her, trying to make out whether or not she was lying. He figured that she probably was, but what did he care? He was just happy to hear why she had sought him out in the middle of the day. Then again, he was slightly curious as to why Cameron would both defy her husband's wishes and lie about doing so. "Why don't I believe that?"

Cameron realized that House knew she was lying. She figured that he also knew why Chase was uncomfortable with her rejoining the team. "I miss the job," she tried to convince House. "I don't miss you."

House and Cameron locked eyes once more, this time daring each other to speak. House dared Cameron to speak the truth, and Cameron dared House to deny her claims.

Cameron broke the silence. "Besides," she said. "I like the ER."

House knew that she was still lying. He had heard her speak that lie too many times to count, just as he had heard her claim to miss the job but not him before. He knew the truth—or at least he thought he did. He wasn't sure whether he wanted it to be true or not, though, because he was afraid of the implications. He was afraid of what having Cameron back on the team and back in his life might mean. He didn't know what to say. He could refuse to let her back on the team, but she would only suspect that it was because of his supposed feelings for her. He could willingly let her back on the team, but then she would still assume that it was because of his feelings for her. There was no way of winning, so he did what he did best: he ran away from the problem. He closed the patient file and grabbed his things to go. "Are you coming or not?"

Until that moment, Cameron had remained standing in his living room, but when he spoke, she nodded and walked toward the door. "So, you're going to take the case?" She didn't pressure him about the temporary spot in his department. She knew he wasn't ready to answer her yet, and there was plenty of time anyway.

"We had a deal, didn't we?"

Once again, Cameron nodded, and this time, she followed House out the door.


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

After House had finally agreed to take the case from Cameron, he left his apartment and returned to the hospital where his fellows awaited him and their new patient. Once he was in the office and ready at the whiteboard, House opened the differential by relaying all of the symptoms that Cameron had listed to him.

"She's insensitive to pain?" asked Hadley. "Could it be CIPA?"

Foreman shook his head. "CIPA also causes anhidrosis, and this girl has excessive sweating."

"Besides," added Taub, "CIPA wouldn't explain all of her other symptoms."

Hadley withdrew her previous guess. "The fever could point to drugs, infection, autoimmune, metabolic, or cancer."

"So which is it?" asked House with his marker ready to write down ideas.

"Metabolic disorders would only explain the fever, weight loss, and maybe some of her psychological symptoms," replied Hadley. "It doesn't fit very well."

"Well, what _does_ fit very well?" asked House, still eager for new ideas.

"Autoimmune diseases could explain the fever, weight loss, hallucinations, and psych symptoms," suggested Taub.

Foreman shook his head. "That still doesn't account for the other neurological symptoms. If an infection spread to her brain, it could explain all of her symptoms."

"Except her white count's normal," Hadley disagreed. "Psychedelic drugs could also explain all of her symptoms."

"Except the tox-screen was normal," Foreman fought back. "A neurological disorder is more likely. If it's not an infection, it could be a tumor in her brain. Cancer would fit her symptoms perfectly."

House considered all of the ideas that he'd just heard. Just because her white count was normal didn't necessarily mean that infection was off the table. He did agree, though, that metabolic and autoimmune disorders, as well as drugs, were all lousy ideas. "Get an LP to test for infection and an MRI to check for cancer."

Just as the ducklings were about to go do as they were told, though, their pagers sounded simultaneously.

"We can't," claimed Taub. "She's having a seizure."

House remained by the whiteboard and added a symptom as his three employees ran to help stabilize their patient:

**Panic Attacks**

**Multiple Phobias**

**Paranoia**

**Agitation**

**Difficulty Speaking**

**Tremor**

**Poor Reflexes**

**Insensitivity to Pain**

**Insomnia**

**Weight Loss**

**Hallucinations**

**Fever**

**Excessive Sweating**

**Sphincter Disturbances**

**Seizure**

House stared at the incredibly long list of symptoms before him. The seizure didn't really tell him anything new, at least not according to their current ideas. It could be consistent with either a brain infection or a tumor, but which was it?

Meanwhile, the team had managed to calm Mirai's seizure with a dose of ativan, but the seizure wasn't her only problem: her fever was spiking. The team had deduced that her seizure was caused by her overheating, so they attempted to cool her off with ice packs and bags of saline.

"Temperature's dropping," noted Taub. "I think the ice and saline are working."

"No they aren't," commented Foreman as he rushed for towels and blankets to dry their patient off. "She's freezing."

"How can she be freezing?" asked Hadley. "She was burning up just a second ago!" She was still trying to stabilize the patient, although now she was attempting to warm her up rather than cool her down.

Foreman swarmed Mirai with blankets and towels to warm her up, but just as soon as he had done so, she started to burn up once again.

"Her fever's coming back!" shouted Taub. "Cool her off before she has another seizure!"

Hadley and Foreman did as they were told, only to find that their patient began to freeze once more. The three doctors continued to heat and cool their patient, finding themselves incapable of stabilizing her. Once she had finally reached a stable temperature, though, the exhausted doctors returned to their office.

When House saw his three fellows, he looked at them curiously and in annoyance. "You guys look like shit," he commented. "How long can it take to give a patient ativan?"

"The seizure wasn't her problem," replied Taub as he plopped down in his seat.

"But you guys said—"

"It was a febrile seizure," furthered Hadley.

"We tried to cool her down," continued Foreman, "but then she just froze, so we heated her up, and—"

"—and she burned up," finished House for him.

Hadley, Foreman, and Taub all nodded.

House's attention was finally piqued: maybe this was a real case after all. "Great," he said. "Ideas?"

"The seizure doesn't tell us anything," said Hadley. "It could be consistent with both an infection and cancer."

"No," corrected Taub. "It doesn't tell us anything because it was a febrile seizure. So, the real question is why her fever was so high."

"No," Foreman corrected Taub. "She already had a fever, so the _real_ question is why she was suddenly getting the chills."

"No," corrected House in turn. "The question isn't why she was getting the chills. It's why her body is incapable of regulating its own core temperature."

"Infection and cancer are still the most likely causes," asserted Taub. "We should still do the LP and the MRI."

"They're most likely," agreed House, "but they aren't equally likely. Inability to regulate body temperature is more suggestive of cancer than it is of infection."

Suddenly, Hadley had a thought. "No!" she exclaimed. "It's not an infection or cancer; it's hormonal."

"A hormonal disorder wouldn't explain all of her symptoms," replied Foreman.

Hadley shook her head. "A hormonal disorder explains it perfectly. Her hormones can't regulate her core temperature, so she goes febrile and has a seizure. When we try to cool her down, her body can't respond by keeping her core temperature normal, so she freezes."

"Hormonal disorders don't explain the other symptoms, though," said Taub.

"So what does explain the other symptoms _and_ the inability to control her body temperature?" asked House.

"You were right," said Foreman as he looked up at House.

"I'm not in the mood for flattery," House joked. "What was I right about?"

"Infection and cancer are still the most likely candidates, but they aren't equally likely," said Foreman. "A hypothalamic tumor would explain all of her symptoms, including the inability to regulate her core body temperature. We need to get that MRI of her brain."

House nodded his agreement and consent to go run the tests, so the three ducklings left to go do their jobs while House left to go find his friend. He wanted to discuss the conversation that'd he'd had with Cameron earlier. House burst into Wilson's office without knocking and took a seat on the couch.

Wilson sat, just waiting for House to speak, but when he didn't, Wilson asked for the reason behind his presence. "Was… there something you wanted, or…?"

House looked up at Wilson and appeared to be deep in thought. "Why would Cameron want back on my team?"

Wilson was shocked. "Cameron wants back on your team?"

"The only thing is that Chase doesn't want her back on my team."

"Chase doesn't want her back on your team?"

"This conversation would go much more quickly if you stopped repeating me and just jumped ahead to the part where you psychoanalyze everything that everyone does."

"Gee," laughed Wilson, "I never thought I'd see the day where you actually _wanted_ me to psychoanalyze you."

"Not _me_," retorted House, "_Cameron_. I want to know why she's defying Chase's wishes, why she's lying about defying those wishes, and why she wants back on my team."

Wilson was almost confused, but he continued to follow House. "She's lying about Chase not wanting her on your team?"

"She told me he was fine with it."

"And you know she's lying because Chase told you otherwise?"

"I know she's lying because I know that Chase wouldn't want her to join my team," replied House matter-of-factly.

"How do you know that if he didn't tell you?" asked Wilson. "How do you know she's lying if you aren't positive about what Chase doesn't want?"

"I'm positive," asserted House.

"Right," replied Wilson skeptically. "So this has nothing to do with you subconsciously wanting Cameron to still want you."

"What?"

"You're just imagining Chase's disapproval because you want to believe that Cameron still has feelings for you."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"If she _did_ still have feelings for you, then you know that Chase wouldn't want her to rejoin your team," explained Wilson. "And since you want those feelings to exist, you are subconsciously making up the fact that Chase doesn't want her to return to Diagnostics."

"Well if that were true," suggested House, "then I wouldn't have asked you why Cameron would want back on my team because I would have already known the answer."

Wilson just rolled his eyes and stared at House knowingly.

Feeling suddenly uncomfortable with the shift this conversation had taken to his personal life, though, House felt the need to ever so subtly change the subject to Wilson's personal life. "Besides," he continued, "why should I trust someone who has had three failed marriages and isn't even in a relationship to analyze the marriages or emotions of other people?" This time, House stared at Wilson knowingly, and the smallest hint of blush gave him away. House continued on his thought. "…unless of course I should trust the fact that he understands poor communication or failing relationships."

Wilson almost sighed in relief just thinking that House wasn't going to accuse him of being in another relationship. He didn't need any prying right now, especially since Cuddy had told him to keep their date a secret.

Wilson's obvious relief only confirmed House's suspicions. "Or maybe I _can_ trust his opinion because he _is_ in yet another doomed relationship."

Wilson nearly rolled his eyes and collapsed in defeat, but he wasn't going down without a fight. "What are you talking about? I'm not—"

"No need to deny it," claimed House, "I already know."

Wilson was shocked. "She told you?!"

"No," replied House, "but you just did."

Wilson rolled his eyes. He should have seen that coming.

"And," continued House, "the fact that you would believe she'd told me suggests that I know who _she_ is."

"No you—"

"It's not a nurse," House thought out loud, "they're too afraid to talk to me, especially when it comes to you."

"House, can you just—"

"The only other options are Cameron, Thirteen, and Cuddy," said House, "and since the first two are already taken…" House let his voice trail off as he judged Wilson's reaction.

"I'm not seeing Cuddy."

"Oh my god!" exclaimed House. "You're seeing Cuddy?!"

"I just told you I _wasn't_ seeing Cuddy. Why would you—"

"Why wouldn't you tell me that?" asked House. "I get why you haven't told me in the past: you didn't tell me when you were sleeping with your patient because you were trying to protect your medical license, you didn't tell me when you were sleeping with Amber because you were trying to protect her, but what would you need to protect Cuddy from?"

"This," replied Wilson sarcastically as he motioned to House.

"So you _are_ sleeping with Cuddy."

Wilson sighed. He'd been found out, and there was no use hiding it any longer. "I haven't actually… slept… with her yet."

House's eyes nearly widened. "How hard could it be to get _her_ in the sack?"

"Not all of us can just have sex every time our subconscious feels like it," snarked Wilson, referring to House's delusion of Cuddy.

House glared at Wilson with narrow eyes. How dare he go there! This meant war. He stood up from his seat on the couch and was prepared to leave when a thought occurred to him. "That's why you didn't tell me, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You thought I still had feelings for her, so you didn't want me to know that _you_ were seeing her."

Wilson's guilty visage was answer enough. "House, I—"

House shook his head and shrugged. "I don't care."

"House—"

"No, I mean it," replied House genuinely, yet his countenance appeared betrayed, either because of the fact that his best friend had stolen the girl he once had feelings for or because he'd lied about it. And yet despite Wilson's deception, House didn't really feel angered or saddened. He honestly didn't care that Wilson was with Cuddy; he was more upset by the fact that they had both thought that he couldn't handle the news and therefore lied to him about it.

Before either man could say anything more, though, Cuddy knocked on and opened Wilson's door, slightly surprised to see House right behind it. "Oh," she said. "I didn't realize I was interrupting something."

"You're not," replied House. "I'll leave you two alone. Just remember that the wall between our offices is thin." He gave Wilson a very conspicuous wink and left the office, closing the door behind him.

Cuddy spun to face Wilson, and she looked at him curiously. "What was that all about?"

Wilson cupped his hands shamefully in his face.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "You told him?!"

"I didn't tell him!" shouted Wilson. "He just knew! He's House!"

Cuddy glared at him skeptically. "He couldn't have known unless he had some reason for knowing. You may not have told him, but you obviously did something that let him know we were seeing each other!"

Wilson almost laughed. She should know by now that it's impossible to keep anything a secret from House for too long. "Can't we just be happy that it's out now and that we don't have to worry about keeping it a secret anymore?"

Cuddy sighed and after a moment asked a question. "How did he take the news?"

Wilson didn't know what to tell her. He had seen the look of betrayal on his best friend's face, yet for some reason he didn't think it had anything to do with the fact that he was with Cuddy. He figured that it had more to do with the fact that they had doubted his mental wellbeing and then lied to him.

When Foreman, Hadley, and Taub returned to their patient, she was finally conscious and ready to be taken for an MRI. She still seemed distressed, though, when she saw Foreman. She refused to let him push her wheelchair because, apparently, she had porphyrophobia and was afraid of the color purple (the same color of Foreman's shirt).

Foreman rolled his eyes at the ridiculous phobia. "Fine," he said, and he looked over at Hadley. "Can you get her, Thirteen?"

Mirai nearly squealed. "Did you just say Thirteen?!"

"Let me guess," sighed Hadley, "you have triskaidekaphobia… the fear of the number thirteen."

Mirai's look of terror confirmed her suspicion.

"I'll push her," suggested Taub. "We'll meet you down in Radiology."

"Radiology?!" shouted the radiophobic patient. "You're going to radiate me?! No, no! There has to be some other test!" She began to squirm and tried to get up from her wheelchair, but Foreman pushed her back while Hadley tried to console her by informing her that an MRI was created via magnetic fields rather than radiation. Mirai seemed to calm down a little, but she was still obviously upset by the fact that not only would she have to be treated by doctors, but by doctors with purple shirts and evil nicknames.

When the team finally managed to get Mirai into the MRI machine (a rather difficult task for a claustrophobic patient), they had to remind her not to move throughout the procedure.

"I'm not moving," insisted Mirai whose tremors seemed to have progressed into involuntary muscle contractions.

Images of the patient's brain appeared on the screen in the viewing room, and Foreman was shocked when he saw the results. "There's no tumor."

"No," agreed Taub, "but there are some plaques on her thalamus."

Hadley was confused. "Hypothalamic problems would cause difficulties regulating body temperature, not thalamic problems."

The three doctors sighed and looked at each other for the answer that nobody had.


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

After Cuddy had finished having her discussion with Wilson in his office, she trudged over to House's office. She wanted to apologize for lying to him, but he really didn't seem to care. Cuddy was pleased to know that maybe he had finally moved on, but then she began to wonder who he had moved on to. Surely _he_ wasn't the one keeping a secret relationship from _them_! Cuddy immediately dismissed the thought. She didn't know anybody who would want a relationship with House. It wasn't that he wasn't a desirable man, not at all. It's just that all of the women who _did_ desire him were currently involved with somebody else: Stacy, Cameron, herself. And Cuddy didn't know of anyone else in the hospital who could tolerate him quite like she and Cameron could. Then maybe it was someone outside of the hospital. Cuddy shook the thought from her mind and tried to stop thinking about the relationship that House probably wasn't even involved in. She returned to doing her actual job and ordered House to complete his clinic duty while his team ran the MRI on their patient.

And so, House grudgingly headed down to the clinic in the hopes that his patient would have some life-threatening emergency that would excuse him from his duties. Unfortunately, he had heard nothing from Foreman by the time he'd arrived in the clinic, so he was forced to take his first patient. A nurse called her into the exam room occupied by House.

House watched as a slender, young teenage girl entered the exam room followed by her obviously worried mother.

"I'm worried about her," stated the mother, as if it weren't obvious enough. "She's usually so healthy and energetic, but lately she's been feeling nauseated and tired."

House inspected the seemingly healthy girl who appeared to be avoiding her mother's eyes. _She knows what's wrong with her_, thought House, _and I bet it has something to do with all that 'energy' she's been having_. Nonetheless, he continued with his examination. He had an inkling of what the probable cause for the girl's symptoms was, but he drew some blood to be sure. The mother thanked him, and he inspected another patient—a child with a runny nose—while waiting for the teenage girl's test results. He reviewed them, and, much to his delight, found that his first diagnosis was correct. He reentered the exam room to find the mother impatiently waiting and the teenage girl laying down on the exam table, apparently in boredom. "She's pregnant."

The mother didn't believe House, though. "No, no, that's impossible. She doesn't even have a boyfriend."

House's eyebrows rose momentarily at the claim, but he lowered them quickly.

The mother turned to her daughter who had by now placed a look of shock and innocence on her face. "I haven't even kissed a boy!" she shouted.

"You see?" asserted the mother. "The test must be wrong. She hasn't even been with a boy."

House wandered to the window facing outdoors and stared at the sky.

Curious, the mother asked him what he was looking at.

"Oh nothing," replied House, "it's just the last time I saw this, a star appeared in the East."

She looked at him curiously.

"I was just waiting for another one I guess." House shrugged off his sarcastic Biblical allusion and went to leave the exam room. "I always wondered why Joseph didn't get mad at Mary for having someone else's kid…" he thought aloud as he closed the door behind him.

At that moment, the mother turned angrily to her daughter who was now blushing.

When House left the exam room, he was happy to see that Foreman was searching for him. Perhaps this meant he would get out of clinic duty early!

"We've got a problem," insisted Foreman who looked tired yet again.

"Where are Thirteen and Taub?"

"They're trying to stabilize the patient," replied Foreman. "She had an arrhythmia."

House was waiting for the interesting part of this speech.

"Her heart started beating too slowly, so we gave her epinephrine to speed it up," stated Foreman, "but then her heart started beating too quickly, so we had to slow it down."

House nodded in understanding. "So then you had to speed it back up again."

Foreman nodded. "She can't control her core temperature _or_ her heart rate."

"Page Thirteen and Taub and tell them to meet us in the office after they've stabilized the patient."

Foreman sighed. "You mean _if_ they stabilize the patient."

House and Foreman walked back up to their office together, and Foreman informed House of their patient's involuntary muscle contractions along the way. They sat in the office and awaited the return of the other two members of their team.

Hadley and Taub finally walked in the office and plopped down in their chairs, clearly tired after trying to stabilize the patient.

"Her heart rate is stable for now," said Hadley.

"What did the MRI show?" asked House.

Taub produced the printed scans for House. "Her hypothalamus was clean, and there are no tumors. She does have plaques on her thalamus though."

"This has to be hormonal," asserted Hadley who still believed in her last diagnosis. "What else could cause an inability to reach homeostatic heart rhythms and temperature?"

"It's not hormonal," replied Foreman who was still sure that his neurological diagnosis was correct. "That wouldn't explain the other symptoms."

Taub watched their pseudo-argument with boredom until an idea popped into his head. "Maybe it's both," he suggested. "Maybe she has a neuro-endocrine disorder."

House nodded. "I like it. The problem isn't that her hormones can't regulate her body; it's that her brain can't regulate her hormones."

Foreman and Hadley didn't seem to have any objections to the diagnosis. The only question was which neuro-endocrine disorder it was.

"If that's the case," said Foreman, "then there are a ton of candidates."

"Degenerative diseases are most likely," agreed Hadley. "It could be Alzheimer's, Huntington's, or even Parkinson's—especially now that her tremors have become involuntary muscle contractions."

"Or it could be amyloidosis or multiple sclerosis," suggest Taub.

House considered all of the possibilities before finally deciding that they needed more information before they could make a diagnosis. "We need to biopsy those plaques."

"You want to stick a needle into her thalamus?" asked Hadley in shock.

Without answering her question, though, House walked out of his office and went in search of Cuddy in hers.

When he finally found Cuddy sitting behind her desk, he asked her for her consent to complete the test.

Cuddy was just as shocked as Hadley had been. "You want to biopsy her thalamus?!"

"No," replied House, "I want to biopsy the plaques that are _in_ her thalamus."

"What are you looking for?"

House shrugged. "It could be amyloidosis, multiple sclerosis, or a ton of other degenerative diseases."

Cuddy was still shocked, and she didn't know what to tell him. "There has to be some other test that you can do first to help you narrow down your choices."

"There are no other possibilities," insisted House. "The tox-screen was negative, so it's not drugs. The blood tests were normal, so it's not an infection. The MRI showed no cancer. We've run out of other options. We have to get a piece of those plaques."

Cuddy hesitated. "Make sure she's aware of the risks."

House rolled his eyes. He didn't envy whichever fellow would have to get the consent form signed. He assumed that it would be rather difficult to convince such a fearful patient to agree to a life-threatening procedure. Nonetheless, House returned to his office and instructed his team to go get the patient's consent and do a brain biopsy.

Amazingly, Taub (who the patient was least afraid of) managed to persuade Mirai into having the procedure done, but her irrational fears only made the biopsy a nightmare. Of course, the patient cannot be anesthetized while undergoing a brain biopsy because cognitive function must be checked regularly. And unfortunately for the surgical team completing the biopsy (in this case, Chase, Taub, Foreman, and several nurses), in addition to her fear of needles, Mirai also had xanthophobia, or the fear of the color yellow (which, of course, was the color of the gowns, gloves, and masks worn by the surgical team). Yet by some great miracle, the team managed to remove a piece of the plaque from Mirai's thalamus without her dying. Now all that was left to do was examine it under a microscope.


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

It was nearly one o'clock in the morning when House rolled over in his bed. He stared off into the darkness wondering why he was experiencing such difficulty sleeping again. He dreaded a relapse in his mental illness, yet he knew that it was unlikely. As often as he enjoyed sleep, insomnia was something that had troubled him for years, maybe even his whole life. He was never completely sure why he had such difficulty sleeping well, but he had a feeling that maybe his restlessness was a result of some underlying emotional conflict. Still, he couldn't figure out why he would have such trouble sleeping on this night of all nights. He'd had a few drinks. He wasn't particularly stressed with his work. In fact, he was very close to a diagnosis now that his team was biopsying a piece of their patient's brain. So then what was it that was keeping him awake?

Surely he wasn't tackling any personal issues at the moment. He and Wilson were on as good of terms as ever, and things with Cuddy were finally returning to the way they used to be. He briefly contemplated whether or not Cuddy could be at the heart of his issues, but he dismissed the thought. He'd come to realize that he didn't really want _her_ in particular; he just didn't want to be alone, and at the time, she had been the woman most accessible to him. Was that what was bothering him? Was he still tired of being alone after all that he had been through? House heaved an annoyed sigh at the thought. He was happy—or rather, he was no longer as miserable as he had been before. He didn't want his life to change. He wasn't even sure if he'd ever be ready for it to change. He'd fallen into a comfortable routine with people whose company he actually enjoyed from time to time (although he would never let them know this). Wilson and Cuddy had become closer friends to him than ever before it seemed, and he was even finding himself becoming closer to Cameron and Chase in recent times. He'd never admit it, but he missed having them on his team. He had always thought that the two of them in addition to Foreman made up the best team that he'd ever led. Perhaps that was why it had been so hard for him to let them go at first. But then why was he still sulking? He had a good—or rather, adequate—team, and he still found time to consult with Chase and Cameron from time to time.

Before he could figure out the reason behind his sleeplessness, though, his cell phone rang on the nightstand next to him, and a digital light shone in the darkness of his bedroom. He briefly considered ignoring the call, but he had a feeling that it might be Foreman calling with the biopsy results. He grabbed the phone just before it went to voicemail and answered it. "Get the biopsy results yet?"

"Yeah," said Foreman. "The plaques are comprised of amyloid proteins."

"So she has amyloidosis?"

Foreman hesitated. "Yeah, but I think she has secondary amyloidosis. The build-up of amyloid proteins alone wouldn't have caused all of her symptoms. She has some underlying condition."

House rolled his eyes. The biopsy hadn't been very helpful then; all of their diagnoses were back on the table. "You'd see amyloid protein build-up with pretty much all of the degenerative diseases we listed."

Foreman knew that House was right. "So how do we know which one she has?"

"Run a genetic test for Huntington's," decided House.

"Don't you think Parkinson's is a little bit more likely?"

"Well the only tests for Parkinson's, we've already done, and we still aren't sure."

Foreman nodded. "If it's not Huntington's, then it's probably Parkinson's. I'll run the test and call you back when I get the results." Foreman hung up the phone and left to draw blood from the patient for a genetic test.

House flipped his phone shut and placed it back in its spot on the nightstand. He didn't even close his eyes, though, because he was already prepared for a dreamless night. In fact, he had lost all hope of sleep about an hour ago, and Foreman's phone call was sure to keep him awake now. He tossed and turned, all the while contemplating possible diagnoses for his patient. What single disease could cause all of the symptoms on his whiteboard? House shook his head violently, both angry and frustrated that he hadn't been able to sleep. He needed the rest to help him think right now, but he knew he would never get any. Damn that maddening insomnia!

Then it hit him: insomnia. Wasn't that the patient's first symptom?

He wondered why one of the least significant symptoms had popped into his head, but then he realized that the plaques' position in the thalamus rather than the hypothalamus wasn't strange at all. The thalamus was responsible for sleep, and growing plaques in the thalamus would make sleeping increasingly difficult. Then he also realized that the plaques were localized to the thalamus, which wasn't consistent with the degenerative diseases that he and Foreman had discussed. If one of those diseases had progressed enough to cause all of the patient's symptoms, then the plaques would probably be found in multiple parts of the brain. There must be something wrong with the thalamus, but what?

What were the other symptoms? House tried his hardest to remember the long list and managed to recall the insomnia, phobias, fever, panic attacks, paranoia, difficulty speaking, involuntary muscle contractions, hallucinations, and sphincter disturbances. What thalamic disorder could cause all of those symptoms?

House mentally ran through a list of diseases before deciding that none of them fit when suddenly, his first hunch reappeared in the back of his mind: insomnia. He knew the answer, it was in there somewhere, but he couldn't quite grasp it.

Of course! Insomnia!

The phone rang again, and this time, House immediately grabbed it. "The test was negative," predicted House.

"Yeah," said Foreman, not really surprised. "It must be Parkinson's Disease."

"It's not Parkinson's Disease," replied House.

"Okay… what is it?"

"What did her parents die of?"

"They died in a car crash. Why?"

"Damn," muttered House. "How much blood do you have left?"

"What? Why?"

"Do you have enough left to run another genetic test?"

"What are you looking for?"

"Check for a PrP gene mutation," replied House. He rose from his bed and started getting dressed.

"You're thinking a prion disease?"

"I'm coming in," said House without giving Foreman an answer. "I'll be there in ten minutes." He hung up the phone, grabbed his cane and keys, and dashed out the door as quickly as a cripple could.

When House arrived at the hospital, he immediately walked to the patient's room and wasn't surprised to find her awake. After all, like him, she suffered from insomnia; she would come to learn, though, just how serious hers was. House _was_ surprised, however, to find Cameron also inside the room, attending to Mirai. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking on your patient," she replied.

"Obviously," he responded, "_your_ being the key word in that phrase."

Cameron left the side of Mirai's bed and approached House. "She used to be my patient."

"_Used to_ being the key words in that phrase," retorted House.

"I was just running a follow-up."

"At two o'clock in the morning?"

"I got stuck with the night shift in the ER, and I thought I would stop by here on my way out."

House stared at her with skeptical eyes. He knew that she was lying; he just didn't know why. "You were at work all day today; you didn't get the night shift. You chose to be here."

"Why would I actually _want_ to be here in the middle of the night, especially with _your _patient?" She ignored the fact that House knew that she'd been working all day.

"Exactly."

Cameron was saved from having to reveal her true reason for being at the hospital in the middle of the night when Mirai spoke up. "What are you doing here?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," snapped House.

Cameron rolled her eyes. "I think she was talking about you."

"Why would she be talking about me? _I'm_ her doctor. Unlike you, I have a reason to be here."

Cameron turned to look at Mirai before returning her focused stare to House. "Care to share that reason?"

House continued to glare at Cameron, but he finally looked at Mirai. "I know what's wrong with you."

Much to everyone's surprise, though, Mirai did not seem hopeful or happy or even the slightest bit relieved. She simply seemed more fearful than ever. She shook her head.

House was confused. If she didn't want a diagnosis, why had she come to see him? Then again, Cameron had nearly forced her to see House. What was she afraid of? "You're afraid of a diagnosis?"

Mirai nodded slightly.

"Monopathophobia," mumbled House.

This statement earned a glare from Cameron. "I thought you didn't have the names of all the phobias memorized," she stated sarcastically.

"Just the interesting ones," replied House casually before looking at his patient. "You're afraid of a definite illness."

Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, Mirai sought refuge in her one distraction: fortune-telling (or in her case, observation). "Y-You are chaotic and unc-conventional."

"You read that on my palms?" snarked House who was already annoyed with the situation.

Mirai shook her weak head. "Your eyebrows." Well, according to ancient fortune-telling practices, she would have gotten that from his eyebrows. Honestly, it hadn't been hard for her to discern that her doctor was chaotic and unconventional from his behavior. It was for that reason that House wasn't very impressed. Nevertheless, Mirai continued her observations. "You are c-chaotic and unconventional," she repeated, "b-but you are also very n-narrow in your own views."

Cameron stared at Mirai, wondering where she was going. She looked at House and noticed that he was still unfazed.

Mirai continued on her same point. "Y-You are c-calculating and intolerable of others—"

"Wow, she's good," House joked to Cameron in an attempt to validate Mirai's statement of the obvious.

"—but you are g-good at assessing the rest of the world."

"Like how I know you're a big, fat phony who's just avoiding the fact that she's sick," House joked caustically.

Mirai nearly frowned but continued her observations. She knew that her doctor was only deflecting his own issues onto her, and that notion led her to her next conclusion. "You're cautious and r-reserved because you are af-fraid of the t-truth."

"Looks to me like I'm not the one hiding from the truth," replied House, and he was about to give her a diagnosis, but she continued speaking.

"Your eyes," she continued, "they're like hers."

House narrowed his eyes in confusion. Whose eyes? Cameron's eyes? He looked at Cameron and back at his patient. "What are you talking about?" He was clearly incredulous and annoyed.

"They're deep," she responded. "It m-means th-that you are cautious and reserved—"

"Yeah, you already said that."

"—but also r-romantic."

Cameron snorted. "Too bad," she joked. "You were doing so well, too." House romantic? Never.

Mirai shook her head. She could see it in his eyes. She could see the way he looked at Dr. Cameron; she could hear the way he talked to her. She could even see how he avoided any personal comment with a sarcastic deflection. She knew that she was right. She delivered the same observation to House that she had given to Cameron. "B-but it also means that you are too realistic, and you n-never let yourself g-get too close to anyone."

House rolled his eyes. This was like talking to Wilson. "Can't we just get to the part where I tell you what's killing you?"

"I'm dying?" asked Mirai with a frown. She shook the thought from her head. "Y-You should t-take some advice from D-Dr. Cameron."

"Why?" House asked sharply. "Because she's gone gaga for the new hubby?"

Mirai seemed sincerely confused by the question. "No," she said, "because I t-told her the same thing."

House smirked, and he stared at Cameron who was beginning to blush. "That's why you're here, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" snapped Cameron.

"You're just here avoiding Chase."

"That's ridiculous," claimed Cameron. "I thought that we agreed she was a phony. How can you trust her observations?"

"I'm not a ph-phony," interrupted Mirai.

House turned his attention back to her. "No," he agreed. "You're a coward."

"I am n-not a—"

"You can't handle a diagnosis because you're afraid of the implications."

"And you're not?" asked Mirai with fear in her voice. "I-If you weren't afraid of the imp-plications, then you wouldn't have t-trouble getting c-close to anyone."

Cameron turned to House and contemplated whether or not Mirai had been correct in observing that House was a romantic at heart.

House ignored Cameron's stare and Mirai's comment, though. "You have Fatal Familial Insomnia."

Mirai didn't like the sound of that, especially the first word.

Cameron stared at House in shock. "That's incredibly rare," she noted. "There are only about 50 families in the world who carry that disease."

"It's genetic?" asked Mirai.

House nodded. "I'm still waiting on the results of the test, but it explains all of your symptoms."

As if on cue, Foreman entered the room and was just as surprised as House had been upon seeing Cameron. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't even bother," said House. "I've already tried."

Cameron just rolled her eyes at the two of them. She said nothing.

Foreman returned his attention to the medicine. "The test was positive. She has a prion disease, but we don't know which one."

House shook his head. "Yes we do."

Cameron was stunned, and she delivered the diagnosis to Foreman. "She has Fatal Familial Insomnia."

Foreman was just as shocked. He didn't argue, though, because it made sense.

"W-What does that m-mean?" asked Mirai, now more afraid than ever.

"A genetic mutation is causing the formation of insoluble proteins in your thalamus," said Cameron.

"Am I g-going to be okay?" she asked. Based on the look in their eyes, though, she knew that their answers would be bleak. She didn't want to hear it, but House told her anyway.

"No," he said. "That's why they call it _Fatal_ Familial Insomnia."

"I'm going to die?" She choked as tears began to fall from her eyes.

Foreman nodded, and Cameron bowed her head, but House felt the need to tell her precisely _how_ she was going to die. "Your symptoms will persist for about three more months. You'll start to develop stupor, and then you'll undergo the stages of dementia. You'll lose the ability to speak. You'll be mute."

"House—" interrupted Cameron in an attempt to protect Mirai from the glum details, but she had no effect on House.

"Your insomnia will continue to get worse until eventually, you won't be able to sleep at all. Nine months from now, you'll die of insomnia."

At this point, Cameron finally grabbed House by the arm and dragged him from the room. She stared angrily into his crystal blue eyes. "How could you say that?"

"What are you talking about?" House pretended to be befuddled. "She needed to know."

"Well maybe you could have just told her that she would die in about nine months."

"Right," shot House, "so she can be surprised when she suddenly can't talk or sleep."

Cameron shook her head at him. Just a second ago, she had been sure that there was something deep inside of him that cared, something—as Mirai had put it—romantic. Maybe she had been wrong. "I'm going to go get some sleep," she stated before turning around.

House watched her walk down the hall, and when she disappeared behind elevator doors, he stared through the glass walls into his patient's room. Inside, Foreman was consoling Mirai. House finally decided to return home, although he knew he would never be able to fall back asleep.


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

The month of September had finally arrived, bringing with it cool weather, autumn colors, and the prospect of a wedding between Drs. Foreman and Hadley. In fact, it was the day before the wedding, and those closest to the couple were already looking forward to the event. As already established, the gathering would be small and personal, including only those friends and family dearest to the two.

Cameron was one of the lucky invitees (Foreman had finally admitted that maybe they were friends, not just colleagues), and she was finishing up her shift in the ER before visiting a fellow wedding invitee. Surprisingly enough, though, this person was not Chase.

Cameron entered the office of her former boss via the glass doorway. "Hey," she greeted him, but he had no response other than to look up at her and acknowledge her presence. Seeing this, she continued. "Have you bought Foreman and Thirteen's wedding gift yet?"

House looked at her in surprise. Had she really expected him to go to the wedding? But then why would she ask such a question? Either she too had yet to buy them a gift, which was completely uncharacteristic of her, or she was here regarding another issue and simply needed an easier opening. "What are you doing here?"

Cameron was taken aback by the bluntness of the question. "I'll take that as a no." She studied him briefly. "You aren't even going, are you?"

"Why would I go?" asked House casually, as if it was a silly question to begin with.

"They both work for you," she started, and seeing his lack of a reaction, she continued. "You've been friends with Foreman for almost six years now!"

House rolled his eyes. "Foreman and I aren't friends."

Cameron frowned at the response. She hesitated before asking, "Are we friends?"

House met her eyes with his, and for a moment neither person spoke. House ignored her question when he did speak, though. "Why would I go to the wedding?" he repeated his last question. "I didn't go to _your_ wedding."

Cameron wondered if, by some logic, that meant that they were friends. She smirked at him. "I think you had a prior engagement on that particular day."

House bit his lower lip, wondering why he had even brought that wretched day up. It had been one of the saddest days of his life; not only had he been institutionalized for insanity on that day, but Cameron and Chase had gotten married. _Wait_, thought House, _why would I be upset that they got married?_ He dismissed the thought, still wondering why she was here. She had never answered his first question. "You knew I wouldn't be going to this wedding," he stated, "and yet you're here."

Cameron stared at him, waiting for his point.

House continued. "So I can't help but wonder what your real reason is for being here."

Cameron hesitated, but she knew that she could not delay the inevitable. She needed to talk to him. "I was wondering if you'd had a chance to think about what you're going to do while Foreman and Thirteen were on their extended honeymoon."

"I figured I would take some cases, solve them, save some lives," he replied, "you know, the usual."

His joke almost made Cameron smile in the midst of this awkward conversation. "I was talking about who you were going to replace them with."

"I knew what you meant," he responded but gave her no other answer regarding the matter. "Did you ever get a chance to talk to Chase about this?"

She eyed him closely, wondering why he even cared what Chase thought. "I told you the first time. He's okay with me coming back," she lied. "Besides, this is my decision, not his."

House was slightly shocked by Cameron's response. Honestly, he agreed with her. This choice was hers, not Chase's. Still, he was surprised that Cameron thought so too. He'd imagined her being the type of person to want to talk every little decision over with her partner before taking any action. Or maybe she _was_ that type of person; she just didn't feel the need to talk to Chase in particular. He was becoming increasingly curious with the situation that Cameron had put him in. "Fine," he caved. He really didn't care who replaced Foreman and Hadley, as long as it wasn't some idiot that he couldn't tolerate. It wasn't as if they'd be gone for too long of a time. Despite his previous indifference, though, he found himself feeling increasingly excited with the situation. He wasn't quite sure why, but he hoped that he would find another case soon. Perhaps he was simply excited to work with Cameron again.

Cameron smiled and nodded her thanks. "I guess since you won't be at the wedding that I'll see you on Thursday." That was the day after the wedding and the day that Foreman and Hadley left for their honeymoon.

House nodded in return and was secretly eager for the day to come.

After her conversation with House, Cameron made her way down to the locker room to prepare for her return home. Just as she arrived, though, she found Chase leaving. "Oh," she said with a smile, "I didn't know you were already ready to go."

"I was going to tell you," he replied, "but I couldn't find you. The nurses said you'd already left."

"I was just upstairs discussing something with House," she said casually as she entered the locker room. "Just give me a few minutes, and I'll be ready to go."

Chase found her excuse rather curious, so he followed her into the locker room as she gathered all of her things. "What did you have to discuss with House?" he probed.

Cameron momentarily considered lying by claiming to have found another case for him, but she decided against it. She knew that he needed to know, and he would find out eventually. At least this way she'd be able to avoid an argument. "I'm going to fill in for Foreman and Hadley while they're on their honeymoon," she replied just as casually as she had been prior to his prying. "Did you remember to pick up that gift for the wedding, by the way?"

"Yeah," said Chase, still interested in her discussion with House. "I thought you weren't going to take that position."

Cameron chuckled. "Relax," she said, "it's only temporary. One month from now I'll be back in the ER." She grabbed the rest of her belongings and closed her locker. She still had a smile on her face, but she noticed that Chase did not. "Does this really bother you that much?"

Chase didn't want to seem too possessive or controlling, but he didn't know how to avoid coming across as such. "I told you it would be a bad idea."

"Chase," she tried to reassure him. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. "What's wrong?" she asked. "It's just a job. I'm allowed to make my own decisions regarding my career."

"Yeah," agreed Chase, "it's just that usually married couples discuss these things together."

Cameron rolled her eyes at the naïve and romantic notion. "I didn't realize that a marriage constituted the end of my independence."

"You know that this isn't about you being independent," snapped Chase.

Cameron stared at him square in the eyes and crossed her arms. "Then what _is_ this about?" She knew what he was implying, but she wanted to hear him say it out loud.

Chase held his tongue, not sure how to go about answering her question. He knew that she understood precisely why he was upset. He didn't feel the need to say it.

Cameron grew annoyed with Chase's silence. "You're never going to drop this, are you?"

"Drop what?"

Cameron shook her head. "I married _you_, not him. I thought you didn't doubt our marriage."

"I didn't," he replied, "but _you_ did. I don't doubt that I love you, but—"

"But what?" Cameron interjected. "You doubt that _I_ love _you_?" She was angered with him. "Besides," she continued, "I already told you. I didn't doubt our marriage; I just couldn't let my husband's sperm go."

Chase shook his head. "So all those rationalizations about _why_ you kept his sperm? Maybe you just weren't ready to let the last part of your husband go, but that doesn't make any of your other reasons false."

Cameron was on the verge of crying. What was he trying to say? She looked at her watch and then back up at him. "We should get going home," she digressed. "It's getting late, and we have to get up early in the morning."

Chase nodded curtly, well aware that this conversation was all but over.


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Foreman and Hadley's wedding was held outdoors in a pleasantly wooded area near a lake. Being September, the leaves were already changing into magnificent shades of red and orange and yellow. Dry brown leaves blanketed the forest floor, and a crisp chill filled the air. The ceremony was held in the early afternoon, but the reception was sure to last well into the night.

The guest list had proved rather small (much smaller than even Cameron and Chase's wedding) in the end. After all, Foreman wasn't really comfortable with the idea of a large wedding, and Hadley was simply happy to be experiencing such joy in her shortened life; she just wanted to share it with her closest friends and family members. Foreman's father attended the wedding, but unfortunately he had left Foreman's mother at home (her illness was progressing). Hadley's father was also in attendance along with her aunt who had remained dear to her after her mother's passing. Aside from them, few family members were present. As for friends, Cameron and Chase, as well as Taub and his wife, attended the wedding. Wilson escorted Cuddy to the ceremony. It was the first outward sign that they were a couple, but luckily no one who would object to their relationship was in attendance. In addition to those close friends, several other doctors and nurses from the hospital came. Other old friends who Foreman and Thirteen had met in either college or medical school were also present. House had been invited but refrained from coming (as predicted). And in the end, only around twenty to thirty chairs were necessary for all of the guests.

It was still nearly a half hour until the wedding would begin, but the guests were all arriving and taking their seats. Wilson arrived with Cuddy and her daughter Rachel. They sat together, and it wasn't long before Cameron arrived with Chase. The couple sat next to Wilson and Cuddy because Cameron wanted to play with Rachel as they waited for the wedding to begin. Cameron didn't really question Wilson and Cuddy on their relationship, but she sensed that they had finally taken that step forward. She was very happy for them, and she knew that despite Wilson's track record, they would be a happy couple. Rachel already seemed accustomed to the arrangement. Chase observed as his wife playfully cooed at the little baby, and he wondered if maybe children were in their near future. Then again, with all of their recent arguments, he wasn't sure if it was the best step quite yet. Even Wilson sensed the tension between the two of them as they sat down. He noticed how Cameron gave more of her attention to the little baby than to her own husband, and even as the wedding commenced, he noticed how little contact the married couple made.

It wasn't long before the wedding started, and a string quartet strung melodious notes as members of the bridal party—which, like the guest list, was small—made their way down the aisle. Foreman entered first in a dark suit, followed by his best man, a friend from medical school who also wore a dark suit but with a brown-orange shirt. The flower girl and ring bearer, two of Hadley's younger relatives, entered next. The maid of honor, Hadley's best friend from college, followed in a dark brown dress with the slightest hint of violet-red in it, and she carried a bouquet of fall colored leaves, flowers, and berries. Finally, Hadley walked down the aisle carrying a bouquet similar to, but grander than, that of her maid of honor. The front of her hair was loosely pulled back with a tie of autumn flowers and berries, and she wore a simple yet elegant gown. It was sleeveless and white, but pale brown stitching etched across the top of the dress, and a ribbon of the same color wrapped around her waist. It fit in with the wedding's theme perfectly, yet it still allowed her to stand out on her special day.

The ceremony was not religious (much to the dismay of Foreman's father), but emotionally moving nonetheless. The couple exchanged simple, yet touching, vows before finally kissing and making their way back down the aisle followed by the bridal party.

As had been predicted, the reception lasted well into the night. It, too, was held outside, only this time, a shining sheet of wood on the forest floor served as a dance floor. The floor was outlined with tables for guests, and it was covered with a dark brown tent. Orange lights in the shape of orbs lined the tent, casting a warm glow on the party. Cameron observed these orbs from her seat; they reminded her of pumpkins and Halloween. The bowls of candy corn on the tables also reminded her of the upcoming holiday. She knew that Cuddy was planning a special benefit for Halloween night, but she wasn't quite sure yet if she would attend. Before she could think anymore on the matter, a finger gently tapped her on the shoulder, and she spun to see that Wilson was standing right behind her. She smiled warmly at him.

"Would you care to dance?" he asked her, holding out a hand. Cuddy was currently taking a break from dancing as she attended to her daughter, and Chase was conversing with Foreman and Hadley at their table.

"Sure." Cameron nodded happily and took Wilson's hand.

Wilson led her to the center of the dance floor where other couples were still dancing even though the sun had recently descended in the sky. He commenced a friendly dance with Cameron, but he had an ulterior motive for doing so. "So did you enjoy the wedding?" he asked her casually, trying to build up to his actual question.

Cameron nodded again. "It was very nice. Thirteen looked so pretty." She seemed to pause for a moment. "She and Foreman must be very happy."

Wilson chuckled. "I would hope so," he replied. "It is their wedding day after all."

There was an awkward silence between the two as Cameron seemed to be considering something.

Wilson, who saw his last comment as a suitable transition for his real question, broke the silence. "How are you and Chase doing?"

Cameron seemed slightly taken aback by the question, but she knew she shouldn't have been surprised. Wilson was always prying in the personal relationships of his friends; his intentions were good, but he could come across as a little intrusive or pushy at times. "Why do you ask?" Cameron was trying to be as discrete as possible when it came to her issues with Chase. As genial as Wilson was, he wasn't always known for his secret-keeping abilities, and she didn't want her marital problems to become the next hot topic on the hospital grapevine.

Wilson gave her his oh-please look before replying, "Well, you were giving Cuddy's daughter more attention than you were giving _him_ during the ceremony," he began.

This earned an annoyed glare from Cameron. "I enjoy playing with Cuddy's kid, so I must be having problems with my husband?"

Wilson shrugged lightly. "There's also the fact that you're here dancing with me instead of him."

Cameron rolled her eyes and stopped dancing immediately after he'd spoken.

Wilson, who had seen what he'd done, tried to console her. "I didn't mean to—"

Cameron shook her head. "Why does it matter?" she asked as she started to walk back to her table. "My problems with Chase are none of your business."

So they _were _having problems. Wilson followed her as she walked. "Cameron," he said, "I didn't mean to upset you." He grabbed her shoulder in an attempt to get her to turn around and face him—an attempt which succeeded.

Cameron said nothing in response but looked into his caring eyes. She knew that he was only trying to help; it wasn't fair for her to lash out on him when she was really angry with Chase. She sighed and returned to her seat.

Wilson sat down next to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Cameron returned to her business of observing the orange orbs that decorated the tent. She finally decided to talk, though. If she couldn't talk to Wilson about this, then who _could_ she talk to? The answer should have been Chase, yet she wasn't ready to talk to him. She sighed before relaying their fight. "I'm rejoining House's team," she stated simply.

Wilson seemed surprised by this new piece of information. House had told him weeks ago that Cameron wanted to return, but as far as Wilson knew, House wasn't bringing her back on his staff. Why hadn't his best friend told him anything about Cameron returning? Usually, House only hid things when there was some emotional conflict involved.

Seeing Wilson's surprise, Cameron continued. "It's only temporary," she said. "I'm just helping him out while Foreman and Thirteen are on their honeymoon."

"So that's what this is all about?" he asked skeptically. "Why would you guys fight about that? Why should Chase care where you work?"

"That's what I said," claimed Cameron, but she realized Wilson needed more of an explanation than that. She hid her eyes from Wilson as she said, "He seems to think that me working with House again is a bad idea."

"Why would it—" he began to say, but stopped suddenly. Perhaps the reason that House had yet to tell him about Cameron's return was the very same reason that Cameron had fought with Chase. "Oh."

"I can't believe he thinks something is going to happen," she stated angrily. "He doesn't trust me."

"That's not true," Wilson tried to comfort her. "He loves you."

"Maybe," she agreed with him, "but that doesn't mean he trusts me."

"Love _is_ trust," replied Wilson. "You can't have one without the other."

Cameron frowned at this statement. "He doubted my love for him."

Wilson, in turn, frowned. He felt bad for his friends. "Well," he began cautiously, "_do_ you love him?"

Cameron glared angrily at Wilson. "What kind of a question is that?"

"A simple one."

Cameron sighed. "Of course I love him!" She paused before adding, "He's my husband!" as if it instantly justified her answer.

Wilson could see the fearful uncertainty in her eyes, and despite her response, he knew her real answer. He sighed. "You should talk to Chase about this."

"What is there to talk about?" she mumbled. "He wants me to give up the job that I've already accepted. I'm not going to do that."

"Even if it means having to give _Chase_ up?" He looked knowingly into Cameron's eyes. Maybe a job didn't have the power to break up their marriage, but Wilson knew from experience that House did.

"If Chase really loves me, he wouldn't ask me to choose—"

"—between him and House?" asked Wilson.

"—between him and my job," finished Cameron for him.

Wilson shook his head. "Your career is not on the line here," he said. "It's not as if he's asking you to take an easier job for him. He's not asking you to leave medicine." He paused. "Hell, this isn't even a job, Cameron; it's a temporary position."

"Exactly!" Cameron nearly shouted. "So why does he have such a problem with it?"

"He doesn't have a problem with the job," he responded. "He has a problem with House."

"But he likes House, and—"

"The issue isn't between _him_ and House," said Wilson. "It's between _you_ and House."

Cameron took a moment before responding. "Well if that's the case, then I was right," she replied. "He doesn't trust me."

Wilson heaved a sigh. He wasn't going to be able to reason with her, and he honestly didn't even know which side he was on. He wanted his best friend to be happy, but how could he support him if it meant the failure of Cameron's marriage? He wanted Cameron and Chase to be happy, but he knew that their success could mean unhappiness for his best friend. "You need to talk to Chase about this," he repeated. This time, though, he stood up from his chair and returned to Cuddy and Rachel so that Cameron could protest no longer.

And at that moment, Chase returned to his seat next to Cameron. "What were you and Wilson talking about?" he asked casually. There wasn't a hint of suspicion in his voice—only curiosity. Wilson didn't threaten him at all. Normally, he wouldn't have even been curious, but the dramatic way in which Wilson had left the table and the distraught state that Cameron was now in informed him that their conversation had been a serious one.

Cameron looked up at her caring husband and hung her head in fatigue. She didn't bother to answer his question, though, because she wasn't even sure of what to say. She could tell him that they needed to talk—and they did need to—but she wasn't sure what they would talk about. Surely Chase wouldn't be satisfied until Cameron returned to her job running the ER, but that wouldn't happen for another month. Cameron was unsure why she was pushing so hard for her position on House's team. Was it because she wanted to stand her ground and demonstrate her independence to Chase, or was Wilson right? Did she really want to be with House again? Uncertain of the answer, Cameron gathered her purse and told Chase that she wished to return home. And being the supportive husband that he was, he agreed. Their ride home was shared in silence.


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

It was the morning after Foreman and Hadley's wedding, and it was also the first day that Cameron would be working with the Diagnostics team. House peered from his desk at the blonde immunologist in the adjacent office. She couldn't see him staring at her because she was busy brewing a pot of coffee in the corner. House almost smirked; it was just like old times. He stopped himself before a smile escaped his lips, though, because he heard the door to his office opening.

Wilson walked into House's office to see him staring into the larger office next to it. He saw House cover up his deeds by quickly turning his gaze, but Wilson knew that House had been looking at Cameron. He let it slide, though, because he had business that he needed to discuss (business really meaning gossip).

"Decided not to come to the wedding," noted Wilson in an attempt to open the conversation lightly.

"Was it my absence that gave me away?"

Wilson ignored the sarcastic remark and sat on the other side of House's desk. "You were right," he said, changing the subject.

"Of course I was," House joked without even thinking, but after actually having given the comment some thought, he realized that he had no idea what Wilson was talking about. "Right about what?"

"Chase."

House tried to remember the last time that he'd even talked about Chase, much less with Wilson. What was he talking about?

Seeing House's confusion, Wilson elaborated. "You were right," he repeated. "He didn't want Cameron to rejoin your team."

House rolled his eyes. Wilson had come here to state the obvious. "I told you—"

Wilson shook his head and put his finger up. "You couldn't have possibly known without talking to him!"

"So what?" House asked. "Did _you_ talk to him at the wedding?"

Wilson shook his head. "I talked to Cameron."

House almost gasped incredulously. "I talked to Cameron, and you said I couldn't have known without talking to Chase!"

"No," replied Wilson, "you talked to Cameron and drew the conclusion that Chase would never want her to rejoin your team." House was about to interrupt, but Wilson didn't give him the chance. "I, on the other hand, talked to her about Chase, and she _told_ me that Chase didn't want her on your team."

House was frustrated now. "But I talked to her and—"

"—and she told you that Chase was fine with her returning," Wilson finished for him. "So my point still stands that you secretly want Chase to object to Cameron's working here because you want her to still have feelings for you."

"No, your point _doesn't_ stand considering I was right about Cameron lying." House scowled at his best friend. Wilson could be just as unrelenting as he could sometimes. "So that's why you came here?" he asked. "You just wanted to tell me that I was right, but I wasn't right?"

"That doesn't make any sense," replied Wilson. He paused for a moment. "That's not why I'm here."

"Then why _are_ you here?"

Wilson heaved a sigh and looked in the outer office to be sure that Cameron was too busy to be listening. "Why didn't you tell me you were hiring her back?"

"I did tell you," replied House simply, "and I'm not _hiring_ her back. She's just subbing for Foreman and Thirteen. She still technically works for the Emergency Department."

"You told me she wanted on your team, but you never told me you were actually going to hire her."

House rolled his eyes. Wilson was becoming annoying again. "I wasn't aware that I needed to discuss my staffing arrangements with you, and we only decided that she would come back two days ago."

"What do you mean _we_?" asked Wilson. "You discussed this together?"

Oh, God. He was just grasping for any hint that there was something going on between him and Cameron. "There's nothing going on between us."

"I never said there _was_ something going on between you." He studied House but received nothing more than a roll of the eyes.

House was becoming angry with his friend now. He was just setting him up. "Why are you really here?"

Wilson smirked at House. He knew that he was just toying with House's words and that they truly meant nothing, but House's growing frustration _did_ mean something. House didn't typically care what other people thought of his personal life (if he did, he wouldn't joke about hookers all the time), but he did care when people discovered something truly personal about himself. Wilson grinned at the thought. He pointed at his friend. "You're in big trouble."

House glared at Wilson and suddenly remembered hearing the same line nearly five years ago. "Don't you have patients or something? The last I'd heard they hadn't discovered a cure for cancer yet."

Wilson smirked at his friend's diversion. "God forbid they save all those lives."

"Who are you to complain? You'd be out of a job."

Wilson rolled his eyes at the comment. He was about to continue, but he heard the sound of a door opening behind him. He turned around to see Cuddy walking in with a file.

"Is that a case?" asked Wilson.

Cuddy smirked at the fact that Wilson seemed more interested in the case than House did. "You should enjoy this, House."

House took the file from her hands but didn't open it. He wanted to hear what was so interesting about it first.

"A woman has a spontaneous, involuntary orgasm while at work."

"That's really hot," began House, "but not that interesting. That's not even a pathological illness."

Cuddy nodded along, just waiting for her chance to continue. "It is pathological," she claimed. "Immediately afterwards, her hand twitched, and she passed out."

"Oh, just take the case," Wilson pressured his friend. "I'm sure you'd love the opportunity to interrogate a woman about her orgasms."

"You're just trying to get laid by helping your girlfriend dump a case on me," replied House, but he accepted the case nonetheless.

Wilson smirked and stood up to leave, knowing that he had won the battle but the war was all but over. There was something going on between House and Cameron, and he was determined to come to the bottom of it.

House watched as his two friends left the office. Wilson subtly grazed the small of Cuddy's back and leaned in to whisper in her ear. He smirked at them and shook his head before rising from his seat and entering the outer office where he found Cameron finishing her pot of coffee and Taub adding some final notes to a chart. "We've got a case," he announced.


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

After forcing Cameron to get a decent history, House stood by his trusted whiteboard and opened the differential diagnosis on their new patient, a twenty-three year old woman by the name of Jovie.

"The ER found a fever," Cameron updated House and Taub on the patient's other symptoms. "And she's been experiencing insomnia, nightmares, and headaches for a while."

"How long is a while?" asked House.

"She says she's had headaches her whole life," Cameron replied with a shrug. "As for the insomnia and nightmares, she wasn't sure—off and on for a few years maybe."

That response didn't sound promising at all. "People get headaches all the time," insisted Taub. "They probably don't mean anything."

"Well you could say the same about insomnia, nightmares, and orgasms," replied Cameron almost caustically. "Should we forget those symptoms too?"

Taub sensed an argument coming. Why was Cameron in such a bad mood? "Spontaneous and involuntary orgasms—especially new ones—are more likely to be pathological than headaches are."

House watched the exchange with curiosity; he was just as interested to see Cameron arguing as Taub had been. Honestly, he was finding the case even more interesting than he had predicted it would be. A fever definitely meant a pathological illness, and nightmares in an adult were pretty interesting too—and then there were the orgasms. He was having fun already.

"Even if the headaches aren't a real symptom," continued Cameron, "we're in no position to disregard them now. They could be vital to the diagnosis for all we know."

Taub stared at her but didn't respond. This was going to be a long month if Cameron continued to jump at him for every thought. He wondered if she had been this pissy when she first worked for House; then again, maybe having to work with House was what had made her pissy in the first place.

"If you get a brilliant diagnosis that doesn't involve headaches, we'll run with it," stated Cameron, "but until you do, we need to consider them."

House was shocked at the way Cameron had asserted her argument; it was as if she thought that she were in charge. Of course, given the choice between Cameron and Taub, House would gladly put Cameron in charge. Nevertheless, they were both working for him, and _he_ was in charge. To exert his authority and agreement with Cameron, he recorded the patient's symptoms on the whiteboard:

**Orgasm**

**Twitching**

**Syncope**

**Headaches**

**Insomnia**

**Nightmares**

**Fever**

Cameron smiled victoriously after seeing the symptoms that she'd been fighting for appear on the board. "It could be a sexual disorder," she suggested. "She told me she couldn't orgasm while having sex with her boyfriend."

"That probably tells us more about her boyfriend than it does about her," House joked.

Cameron disagreed, though. "You don't see any connection between the facts that she can't experience an orgasm with her boyfriend and that she has a spontaneous one while at work?"

"She orgasmed, therefore she _can_ orgasm," rebutted House. "Other ideas?"

"We should focus on the fever," suggested Taub. "It could point to a lot of things, but if we're considering the headaches and sleep disturbances—" He cast a glance at Cameron, which she returned with an annoyed yet proud glare. "—and apparently we are, then infection is most likely."

"We should focus on the orgasm," Cameron disagreed. "A million things can cause a fever, but only a few can cause involuntary orgasms. That should narrow down our search."

"So what caused the orgasm?" asked House.

Seeing that House had agreed with Cameron once again, Taub played along. "She's says it's never happened before, so it's probably something acute." He thought a moment before giving a more useful idea. "There are some documented cases of spinal injury causing spontaneous orgasms."

"She doesn't have any back pain," said Cameron.

"That doesn't mean she hasn't injured herself," replied Taub. "It could be… a small injury." It didn't fit very well, but it was their only diagnosis.

Cameron remained skeptical despite Taub's explanations and came up with her own idea. "Some antidepressants could cause orgasms."

"No wonder they call them antidepressants," joked House.

"That's great," replied Taub sarcastically, "but she's not _on_ any antidepressants."

"—that we know of," Cameron added to his statement. "We should run blood tests and check her apartment."

"Why would she hide that from us?" asked Taub.

"Good question," replied House, but he remained convinced that Cameron was on to something.

Taub was growing tired of House and Cameron agreeing with each other, so he offered other ideas. "Until we find out whether or not she's on antidepressants, infection, toxins, and other drugs are just as likely."

"Which is why we need to check out her apartment," repeated Cameron as if Taub's suggestions did little to invalidate her own.

House thought for a moment and reread all of the symptoms on the whiteboard before turning to Taub. "Get a CBC and tox-screen to check for drugs and toxins, an LP for infection, and a CT of her spine to check for any injuries."

Taub narrowed his eyes. Not only was House covering his grounds, but he'd instructed him to do all of the tests. "What about Cameron?"

"She's going to go check the patient's apartment," House replied as if it was a stupid question.

Taub nodded but was still suspicious as he left the office to go run the tests.

Once Taub had left, Cameron gathered her things and prepared to leave. She walked out the door only to see that House was right behind her. She turned to him. "Where are you going?"

House seemed confused. "The patient's apartment."

Now Cameron was confused. "I thought I was checking her place."

House was confused by Cameron's confusion. "You are."

Cameron was slightly surprised. "You're coming too?"

"I always send two people to check out the patient's place."

"You also usually send more than one person to run tests on the patient." Cameron eyed House carefully, trying to solve the puzzle.

"I'm not sure if you noticed this, but I only have two employees at the moment." House was trying to be completely matter-of-fact about the situation. "Besides, Taub can run the tests alone."

Cameron accepted this explanation for now, but she knew there was something more going on. "Fine," she surrendered, "but we're not taking your bike."

House followed Cameron to the elevator. "You liked the bike if I remember correctly."

Cameron looked up at him but revealed nothing in her expression. "It's freezing outside," she explained. "I can't believe you even drove your bike today. The weather forecasts say it's going to be one of the coldest winters we've had in years."

"It isn't winter quite yet," retorted House.

House and Cameron made their way out to the parking garage where they soon arrived at Cameron's car. The drive was shared in silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence. In fact, Cameron was surprised at how comfortable she'd become with her temporary boss in the last five and a half years. She hadn't been around him too often in the last year or so, and so she was all the more shocked at how easy it was to work with House again.

Once the two had managed to break into the apartment, Cameron gave directions. "I'll take the bathroom and kitchen. You take the living room and bedroom."

House nodded, secretly enjoying her newfound confidence and sense of authority. She'd grown a lot since he first met her, and he liked it. He watched as Cameron walked to the bathroom, and he took the adjacent bedroom just so they would be within talking range.

"So why _did_ you want back on my team?" asked House as he began rummaging through the patient's dresser.

Cameron momentarily stopped what she was doing and looked at her face in the mirror. There was uncertainty painted all over it. "You've caught me," she replied sarcastically. "I'm madly in love with you. I just couldn't stand to be away from you any longer." It was all she could do to fight the truth which was becoming harder and harder to conceal.

House's eyebrows perked at the statement even though the dry tone in her voice indicated sarcasm. "That's not an answer."

Cameron ignored House, though, and approached the doorway between the bathroom and bedroom. She saw House digging through the drawers of the patient's nightstand. "There weren't any antidepressants in the medicine cabinet or anywhere else in the bathroom," she stated, upset that her theory had been disproven. She watched as House continued to rummage through a single drawer. He had obviously found something interesting. Cameron was growing more and more curious by the second. "What are you looking at?"

House pulled the drawer from the nightstand and sat on the bed with it in his lap. Cameron took a seat next to him and peered into the drawer, shock growing on her face.

"Wow," she commented in a low tone. Inside the drawer were many objects that Cameron and House could only assume were sex toys.

House held one of the toys up. "What do you think this does?"

Cameron grabbed it from him and looked at it briefly before dropping it back in the drawer. "It doesn't matter." She stood up from the bed and went to search the other drawers of the nightstand.

"You don't know that." House watched as Cameron bent over to investigate the remaining drawers. _My God, she has a hot body_, he thought.

"What could they possibly tell you?" she asked but felt the need to add on, "—other than the obvious."

"Sex toys could mean lots of things," he stated but was still transfixed with her bent figure. Despite this distraction, he managed to list possibilities. "They could indicate STDs or a sexual disorder."

Cameron knelt down on the floor and looked up at her tall boss who was still sitting on the bed. "I thought you told me it wasn't a sexual disorder."

House shrugged. "Maybe she's been having difficulty orgasming for a while, hence the toys."

Cameron nodded. It was a definite possibility. Still, House had no reason to continue to contemplate the uses for individual toys. She grabbed the drawer from House and returned it to its place. In return, though, she handed House a box and a bottle.

House looked at the box; it was a stock of condoms that would only further suggest a possible STD. He then looked at the bottle to discover that it was full of pills which he was able to identify as amphetamines.

"Amphetamines could cause the insomnia and nightmares," suggested Cameron.

"And the fever," added House.

Cameron studied him carefully. "It would only make sense if she were withdrawing from them."

"Exactly," agreed House. He watched as wheels started turning in Cameron's mind.

Cameron nodded and made her way to the kitchen. House followed her out. "What's wrong?"

Cameron nearly snorted.

"What?"

"Nothing," she replied, "I just never thought I'd hear you ask another person that question."

House rolled his eyes and studied her. "If it's any consolation, I was asking more because I'm curious than because I care."

Cameron smirked. "Some things never change."

"It's nice, isn't it?"

Cameron almost smiled, but she turned around and bent down once again. She finally decided to crouch on the ground while investigating the cabinet under the kitchen sink.

House tilted his head slightly as he enjoyed the view. "You didn't answer my question."

"Which one?"

"The last one."

"About whether or not it's nice that some things never change?" Cameron was confused. She thought that was a rhetorical question.

House rolled his eyes. Was she just messing with him? "About what's wrong with you."

Cameron sighed and hesitated for a moment before finally deciding that she couldn't hide it. She hoped House wouldn't make too much of it. "If we're suspecting an STD, I suppose that means you think she had an affair."

House was confused. "So what?"

Cameron shook her head. "Her boyfriend just seems like a nice guy," she replied. Sure she'd only met the guy once (while she was getting the patient history), but she was good at reading people.

House was still confused. They'd treated countless patients before who had cheated on their partners, but it never seemed to bother her too much. Why was she so upset now? "Did Chase cheat on you?"

Cameron was taken aback by this question, and she nearly jumped to face House. "Why would you ask that?"

House was surprised by Cameron's reaction. "He _did_, didn't he?"

Cameron broke his stare. "Not to my knowledge." She seemed to be waiting for House to tell her that her husband had cheated on her, but House saw this and shook his head. Cameron sighed in relief.

"If it's not Chase," he continued on his rant, "it must be someone else."

"It's no one."

"You saying that it's no one tells me that there _is_ an _it_," replied House. He thought for a moment. "Maybe it's not someone, but it _is_ something."

"It's nothing." She was trying to distract herself by examining the upper cabinets of the kitchen. "Aren't you supposed to be checking the living room?"

House ignored her question. "How can it be no one _and_ nothing?"

"Because there is no _it_."

Seeing that House wasn't going to check the living room after all, Cameron decided to move there from the kitchen. The entire apartment was rather messy and unkempt, but it seemed surprisingly clean. Cameron had yet to find anything that might suggest an infection or toxic exposure.

House watched as Cameron made her way to inspect the living room. He lay down on the couch and waited for her to either find something interesting or declare that they were ready to go.

Cameron rolled her eyes at his actions. "Why did I even bring you if you weren't going to help?"

"You didn't bring me," he retorted. "I'm the boss, remember? I chose to come."

"And why did you choose to come?" asked Cameron. He had questioned her motives, so now it was her turn.

House turned his head to look at her but remained lying down. "Taub can handle the tests."

"Right," replied Cameron skeptically. "So you just came here to… what? Hang out?"

House shrugged but didn't answer her.

Cameron eyed House knowingly but decided not to press him any further. "The living room is clean."

"So it's back to the lair?"

Cameron smiled at House's word choice. He could be such a child sometimes, but she would never tell anyone that she secretly loved it. "It's back to the lair."


	30. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Chase had been disappointed to see that, despite his objections, his wife had in fact returned to her former position on House's team. She claimed that she simply missed the job and that this was a convenient way to solve a few mysteries without having to make a committed return to Diagnostics, but Chase felt otherwise. He loved his wife, and he sincerely believed and hoped that she loved him back. Still, a sense of doubt lingered in his heart. He hadn't been lying when he told her that he didn't doubt his own love for her, but he knew that a part of her still doubted her love for him. He wasn't sure if it was House or if it was just Cameron's commitment issues, but he knew that there was something going on—something that could mean their eventual ruin. Chase would do anything to prevent conflict between him and Cameron, and so he sought out Cuddy in the hopes of finding a solution to his problem. He found her in the clinic returning a patient file at the nurse's station.

"Can I talk to you about something?" he asked.

Cuddy smiled at him and grabbed another file to quickly review it. "What is it?"

"I was wondering if I could maybe rejoin House's team while Foreman and Thirteen are on their honeymoon."

Cuddy seemed a little surprised. "Last I heard Cameron was rejoining the team."

"She is."

Cuddy suddenly understood. Her eyes widened but she quickly regained her composure. "House certainly could use some help, even with Cameron there," she said. "As it is, he still only has two employees."

"Is that a yes?"

Cuddy met his eyes with sympathy. "I understand why you're doing this," she replied, "but House's team is House's team."

Chase sighed. He really didn't want to have to talk to House about rejoining the team. He knew that House would simply throw his and Cameron's marital issues in his face.

Cuddy noticed the look of defeat on Chase's face and truly felt sorry for him. "I'll talk to him about it."

That still opened up room to be mocked, but then again, Chase wouldn't be able to avoid ridicule if he actually did make it back on the team. "Thanks," he responded simply.

Cuddy nodded kindly as Chase left the clinic. She turned around and waited outside Exam Room 2. The person whom she was looking for was inside.

A few seconds later, Cameron emerged from the exam room, and Cuddy followed her back to the nurse's station. "We need to talk," she stated.

"What's going on?"

"Chase wants back on House's team."

Cameron was confused, but she sensed where this conversation was headed. "He loves surgery, though."

Cuddy gave Cameron a knowing glare. "You mean like you _love_ the ER?"

Cameron immediately broke eye contact with Cuddy and released a gentle sigh. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him I had to talk to House about it."

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"Because I know that House wouldn't mind having him back on the team," replied Cuddy. "You, on the other hand…" She let her voice trail off as she gauged Cameron's reaction.

Cameron looked back up at Cuddy. "Are you asking me if I want Chase back on the team with me?"

Cuddy shrugged her shoulder lightly to imply that Cameron was correct.

Cameron thought about what Cuddy was asking her. She knew what she wanted to say, but she didn't know how to say it. She dropped her head to the side a little bit and stared at the floor.

Cuddy knew what Cameron's answer was before she even said it. "I'll tell him no."

"Please don't tell him I said anything," she pleaded with a frown.

"I'll tell him it was House's decision."

Cameron nodded in gratitude. "Thank you."

Cuddy was about to turn and go back to her office, and Cameron was about to enter another exam room, but Cuddy suddenly spun around. "Cameron," she called.

Cameron quickly turned to face Cuddy. "What?"

"You know you're only hurting your own marriage, don't you?" She didn't mean to meddle, but she couldn't stand to see her friends go through a terrible divorce. Cameron dropped her head subtly, and Cuddy was unsure if it was out of gratitude, understanding, or uncertainty. No matter what the answer, though, she knew that it was a bad sign. Before Cuddy could say anything more, House entered from the lobby.

"Cameron," he called out to her.

"I've got a patient," she replied and started heading toward another exam room. She obviously wanted to avoid House in her currently vulnerable state.

"I know," he replied. "She's upstairs having a seizure."

Cameron stopped in her tracks. "Jovie's seizing?"

House nodded and grabbed a red lollypop from the jar on the counter of the nurse's station.

"I take it Taub's treating her," said Cameron as she dropped the patient file back on the stack of other unfinished cases. "What did the tests show?"

"Blood tests were normal," he replied. "Her white count was normal, so no infection. She tested positive for amphetamines, but I think you already deduced that."

"What about the other tests?" she asked. "CT? LP?"

"The CT was just as clean," House informed her. "Taub didn't see any spinal injuries. He never did the LP, though."

"Why not?"

"The seizure, remember?" House looked at her as if she were losing her memory.

Cameron rolled her eyes. She couldn't have known that Taub had yet to complete the lumbar puncture. "Well maybe it _would_ have gotten done if you let the two of us run the tests while _you_ broke into the apartment _alone_." She cast him a glare, which he returned happily.

House ignored her comment. "She had another orgasm right as Taub was about to stick the needle in her back."

Cameron's eyebrows rose in shock. "She's lucky she's not paralyzed."

House nodded. "Why are we having this conversation in the clinic?" he asked.

"I was just doing my hours while Taub finished—"

"Yeah, yeah," he interrupted her. "I meant why aren't we going back to the office to run a differential?"

Cameron's jaw dropped slightly, and she turned to Cuddy.

Cuddy had been observing House and Cameron's entire exchange with interest. "I'll take care of that patient for you," she told Cameron, who knew that she was really talking about Chase.

Cameron nodded in thanks before turning back to House, and Cuddy watched as House literally grabbed Cameron's arm and dragged her to the doors of the clinic before finally letting go.

_She's in serious trouble_, thought Cuddy as House and Cameron returned to the Department of Diagnostic Medicine to complete a differential.


	31. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

House led Cameron back to the office and waited for Taub's return. After stabilizing the patient, he had managed to finally complete the lumbar puncture and was now returning with the test results.

"What did the LP show?" asked Cameron, who was eager to discuss the case after spending the last few minutes waiting in an awkward silence with House.

Taub dropped the test results on the table in front of her. "The LP was normal, too," he answered, "but her headaches have suddenly gotten worse."

Cameron was about to return his statement with a proud, "I told you so," but she decided against it. After her conversation with Cuddy, she wasn't feeling as self-assured as she had been earlier in the morning. No, she had started the day confidently and angry at Chase, but now she just felt guilty for her own indecision and uncertainty. "So the tests didn't really tell us anything," she concluded.

"Well," started Taub, who was happy to see that Cameron was no longer cranky, "they do tell us that it's not an infection, toxin, or spinal injury."

"Diagnoses should never be based on negative results," stated Cameron. She had come to learn that while working with House. "Her test results just mean that it's _most likely_ not an infection, toxin, or spinal injury." She could cite numerous cases in the past where test results had been deceiving.

"Fine," muttered Taub. He was beginning to wonder if maybe Cameron's attitude wasn't gone after all.

House saw the empty expressions on his employees' faces, so he led them down a new path by using his trusted Socratic Method. "What do the seizure and the headaches tell us?"

"Well if we're ignoring test results," began Taub sarcastically, "an infection would fit perfectly. Unfortunately, I don't know of any infections that wouldn't cause an elevated white count."

"Maybe infections shouldn't be off the table," stated Cameron, ignoring Taub's sarcasm. "We found tons of condoms and sex toys at her place that could suggest an STD."

"The white count was normal," repeated Taub. "It's not an STD."

House sensed an argument growing between the two, so he changed the discussion and refused to take a side. "We also found amphetamines at her place."

"She tested positive for them, too," added Taub. "They could explain the insomnia, nightmares, syncope, seizure, and even the fever if she were in withdrawal."

"It doesn't explain the orgasms, though," argued Cameron.

"Maybe she's just lucky," Taub joked. "Why are we so certain this is a pathological illness?"

"You think it's a coincidence?" she asked. "The symptom that brought her here isn't even related to her illness?"

"The symptom that brought her here wasn't the orgasm," Taub corrected her. "It was the syncope _after_ the orgasm."

"No," argued House, "it was Wilson's attempt at getting laid. Can we get to the useful part of this conversation?"

Cameron saw House's annoyance and went back to the differential. "Her headaches are getting worse," she stated. "Why?"

"Because she's getting sicker," suggested Taub.

"Too obvious," replied House. He thought for a moment. "We did this to her."

"The only thing that we've done to her that could have caused a headache was the lumbar puncture," Cameron claimed. "Maybe Taub screwed up."

"Or maybe she has increased intracranial pressure that got worse after the LP," he fought back.

"What would cause increased ICP and her other symptoms?" asked House.

"A brain infection causing encephalitis," Cameron answered. "Maybe she has meningitis, but the toys at her apartment would suggest neurosyphilis."

"Great," retorted Taub sarcastically, "but her white count was normal." How many times did he have to say it?

House eyed Taub in annoyance. "You know," he shot, "if you could stop shooting down diagnoses and start coming up with them, that'd be really helpful."

"A tumor could also explain all of her symptoms," asserted Taub, "and it has the benefit of not having already been ruled out."

Cameron shot him a glare, which he willingly returned, but before either person could say anymore, a simultaneous beeping of pagers echoed throughout the room.

House watched as his fellow and his temporary employee darted from the room to check on their patient. After they had left, House made his way over to Wilson's office to discuss Cameron's odd behavior lately. Unfortunately, Wilson had something more important to discuss.

"Did you know that Chase wanted back on your team?" Wilson asked.

House appeared confused. He hadn't heard anything about that. "Did you hear that from Cuddy?"

"She didn't tell you?"

House shook his head, and Wilson could see the wheels turning in his brain. He was wondering why Cuddy hadn't mentioned anything to him but had told Wilson. "What did she tell him?"

"She told him no."

Now House was even more confused. Why wouldn't Cuddy let Chase rejoin House's team for a month? Surely she knew how hard it was to run a department with only two employees. There was only one answer. "Cameron," he mumbled.

"What?"

"Cameron," he repeated, this time loud enough for his friend to hear.

Now Wilson was the confused one. "You think Cameron had something to do with this?"

House shrugged. "I certainly didn't have anything to do with it, and she's the only other option," he said. "Cuddy wouldn't have told Chase no without asking me."

"Why would Cameron do something like that?"

House's eyes widened suggestively, and Wilson sighed.

"You don't think—"

"I don't know what to think," House interrupted him.

Wilson nodded. "You should talk to her."

House rolled his eyes. That was Wilson's solution to everything. "Why do I need—"

"Well you can't talk to Chase!" Wilson interjected. "If he knew anything about this, imagine what he'd do to Cameron."

House narrowed his eyes. Why was he surprised? "You're trying to protect someone who's lying to her husband."

"I'm trying to protect a friend's marriage," he corrected. "You need to talk to her about this before Chase finds out."

"Chase probably already knows," concluded House.

Wilson appeared confused. "How could he—"

"He's not an idiot," claimed House. "When Cuddy tells him no, he's going to get suspicious because he knows that I would have no reason to tell him no. He'll come to the same conclusion that I did."

Wilson nodded, and he knew that House was right (as always). "You should still talk to her."

House was even more annoyed now. "How could that possibly help?"

"Look," began Wilson, "there's a reason that Cameron didn't want Chase on your team, and there's a reason that neither she nor Cuddy told _you_ about it."

"Well Cuddy obviously felt comfortable telling _you_ about it," he shot back.

Wilson tilted his head and gave House his typical oh-please-how-can-you-be-surprised expression. "Whatever this is," he continued, "it has something to do with you."

"You don't know that," argued House. "Maybe Cameron's just not getting along with Chase. Honestly, who's surprised?"

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Maybe they didn't tell you because they knew you'd mock them about their marital issues." He paused. "You can't ridicule them if you want to figure this out—"

"What makes you think I want to figure this out?"

"Oh please," Wilson joked, "you want to figure _everything_ out."

House knew that Wilson was right and waited for further instructions.

Seeing House wait, Wilson continued on his previous thought. "You can't ridicule them about this, or they'll never tell you anything. Marriage is a tough thing, and if they really are having issues, they'll need some sympathy."

House was incredulous. "You want me to _sympathize_ with her? Do you even realize what you're saying?"

Wilson chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I know," he said, "it's a stretch to actually show another person that you care."

"But I don't care," he replied, yet his voice quickly died down.

Wilson knew that House was lying, but he also knew that maybe House wasn't quite aware of just how much he cared. "You need to talk to her," he repeated yet again.

This time, though, House didn't fight him. He gave a small nod before rising from his chair and leaving the office.

Meanwhile, Taub and Cameron had run to find out what was wrong with their patient. When they arrived in her room, they found her hallucinating and struggling to move; she was experiencing muscle weakness. They managed to calm the frightened Jovie and her boyfriend, though. Since they had yet to choose a theory to run with, they decided that they would test for everything. They would begin with their STD theory, so Taub took the boyfriend out in the hall to question him while Cameron drew blood and questioned the patient.

"I thought you already drew blood," observed Jovie.

"We did," replied Cameron. "We're going to test you for amphetamine levels and STDs." She looked at the patient to gauge her reaction to this news.

"No," she unsurprisingly denied. "I used to take amphetamines, but I decided to quit for my boyfriend."

Cameron couldn't count how many times she'd heard that excuse. "Well, some of your symptoms may be from withdrawal if that's true."

Jovie was still troubled. "Why are you testing me for STDs? I was checked when I started dating Sean."

Cameron tied a rubber band around Jovie's arm and stuck a needle into the blood vessel below it. "We found sex toys and a box of condoms at your place."

Jovie's jaw dropped. "You broke into my apartment?!" She heaved a sigh and calmed herself. "Look," she surrendered, "I use to have a lot of flings, but that was before Sean."

"You sure gave a lot up for him."

"I love him," she stated with a gleam in her eyes. "Haven't you ever loved anyone like that? Haven't you ever been willing to do anything just to be with someone?"

Cameron smiled. Suddenly she wasn't so sure Jovie had had an affair. "Still, it must have been hard to quit the drugs and stop all of the flings so suddenly."

Jovie shrugged. "There's this one guy at work that I really like, but if there's one thing I've learned from Sean, it's that you have to commit."

Cameron smiled again. She was pleasantly surprised by her patient's attitude.

"Why did Dr. Taub bring him into the hallway?" she asked. Then it hit her. "He couldn't possibly think that Sean had an affair."

"We just need to be sure."

Jovie shook her head. "No, he hasn't had any symptoms."

"That doesn't mean he isn't sick."

Jovie sighed. "I trust him."

Cameron nodded her head. She would have made a comment about how naïve the woman was being, but who was she to say such a thing now that she was married? "I'm going to run these to the lab."

Jovie nodded her head as Cameron walked out the door. She didn't get very far, though, because Taub stopped her.

Taub looked back at the man sitting in the waiting room. He had his face cupped in his hands. "He admitted to an affair."

Cameron felt her chest tighten, and she closed her eyes. How could she manage to inform Jovie of this news?

"Do you want me to take those to the lab?" offered Taub, seeing the blood samples that Cameron was carrying.

Cameron shook her head. "Take her to get the MRI," she replied. They were still going to check for a brain tumor even though Sean had admitted to having an affair. "I'll test her boyfriend, drop these samples off at the lab, and then I'll talk to her about the affair when you get back."

Taub nodded in agreement and went to fetch Jovie for an MRI.


	32. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

After Cameron had drawn blood samples from Jovie's boyfriend and dropped them off at the lab for analysis, she made her way back to the office to update House on the patient. Taub was still giving Jovie an MRI, so when Cameron finally arrived back at the office, she found House sitting at his desk alone.

House looked up at her as she walked through the glass door. Before he could ask his question, Cameron answered it.

"She was hallucinating," she stated, "and she's experiencing muscle weakness. All of our theories are still on the table, so I drew blood to check for amphetamine levels and STDs, and Taub's getting an MRI of her brain right now."

"I take it they both denied an affair then?"

Cameron frowned, and House had his answer.

"Too bad for her boyfriend," he said, although he really didn't care. He stood up from his seat and rounded the desk to stand before Cameron. He knew that Wilson was right; he needed to talk to her about why she joined the team and refused to let Chase do the same. He needed to know. "It looks like their happy relationship wasn't so happy after all." Truth be told, he had no idea whether Jovie and Sean's relationship had been happy, but the comment gave him the lead-in that he needed. "Why are you here?"

Cameron seemed confused. "I just came to update you on the patient's condition." She had a feeling that that wasn't what House had been talking about, though.

House didn't know how to continue. He had been hoping that Cameron would just come clean, but he should have known after all these years that communication between the two of them would always be full of subtext. "Cuddy told me Chase wanted back on the team."

Cameron bit her lip. How could Cuddy betray her like that?!

Seeing Cameron's response, House qualified his statement. "Well," he corrected himself, "Wilson told me that Cuddy told him that—"

"I got it," she interrupted him. She stared into his blue eyes and became aware once again of how much taller than her he was. He towered over her and made her feel weak and vulnerable in his presence. It was a sensation that she both loved and hated. "Why do you care?"

"Wilson told me that I had to ask you why—"

"Since when do you do everything that Wilson tells you to?"

House didn't respond for a moment and instead stared into her green eyes. He was about to say something, but Cameron beat him to it.

"It wasn't Jovie," she stated.

House was confused by her answer. Who in the world was Jovie?

Cameron knew that House didn't know their patient's name, so she explained herself. "The patient didn't have an affair," she said. "Her boyfriend did."

House remained silent. There was a reason Cameron was telling him this; he just wasn't sure what it was quite yet.

Cameron broke the eye contact that she had previously been sharing with House and instead stared at the ground. "She admitted to the amphetamine use, but she said that she was quitting for her boyfriend."

"So the fever could have been caused by withdrawal," noted House.

Cameron looked up into his eyes again. "She admitted to having numerous sexual encounters before her boyfriend too."

"So STDs are still on the table," he also noted. He saw a look of uncertainty in her eyes. "She gave up a lot for him."

"Is that such a bad thing?" Cameron asked. "He got her to quit drugs and casual sex. Most people would call that a good thing."

"She hasn't quit them," House responded.

"But she said—"

"I'm sure she also said she loved him," he interrupted. "I'm also sure that she doesn't love him anymore."

"You couldn't know—"

"He cheated on her."

Cameron gazed into House's eyes for what felt like an eternity before repeating her initial question. "Why do you care why I'm here?" House didn't respond, so Cameron continued. "I can only assume that you think this has something to do with you, or else you wouldn't care."

House shrugged his shoulder slightly. "It doesn't have to be about me for me to be a little curious. You and Chase—"

"—are fine," she interjected. "You on the other hand…"

"This isn't about me."

"Right," she claimed. "This has nothing to do with you wanting me to want you again."

"The fact that you would even _think_ that tells me—"

"Why do you care about my marriage so much?" she asked. "The only reasons that you could possibly have to ask me all of these questions are because you genuinely care about mine and Chase's happiness or because you're interested in me."

"I can't be interested in Chase?" he joked to lighten the mood.

Cameron tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help but let a small smile escape her lips. "You never told me why you hallucinated Amber."

House was both shocked and perplexed by her question, but he maintained his composure. "You never told me why you wouldn't let Chase back on the team."

"I asked you first," she stated, causing him to remember the moment at Mayfield where she'd played a similar game.

House remained silent, hoping that she would answer his question first.

Cameron also remained silent for a brief moment before speaking again. "Considering the time it took for you to be released, I can only assume that you were lying when you said that she simply reminded you of Kutner's death."

"Why do you care so much about why I hallucinated Amber?" he shot back at her. He was sincerely afraid that she might discover the truth, so he was trying to deflect her questions.

Cameron ignored him. "If she wasn't reminding you of her death, than she must have been reminding you of her life."

House's heart skipped a beat, and he knew that she was about to figure him out. He needed to change the subject and fast. "Considering you refused to let Chase work with you, I can only assume that you were lying when you said your marriage was fine."

Much to House's pleasure, this comment managed to shut Cameron up. She didn't continue on about House's hallucinations. Instead, her confident expression gave way to one of despair. She tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall, telling herself all the while that she couldn't afford to let House see her cry, but she couldn't help it; a single tear managed to escape her eye. She was furious with House. How could he berate her to the point of tears? How could he dare question her marriage with a man she claimed she loved? Her despairing expression diminished and was replaced by one of anger. "You son of a bitch," she mumbled.

House was taken aback by Cameron's sudden rage. He knew that Wilson was right, and he couldn't criticize her marriage anymore if he truly wanted answers. He only feared that he'd gone too far already.

Cameron looked up at him, fury still glossing her radiant eyes. She took a step forward and cornered him against the desk with the intent of making him feel just as trapped as he had made her feel. "If you really did care about my marriage, you wouldn't dare talk to me like that," she shot at him, "which leads me to believe that you _are_ still interested in me. How could you ignore me all those years and then wait until I'm married to tell me this?"

"I didn't tell you anything—" he tried to argue but was cut off.

"You only want what you can't have," she asserted. "That's what this is all about, isn't it? All those years, you could have had me whenever you chose to, and now that I'm married, you can't, so you criticize my marriage in the hopes that I'll realize it was a mistake."

He didn't know what to make of her newfound confidence and wrath. He had always sensed that something terrible was bottling up inside of her over the years; he was just upset that he had to be present when she vented it all.

"You were right," she continued. "Chase and I _are_ having issues, okay? It's not about you, though; it's about _us_. I can't believe you're really so arrogant that you would think I'd ruin my marriage because of you."

House opened his mouth to speak but was silenced by Cameron's lecturing.

"What I have with Chase—what I _had_ with Chase—was perfect," she claimed. She couldn't even begin to describe how much her husband cared for her, how much she desperately needed to feel that love, and how she simply couldn't let it go.

"What changed?" he dared to ask out of curiosity.

Cameron lowered her tone and tried to calm down, hoping that House would never see her lose control of her emotions again. "Are you asking because you care or because you're curious?"

He didn't respond.

Cameron rolled her eyes and muttered, "Like I don't already know." She looked into his eyes and saw that he was patiently awaiting an answer, so she decided to give him one. "He doesn't trust me," she said. "He questioned my reasons for visiting you in the hospital, and now he's upset that I'm working for you again."

House had a burning desire to ask her whether Chase had been right about her, but he knew that it would only result in more yelling.

Cameron took a deep breath to settle her nerves. She looked into House's eyes and knew that he wanted to say something but couldn't bring himself to do so. "You didn't hallucinate Amber because she reminded you of Kutner, did you?" she asked. "You hallucinated her because she reminded you of Wilson."

House's heart started beating faster and faster. She'd figured him out, and he didn't know what to do. She'd cornered him against the desk, and there was no escape. He said nothing in the fear that he might reveal too much about himself.

"She reminded you of what she had with Wilson," she continued. "She reminded you of what you don't have—something I can only assume you subconsciously want, or else you wouldn't have hallucinated her in the first place." When House didn't answer, she knew that she was right. He wasn't even trying to defend himself. "Why aren't you saying anything?"

He didn't even respond to this question. He just continued to gaze into her eyes.

Cameron could see the vulnerability and fear that her words had caused. She was secretly satisfied with the effect that she had on him, but she began to regret her statements. She hated herself for pitying him after all that he'd done to her, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't stand to see another person in such pain. She was beginning to empathize with him. They had both caused each other so much pain, and they had both made the other so aware of the loneliness that they shared. Cameron frowned and closed her eyes. She hated him for hurting her so badly, but she hated herself for doing the same.

Before she knew it, she felt his lips on hers, and as much as she wanted to pull back, she couldn't. She couldn't deny him the pleasure of companionship, and she couldn't deny herself the pleasure of him. She reached her arm around his neck and pulled him to her gently. She opened her mouth for him but never felt his tongue go beyond her lips. It was a soft and tender kiss, and she loved it, but when she realized what she was doing, she immediately pulled back.

"I'm going to go see if Taub got the test results back," she said as she wiped a tear from her face that she hadn't noticed fall. With that, she quickly turned around and left the office.

House passed his fingers over his lips without even realizing it, and he watched as Cameron made her escape. He could see the conflict that was torturing her from the inside, but he didn't know how to solve it. Even if she did love Chase, how could she stay with him knowing that her heart wasn't entirely in the relationship when his really was? He tried to not to dwell on it. After all, there was probably nothing that he could do. Cameron had put herself in a terrible position, and she had to pull herself out of it.

As Cameron had said she would, she walked down the hallways of the hospital until she arrived at Jovie's room. She was inside, so Cameron figured that Taub must be in Radiology reviewing the scans or in Pathology gathering the results of the blood samples. She would talk to Jovie and then meet House and Taub back in the office to discuss the test results later. Cameron entered Jovie's room through the sliding glass door and noticed that her boyfriend was no longer in the room.

Jovie looked up when she saw Cameron enter. "Did you get my test results back yet?"

"Dr. Taub is getting them right now," she responded. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for the conversation that she was about to have. "Sean," she began but hesitated.

"He hasn't been in since I got back from the MRI," Jovie noted.

At this observation, Cameron nodded. "He… admitted to an affair."

Seeing the sorrowful expression on Jovie's face, Cameron approached her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," apologized Cameron.

Jovie shook her head. "He was the first guy I've ever loved."

Cameron knew that her patient needed to vent, so she took a seat in the chair that had once been occupied by Sean.

"I can't believe after everything I did for him that he would cheat on me," she cried.

"He got you to quit drugs," noted Cameron. "He helped you to stop the flings and have a meaningful relationship. Is that really so bad?"

Jovie looked up at her doctor. "Those things made me _happy_," she replied.

"And having a meaningful relationship didn't?"

"Of course it did, but I guess it wasn't really as meaningful as I thought considering he cheated on me."

"Maybe Sean wasn't the right one," Cameron tried to comfort her, "but now you _can_ have a real relationship with someone."

Jovie shrugged her shoulders. "I sacrificed my own happiness for his," she said and shook her head. "I can't do that again." She looked up at Cameron. "Maybe you're right about the drugs and the relationship, but why should I have to give up the things that I love just to make someone else happy?"

"Those things are bad for you," replied Cameron. "You could have an STD or—"

"I told you," interrupted Jovie, "I was checked before dating Sean. If I have an STD it's his fault."

"Those tests could have been wrong," continued Cameron, "and that doesn't excuse the drugs. You may have gotten off clean this time, but if you keep this up, you could seriously harm yourself."

Jovie frowned. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "but after what he did to me, how can you ever expect me to trade my own happiness for another's?" She paused and looked into Cameron's eyes. "Sometimes you have to make yourself happy before you can make others happy."

"Some people are happy when they make others happy."

Jovie shook her head. "Making other people happy is exhausting. It gives you some brief satisfaction, but when you're lying awake at night just trying to fall asleep, you don't think about all those other people you've made happy. You wonder why they're so happy even though _you_ can't seem to fall asleep. That's when you realize that you aren't nearly as happy as you thought you were."

Cameron didn't know how to respond. As much as it pained her to say, maybe Jovie had a point. Maybe it was impossible to truly make another person happy when you couldn't even make yourself happy. Maybe she could never give Chase a happy marriage until she was satisfied herself. She stood up from the chair that she'd been sitting in and walked toward the door. "I'm going to go check on your test results," she excused herself before leaving.

Cameron made her way back to the office to discuss the test results with House and Taub, all the while hoping that House wouldn't make a big deal about what happened and that Taub wouldn't notice anything. When she finally arrived at the office, she found Taub sitting at the glass table and House sitting at his desk in the adjacent room. When he saw Cameron enter, though, he rose and made his way to the other room to join them.

"What did the tests show?" asked House. He glanced at Cameron subtly, but returned his attention to the medicine.

"Both she and her boyfriend tested negative for STDs," Taub informed them, and he cast Cameron a victorious glare.

She glared back at him. "I got it," she replied. "It's not an infection. What else did you find?"

"The amphetamine levels in her blood are not nearly high enough to have caused the seizure, so that symptom's back on the table."

Cameron was satisfied to hear that at least she hadn't been wrong about there being an underlying illness. "What about the MRI?"

Taub pulled the image film out of a sleeve and held it up for House to take. "There was no tumor," he replied, "but there was some abnormal circulation in her right temporal lobe." He stood up and pointed it out.

Cameron came up behind House and Taub to look at the film. The three doctors studied it for a brief moment before House finally spoke up.

"Okay, so what causes abnormal circulation, increased ICP, seizures, and involuntary orgasms?" he asked, discarding the other symptoms that were most likely related to the amphetamine use.


	33. Chapter 32

Author's Note: I've also been posting this story on the FOX Forum, and I wanted to clarify something that comes across on the FOX site but not here. You'll see in the first paragraph that the team is running a differential, and I've listed symptoms. I also describe that House uses two different colors to mean two different things, but since those colors can't be seen when this file is uploaded, I wanted to make sure everyone understood which symptoms are in which color. Once you read the first paragraph, you'll understand why it's important.

Red: Twitching, Syncope, Headaches, Insomnia, Nightmares, Fever, Hallucinations, Muscle Weakness

Black: Orgasm, Increased ICP, Seizure, Abnormal Circulation

As always, let me know what you guys think of this chapter! Thanks! - Liz

Chapter 32

Taub and Cameron returned to their seats at the glass table while House remained standing by the whiteboard. They all read through the list of symptoms in the hopes that a brilliant diagnosis would pop into their heads. House had written symptoms in red that could be explained by the patient's amphetamine use, but symptoms in black still needed to be explained:

**Orgasm**

**Twitching**

**Syncope**

**Headaches**** – Increased ICP**

**Insomnia**

**Nightmares**

**Fever**

**Seizure**

**Hallucinations**

**Muscle Weakness **

**Abnormal Circulation**

"The abnormal circulation is probably causing her other symptoms," suggested Taub.

"It's localized to a small portion of her brain," observed Cameron. "Could it really cause a generalized tonic-clonic seizure like the one she had? What about the other symptoms: the orgasm and the ICP?"

"There's also a chance some of the symptoms that we thought were caused by the amphetamines were really caused by the circulation issue," suggested House.

"How can we tell which ones were caused by the amphetamines and which weren't?" asked Cameron. "She's still detoxing. It'll be a while before we'll really see those symptoms disappear."

"If we can fix the circulation issue, then we'll know that the other symptoms were caused by the amphetamines," replied Taub.

"But how do we know that those are the only two causes?" asked Cameron. "How do we know that there's not some other condition causing the abnormal circulation? Orgasms are not a symptom of either amphetamines or poor circulation, which would suggest an underlying illness."

"Maybe the orgasms aren't a symptom," said House.

This comment caused Cameron to nearly turn red with frustration. Now both Taub _and_ House thought that she was wrong about the orgasm being a symptom. She wondered if House was only disagreeing with her because of what had happened between the two of them. "You think it's a coincidence that her hand twitched and she passed out _immediately_ after having an involuntary orgasm?"

"Not at all," replied House as he continued to stare at the list of symptoms. "I think the timing is perfect."

"What are you—" Cameron was about to ask him to explain himself, but House interrupted her.

"It was a seizure," he stated.

"You think her orgasms are actually seizures?" asked Taub, just to make sure that he'd heard House properly.

House turned to his two ducklings. "I think her _involuntary_ orgasms are actually seizures," he clarified.

Everything suddenly made sense to Cameron. "That's why she started twitching afterward," she said, "and that's also why she had a seizure immediately after orgasming when Taub was about to give her the LP."

Taub leaned his head back, frustrated that he hadn't seen the connection sooner. "Fine," he said, "but what does that mean?"

"It means that the abnormal circulation and the amphetamines are causing all of her symptoms," replied House.

Cameron agreed. "She has an arteriovenous malformation in her temporal lobe pressing up against her sexual center. That's why her seizures presented as orgasms. The malformation causes pressure and irritation, which would result in headaches, syncope, seizures, hallucinations, and muscle weakness."

"So the fever, insomnia, and nightmares were all caused by the amphetamines," Taub deduced. "We should run a cerebral arteriography to confirm the diagnosis and find the exact structure and location."

"And I'll go talk to Chase about the surgery to remove it," added Cameron. This comment, although innocent, earned a quick glance from House (which Cameron ignored).

After Taub had run the cerebral arteriography and informed Chase of the results, Chase paid Jovie a visit to talk to her about the diagnosis and the surgery.

"The test confirmed an AVM in your temporal lobe," he told the patient.

"What exactly is that?" she asked in return.

"It's a malformation of the blood vessels," he stated. "Simply put, your capillaries didn't form properly, so your arteries and veins have been abnormally connected. It's caused pressure and irritation in your brain, which is causing all of your symptoms."

"Even the orgasms?" she asked, still perplexed.

Chase nodded. "Your particular AVM is lodged against your sexual center, which resulted in the orgasms."

"And that explains why I couldn't orgasm with Sean, my boyfriend, too?"

Chase thought about the possibility for a moment. "The AVM is congenital, which means that you were born with it. If you were able to orgasm with other partners, then there's a high likelihood that your inability to orgasm with him wasn't caused by the malformation."

Jovie sighed and took this information to mean that Sean had failed to please her in more than one way. "How do you fix it?"

"Well," he replied, "we're going to surgically remove it, and after that, all of your symptoms should go away."

Jovie sighed in relief and thanked Chase for his help as he continued to explain to her the details of the surgery.

While Taub and Cameron were off monitoring Jovie's surgery, House remained at his desk. He was going through his mail and doing anything and everything he could to keep his mind off of what had happened between him and Cameron earlier in the day, but nothing seemed to work. He didn't even notice Cuddy enter his office until she spoke his name.

"House," she addressed him, and he looked up. "How's your patient?"

"She's got a cerebral AVM," he replied. "She's in surgery right now."

"That's good," Cuddy replied with a smile. After talking with Cameron earlier in the clinic, and then later with Wilson, Cuddy had decided that she needed to confront House about whatever was going on with Cameron. She just didn't know how to go about doing that, so she continued with small talk. "You haven't ordered a ticket for the benefit yet," she stated. "Did you want me to get you one?"

House shook his head and wondered why Cuddy had come all the way to his office to ask such a silly question. "What are you _really_ doing here?"

Cuddy sighed. "We need to talk about Cameron."

House dropped the letter that he was about to open and leaned back in his chair. "There's nothing to talk about," he lied.

Cuddy didn't believe him. "There's a reason she didn't want Chase back on the team, and there's a reason that you're both lying to me about it."

"I'm not lying," he claimed, but Cuddy seemed to see right through him.

"If this arrangement is going to in any way affect either yours or Cameron's judgment or your ability to work together, then—"

"Oh please," spat House with a roll of the eyes. "This has nothing to do with our objectivity. You're just curious, and you're not going to give up until you hear the truth."

"So you admit that you were lying?" When she was given no answer, she sighed in defeat. "I'm just worried about her and Chase."

House stared at Cuddy. "There's nothing to worry about because there's nothing going on between us."

"Fine," she forfeited, "but just remember that Wilson tells me everything." With that, she turned to leave the office.

Hearing this comment, though, surprised House slightly. He hadn't thought of it before, but he now realized that he couldn't talk to Wilson about his issues with Cameron. He couldn't possibly risk Cuddy—or anyone else, for that matter—finding out about what was going on. It was for that reason that House decided to refrain from telling Wilson about the kiss that he had shared with Cameron.


	34. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

September had come and gone, leaving behind only the memories of a wedding, a kiss, and countless arguments. Now October had taken its place, and with it came the prospect of chilly weather, orange leaves, and a hospital benefit.

Cameron had returned to her position as department head of the ER, and Foreman and Hadley had returned to their positions on House's staff. Of course, Chase was very satisfied with this arrangement considering he had half expected his wife to remain on House's team permanently, but Cameron wasn't so sure she felt quite as satisfied as her husband did. It was true. She liked the ER, but she didn't _love_ it. Granted, she was happy that Chase seemed more at ease around her now, but she couldn't deny that she missed the mysteries and possibly even House.

House, on the other hand, had mixed emotions about Cameron leaving the department. At first he was relieved that he would no longer have to see her every day. There would be no more awkward silences and no more tension, and (best of all) he didn't have to confront her about the kiss. He could finally go back to doing his job without any distractions. But then he realized that he would no longer get to see her every day, and maybe he would miss all of the awkwardness and the tension. He would miss having a fresh pot of coffee every morning. He would miss having his mail sorted through. He would miss her standing up to him. He would miss _her_. It was for that reason that, after much debate, House finally decided to offer Cameron a permanent spot on the team. He had had four employees before, and he was fine doing it again. So, he left his office to track down Cameron in the ER.

Cameron immediately saw House as he entered her department, so she finished up with her patient and made her way over to him. "I don't have a case for you," she said without giving a thought to any other reason he might be there.

House nodded and began shuffling through the various files stacked on the nurse's station counter.

Cameron looked at House curiously. "I just told you," she repeated, "I don't have a case for you."

"I know," House replied. He sat down behind the nurse's station and put his feet up on the desk.

Cameron continued to stare at him. "So what," she asked, "you just came to hang out?"

House didn't respond, but he seemed to be looking around the room for something.

Cameron sighed and was becoming annoyed by his presence. "Wouldn't a clinic room be quieter?"

"I didn't come here to take a nap," he retorted.

"Then why _did_ you come here?" she asked.

House stared at her but didn't answer.

"Seriously," she continued, "if there's nothing that you need to talk about, then I need to get back to work."

House inhaled quickly and bit his lip. It was now or never. "We could use another person on the team," he stated right as Cameron was starting to turn away.

"Are you asking me to come back?"

House gazed into her eyes but said nothing, and she took this response as a yes.

"You already have three people on the team."

"A year ago, I had four," he replied, "and a year before that, I had forty."

Cameron sighed. She was faced with a terrible decision, but she knew that she could never answer him honestly. As much as she wanted to spend every day with him, she couldn't. "I… don't think that would be such a good idea." She bit her lip and judged his reaction.

House was both shocked and disappointed. He had been sure that she'd agree to come back. He wondered if it had anything to do with the kiss that they'd shared but never discussed. He couldn't question her, though, without appearing desperate. So, he nodded his head in acceptance, rose from his seat, and left the emergency room without another word.

Seeing his reaction made Cameron's heart sink. She felt terrible for having to deny him, but she knew that she would feel even more terrible if she betrayed her husband again. She frowned as she watched him leave, but she forced a smile when she turned around and discovered Chase behind her. "Hey," she greeted him and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Chase was in much higher spirits now that Cameron was back in the ER. He felt bad for having doubted her loyalty, so he decided to pay her back. "I've got a surprise for you," he said.

"Another one?" she asked with a still fake smile. "After what happened last time, I figured you'd learned your lesson."

Chase chuckled. "Well hopefully this one will end better."

"What exactly will… _end better_?"

Chase pulled two tickets out of the back pocket of his scrubs and showed them to her.

Cameron grabbed them to see what they were for. "These are for the hospital benefit."

"I figured it'd be a nice way to spend our first Halloween as a married couple."

"I wasn't aware Halloween was such an important holiday for you Christians," she joked.

Chase felt suddenly uneasy for some reason. Maybe it had something to do with Cameron pointing out their difference in religion. "Was that House you were talking to?"

Cameron looked behind her at the door that House had left through and then gave Chase a nod. "Why?"

"What'd he want?" he asked innocently. "Did you find a case?"

Cameron shook her head and debated about how much to tell him. She finally decided to just tell him and avoid any future conflict. "He offered me a position on his staff."

Chase's jaw dropped slightly at this news, but he regained his composure. "Why would he do that?"

Cameron knew where this conversation was going, and she also knew that she didn't want to answer his question. "Relax," she reassured him, "I wanted a chance to play detective again—and I got that chance—but now I'm happy to be back in the ER. I turned it down."

"Like you turned _me_ down?" he asked.

"What are you—"

"I know it wasn't House's decision to keep me off the team last month."

Cameron was a little surprised, but she shouldn't have been. Her husband could be pretty smart when he wanted to be. "So you think it was _me_?"

"House had no reason to tell me no," he answered her. "You're the only other option."

Cameron was embarrassed and regretful at first, but she quickly turned angry. "Why did _you_ want back on the team so badly? You love surgery."

"You _love_ the ER," he shot back.

Cameron rolled her eyes and grabbed a patient file from the counter. "This is ridiculous," she asserted. "I don't have time for this." She stormed off to see a patient before Chase could say anymore.

Chase watched as she rushed off to avoid arguing with him, and he eventually did the same. He heaved an annoyed sigh before dashing out the door and back to the Surgical Department.


	35. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

After having been turned down by Cameron, House decided that he could no longer keep the kiss that they'd shared a secret from Wilson. He needed to tell him, and he needed to know why Cameron would refuse a job that he knew she loved. Of course, he considered the obvious: she was trying to please Chase. That didn't make sense, though. If she were really trying to please Chase, she wouldn't have taken the job in the first place. She wouldn't have even visited him in the hospital. She did all of those things, though, despite Chase's wishes, and now something had suddenly changed. He needed to know what that something was and how he could fix it because he truly did want Cameron back on his team.

House barged through the door to Wilson's office, and on the other side, he found Wilson and Cuddy sharing a laugh while eating lunch. They were sitting together on the couch, and House could see snow falling outside the window behind them. Cuddy looked up to see who had entered so rudely and wasn't surprised to find that it had been House.

"We need to talk," House told Wilson without even considering Cuddy.

"Oh that's unfortunate," replied Wilson, "because _we_ were already talking." He motioned his hand between himself and Cuddy.

Cuddy smiled at this comment. "It's okay," she stated. "I really should be getting back to work."

"Are you sure?" asked Wilson. This comment earned a roll of the eyes from House.

Cuddy nodded and gave Wilson a peck on the cheek before gathering her things to leave. She paused when she reached the door, though, and turned to House. "Play nice, you two," she joked before finally leaving and closing the door behind her.

"You're welcome," House playfully told his friend.

"This may be hard for you to believe, House, but I actually _do_ enjoy her company." Wilson discarded his trash and returned to his desk to begin working again.

"How could you _possibly _enjoy her company?" asked House. "Boobs and ass, maybe, but _company_?" He took a seat on Wilson's couch and began to eat from the bag of potato chips that Wilson had probably been saving for later.

"What do you want?" He watched as his friend leaned back in the couch. He suddenly felt like a psychiatrist, and the idea made him laugh.

"What are you laughing about?"

"Nothing," replied Wilson. "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing here?" asked House. He held up the bag of potato chips.

"I see," observed Wilson, "but eating my lunch is usually the third item on your agenda, right after insulting Cuddy and insisting that we need to talk." It was his invitation for House to begin talking about whatever it was he needed to figure out.

"Cameron doesn't want back on my team."

Wilson was confused. "Shouldn't we have had this conversation a month ago when you actually asked her to join your team? Besides, I'm pretty sure it was her idea to fill in for Foreman and Thirteen."

House shook his head. "I asked her if she wanted a permanent spot, and she said no."

Wilson's confusion turned into shock. "Why did you offer her a permanent spot?"

"That's not the question here," deflected House. "The question is why she turned it down."

"Oh, of course it is," replied Wilson, "because I can't imagine a better job than indulging your every whim all day."

"Oh please," retorted House. "That _is_ your job. Besides, this is Cameron we're talking about. To her, there _is_ no better job."

"No," corrected Wilson, "there _was_ no better job. She's married now."

"That didn't seem to stop her from asking for her job back last month," he observed, "and it certainly didn't stop her from kissing me." He needed to get it out quickly before he had any second thoughts, and there was the added bonus of seeing Wilson's reaction.

Wilson dropped the pencil that he was holding. "Whoa," he exclaimed. "Wait, what? Cameron… Cameron _kissed_ you?"

"Wouldn't be the first time," he snarked back. Honestly, he couldn't even remember if he'd kissed her or if she'd kissed him. Either way, they had both kissed each other.

"This is huge," noted Wilson. He was still in disbelief. "When did this happen?"

"A couple of weeks ago," he responded. "It was the first case we had since she'd come back."

"So almost a month ago?" he clarified. Then it hit him. "You kissed Cameron a _month_ ago, and you're just now telling me?!"

"I knew you'd rat me out to Cuddy."

"So what's changed?" asked Wilson. He would still probably rat House out to Cuddy, and they both knew that.

"Cameron doesn't work for me anymore," he answered, "so there's no liability."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "This has nothing to do with you being liable," he said. "Everything you do makes this hospital liable. The only thing that's changed is that, now, Cameron doesn't want back on your team."

"Duh," responded House. "I think that was my opening statement."

Wilson was still trying to grasp the idea that Cameron and House had actually kissed, but then he realized what House had said. "What do you mean… this wouldn't be the first time?"

The statement had been intended as a joke, but House finally realized that it was true. "You're supposed to be telling me why Cameron doesn't want back on the team."

"Here's a crazy idea," replied Wilson, "talk to her."

House rolled his eyes. "If that were any help, I wouldn't be here."

Wilson was surprised. "You were actually adult about this?" he asked incredulously. "You actually talked to her?"

House pretended to think. "I… talked to her about coming back," he replied, "and she told me it wouldn't be a good idea."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "So you two kissed a month ago, and you haven't even talked about it?"

House didn't respond, so Wilson took that as a yes.

"She's probably just scared," concluded Wilson. "She hasn't even been married to Chase for a year, and she's already slipped. Joining your team permanently would only be asking for trouble. She doesn't want anything else to happen because—I know it sounds crazy—but she really does love her husband."

House rolled his eyes. "So married people are allowed to have one kiss with another person, and as long as they don't do it again, everything's okay?" It was a silly notion that Cameron could just absolve herself of any wrongdoing by preventing future mishaps. "It's too bad none of your ex-wives knew that."

Wilson glared at House. "I don't know what to tell you," he replied. "You need to talk to her."

"I wonder if Cuddy knows that rule, too," he ignored Wilson's last comment. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to pass on the opportunity to truly _welcome_ that new nurse in Peds to the hospital."

Wilson sighed. "That's not going to happen."

"How romantic of you," House retorted. "Although, I'm pretty sure you said that all of the other times, too."

"Well, this time I mean it."

"Yeah, you said that, too," replied House. "What's so different now? Cuddy's your boss, so if you cheat on her, you not only hurt your relationship, but also your career?"

"No," shot Wilson, "because I love her."

House was slightly surprised by this statement, but he didn't show it. "I'm pretty sure you said that about all of your ex-wives, too."

Wilson rolled his eyes. There was no way he could win. "Are we done here?"

House was about to leave but something else occurred to him. "Why were you two having lunch in your office instead of the cafeteria?"

"I needed to get some work done while we ate," Wilson lied.

House shook his head. "You were sitting on your couch when I came in," he said, "and there were no papers or files on the table."

Wilson didn't respond.

"But there _was_ a…" House paused for a second, thinking about what his observation meant before finally finishing his sentence, "…key." He looked up at Wilson, who was still silent, only now he was hiding his face in his hands. That could only mean one thing. "You asked her to move in with you?"

"No," Wilson sighed, "she asked me."

"What?" House asked in shock.

"She asked me to move in with her."

House rolled his eyes. He was going to have to put up with yet another one of Wilson's doomed relationships now. He'd been hoping this thing with Cuddy would never get too serious, but evidently, it had. "She's just scouting for a baby daddy," he shot.

Wilson rolled his eyes. "If you even _knew_ her, you'd know that Rachel is a great kid."

"How can you possibly know that?" asked House. "She's a _baby_."

"She's almost a year old!" Wilson exclaimed. "She's already taken her first steps! Hell, she's even said a few small words."

House was surprised at how quickly Cuddy's daughter had grown. She was still very young, but he couldn't believe that she'd already hit so many developmental milestones. Pretty soon she would be able to combine words and eat with a fork. Those things seemed rather simple at first, but he couldn't believe that the tiny baby he'd held almost a year ago was now so… grown up. Time was flying too quickly, and he hadn't even realized that another year had already passed him by. In that short year, Chase and Cameron had gotten married, Wilson and Cuddy had decided to move in together, baby Rachel had spoken her first words, and Foreman and Hadley had gotten married as well. What had _he_ done? Recovered from a mental illness brought on by trauma, loneliness, and drugs?

Wilson was beginning to worry about House's sudden silence. What had gotten into him? "House," he called his friend back to reality.

Hearing his name, House looked back up at Wilson. "Do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Can you tell Cuddy to get me a ticket for the benefit?"

Wilson was a little surprised by the timing, but not terribly shocked. After all, House had attended benefits before. He gave his friend a nod and made a note to call Cuddy when he got the chance (which would probably be immediately after House left, considering all of the things they now had to discuss).

With the assurance that Cuddy would get him a ticket, House rose from the couch and left Wilson's office.


	36. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

It was a particularly chilly Halloween night. The snow was falling down in sheets, as it had been all day long, and trick-or-treaters were running rampant in search of candy, as they had been all night long. The employees and benefactors of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital were also enjoying a rather sweet Halloween night; they were all attending a party designed to raise money for the hospital.

The hospital ballroom was already packed with guests eating, drinking, talking, and dancing. Most of them were dressed in formal or semi-formal attire, but the occasional person here and there had also added a touch of Halloween spirit to his or her outfit. Some women wore Halloween jewelry; some men wore Halloween ties. Some people were even dressed in inconspicuous costumes that blended in well with the formal attire. In fact, everyone on the guest list had already arrived—everyone except one that is.

After running home for a few hours to sleep, watch TV, and change clothes, House returned to the hospital wearing a dark red collared shirt with a black jacket, black pants, and black shoes. He even brought his formal black cane with the silver handle. He was determined to enjoy his night (even though he would probably never tell anyone that he was enjoying himself), so he made his way over to the table at which his best friend was sitting.

Wilson was sitting at a small round table with Cuddy and Rachel. They had saved a seat for House and were happy to see that he had finally arrived.

House sat down next to Wilson and inspected the attire of his friends. Cuddy was wearing a sleeveless evening gown. It was black and appeared to have many different layers because it frilled several times below her waist. She was also wearing a set of black pearls around her neck that added a touch of elegance and darkness to her outfit. Wilson was wearing a dark brown suit with a black shirt underneath. He opened his jacket via two large buttons (which he had added to appear subtly as doorknobs) and revealed that his black shirt was actually decorated with the white designs of bones.

"I'm a skeleton in the closet," he joked. "Get it?"

"Is that supposed to mean you're gay or something?" asked House.

Wilson rolled his eyes and turned to Cuddy. "He doesn't get it."

Truth be told, House did get it. He just couldn't pass up the opportunity to call Wilson gay.

Cuddy laughed at the two boys and picked Rachel up from her seat because she was fussing over something. She was wearing an adorable, but not over-the-top, bumblebee costume complete with a black and yellow skirt that even gave her a sense of beauty at the party. To House, though, her bumblebee outfit looked like one of those ridiculous costumes that kids only wear because they're too young to have any say in the matter.

"Why'd you bring _her_?" asked House.

Cuddy seemed almost offended by his question, but she quickly realized that she shouldn't have expected any better of him. "Because she's my daughter," she responded, "and because I love her and because I know she can behave herself."

"Obviously not," replied House, referring to Rachel's minor fussing. "Besides, there aren't any other kids here."

"She's just a baby, House," said Cuddy, "it's not like she's going to be running around the place wreaking havoc."

"But if that were an issue, you wouldn't have invited House," joked Wilson.

House still wasn't convinced, though.

"Relax, House," said Wilson. "She can't even walk without one of us helping her."

House briefly narrowed his eyes at the words "one of us" because they seemed to imply that Wilson was fathering her. He judged Cuddy's response to this statement, but she seemed to have not even noticed it, and if she had noticed it, she didn't really care. House dismissed the thought and returned his attention to the party. "Is it an open bar or a cash bar?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes upon hearing of House's greatest interest. "If you get drunk, we aren't giving you a ride home, you know," she replied. "I don't want Rachel staying up too late, especially if it means having to be around you while you're drunk."

"Well, if you didn't want her staying up late around me, then why'd you bring her here?" he snarked back.

Cuddy shook her head. "I'm serious! I don't want to have to put up with your crap tonight if you get drunk, and we drove together, so don't count on Wilson giving you a ride either."

House rolled his eyes but knew that if he truly did get drunk, he could count on his friends for a ride home.

Cuddy only validated House's suspicions when she finally responded, "It's an open bar."

House wiggled his eyebrows and immediately left the table without as much as a word. He walked over to the open bar on the other side of the room but stopped suddenly when he saw who was sitting at it: Cameron. She was the only person sitting at the small bar (most people preferred to take drinks back to their tables), and she was wearing a metallic purple evening gown that wrapped tightly around her chest and waist but then fell loosely over her legs. A small pair of pale blue and lavender fairy wings tied around her shoulders made her yet another person with a subtle costume. He could even see a small silver clip holding part of her shimmering blonde hair back. She looked exquisite, as always. He wasn't sure if he should go over and sit with her, take a drink back to his table, or just completely avoid her. After much contemplation, he finally decided on the first option.

"Too bad," he began as he took a seat next to her, "I was hoping for a nurse's costume, or maybe a French maid's outfit."

Cameron nearly jumped at the sound of his voice. She hadn't been expecting him. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing here?" he asked as he ordered a drink from the bartender.

Cameron rolled her eyes. She obviously knew why he was at the bar, but the party was another question. "I'm surprised you came."

"It's not like I haven't come to these things before."

Cameron shrugged. "The only time you showed up for a benefit was when poker was involved," she claimed, "and as I remember it, you ended up leaving that party for a patient."

"Duty called," he replied.

Cameron rolled her eyes. "No it didn't," she said. "If it hadn't been for you obsessing over an old case, then—"

"—we never would have saved the kid," he finished for her. He knew that she was going to tell him that under different circumstances, the child's case never would have interested him.

Cameron had to give him that one. His obsessions _had_ been productive that time. "Fine," she forfeited, "but there's no poker and no patient at this party, so why did you come?"

"What's more interesting is why you're over here drinking by yourself while Chase is over there talking with Foreman and Thirteen." He turned around to look at the table of doctors.

Cameron looked at them, too, but only as a reflex to House doing so. She quickly returned her attention to the drink in her hands. She began swirling the amber liquid around in circles. "What do you want?" she asked, still keeping her eyes on the alcoholic beverage.

He wanted to know why she was sitting at the bar alone, but he knew he'd never get an answer from her. He needed a new approach. "I just thought I'd let you know that my offer still stands if you're interested."

Cameron was about to ask him which offer he was referring to, but she figured that he was offering her a job again. She rolled her eyes and looked up at him, slightly annoyed. "We've already been through this," she stated. "I don't want my job back."

House shook his head. He didn't believe her. "Yes you do," he asserted. "_Chase_ doesn't want you to take your job back."

"Is it so wrong to want to make my husband happy?"

"He's not happy," argued House.

Cameron shook her head. "You don't know—"

"If he were happy, he'd be over here drinking with you," he said, "or you'd be over there talking with him. Neither of you are happy."

Cameron frowned at his observation because she knew that it was true, but she refused to give up that easily. "And if I take my job back, neither of us will _ever_ be happy," she claimed. "We're doing better now that I'm off the team."

"Yeah," he agreed sarcastically, "it sure looks that way."

Cameron was growing increasingly frustrated and annoyed with him. She downed the rest of her drink and hopped off of the bar stool. She turned to House before walking away. "Happy Halloween," she stated rather resentfully as she returned to her table with Chase, Foreman, and Thirteen.

House was angered with himself. He had been trying to figure her out, but he kept getting in his own way. He just couldn't stop himself from being a jerk for one second. As Cameron had done, he quickly downed the rest of his drink. He didn't return to his table, though. No, he simply ordered another drink and continued on that pattern for the remainder of the night.

Wilson and Cuddy stopped by to tell him goodnight. They were going home. As suspected, Wilson offered House a ride, but he refused. Wilson was slightly concerned that his friend wasn't thinking clearly, but he knew that if worse came to worst, he could simply sleep in his office for the night. With that thought reassuring him, Wilson bid House a good night and a happy Halloween as he, Cuddy, and Rachel left for the evening.

House remained at the bar, even after his friends had left. He wasn't drinking nearly as much as Wilson thought he was, though. No, he was just making his drinks last. He probably would have been fine to drive the short distance to his house, but he wouldn't have to.

Cameron walked up behind him and leaned her arm on the bar. "You're still drinking?"

"You really are observant," he joked. "It's too bad those skills of observation are being wasted in the ER."

"I don't want my job back," shot Cameron as she shook her head. She looked back at Chase, who was preparing to leave, and she let out a small sigh of annoyance. "Look," she began, "Chase and I are leaving soon. Do you want a ride?" She knew that she would regret it, but she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she left without asking him. It was still snowing outside, and she knew that it would be dangerous for him to drive himself.

House looked up at Cameron, slightly surprised by her question. He looked over his shoulder at Chase and thought about what to say. He probably didn't need a ride, so he shook his head.

Cameron frowned. "House," she urged him, "it's still snowing outside, and you've been drinking all night."

House contemplated the reasons that Cameron could possibly have for wanting to give him a ride so badly. He didn't want to disappoint her, and he was secretly interested in her motives, so he finally agreed.

Cameron heaved a sigh of relief and told him to get his things so they could leave.

House did as he was told, and when he was finally ready to go, he followed Cameron and Chase out of the ballroom.

"Don't forget your candy bags!" exclaimed a nurse who had volunteered to help Cuddy with the benefit by handing out complementary goody bags that were supposed to play along with the Halloween theme. She handed one to Chase, and Cameron took two—one for her and one for House. She knew he wouldn't want to carry his own.

With their candy bags in hand, the three doctors exited the hospital and entered the freezing air outside. They quickly made their way to Chase's car and got inside. Chase drove with Cameron in the front passenger seat, and House took the back seat. He sat behind Chase just so he could study Cameron as they drove to his apartment. The car ride was awkwardly silent, and House wondered if it was because of his presence or if all car rides between Chase and Cameron were like this. Cameron stared out the window for the entire ride, but House noticed that she would occasionally look in the back to check on him. She seemed genuinely concerned. He couldn't decide if she was concerned because it was him or if she would be just as concerned about anybody. He knew that the latter was probably true, but he told himself that it was the former.

When they finally arrived at his apartment, House got out of the car and tried to walk to his front door but slipped on some ice. Luckily, he grabbed the car door and caught himself before falling.

Cameron mistook House's stumble for one of drunken imbalance and decided to help him. "I'm just going to help him inside," she told Chase as she got out of the car. "I'll be right back." She walked carefully to House's side and put his arm around her shoulder for support.

House knew that he'd only slipped on ice and didn't need her help, but he didn't question her or refuse her assistance. Instead, he looked down into her eyes and had a feeling that the night was all but over.


	37. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

With House's arm wrapped snugly around her shoulder, Cameron walked him to the front door of his apartment and didn't even wait for him to search for his keys. Instead, she reached above his door and retrieved the key. She unlocked his door and opened it so they could both enter.

Remembering that Cameron had known where his spare key was the last time she visited as well, House asked, "How did you know where my spare key was?"

And like the last time he had asked that question, Cameron deflected. "Where do you want me to put your candy?"

House noticed that she had, on both occasions, quickly changed the subject. She was keeping something from him and he desperately wanted to know what it was. He nodded his head at a small table by the piano where Cameron could leave his candy bag. "You've been here before," he deduced.

Cameron closed the door behind her to keep the heat inside, walked deeper into the living room, and dropped the candy bag on the table. "Of course I have."

House shook his head. "I mean, you've been here when I _wasn't _here."

Cameron froze. She was terrible at lying or hiding things, but she tried to anyway. "Why would I come here if you weren't here?"

House knew she was lying. It was written all over her face, and how else would she know about the key? "What were you doing?"

"I told you, I haven't—"

House rolled his eyes. "Can we skip the part where you give a lousy attempt at a lie and I give you three reasons I know you're lying?" He looked impatient.

Cameron inhaled deeply and nodded once. "I didn't find anything if that's what you're worried about." Maybe she could use this conversation to her advantage.

"Who said I was worried about anything?" He paused. "Can't I just be curious?" He walked her closer to the wall and cornered her in an attempt to make her feel vulnerable. Little did he know that his mere presence had such an effect on her.

Cameron looked up into his crystal blue eyes that shone brighter than usual when contrasted to his black attire. She hated it when he cornered her; his tall stature made her feel terribly weak. "I was just worried," she informed him.

"Worried about what?"

"Why you were going to Boston," she responded.

House hung his head in both victory and shame. He had figured out why she'd broken into his apartment, but only to be reminded of a time when he had truly let her down. The only good thing that had come of that selfish deed was the wonderful kiss he'd shared with her.

Cameron continued to look into his eyes, and somehow she knew exactly what he was thinking about. "House…" She was trying to call him back to reality so that she could leave, but her speaking seemed to have a different effect on him.

His head was still hung from her previous comment, so it only took the slightest shift in his stance for his face to be positioned right in front of hers.

Without even thinking, Cameron met his lips halfway. She wrapped an arm around his neck and carelessly dropped the small purse that was in her other hand. She opened her mouth slightly, and much to her surprise, she actually felt his bourbon-flavored tongue slip beyond her lips this time. He pushed her gently against the wall, and she quickly came back to reality.

Cameron broke the kiss and looked up at House. "This has to stop," she told him firmly. "We can't keep doing this."

He almost rolled his eyes at her but refrained. "We haven't _done_ anything."

"I'm married," she fought back. He still had her cornered against the wall, and she didn't see any escape.

The sound of talking could be heard outside the door, and House and Cameron quickly separated, thinking it was Chase. Then again, who would he be talking to? Then the doorbell rang, and Cameron was even more confused. Chase would have just entered the apartment given the circumstances. Cameron hurried to the door, but House remained standing by his piano. When she opened it, she was pleasantly surprised to see a young boy of about four years old on the other side of the door. He was accompanied by a woman who appeared to be his mother.

"Trick or treat!" he exclaimed joyfully. He was dressed as a pirate, and his costume was complete with a red bandana wrapped around his head.

Cameron was slightly surprised to see such a young trick-or-treater out so late, but then she remembered that they had left the benefit early because of the snow. It was only a little after nine o'clock—and that was still a little late for such a young child—but then again, this was Halloween. Cameron smiled at the little boy's enthusiasm but frowned when she noticed that House had no candy for trick-or-treaters.

The little boy appeared slightly confused by Cameron. "Where's Dr. House?" he asked.

Cameron was surprised to see that the child knew House, but she didn't respond to his question. "One second," she said sweetly as she darted back into the living room. She grabbed her purse from the spot on the floor where she'd dropped it and retrieved the small candy bag from it. She reappeared at the door and dropped the bag into the little boy's bucket. "Happy Halloween," she told him.

"You too!" replied the little boy.

Cameron watched as the child and his mother entered the door across the hallway. They must have been House's neighbors, thus explaining how they knew him. She was still a little curious as to why the boy would actually be eager to see House, though. She closed the door and turned around to tell House goodnight, but when she saw him sitting down at his piano with another glass of alcohol, she dropped her purse by the door and rushed over to him.

"You should go to bed," she told him.

"What are you, my mom?" he joked as he began to play a song.

Cameron grabbed the glass of alcohol from on top of his piano and finished the shot off for him. "You've been drinking all night," she told him. "You should get some sleep."

"I'm fine," he insisted.

Cameron shook her head. "Yes," she stated, "that certainly explains why you almost fell just getting out of the car." She walked next to him and gently closed the lid to his piano. "Come on," she urged him.

House rolled his eyes and finally stood up from the piano bench. He knew that there was no way he could convince her that he was fine without revealing that he wasn't really as drunk as she thought he was, so he grabbed his cane and limped off to the bedroom.

Cameron followed House to his bedroom but stopped at the doorway. She wanted to make sure that he was actually going to go to bed.

Seeing Cameron do this, House also stopped at the doorway. He turned to her and asked her why she had followed him to the bedroom.

Cameron sensed what House was saying and quickly decided that she needed to leave. She shook her head at him and left his apartment as quickly as she could.

When Cameron finally arrived at the car, Chase asked, "What took you so long?"

Cameron sighed. Where to begin? "There was a trick-or-treater," she said, "and I had to find some candy. And then House was refusing to go to bed."

"Why do you care if he goes to bed?"

Cameron tilted her head at him and narrowed her eyes. "You know how much he drinks," she said. "I didn't want him passing out somewhere."

Chase rolled his eyes. It was a lame excuse, but he wouldn't expect anything different from Cameron. He knew that she just wanted to make sure that he was safe. So, he just nodded his head, started the engine, and drove off into the snowy night.


	38. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Cameron and Chase arrived safely at their condo and dashed through the freezing air to the warmth inside. Once inside, Cameron immediately pulled the fairy wings off her dress, slipped her heels off, and wandered to the bedroom. Chase, however, took his time removing his shoes. He watched as Cameron hurried her way into the other room and wondered what had suddenly gotten into her. He followed her footsteps and found her in the master bathroom. She was removing the silver clip from her hair and staring into the mirror.

"Are… you alright?" he dared to ask.

Cameron was a little surprised to see his figure appear behind hers in the mirror. She didn't turn around, but she did respond. "I'm fine," she lied. "Why?"

Chase shrugged. Maybe he was just overreacting. He was about to walk back into the bedroom to change, but he noticed Cameron's expression turn to one of confusion. She began looking around the bathroom, and when she didn't find what she was looking for, she moved to the bedroom. "Are you missing something?" asked Chase.

Cameron continued her search in the bedroom with no luck, so she darted down the hall into the living room.

Chase followed her. "What are you looking for?"

Cameron looked on all of the tables and finally sighed when she realized that whatever she was looking for wasn't there. "My purse," she told him in annoyance.

Chase couldn't tell if she was annoyed by him or just by the fact that her purse was missing. "You brought it into House's place," he tried to help her.

Cameron rolled her eyes. She was sitting on the floor after searching under a table. She finally closed her eyes and leaned her head against the couch. "Damn it," she muttered almost inaudibly. "I need my pager. I'm on call."

"Do you want me to go back and get it?" he asked helpfully.

Cameron sighed again. "The snow's getting worse," she told him. "You shouldn't have to go. I'm the one who left it."

"Stop that," said Chase. He walked towards her and sat on a chair next to the couch.

Cameron opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Stop what?"

"Stop trying so hard to make me happy," he said.

"I'm your wife," she insisted. "Making you happy is sort of my job."

"No," Chase disagreed. "You shouldn't have to _try_ to make me happy. We're married. Obviously I'm happy enough just being around you."

Cameron was still annoyed, though. She looked into his eyes. "I was just tired of fighting," she claimed. "I didn't want to do anything that would start another argument."

"I know you were just trying to keep me happy," he said, "but neither of us is ever going to be happy until we can sort this out."

Cameron shrugged her shoulders tiredly. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why you won't talk to me," he answered. "Something's obviously bothering you, but you won't tell me what it is. I'm your husband. You're supposed to trust me, remember?"

Cameron felt a pain in her stomach, and she yelled at him without even thinking. "And I'm your wife," she shot, "so you should trust _me_."

Chase was taken aback by her statement. "Is… this about House?"

"It's not about House," she argued. "It's about _us_. Why can't you trust me?"

"I do trust you," he tried to reassure her.

Cameron shook her head. "Then why did you have such a problem with me visiting him in the hospital? Why were you so upset that I joined his team while Foreman and Thirteen were gone?"

"I was upset that you did those things even though I told you they would be a bad idea."

"And why were they such bad ideas?" she asked him angrily. "I was just trying to help him."

Chase knew that she had just been trying to help House. After all, helping people was what she did. Still, he couldn't help but feel insecure about her feelings for him. "After we got engaged, you told me that you had doubts," he began.

"I told you," she interjected. "I just kept the sperm because I couldn't destroy it."

Chase shook his head. "I'm not talking about that," he said.

"Then what _are_ you talking about?"

"Why did you marry me?" he asked her.

Cameron was confused by his question. "What are you talking about?"

"Did you marry me because you love me?"

"You know I love you."

"We were about to break up before we got engaged," he reminded her. "You didn't trust me enough to tell me why you were really postponing our trip. What changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why did you trust me after we broke up, but not while we were together?" He thought he knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from her.

Cameron broke eye contact and appeared to be thinking back to the moment. "I didn't want to lose you," she told him sadly. Tears started streaming lines down her increasingly red face. She looked back into his eyes to remind him of her love.

Chase felt bad for making her cry. He wanted to comfort her and tell her that everything would be alright, but he couldn't do that quite yet. "Is that why you married me," he asked again, "because you didn't want to lose me?"

"What are you—"

"What about when you emptied that drawer for me?" he asked. "Did you only do it because I was about to leave?"

Cameron didn't respond, but her jaw fell slightly as she listened to him speak. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Chase thought back to the moment that Cameron had finally asked him for a relationship. "Did you only show up at my door that night because we weren't going to be working together anymore? Were you afraid we wouldn't see each other again?"

"I didn't want to lose you because I _love_ you," she tried to tell him with tears still falling down her face.

Chase's jaw fell and he shook his head. "I don't believe this," he mumbled. He slid off the chair and fell to the floor next to his crying wife. He brushed his hand through his hair before finally returning his attention to Cameron. "You shouldn't marry someone just because you're afraid to lose him," he told her. "I don't want you to be with me unless you _love_ me."

"I _do_ love you," she repeated, but it never seemed to comfort him.

"I don't want you to be with me because you're afraid of being alone," he said. "I want you to be with me because you want to."

"I'm not afraid of being alone," she tried yet again to reassure him. "I _want_ to be with you."

"All this time," he continued on his rant, "you just didn't want to fight—"

"—because I wanted you to be happy," she interrupted with desperation in her eyes.

He finished by saying, "—because you didn't want to lose me."

Cameron began to cry again.

A thought suddenly occurred to Chase. "If it had worked out with you and House, would we even be here right now?" He almost didn't want to hear the answer, but he needed to know.

"House and I would _never_ work out," she insisted.

He wasn't reassured, though. "But you still wish it would, don't you?" He wasn't really angry at her. He just needed to hear the truth, and he needed to know if she truly felt the way about him that he felt about her. When Cameron answered his question with only sobs, he closed his eyes and nearly felt his heart break. "You can't keep trying so hard to make me happy," he said. "The only thing that will make me happy right now is _you_."

"Okay, I'm all yours," she agreed.

Chase shook his head. "You're doing it again," he told her. "I want you to be with me because you love me, but I can see that that's not going to happen."

Cameron shook her head rapidly in an attempt to deny the truth. "That's not true," she told him. "I love you, and I want to be with you."

He knew that she was only trying to end the argument, yet again, and he also knew that what he was saying was true. "We can't keep doing this," he told her. His voice was low, and almost comforting. "I love you, and I want you to be happy."

"And I want _you_ to be happy," she told him. "I don't want this to end."

Chase pulled her into a gentle hug, but said nothing.

Cameron was not at all comforted by his hug because she knew what he was doing, and she couldn't allow him to do it. She forcefully pulled back from his embrace, and rushed to the doorway. She started to put on her shoes.

"Where are you going?" he asked her.

"I'm going to go get my purse," she told him. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet, mainly because she wasn't ready to tell him goodbye. She grabbed her jacket and his car keys before running out the door and leaving the ruin that had become her marriage far behind her.


	39. Chapter 38

Author's Note: So I mention Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata in this chapter. If you haven't already heard it, you simply must. The first movement really adds something to this chapter, I think (I wrote this chapter with it playing in the background), so you should definitely give it a listen. You should listen to it before (or while) you read this if possible; you can just look for it on YouTube. As always, please let me know what you think. I really love reading reviews—both praising and critical—so leave me a note. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! - Liz

Chapter 38

Cameron drove through the snowy streets of Princeton, still unable to clear her mind of the heartbreaking events that had passed in her condo. The visibility on the road was terrible, and she could barely see a thing. Her heart was racing, and she couldn't tell if it was because of the mess that had destroyed her marriage or if it was because of the adrenaline rushing through her body at the inability to see clearly in the snowy darkness that had fallen over Princeton. She heaved a sigh of relief when she finally reached House's apartment safely. She took several deep breathes to calm herself before darting out of her car and onto House's front doorstep. She told herself that she was going to enter silently, grab her purse, and then leave without a sound. He wouldn't even know that she'd been there. So, she grabbed the key from above his doorframe and let herself in quietly. Unfortunately, her master plan was quickly shattered by the poignant plucking of piano keys. She froze right where she was and even forgot to close the door behind her.

House looked up from his piano and saw her standing in his doorway, letting the cold air gust around the room. He didn't say anything, though. He simply continued to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. It was an eerie, yet somehow romantic, song, and for some reason, it seemed to suit his mood perfectly on this particular Halloween night.

Cameron remembered dropping her purse by the door after handing her candy bag to the little pirate, but she couldn't see it anywhere now. She wondered if House had noticed it and placed it somewhere else. And then she wondered how long House had been awake, or if he had ever really gone to sleep. She closed the door and then walked slowly toward the piano until she reached the end of it. She stroked it gently with her finger just to see if it was really as smooth as it looked. "Why aren't you still in bed?" she asked him in almost a whisper.

"I couldn't sleep," he answered matter-of-factly while still playing the piano.

Cameron bit her lip, unsure of what to say next. Obviously he couldn't sleep, but why couldn't he sleep after all of that alcohol? She wasn't sure if she should interrupt his playing again to ask him about her purse. So, she studied his face as he continued the song. He seemed so concentrated on what he was doing. It was like she wasn't even in the room with him. Then again, she could also see his face subtly change expressions between notes, as if he were having a conversation with the chilling melody.

House normally didn't like performing for people, but he felt no need to stop now. Cameron had already heard the majority of the song, and he wasn't about to end it before its true conclusion. Besides, the song was almost over, and he still wasn't sure of what to say to her. There were so many things that he wanted to tell her, so many thoughts that his mind had tried to silence over the years. Those thoughts were becoming louder and louder, though, and he couldn't ignore them any longer. Still, he didn't know how to voice them, and he probably never would. He had never been good at telling other people how he felt, and that wasn't going to change any time soon. Before he knew it, his fingers had stopped moving, and the song was over. He almost wanted to move on to the second movement just to buy himself more time to think, but he refrained from doing so. He looked up at the woman standing at the end of his piano. The last time he had seen someone standing there and leaning over the piano like that was when Amber had first appeared to him. A chill suddenly ran up his spine at the thought, and he shivered as his own personal nightmare replayed through his mind. It was like a terrible dream that he was being forced to relive.

Seeing his unease, Cameron asked, "Are you okay?"

House suddenly returned to reality and managed to nod his head. He bent down to his side and picked up a small, silver purse.

Cameron was about to ask him to hand her the purse, but she had another question that she was more eager to have answered. "You weren't really drunk, were you?" she asked. After seeing House still awake and able to play his piano so beautifully, he couldn't possibly be as inebriated as she had thought him to be.

House stood up and walked over to Cameron. He didn't answer her question (not that he needed to), and for the first time since her arrival, he looked into her tear-stained face and puffy, red eyes. She had been crying, but why? A thought occurred to him, and he rolled his eyes. "You _told_ him?" He was referring to the two kisses they had shared.

Cameron looked at him curiously. "Why would you say that?"

He gestured toward her face. "You were crying."

Cameron wiped her face gently and rolled her eyes in annoyance. She had thought she'd cleaned her face up pretty well, but nothing went past him. "I didn't tell him anything," she said.

House narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Then why were you—"

"He told me," started Cameron, but she choked on more tears.

At first House took her response to mean that Chase had in fact informed _her_ of an affair or something equally terrible, but he quickly realized that she wasn't finished speaking. He just waited (rather impatiently) for her to stop crying because he was intrigued. What could Chase have told her to make her cry like this?

"He told me that I didn't really love him," she managed to finish. Tears started falling freely from her eyes, and to prevent House from seeing her sob, she rushed over to the couch to sit down and catch her breath.

House watched her collapse onto the couch, and a moment later he followed her. He didn't sit down next to her, though. He just remained standing, staring down at her. What was he supposed to say? He was never any good at these things. Instead of saying something, he dropped her purse onto the table in front of her.

Cameron didn't even flinch at the sound of the purse landing on the table. She simply continued to cry.

House stood still, just waiting for her to finish. He rolled his eyes impatiently and couldn't decide if he wanted to hand her the purse and kick her out or wait for an explanation. Curiosity got the better of him, though, and he decided to wait. Then a thought occurred to him. "You _don't_, do you?"

For the first time since she had started crying, Cameron removed her face from her hands and looked up at him in surprise and disgust. "What?"

"You don't love him." He was trying to figure her out.

"How could you say that?" she asked despondently. "He's my _husband_."

House didn't respond. He just continued to stare down at the frail figure sitting on his couch.

Cameron finally stood up from her seat and stared angrily into his eyes when she realized that the expression on his face was one of curiosity rather than sympathy. "But you don't care, do you?" she mumbled as she heatedly shoved her face into his.

Again, House refrained from speaking. He was more interested in hearing what she had to say.

Cameron slowly pulled her face away from his and hung it in shame. "I'm such an idiot," she muttered to herself as she shook her head lightly. "I can't believe I actually thought…" She never finished her sentence, though. Instead, she returned her eyes to his and saw that he was still staring at her intently. "To think I actually expected an ounce of sympathy for just one second," she continued. She fought back more tears as she shook her head.

House couldn't tell if she was angry, saddened, or both. He wondered if she was right about him. Something inside him wanted to hear everything that she had to say, but he wasn't quite sure if it was because he was curious or because he actually cared. He didn't care about many things at all, and he wasn't sure he even remembered what it felt like. Come to think of it, the last time he'd even felt this way was when he had stared guiltily into Wilson's eyes after the death of Amber. Was that sympathy, or was it something else? "You're not an idiot," he told her, but he ceased to tell her that he might actually care about what was happening to her.

Cameron nodded her head and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She knew that he was right, but it still didn't change the way that she felt. She had come to his house in search of her purse, and although she had been shocked at first to find him awake and playing his piano, she had also been relieved to see another human being. Seeing him had made her feel like maybe she wasn't alone in this disaster. She had felt as though despite her argument with Chase, the world went on, and other people in other apartments were still awake at night and playing their pianos. They had no knowledge of marital issues or problems of any sort.

But then he had gone and crushed her hopes of any sympathy or comfort. And now she was alone again, wishing that she could move on with her life as the rest of the world was doing. She would have to accept that her marriage was over, but that tomorrow, her life would go on. November would come, and with it, so would a new life—a life without a husband, a life without Chase. If only she could let go of the past. She wiped the remaining tears from her face and reached down to grab her purse. When she stood back up, she saw that House was still staring at her, trying to catch her eyes. "House…" she whispered as she nearly started to cry again.

Memories flashed through House's mind. He remembered the first time that he'd kissed Cameron; she had been trying to steal a blood sample from him. Then there was the incident in his office where their lips had met during a heated argument. And earlier that very evening, Cameron had kissed him yet again. Despite her often guarded and shy manner, she had been remarkably brave when it came to confronting him about his feelings for her. He had never experienced such courage before. He had never really shown her how he felt.

Cameron watched as House became lost in his own mind once again. After waiting for what felt like forever for him to respond, she finally inhaled deeply. "I should go," she said, still in a whisper.

House cast the wonderful memories from his mind and grabbed Cameron lightly by the neck. He lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers.

Cameron pulled back from the kiss almost immediately. She searched his eyes for some sign that he cared for her, but she couldn't decipher what he was feeling at that moment. All she could see were endless seas of blue. Chase's own blue eyes suddenly appeared in her mind, and she closed her eyes. She shook her head at House. She was still married, and she couldn't possibly give him what he wanted—what they both wanted.

Needless to say, House was immensely surprised by her refusal. She had willingly kissed him twice despite her marriage, and now that he was finally giving her some indication of his feelings for her, she was going to deny him. "That doesn't make any sense," he mumbled, more to himself than to her.

"What doesn't make any sense?" she daringly asked.

"You," he responded.

Cameron was confused by his answer. She was about to request an explanation, but he gave her one without her having to ask.

"You've suddenly decided that kissing counts as infidelity," he said.

"I'm married," she responded.

House rolled his eyes. "This has nothing to do with you being married."

"Why would you—"

"You've kissed me twice even though you were married," he elaborated, "and now you suddenly feel guilty? It doesn't make any sense. You just had an argument with Chase, so if anything, you should be feeling vulnerable."

Cameron was disgusted. Had he just been trying to take advantage of her vulnerability?

"There's only one explanation," he concluded.

"What?" Cameron knew she would regret asking, though.

"He's going to leave you."

Cameron's jaw dropped, and she shook her head in denial. She could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes again.

"Before, you weren't afraid of losing him," he stated.

Cameron choked on tears, hearing these words.

"You were married," he continued. "You thought that he would always be there, so you weren't afraid." He paused for a moment. "But now you _are_ afraid, so you must know that he's leaving."

Cameron shook her head in denial again. "You don't know that."

"But you do." He pointed at her and waited for validation. "He told you he was leaving, didn't he? That's why you're so upset."

Cameron's sobbing returned, and she collapsed onto the couch again.

House, whose leg was starting to ache, sat down on the coffee table and continued to study her. "What did he say?" he asked out of curiosity.

"He told me… that he couldn't do it anymore," she replied honestly.

House was a little surprised to hear that he had been right in assuming that Chase was actually leaving. He was about to ask Cameron why, but another thought occurred to him. "That still doesn't make any sense," he said.

Now Cameron was completely confused. He had correctly rationalized her reaction to the kiss, so how could he possibly believe that it didn't make any sense?

"If he was leaving," he began, "then you should be even less fearful. Maybe you weren't very afraid before because there was no risk of losing him, but now that he's gone, how could you be afraid at all? There's no risk of losing him because he's already gone."

"Don't say that!" she shouted at him between sobs. How could he be so blunt given her despairing state?

Suddenly, everything became clear to House. She was still in denial. She still thought that she could mend her broken marriage. Maybe she was right, but he sincerely doubted it. "How can you still think that it's going to work out?" He was dumbfounded by her naivety.

Cameron continued to cry, particularly because she knew that House was right. She knew that no matter how much she tried to deny it, she and Chase were over. Their marriage was past the point of no return, and all possibilities of a happy life together were now gone forever.

House did nothing to comfort Cameron as he watched her expression turn from one of denial into one of realization, and then finally into one of anguish. He knew that she had finally accepted the reality of the current situation.

Without warning, Cameron grabbed House's neck and pulled his face down to her own, causing him to nearly fall off of the table. He managed to recover from this loss of balance, though, by falling into Cameron instead, and together they collapsed back onto the couch. After a brief moment of longingly kissing House, Cameron forced herself back into a sitting position. House sat up with her, not wanting to break the kiss. He then began to rise from the couch. He put his arms around Cameron's waist and pulled her up with him, lifting her completely off the ground for a moment as they swung around together. Once Cameron's feet were back on the floor, she started walking from the couch toward the hallway. Knowing exactly where Cameron was headed, House followed her every step of the way.

It wasn't long before they reached the bedroom. They began ripping the clothes off of each other one by one, leaving a trail of formal attire behind them. Cameron fell back onto the bed, and House hovered over her. Cameron broke their kiss and laid her head back on a pillow. She looked into his eyes for a brief moment before he finally returned his lips to hers. They brought each other to the brink of ecstasy, and then over the edge, before finally collapsing in exhaustion.

As the heat from their encounter began to wear off, Cameron crawled underneath the covers of the bed in order to shield herself from the freezing air, and House quickly did the same.

Cameron watched as House's breathing deepened, and she knew that he was asleep. At first, she wasn't sure if she should feel guilty for her infidelity or if she should feel delighted that the moment she'd waited years for had finally arrived. She wondered if House had simply taken advantage of her vulnerability or if he truly cared. But that's when she realized that he couldn't possibly have taken advantage of her because she wasn't nearly as vulnerable as she had been after leaving her condo. Talking to House had made her realize that a future with Chase was now impossible. And although her marriage was in ruin, a small glimmer of hope uplifted her spirits and told her that soon, everything would be okay, and soon, she wouldn't feel so alone. Cameron dreamed of pleasant memories that night, and wonderful images flashed through her mind—images of monster trucks and cotton candy, red wine and ravioli, and a kiss and a syringe.


	40. Chapter 39

Author's Note: So, I'm sure many of you will be upset by this news, but as the author I feel that it is my duty to tell you anyways. For those of you who don't know this about me, I'm still a teenager in high school (rising senior), and this summer has been very busy as far as college admissions go. I've been having trouble finding time to write this story and work on college applications and accomplish everything else that I need to before the school year. And once school starts, I will have absolutely no time to write, so I really need to finish this story before then (which is why I post almost every day). As such, I've had to shorten the story from the original 75 chapters to 60 chapters. However, there will still be a total of four parts. I cut out a story arc that I didn't really like and condensed some other things. Hopefully you'll still enjoy the rest of this story, and I'm very sorry that I had to shorten it after informing everyone that it would be 75 chapters. And so, here is the next chapter. I sincerely hope that everyone enjoys it. As always, let me know what you think because I just love reviews! – Liz

Chapter 39

A sudden chill caused Cameron to shiver and quickly open her eyes in shock. She looked around the unfamiliar bedroom and finally laid her eyes upon a window that was completely frozen over. A purple light from the cloudy sky shone through the frosted window, and Cameron could barely make out the shadows of heavy snowflakes still falling down outside. She suddenly recognized the bedroom that she was in, and memories of her eventful night came flooding back to her. She thrust her palm into her forehead. A sinking feeling of guilt sank in her stomach, but Cameron tried to reassure herself that she had done nothing wrong. Her strict moral code told her that infidelity was wrong, and that under no circumstances was she ever allowed to cheat on her spouse or partner. At first, she thought that this time was no different, and she'd done something terribly wrong, but then she recalled that Chase had ended their relationship. Of course, it wasn't official quite yet, but plenty of people start new relationships before finalizing a divorce. Then again, Chase had never asked her for a divorce. What if she had simply misunderstood what he was saying, and by sleeping with House, she had completely destroyed any chance of mending her marriage? But that couldn't be true. No, her marriage was over, and soon it would be official. This thought only upset Cameron further, but she tried to calm herself. She reminded herself that she had to let go and move on with her life. It wouldn't be easy, and it wouldn't come quickly, but she knew that some day (hopefully soon), she would be completely past this marriage, and she would be able to have a successful relationship. That notion made Cameron immediately think of House. She removed her palm from her forehead and looked at the man peacefully sleeping next to her. Seeing him so still and quiet made her smile. She wished that he was always this peaceful, but unfortunately, his days were plagued by pain, both physical and emotional. She wished that she could fix all of his pain and make his life much better, but she knew that she didn't have that power. The best she could do was to help him through the pain.

Despite her own attempts at reassuring herself, she still felt guilty. She needed to talk to Chase about what had happened, and she needed to know if he was alright. Most of all, though, she needed closure. She needed to know that they could both move on with their lives.

Cameron remembered leaving her purse on the coffee table in the living room. She considered leaving the bed with a sheet wrapped around her, but House would be sure to notice. The room was cold enough as it was. She finally decided to jump out of bed and grab whichever clothes she could get her hands on the quickest.

Cameron emerged from the bedroom in House's boxer shorts and red buttoned shirt. She darted over to the coffee table and grabbed her purse. She fumbled through it until she found her cell phone. She sat down on the couch and slipped House's socks over her feet as she dialed her home phone number. She was surprised to hear a message telling her that that particular phone number had been disconnected. Cameron contemplated why her phone would be disconnected, and she wondered if it had something to do with the increasingly fierce blizzard. She tried Chase's cell number instead. She waited through numerous rings before Chase's voice mail message played. At least his number wasn't disconnected. "Hey, it's me," she greeted his voice mail and let out a sigh. "I tried to reach you at home, but it says our number's been disconnected." She paused for a second, wondering how much to tell him. She figured that her news would be best delivered in person. "I'm still at House's place. I made it here safely, but the storm is getting pretty bad. I'm sure you can see that, though." She shook her head; she was rambling. "I just wanted to let you know that I was safe, and I hope we can talk in the morning, or whenever this storm lets up." She heaved another sigh before telling him goodbye and hanging up the phone and placing it back in her purse.

She tiptoed through the living room and to the bathroom. She flipped the light switch, but no light came on. She rolled her eyes in annoyance and attempted to use the restroom in the dark. To be sure that it wasn't a burned out bulb, she tested the light switch in the kitchen and got the same results. The power was out. She attempted to return to bed silently, but ended up tripping on one of her heels. She fell to the floor with a decently loud thud.

Hearing this noise, House's eyes shot open. He cringed at the pain in his leg that the cold temperature had worsened, but he managed to give Cameron his attention. He exhaled in annoyance and rolled his eyes. "What are you doing?"

Cameron sneered at him. "I'm fine, thank you."

"I didn't ask you if you were fine," he corrected her. "I asked you what you were doing."

"I was just going to the bathroom," she said contemptuously. "Your power's out."

"It's a good thing you don't need lights in the middle of the night."

"You do if you're going to the bathroom," she reminded him as she crawled back into bed, more because she was cold than because she wanted to be close to him at the moment. "Otherwise, you end up tripping on shoes."

"Are you trying to blame your fall on my power outage?"

Cameron rolled her eyes. Was he trying to play some game with her or something?

House thought for a moment. "The shoes are on the other side of the room," he said. "You came in from the hallway."

"I went to the kitchen to see if the light switches worked in there," she told him.

"You think power outages only affect one room?"

"I think you're too lazy to change burned out light bulbs," she corrected him. "I wanted to see if it was really a power outage."

"Well, why didn't you just say that?" he asked her. "Why lie about going to the bathroom?"

Cameron was confused. "I didn't lie about going to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom, and then I went to check the lights in the kitchen. I just didn't see the need to go through that entire story."

House shrugged. "That's not much of a story." He thought for a moment again. "You were worried about something."

"What in the world are you talking about?" She was starting to feel very tired again, and she desperately wanted to go to sleep.

"You were afraid that if you told me that you went into the kitchen, I would think you'd been doing something else."

Cameron closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep. If he wanted to keep thinking aloud, she didn't really care, but she wasn't going to indulge him.

"What else were you doing in the kitchen?"

Cameron inhaled deeply, and she was clearly annoyed. Her eyes shot open, and she rested her body on her elbows. "I called Chase," she divulged, "but that was before I went to the bathroom, so your little rant was completely pointless. Sometimes people really just don't see the need to say that they went into the kitchen to check the lights."

"Thank you," he told her insincerely. "Was that so hard?"

Cameron rolled her eyes. "I'm going back to sleep." She repositioned herself in a more comfortable position.

"I take it by your message that he didn't pick up?" asked House, ignoring Cameron's desire for sleep.

This question surprised Cameron. "You were awake?" House's stare was answer enough. "So that whole little logical deduction was just your way of asking me about my phone call?" Again, House's stare answered her question, and she rolled her eyes. "Normal people would just ask."

"Normal people also lie about going to the bathroom."

"I didn't lie about going to the bathroom," she told him again. She closed her eyes in yet another attempt to fall back asleep, but when she felt him rising from the bed, she reopened her eyes in annoyance and curiosity. "Where are you going?"

"I can't sleep," he stated simply. He looked around the floor for his clothing but realized that Cameron was wearing his boxers and shirt. He didn't ask for them back. Instead, he pulled a fresh t-shirt and pair of pajama bottoms from a drawer and left the bedroom.

Cameron could tell that the cold weather was making his leg hurt, and she felt bad for him. Nonetheless, she attempted to fall back asleep. Unfortunately, the bed was becoming colder and colder with him no longer in it, and the sounds of a piano playing finally informed her that she would not be getting any sleep at the moment. She crawled out of bed and made her way to the living room, where she found him sitting on his piano bench. "How can you see the music?" she asked but quickly realized that he was playing from memory. "Don't you have any candles or flashlights?"

House nodded his head toward the kitchen but refused to answer either of her questions while he was playing.

Cameron walked into the kitchen and rummaged through numerous drawers before finally finding several candles and a lighter. She laid them out in strategic spots throughout the living room and lit them all so that they would be able to see. Once she was done lighting all of the candles, she took a seat on the couch and pulled a blanket over herself. She made herself comfortable and allowed House's music to lull her to sleep, but right as she was about to drift away into dreams, a noise woke her up again. She rolled her eyes in annoyance yet again and rose from the couch to answer the door, completely unprepared for who she would find on the other side.


	41. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Cameron opened the door, and a gust of wind blew inside the room. She winced as icy snowflakes slapped against her face, but she managed to greet her guest with a quiet, "Oh my god."

On the other side of the door was a woman whom Cameron had seen much earlier in the night, and she was holding a little boy whom she had also seen earlier. It was the little pirate. She noticed that the red bandana he'd been wearing earlier had been covering a bald head.

Cameron was stunned not only by the appearance of these two people in the middle of the night, but also by the fact that the mother's chest seemed to be covered in blood.

"Please," the woman cried. "Where is Dr. House?"

Cameron finally realized that the two were still standing out in the cold, and she backed away to allow them to enter. She heard the piano playing stop, and she saw House rise from the piano bench. She was still completely clueless as to what was going on.

The woman darted into the living room and instantly sat her son down on the couch. Cameron could see that the blood on the woman's chest had actually been coming from the little boy's nose.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "It wouldn't stop, and I can't get a signal on my cell phone because of the storm. I didn't know what else to do."

House limped quickly to a linen closet where he pulled out several old hand towels.

Meanwhile, Cameron grabbed several tissues from her purse and held them up against the boy's nose. "What happened?" she asked, although she could guess that the boy's bleeding was related to his bald head. He was probably hemorrhaging from leukemia. The cold, dry weather surely wouldn't help his bleeding issue.

"It's a hemorrhage," answered House as he reentered the living room. He sat on the coffee table next to Cameron and opposite the little boy. He thrust the towel up against the child's nose.

Cameron's suspicions had been confirmed. "How long has he been bleeding?"

The woman seemed to be thinking, but she couldn't decide on a definite number. "I'm not sure," she answered. "Maybe ten minutes?"

Cameron inhaled at this news and nodded. She gave her attention to the young boy. "What's your name?" she asked him sweetly, trying to distract him.

"Michael," he answered in a soft voice. He seemed so young and fragile to Cameron. He was much paler than she remembered him being when he'd trick-or-treated at House's door.

Cameron watched as House tried so hard to stop the child's bleeding, but he wasn't having much luck. She noticed several drops of blood fall through the towels and drop onto House's wrist, and, all of a sudden, she remembered seeing a red spot of a similar shade on House's collar several months ago when she had brought him a case. Suddenly, she understood that he had been in his neighbor's apartment helping Michael. At the time, she had been disgusted with him, thinking that he had slipped away from work for sex, but she had been wrong. How could she have thought such a thing about him? Well, it certainly wouldn't have surprised her to see House do such a thing. Actually, she was more surprised now that he was helping his neighbor's son than she was when she'd thought he'd left early for sex.

"Is something wrong?" asked Michael's mother upon seeing Cameron's distracted demeanor.

Cameron came back to reality and shook her head. "Leukemia?" she asked.

The mother nodded, but House was too busy trying to stop the hemorrhage to reply.

"What kind?"

"AML," she responded. "Are you a doctor, too?"

Cameron nodded and offered her hand politely. "I'm Allison Cameron."

The woman took Cameron's hand and shook it meekly. "Jane Massey."

Cameron reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone, which she handed to the woman. "I was able to get a signal not too long ago," she said. "Call his oncologist and ask for an ambulance."

"But there's no way they'll be able to get here in the storm," she stated.

Cameron shrugged. "We can try our best, but he needs to get to the hospital. Just try and reach his oncologist."

Jane nodded and excused herself to make the phone call. She probably could have made the phone call in front of House and Cameron, but she needed a moment to calm herself. So, she went into the kitchen to order an ambulance and inform her son's doctor of the hemorrhaging. A few minutes later, she emerged from the kitchen and sat back down on the couch. "He said he's on his way, and he's bringing an ambulance."

Cameron sighed in relief and began to wonder again why she hadn't been able to reach Chase at their home number. "I think the bleeding's slowing down a bit, but he still needs to get to the hospital."

Jane nodded in understanding.

"Does he have any bruising?" asked Cameron. She lifted the boy's pajama shirt to inspect his abdomen for any signs of internal hemorrhaging. She noticed a small bruise, but it was nothing major.

Several minutes later, ambulance sirens could be heard outside House's apartment, and everyone sighed in relief as paramedics knocked on the door and quickly entered. House briefed them on the patient's history and current condition. Cameron was shocked at how well he knew Michael and Jane. He was always full of surprises.

Cameron was beginning to wonder where Michael's oncologist was. He should have been here by now. Hopefully he hadn't gotten stuck somewhere outside in the blizzard.

When she heard a male's voice shouting her name outside, Jane jumped from the couch and rushed to the door. She had forgotten to tell her son's doctor that she was across the hall in her neighbor's apartment rather than in her own. She opened the door and greeted him. "Oh Dr. Wilson, thank god," she sighed.

Wilson turned around to see Jane standing in the doorway of apartment 221B. What was she doing in House's apartment? He dismissed the thought from his mind temporarily, though, because he knew that his patient needed him. "How is he?"

"The bleeding has been slowing down," she answered, "but Dr. House hasn't been able to stop it yet."

Wilson nodded and quickly understood that maybe Jane was only in House's apartment because she needed his help. He followed her into the living room and was shocked to see not only his patient, his friend, and two paramedics, but also the one and only Allison Cameron. "Cameron?"

Cameron, who had been occupying herself by helping the paramedics, turned quickly to see House's best friend. How could she not have acknowledged the possibility that Michael's oncologist was Wilson? She let her jaw drop slightly, but she tried to regain her composure. "The bleeding's slowing," she changed the subject. "I think he's going to be fine."

Wilson eyed her carefully before nodding. "Does he have any bruising?"

"There's a small bruise on his chest, but nothing else that I could see."

Wilson nodded, and he turned to the paramedics. "Take him to Princeton-Plainsboro," he ordered. "I'll meet you there."

The two paramedics nodded in agreement, and Jane followed them into the ambulance.

Wilson didn't leave with them, though. No, he wanted answers. "Cameron…"

"Not right now," she said as she shook her head.

Wilson tilted his head, and he was obviously concerned for her, House, and Chase. "What's with all of the candles?" He looked around the room at all of the candles that Cameron had laid out and lit. And he couldn't help but notice that Cameron was wearing House's shirt and boxer shorts.

"There was a power outage," she replied defensively.

Wilson shook his head and gave House a stern, yet concerned, glare. He didn't say another word as he left the apartment and closed the door behind him. He couldn't believe what a mess his friends had gotten themselves into. Then again, it wouldn't be the first time that House had slept with a married woman. He only hoped that this time it would end better than it had for House and Stacy, and he hoped that Chase wouldn't be too hurt in the process either.

Once Wilson was gone, Cameron turned to House with fear in her eyes.

House met her stare with one of his own, although his eyes seemed to express something other than fear. Cameron couldn't quite place what it was, though. It seemed like a mix of surprise, consideration, and something else.

Although they both knew that they could trust Wilson with their secret (despite his rather large mouth), they both also knew that they were in serious trouble.

Author's Note: You didn't think I was going to drop the storyline that I'd started all those chapters ago, now did you? =) So what did you all think? - Liz


	42. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

After Wilson left House's apartment, Cameron found herself in a troubling situation. She knew that she could trust Wilson not to tell Chase about her night with House, but she also knew that it wouldn't be long before he told Cuddy or berated House. Besides, it wasn't as if she had planned to keep her night a secret from Chase. It simply wouldn't be fair to him. And now that he had practically ended their marriage, what did she have to fear? Breaking his heart completely? There was that, but she had a feeling that his heart had broken the second that she'd told him their marriage was nothing more than the result of her fears of abandonment and loneliness. She knew that she needed to tell Chase the truth, and she knew that she had to do it soon, especially now that Wilson knew her dirty little secret.

Cameron took a seat on the couch and pulled out her cell phone.

"What are you doing?" asked House.

"I'm calling Chase," she replied matter-of-factly.

House knew what she was about to do, and he could barely believe it. It made sense that she wanted Chase to hear the words from her mouth rather than Wilson's, Cuddy's, or some other person's, but he still couldn't believe that she was actually going to confess to having an affair. Then again, it wasn't much of an affair considering the marriage-ending argument that the two had shared much earlier in the night. "I thought you said he wasn't answering."

Cameron dialed Chase's cell number and spoke to House while waiting for an answer. "Our home phone was disconnected, but I left a message on his cell."

"So why are you calling him again?" asked House. "If he didn't call you back, there's a good chance he hasn't picked up his phone yet, in which case he won't answer this time either." The silly tendencies of girls made him laugh.

Cameron rolled her eyes. "I have to tell him."

"Tell who what?" asked Chase as he answered his phone.

Cameron was surprised by Chase, and therefore decided not to answer his question. "Nothing," she replied in a panic. "Are you okay? I haven't been able to get a hold of you."

"I'm fine," responded Chase. "I'm not sure I can say the same about the condo, though."

Cameron's jaw dropped, and she waited for the worst. "What are you talking about?"

"There was a fire," he started. "The wind and the weight of the snow caused the power and phone lines outside our house to break."

"That's why it said our number was disconnected," deduced Cameron. "Are you okay? How bad is it?"

House was becoming increasingly intrigued by Cameron's side of the conversation. What had happened? He watched as Cameron became completely engrossed in her conversation to the point that she didn't even notice him take a seat on the coffee table in front of her.

"I'm fine," said Chase. "The lines breaking started a fire in the tree out front, and part of the roof caught on fire."

"Oh my god," muttered Cameron.

"They said they should be able to fix it," he continued, "but we can't go in for a while."

Cameron tried to calm herself from this shock by taking a deep breath. "Where are you right now?"

"I'm at a hotel," he said. "When do you think you can get out?"

Cameron jumped from the couch and looked out the window to see that although the storm was still rather violent, it was easing slightly. It probably wouldn't clear for a while. "I'm coming right now."

Chase gave Cameron the location of the hotel that he was waiting in and told her to stay safe, and he would see her soon. Cameron in turn told him goodbye and hung up the phone.

Seeing House's curious expression, Cameron told him everything that Chase had told her. She then darted from the living room back into the bedroom. House followed her to find that she was stripping nude. At first, he was excited by her actions, but then he noticed that she was only stripping so that she could change back into her purple dress. Her hair was messy, and she had removed her makeup hours ago, but she still looked breathtaking to him. He tried not to convey the effect that she was having on him, though, as she grabbed her shoes and walked back into the living room.

"I need to go," she told him. She looked up into his eyes to judge his reaction. She couldn't tell if he was disappointed or not, though, because all he did was bite his lip and nod once. He seemed to be contemplating something. She considered giving him a kiss goodbye but eventually decided that it would feel somehow inappropriate. Besides, he probably wouldn't appreciate it. She could tell that despite their night together, he wasn't ready for anything serious, and for now she would have to live with the screwed up relationship they'd shared years ago. Without another word from either person, Cameron grabbed her purse and darted out the door.

House stared at Cameron through the window as she dashed from his doorstep to her car. He saw her look back at him briefly before driving away. He didn't know what he was going to do, or even what he was supposed to do. All he did know was that he truly cared for her but would never be able to admit it. Kissing her earlier had taken all of the courage he could muster up, and he wasn't sure how long he could keep that up.

Once she finally reached the hotel that Chase was waiting at, Cameron exhaled a breath that she hadn't even been aware she was holding. Why was she so nervous? Was it just because of the dangerous drive that she'd just finished, or could it possibly have something to do with the conversation that she knew she was about to have with Chase? She trudged through the snow-covered parking lot until she reached the front door. She walked down a hallway until finally arriving at the room occupied by Chase. It was locked, so she knocked and waited for him to let her in.

Chase opened the door and was immediately greeted by a hug.

"Are you okay?" asked Cameron. She was back to her usual caring self, and Chase couldn't decide if it was because she was trying to forget their argument or because she'd finally come to terms with it.

He nodded and let her in the room. "You could have just come in the morning," he suggested. "You shouldn't have driven all the way over here in the storm."

Cameron shook her head. "I needed to see you," she said before pausing, "and talk to you."

Chase swallowed nervously. "Is this about our argument?"

Cameron opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't know what to say. She thought about it for a moment before finally saying, "Sort of."

Chase took a seat in a chair, waiting for what she had to say.

Seeing Chase sit down, Cameron decided that it would be best to also sit down. She dropped her purse on the bed and sat next to it. She thought carefully before starting the conversation that she'd been dreading since their argument. There was only one way to sum up how she felt at that moment. "You were right," she stated simply.

Chase wasn't sure if that was good news or bad news. "Right about what?"

"Everything," she replied instantly. She took a deep breath and frowned as she spoke to him. "I love you," she reassured him, "but I was afraid of losing you."

"So you married me," added Chase.

Cameron nodded gently. "You've been a wonderful friend to me for years," she continued, "and I couldn't let go of that."

Chase could see that she was nervous. "What are you saying?"

Cameron took a deep breath. "I'm saying that maybe you were right," she said, "and maybe I shouldn't have married you just because I didn't want to lose you."

Chase stroked his hair with his hands and let his jaw drop. He couldn't believe what she was saying, but he wasn't exactly surprised. After their argument, he was beginning to realize that their marriage couldn't last on the basis of Cameron's fears. "You just suddenly realized this?" he asked. He was confused by the timing. "You left the condo in tears, and a few hours later, you're suddenly okay?"

A tear slid down Cameron's cheek, and she shook her head. "I'm not okay."

Chase watched as his wife began to fall apart again, and he wanted so badly to comfort her, but that would have to wait until they came to a decision. "What changed?" he asked again.

Cameron thought about his question and decided that now was a better time than any to tell him about the events of her night. "House," she began but was cut off by Chase's interruption.

"What happened between you and House?" He almost didn't want to know.

"He told me that it wouldn't work out."

"You asked him for a relationship?" Now he definitely couldn't believe what she was saying.

Cameron shook her head. He had misunderstood her, although not surprisingly. "He told me that you and I wouldn't work out."

"And you believed _him_, but not me?"

More tears fell down Cameron's face. "He can be very convincing sometimes," she joked and managed to give him a small smile.

Chase smiled, but he wondered what she meant by that statement. "How… exactly did he convince you?"

"Everyone thinks he's a jerk," she said, "but sometimes people can't accept the reality of the situation until someone throws it in their face." She thought back to the moment when, despite her crying, House had asked how she could possibly think her marriage would still work out.

Chase suddenly understood. He wasn't surprised that House had so bluntly stripped Cameron of all hope. "I'm sorry," he apologized, mainly because he felt bad for the pain she must have endured while talking to him.

"It's not your fault," replied Cameron. "It's mine."

"Cameron—"

Cameron shook her head so he couldn't interrupt her. "I can't even begin to tell you how happy you've made me," she said. "I couldn't have asked for a better husband or friend, but I'm not sure you can say the same of me."

"You don't have to—"

"I… slept with him," she admitted, and this confession silenced Chase. "I shouldn't have married you because you were about to leave. I shouldn't have even married you in the first place. I love you, Chase. I really do, but I haven't given you my whole heart, and you deserve someone who can give you all of the love that you've given me." She finally closed her mouth and waited for his response.

"You slept with him?"

Cameron responded with a frown and another tear, which Chase knew was a yes.

He shook his head in disbelief. Dare he ask it? "When?"

"Tonight," she answered. She needed to reassure him, though. "I thought we still had a chance, but I was wrong. He was right—_you_ were right. We can't go on like this."

Chase didn't know what to feel at that moment. He felt betrayed because she had slept with House, but he knew that it was unfair for him to feel that way. After all, he had practically broken up with her just before she had left. Then he felt despair because he knew that his marriage was over, and he had lost the woman he'd loved for years. But finally, he felt relieved that both he and Cameron were now free to find their true loves. He nodded at her in understanding and moved to sit next to her on the bed. He pulled her into a comforting hug. He knew that even though he would never be able to call her his wife again, he would always be able to call her his friend. And even though this was a terrible ending for the both of them, it was also the beginning of the rest of their lives.

**To Be Continued…**


	43. PART III, Chapter 42

**PART III**

Chapter 42

Devlin Baldwin stared at the grey wall of his cubicle with mind-numbing boredom and remorse. He worked as a telemarketer at night, and he couldn't imagine a worse job. Not only were his duties repetitive and almost never worthwhile, but the customers that he spoke to on the phone always treated him with great contempt. Did they honestly believe that he _wanted_ to interrupt them during their dinner or favorite television show? Didn't they understand that telemarketers genuinely hated their jobs and would give anything to be doing something else? Didn't they understand that he was just trying to earn enough money to make rent?

No, they would never understand because they were too absorbed in their own lives to realize that the telemarketers calling their houses were probably more annoyed by the phone calls they had to make than the customers were by the calls they received. After an annoying phone call, customers would simply go back to watching the TV, but he would have to make yet another phone call, and then another, and another. It never ended.

Devlin rested his aching head on his hand and took two deep breaths. He was recovering from a terrible case of the flu, and he'd been finding it hard to breathe lately. Normally, he would have just stayed at home until he felt better, but he really needed the money, so he forced himself to go to work that day.

He stared at a picture of a happy family on his desk. There was a beautiful woman with brown hair standing next to him in the picture, and he was holding a little girl no older than six in his arms. She was precious, and he would give anything to be with her at the moment, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to. He knew that she was too far for him to ever reach her, and he knew that he had to get back to work anyway.

He tried to tell himself that he was working for her, but that story had grown old over time and had completely lost its sincerity. He was no longer working for the little girl in his picture, and he was no longer working for her brown-haired mother either. No, he was just working for himself, and that fact gave him very little motivation.

A wave of nausea overcame him, and he felt tightness in his chest. He wondered if he was about to throw up again soon, so he darted to the bathroom. After managing to calm his stomach and mind, though, he returned to his cubicle.

"Hey, Marc," he called to the man in the cubicle next to him.

Marc turned around to see what Devlin needed. "What?"

"Could you tell Sikes that I'm leaving early?" He never liked talking to his despicable boss, Tom Sikes.

Marc nodded. "He's not going to be happy, you know."

Devlin shook his head. "I'm still feeling pretty sick," he said. "I'm sure he doesn't want me calling potential buyers while I'm like this."

Marc shrugged his shoulders and supposed that Devlin was right. "Feel better, man."

Devlin mumbled his thanks as he staggered out of his cubicle and down the aisle. He stopped suddenly, though, when he saw the prettiest sight in the world: the young girl was waiting for him by the door.

Marc watched curiously as his coworker darted from his desk to the end of the aisle. He saw Devlin kneel down and kiss the air in front of him. Marc jumped from his seat to check on his friend. "Are you alright, man?"

Devlin laughed in sheer joy as he hugged his beautiful daughter. He hadn't seen her in what felt like forever, and now here she was! She was back! "I couldn't be better," he sighed happily in response to his friend's question.

"What… what are you doing?" asked Marc, still confused by Devlin's actions.

Devlin chuckled. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he retorted. "I'm hugging my daughter!" He picked up the little girl and spun her in circles.

"Oh, my god," muttered Marc as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1.

"What are you doing?" asked Devlin, now confused by Marc's actions.

"I need some help," Marc said into his phone. "It's my friend. I think he's hallucinating."

"What are you talking about?" Devlin inquired yet again. He was becoming terribly confused by the entire situation. He wasn't hallucinating, was he? He collapsed onto the floor out of sheer weakness and sorrow. Could it be true? Was his daughter only an illusion?

Once he was done ordering an ambulance, Marc knelt next to his friend. "Are you okay?"

"Sarina," he mumbled to himself.

"Dev, look at me!" ordered Marc. His friend seemed lost and confused.

"Where is she?" asked Devlin.

"She's not there," answered Marc. "There's no one there!"

Devlin felt another pain in his chest, and his head began to throb once more.

"Are you okay?" repeated Marc.

Devlin finally shook his head. "I think I need a doctor."


	44. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

A ringing cell phone startled Cameron, and she awoke with a jump that nearly caused her to fall onto the floor. She allowed her eyes a second to readjust to the bright light of sunshine shining through the windows before grabbing her phone from the table next to her.

"Hello?" she answered in an obviously sleepy voice. She let out a yawn.

"Ally?" said the young woman on the other side. "Oh, Ally, I'm sorry! Did I wake you?"

Cameron sat up on the couch that she had spent the night on and took in the surroundings that had become all too familiar. "What?" she asked in a daze. She was still half asleep.

"Oh, I thought you would be awake by now," replied the woman. "It's already eight o'clock."

Cameron's eyes widened. Had she slept through the alarm on her cell phone again? She wasn't used to not waking up to her usual alarm clock, and she didn't exactly expect her temporary roommate to wake her up either. "It's eight o'clock?" she gasped.

The woman on the other end laughed. "Should I call back another time?"

Cameron jumped from the couch and darted to the other side of the room where a suitcase lay. "No, Jenny," she reassured her little sister. "It's fine. I just slept late again. What's up?" She rummaged through the suitcase until she found a suitable outfit for work. It didn't really matter what she wore, though, considering she would have to change into scrubs anyway. She started removing her pajamas and changing into the clothes.

"Since when do _you_ sleep late?"

"It's a long story," sighed Cameron. "Why did you call?"

Jenny noticed annoyance and regret in her sister's voice and made a note to ask about it later. "I just wanted to know if you'd given any thought to what we discussed last time we talked."

Cameron didn't have any idea what her sister was talking about. The last time they had spoken was when Jenny's fellow ballerina, Natalie, had collapsed on stage, and she and Chase had rushed to her aid. "What do you mean?"

"Oh," replied Jenny with innocence in her voice, "I was just wondering if you still wanted to do Thanksgiving together. It's been a while since we've spoken, and I want to get to know that adorable hubby of yours."

Cameron felt a pain in her heart, and her stomach sank. "I… don't think Chase will be able to join us for Thanksgiving."

"Why not?" asked her sister, completely befuddled by Cameron's response.

"He's… I…" she struggled to find the right words. "We're getting a divorce."

"Oh, Ally," said Jenny, now regretting ever having asked her sister about Chase. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. I'm fine," she responded, although she was anything but.

"What happened?" she asked. "Do… you want to talk about it?" Jenny had no idea what her sister was going through, and she wasn't sure if she needed someone to talk to or not.

Cameron felt a tear threatening to fall as she recalled the events of that fateful night. "I guess we both decided that it wasn't going to work out." She didn't really want to go into the details at the moment.

Jenny frowned, and her heart ached for her big sister. "I'm so sorry, Ally."

"It's alright," she repeated herself, hoping that the more she said it, the more she could convince herself that it was true.

Jenny wasn't sure what this divorce would mean for her sister and their Thanksgiving together. On one hand, Cameron would surely need a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. On the other hand, she probably wasn't in any state to be entertaining guests. Jenny wasn't even sure if she'd found a permanent home yet. "Did he leave?" she daringly asked, hoping that her sister wouldn't take it the wrong way.

"I guess it was a joint decision in the end."

Jenny nodded in understanding. "Maybe we shouldn't come over for Thanksgiving."

Cameron shook her head. "No," she objected. "I mean, I suppose you're right. I haven't talked to Sam or Jackie since the wedding."

"So I take it you've found another place to live?" her sister asked. "Or did Chase move out?"

Once again, Cameron's mind drifted back to Halloween night. "There was a fire at the condo."

"Oh, my god!" exclaimed Jenny. "Are you guys alright?"

"Yeah," responded Cameron. "I wasn't home at the time because I was… Well, Chase got out safely. I guess he wants to keep the condo, though, so he's having the fire damage repaired."

Jenny noticed how her sister had almost revealed something before suddenly moving on to the next sentence, but she didn't ask for details. "So you've found a new apartment, then?" she asked. "I can't wait to see it!"

"Actually, I haven't," Cameron sighed regretfully. "The ER's been swamped lately, and I guess I haven't had time to look."

"Oh, are you staying in a hotel?"

Cameron looked around the open living room that had served as her bedroom for the last two and a half weeks. It was most definitely not a hotel. There were no maids to clean up the messes that she saw all around her. There was no room service, either, and she began to wonder if the kitchen even had any food in it. "No," she answered. "I'm… staying with a friend."

Jenny was pleased with this response and didn't question it. She was happy that her sister wasn't alone and that she had somebody to help her through these hard times. "That's good," she told her. "So what do you say about Thanksgiving?"

Cameron thought about the idea for a moment. She wasn't sure if she was ready to tell her family all about her issues with Chase and House, but then again, she would love the chance to see her brother and his wife again. Plus, it would be another reason for her to hurry up and find a new apartment. "Yeah," she finally agreed. "That sounds wonderful. I'll definitely find a new place by then."

Jenny nearly squealed with glee. "Oh, perfect!" she exclaimed. "This is going to be so wonderful."

Cameron laughed at her sister's excitement. Sometimes, that girl could act like such a child.

"So I'll give Sam and Jackie a call and let them know," she said. "They'll be so happy to hear from you! I think they have a little surprise for you, too. Oh! And would it be alright if I invited Andy and Natalie as well? We usually spend Thanksgiving together."

Cameron remembered both Andy and Natalie, although she didn't know them very well. She remembered that Andy was the young violinist who seemed to have a thing for her sister, and Natalie was Jenny's bulimic best friend who had collapsed on stage (hopefully she was doing better by now). She considered the fact that it might be awkward discussing her divorce in front of these complete strangers, but she also considered the fact that it might be nice to distract herself for once by meeting new people. "Okay," she agreed after much thought. "Yeah, that sounds great."

Jenny nearly squealed again. She was very excited by this news, and she couldn't wait to call her brother and his wife and her two friends to invite them to a Thanksgiving feast. "So we'll see you in about a week and a half then?"

Cameron smiled. She usually didn't speak much with her family, and work typically prevented her from celebrating holidays with them, but she was happy that she would be able to see them this year. "Sounds good," she answered before telling her sister farewell and hanging up the phone.

Cameron finally finished dressing herself for work, and she was going to quickly use the restroom before her roommate woke up. When she spun around from her suitcase, though, she saw that he was already awake and apparently waiting for her to finish her phone call. She wondered how long he had been there and how much he had seen while she was changing. _Like he hasn't seen it all before_, she thought with a hint of resentment. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked.

House shrugged and obviously didn't want to place a number. "Who was that?"

"My sister," she replied. She didn't really feel the need to lie about something like that. Besides, even if she did lie, she knew that he would eventually find out, and then she'd have to deal with his questions about _why_ she'd lied. "She wanted to know if she could come over for Thanksgiving."

House was slightly surprised by this news. Surely Cameron wouldn't invite her family to stay in his apartment for Thanksgiving. "What did you say?"

Cameron knew precisely what House was worried about, and this caused her to smile. "Relax," she told him. "I'll find a new place by then."

House nodded but secretly lamented the fact that she would be leaving soon. He looked at her open suitcase on the floor by the wall and the mess of pillows and blankets that she had made of his couch. As annoying as her staying with him was, he secretly enjoyed it. He thought back to all of the times that Wilson had stayed on his couch after a divorce. He absolutely loved those times, but he could never ask Wilson to be his roommate permanently (he wouldn't dare admit to his friend that he actually enjoyed his company). Still, he had never expected Cameron to take Wilson's place on the couch. He was even more shocked by the fact that he'd been enjoying Cameron's company as much as he usually enjoyed Wilson's, or possibly even more.

Cameron began tidying up her makeshift bed and noticed that House was deep in thought. She wondered if it ever occurred to him how odd it was for her to be sleeping on his couch. When she had asked him if she could stay with him for a little while, she had half expected him to either deny her or playfully joke that she was always welcome to sleep in his apartment. Much to her surprise, House had allowed her to stay with no strings attached. She wasn't sure if he was trying to be nice to her or if he was just too afraid of starting another relationship, especially with a woman fresh out of a divorce. But what was even odder to her was her growing resemblance to Wilson now that she was staying with House after a separation. She had never in a million years imagined that she would be staying in House's apartment. Sure, there was a time five years ago when she had dreamed that maybe one day they would be together, but those dreams had died long ago. But now here she was, sleeping on his couch. She asked herself what this situation meant to him, and what it meant to her. Were they truly friends, just as he and Wilson were? Was he just helping her out in a time of need, or was there something deeper going on? She wondered if he fell asleep at night thinking of the girl in the living room as she so often drifted off into dreams of the man in the bedroom. She wondered if maybe he still wanted to be with her, although she knew he would never be able to admit it if he did. She heaved a sigh and decided that these thoughts were best left in the back of her mind, or better yet, in her dreams. She couldn't stand thinking of him all day; it only hurt too much when she saw some hint that he wasn't thinking about her.

She looked up and met his eyes. She suddenly realized that he had been staring at her as she tidied the couch. She felt an awkward, yet somehow comforting, tension in the air separating them, and she wondered if he felt it, too. She was about to break the silence, but House's phone did that for her. When she saw that he wasn't going to answer it, she picked it up and looked at the caller ID. It was the hospital, probably Cuddy or Wilson or the team. She was about to answer it but suddenly realized that doing so would be a mistake. After all, nobody at the hospital knew that she had been staying with House since her separation. She tossed the phone to House, and he caught it. "It's the hospital."

"Obviously," he replied. "They've been calling all morning."

Cameron was shocked that she had slept through these calls but House had not. "It's probably important," she told him. "You should answer it."

He continued to stare into her eyes for a brief moment before finally doing as he was told. He pressed a button and spoke into the phone. "What?"

It was Cuddy on the other side. "I've got a case for you."

House was thankful to have a case. Not only did it mean that he could focus on something besides clinic duty, but it was also his escape from this awkward moment with Cameron. "Perfect," he replied. "I'll be right in."

Cuddy was shocked by this response. "That's it?"

"You were expecting something more?"

"You're not going to ask what's so interesting about it or tell me that you're not interested?"

"Did you want me to?"

Cuddy bit her tongue and realized that she'd almost talked him out of taking the case. "I guess I'll just talk to you when you get here."

House hung up the phone without saying goodbye. He started walking toward the bedroom to change out of his pajamas and into something mildly more acceptable for the workplace, although it would still be far from professional.

"Was that Cuddy?" asked Cameron. She followed House into his bedroom and was slightly surprised to see that he was changing in front of her. She again wondered if he had been watching her change earlier in the living room.

House nodded. "Got a case," he said nonchalantly.

Cameron nodded awkwardly and looked out the window behind him. There was still snow on the ground, and she knew that the roads were icy. "I was just about to leave," she said. She paused for a moment to consider what she was about to ask him. "Do you want a ride to work?"

He looked up at her and wondered what would happen if anyone saw them arrive at work together. Surely they would get the wrong impression and assume that he and Cameron were in some sort of relationship, but they would be far from right. It wasn't as if he didn't secretly want to be with Cameron, but he knew that the odds of that happening anytime soon were slim. He finally nodded in acceptance of her offer. He figured that, if nothing else, he would be able to confuse a few people.

Cameron gave him a smile and left the bedroom to go gather her things for work. It had just occurred to her what people might think if they arrived at work together, but it was too late to take back her offer now. She considered the fact that many people would get the wrong idea about her and House, but that thought only reminded her of how much she wished she truly could be in a relationship with him. She had tried to convince herself otherwise, especially once she had started dating Chase, but she was becoming increasingly aware of how she much she'd been fooling herself over the years. She and House weren't over quite yet. True, they had never really begun, but she was starting to think that maybe someday they might.


	45. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Cameron parked her car as close to the front of the lot as possible, silently scorning herself for forgetting to ask House to bring his handicap ticket.

Thankfully, though, House didn't comment on the distance. He simply hopped out of the car and began the walk toward the hospital. He had been wondering if Cameron would actually walk in with him or take another route to the ER just to avoid any rumors starting. He was slightly surprised to see that she walked with him to the door and through the lobby until finally taking a different direction to the ER. Nobody seemed to be looking at them or even the least bit curious as to why they would arrive together, that is until House noticed Wilson rushing to catch up with him. He had an intrigued expression on his face. House rolled his eyes, and he knew what was coming. Should he jerk Wilson around and suggest that he and Cameron were together? No, Cameron would surely be pissed when she found out, and House knew that such a relationship would be exactly the sort of rumor that Wilson would spread.

"So," Wilson said mock-casually, "you and Cameron coming to work together." He climbed into the elevator with House.

"She gave me a ride," said House nonchalantly. "The roads are icy, you know."

That sounded exactly like the sort of excuse House came up with when he was trying to hide something. "So this has nothing to do with Halloween night?"

House pretended to be confused. Halloween night was about two and a half weeks ago. Honestly, he was shocked that he'd managed to avoid this conversation for as long as he had. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Right," said Wilson skeptically. "That's why she was at your apartment in the middle of the night."

House subtly looked around at the other people in the elevator, wondering if they were listening to Wilson. He tried to convince himself that he didn't care, but it wasn't working. Thankfully, the doors opened up to the fourth floor, and they both walked out together. "She forgot her purse," he explained. "She was just coming back to get it."

How did she forget her purse at his apartment in the first place? He had a better question, though. "So she was only wearing your clothes because she got a little chilly in her dress, then?"

House smirked at the comment and supposed that it was true. After all, Cameron had only put clothes on because she was cold. "Exactly."

Wilson saw that House was walking to his own office rather than stopping at his for a conversation. "You're hiding something," he decided.

"I have a new patient," replied House, pretending to be innocent, although he knew he wasn't fooling Wilson.

Wilson shook his head and made a note to check on House in about ten minutes after their differential was sure to be over. He was going to get to the bottom of this.

House entered his office, dropped his things on his desk, and finally made his entrance in the conference room. "What do we have?" he asked.

Foreman opened the file. "Forty-two year old male presents with shortness of breath, chest pains, confusion, and hallucinations."

House wrote the symptoms on the whiteboard and turned around for input on the differential diagnosis.

"The obvious suspects are drugs, withdrawal, or infection," started Taub. "Cocaine and amphetamine abuse are both likely. We should run a CBC and a tox-screen."

"Since when do we deal with the usual suspects?" asked Hadley. "The ER already ruled out drugs and infection. The shortness of breath and chest pain lead me to believe that it's a heart condition."

"A heart problem that causes hallucinations?" asked Foreman. "It's more likely that it's something that affects both the heart and the brain."

"So what affects both the heart and the brain?" asked House.

Again, Taub was the first to answer. "The other main cause of hallucinations is cerebral hypoxia, which could lead to heart issues. His history says he's getting over the flu. What if it isn't the flu? What if it's carbon monoxide poisoning? We should check his house and workplace for possible leaks, and we should check his blood for carboxyhemoglobin levels."

"That would fit," agreed Foreman, "but nobody else is sick."

"Then maybe the leak's not at his job," said Taub.

"Jobs," corrected Hadley as she skimmed over the patient history. "It says here that he has two jobs."

"Well then maybe it's not at one of his _jobs_," Taub repeated. "The history also says that he lives alone. There could be a leak in his apartment, and nobody else would be sick."

House looked around the table to see if anyone disagreed with Taub or had any other ideas. Unsurprisingly, they didn't. "Okay," he said. "Thirteen, redo the CBC and tox-screen, and check the carboxyhemoglobin levels. Taub, redo the patient history. Foreman, check the apartment and the jobs."

The three fellows all left to go complete their assigned tasks while House returned to his office to relax. Unfortunately, he wouldn't get that opportunity because Wilson was walking into his office, probably to interrogate him again. House rolled his eyes. "Why can't you just accept that nothing happened?"

"Oh, something happened," said Wilson with certainty. "What I'm curious to know is if that _something_ has happened again, which judging by your arrival with Cameron this morning, it has."

"You think I would sleep with Cameron right after she and Chase separated?"

"I don't think you care if a woman is separated, divorced, seeing someone, or even married," said Wilson. "You slept with Stacy, and she was married."

House rolled his eyes. "That was different."

"How is this any different?" asked Wilson.

"Well, for one thing," stated House, "I haven't slept with Cameron."

"Why can't you just admit that you slept with her?" asked Wilson.

"Fine," House relented. "I slept with her, okay?" He was becoming very annoyed with this conversation and hoped that his confession would satisfy Wilson and make him go away. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect.

"You slept with Cameron?!" asked Wilson, shocked for some reason.

House rolled his eyes. "It was only one time, and it's not going to happen again."

Wilson was confused by this statement. If House would admit to sleeping with Cameron on Halloween, then why wouldn't he also admit that he'd been sleeping with her ever since? It didn't make any sense. "Then why did you drive together today?"

House closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He was obviously trying to decide how much to tell his friend.

"She never gives you a ride to work," started Wilson, clearly trying to figure this out on his own. "Even if there is ice on the roads, you still drive yourself."

House rolled his eyes at Wilson's attempt to deduce why he and Cameron had arrived together.

"So she must have been close to your apartment, or she wouldn't have even considered giving you a lift," continued Wilson. "But your place isn't in-between any hotels and the hospital, so she must have gone out of her way."

House appeared confused.

Wilson shook his head. "No, she wouldn't have gone out of her way because she never gives you a ride." He thought for a moment. "She gave you a ride because it was convenient."

House suddenly felt himself tense. Was Wilson actually going to figure this out on his own?

A thought suddenly hit Wilson. "Where has Cameron been staying since the separation?" The guilty look on House's face answered his question, though, and he was stunned. "That's why you lied about sleeping with her!"

House rolled his eyes. "I didn't lie about sleeping with her."

"You just didn't want me to know that she was living with you!" exclaimed Wilson.

"She's not _living_ with me," House corrected him. "She's _staying_ with me until she finds another apartment."

"Oh sure," joked Wilson. "You keep telling yourself that that's why she's there and maybe it'll come true." He gave House a giant smirk.

"Who else is she going to stay with?" asked House, trying to defend himself by giving a better explanation.

Wilson considered this question. Certainly Cameron couldn't stay with Foreman because of his new marriage to Hadley. It would be equally awkward for her to stay with him, Cuddy, and Rachel. She most certainly couldn't stay with Chase. That basically knocked out all of her close friends from the hospital. Perhaps House was her only option after all.

"And I wasn't lying," House insisted.

Wilson seemed to believe him this time, but he was still confused. "Let me get this straight," he said. "Cameron's divorcing Chase, and she needed a place to stay."

House tilted his head as he watched his friend think through the situation.

"So, she asked you." Wilson thought about it for a moment. "And you said yes, but you two aren't sleeping together."

"There is nothing going on between me and Cameron," he tried to convince both his friend and himself.

Wilson almost laughed again. "Right…"

House rolled his eyes, knowing that Wilson would never believe him.

"Well on the note of love," began Wilson mockingly.

"I do not _love_ Cameron," House interrupted, possibly too defensively.

Wilson chuckled at House's comment as he pulled an envelope out of his pocket and presented it to House.

House took the envelope curiously. It was an invitation for his mother's wedding. "You dug this out of my trash?" he asked with an annoyed roll of the eyes.

"You threw her invitation away?" asked Wilson, although he knew he shouldn't have been surprised.

Confused, House looked at the envelope and noticed that it was addressed to Wilson. "She invited _you_ to her wedding?"

"She called me yesterday asking why neither of us has RSVP'ed yet," said Wilson. "I guess I never thought to tell her it was because you threw the invitation away."

"She invited _you_ to her wedding?" repeated House in disbelief.

"She was probably just being polite," said Wilson with a laugh. "She probably just assumed that I would be your _plus-one_ anyway." Seeing the look of disdain on House's face, he continued to mock his friend. "Besides, I'm like the son she never had."

House rolled his eyes. "I already told you," he said. "I don't want to go."

"Why not?" asked Wilson. "You could take Cameron." He was sincerely enjoying this conversation. It was one of those rare moments where he got to mock his friend rather than House mocking him.

"I'm not going," insisted House. He dropped the envelope into the same trash can that he had used to dispose of his own invitation.

Wilson reached into the trash can and pulled out the envelope, though. "You are going to that wedding whether you like it or not," said Wilson. He pointed his finger at House.

House rolled his eyes and obviously didn't believe Wilson.

Wilson stood up to leave with his wedding invitation in hand, but he suddenly remembered something and turned around. "Oh," he said, "Lisa wanted me to ask you if you wanted to come over for Thanksgiving."

House cringed at Wilson's use of Cuddy's first name, more because he was annoyed than jealous. "No, thank you," he said rather rudely, although he knew it wouldn't offend Wilson. Honestly, he did not want to spend Thanksgiving with the girl he once liked, her noisy daughter, and his best friend. Usually he just went out to dinner with Wilson (or ate alone if Wilson was busy with his current wife's family), but not this year. As much as he loved spending time with both Wilson and Cuddy, he didn't want to be with them on Thanksgiving. He could just imagine the two of them plus Rachel being a cute little family together, and the idea sickened him.

Wilson shrugged his shoulders. "Suit yourself." He made his way to the door, but stopped again when he saw that Cameron was entering it. He grinned. "Hey, Cameron," he greeted her. He turned to House and said, "How unexpected." He smirked to himself as he left the office. As much as he wanted to listen to their conversation, he knew that House would never allow it.

Confused, Cameron watched Wilson leave before turning back to House. "What was that all about?"

"He thinks that you're only sleeping on my couch because you're in love with me." It was meant to be a joke, but he noticed Cameron blush ever so slightly.

Cameron tried to hide her embarrassment as she rolled her eyes. She shouldn't have been surprised that House had told Wilson about their living arrangements. "That's actually what I came here to talk to you about."

House was intrigued. Had she come to talk about their living arrangements or her being in love with him?

"I've found an apartment," she said. She noticed House's demeanor turn from one of playful mockery to one of surprise. "One of the ER residents is moving, and she offered me her place."

House didn't know what to say. He didn't want her to leave, but he could never tell her that without also telling her that he liked her. "Good," he said curtly with a nod.

Cameron noticed House's response but didn't quite understand it. Did he not want her to leave? "Are… you upset?"

"Why would I be upset?" asked House, and he forced himself to smile as if Cameron's question was ridiculous.

Cameron didn't believe him. She debated whether or not to take a chance and confront him about his feelings. "So… you acting this way," she hesitantly began, "it has nothing to do with what happened between us?"

House was shocked that she would bring that night up again, but he tried to hide it. "Nothing happened," he insisted.

Now Cameron was annoyed. "It wasn't _nothing_," she tried to tell him. "In fact, it was the opposite of _nothing_. It was _something_."

House didn't know what to do. "What do you want me to say?" he asked with anger becoming evident in his voice. "Do you want me to ask you to stay?"

Cameron's jaw dropped. "I want you to tell me that what happened wasn't just _nothing_," she said. "I want you to tell me the truth for once."

House gave her a shrug, as if he still didn't know what to say.

Cameron shook her head. How could she still be surprised after all of these years? "You are unbelievable," she said. "You know that?"

House rolled his eyes as he watched her dash toward the door.

She paused at the door and turned back to him. "It wasn't _nothing_," she argued. "And I'll have my things out of your place before next Monday." With that, she stormed out of the office.

House allowed himself to frown as he watched her leave. Why couldn't she understand his hesitance? Why couldn't she just understand why he was avoiding a relationship with her? He had just watched her destroy a relationship with Chase from the inside out, and he couldn't bear to go through that. He couldn't stand to see a relationship with someone he cared for so dearly dissolve like that, and he couldn't stand the chance of ever losing her for good. He acknowledged the fact that maybe he was preventing himself from ever having something truly great, but he was also protecting himself from ever being completely alone. At least this way, Cameron could remain in his life. They could remain friends no matter what, just like he and Wilson were. He could settle for never being in a relationship with her as long as it meant being able to keep her in his life indefinitely. Why couldn't she just see that, too?

Before House could give the issue any more thought, though, Taub and Hadley returned to present their findings.

"All of the blood tests were normal," said Hadley, "including the carboxyhemoglobin levels. Whatever's making him sick wasn't caused by drugs, infection, or carbon monoxide poisoning. Foreman's still searching the guy's two jobs, but he called and said he didn't find anything at his apartment."

Taub then presented his findings from the patient history. "He's been getting over the flu for the last few weeks," he said. "He's slightly overweight and has high blood pressure. He also seems a little bit depressed, but I'm not sure it's a symptom."

"Why not?" asked House.

"Apparently," said Taub, "he recently lost a lot of money in the stock market."

House knew that Taub was thinking back to the time when he, too, had lost a substantial amount of money for the same reason.

"And then his wife, Pru, left with their daughter, Sarina, because she was afraid of the financial instability."

"The guy lost both his money and his family," repeated Hadley. "I doubt the depression is a symptom."

House nodded in agreement, but he was beginning to feel even more saddened by this news. He didn't particularly care about his patient's life, but he did care about both his and Cameron's lives. He wondered how depressed Cameron must be feeling because of her divorce, and he surely hadn't helped matters. But then again, that was only more reason not to start a relationship with her. He didn't want to end up like his patient with no money and no family. Of course, that probably wouldn't happen to him, but he _could_ end up with no Cameron. For him, that would be equally devastating.

Taub and Hadley glanced at each other, both wondering what House was thinking about.

House finally snapped back into reality and instructed his two fellows to tell him when Foreman returned so they could run another differential. They agreed to do so as they returned to the conference room. House returned to his desk to continue contemplating his issues with Cameron. He wasn't sure how to solve them, or if there was even a solution. He only knew that anything that would risk the loss of Cameron was something he wasn't prepared to do just yet.


	46. Chapter 45

Author's Note: I just wanted to talk a little bit about what you guys can expect from the rest of this story. Obviously, we've passed the Chase/Cameron and House/Cuddy arcs, and we're now getting into the heart of the story, House and Cameron. I know there are a lot of romance and smut stories out there nowadays, but this is not going to be one of them. I think it's been established by now that I'm trying very hard to stay in-character and follow the canon plot line to the best of my abilities. And _House, MD_ is most certainly not a romance show, although there are some side stories with romance in them. That being said, you're probably wondering what I have in store for House and Cameron. I originally advertised this story as a Drama/Friendship, and that's what it's going to be. Nonetheless, House and Cameron _will_ be more than friends, but I wouldn't go so far as to call them a couple. I wouldn't even call House and Cuddy a couple on the show right now, although it's been established that they are more than friends. In my very first summary (see the summary from the Prologue chapter), I also said that any/all relationships would be very complicated and Houseian rather than typical romantic relationships. I'm not comfortable putting a label on the sort of relationship that House and Cameron will eventually have because of that. They'll be more than friends, but they won't be a normal couple. Take that as you wish. My intent in this story is to give a detailed account of my predictions for a realistic development of the House/Cameron relationship, to study the various characters of our plot, and to teach our characters a few lessons about life, love, and friendship. Without further ado, here is the next chapter. As always, I would love to hear what you have to say! - Liz

Chapter 45

After a week of running tests, House and his team still had yet to uncover the mystery illness that was ailing their patient. His stomach pains and vomiting still had not ceased, and the doctors were reconsidering the notion that his first symptoms were not flu symptoms after all—well, except for Taub, who had other ideas.

"Maybe instead of adding those symptoms," suggested Taub, "we should take them all off. Maybe it's just a bad case of the flu."

"A case of the flu that lasts almost three weeks?" asked Hadley skeptically. "Besides, if he had an infection, he'd have an elevated white count, which he doesn't."

"We should add on all of his flu-like symptoms," agreed Foreman. "If we take those into consideration, it could be an adrenal insufficiency, an electrolyte imbalance, or even cancer."

"It could also be a million other things," joked Hadley. "How are we supposed to narrow it down?"

House thought for a moment. "We test for everything."

"But that would take forever," argued Taub. "Literally…"

"It's not an electrolyte imbalance," stated House. "He's been on saline to keep him hydrated. He would have gotten better by now."

"What about the other possibilities?" Hadley asked.

"Check ACTH, aldosterone, rennin, potassium, and sodium levels in the blood, and also get a CT of the kidneys to check for adrenal insufficiency," House responded. "As for the cancer, we can check the blood for markers."

"Given the symptoms," added Foreman, "it's most likely gastric cancer. We should do a gastroscopic exam."

"Gastric cancer's pretty rare," said Taub, slightly suspicious of Foreman's diagnosis.

Foreman shrugged. "If it wasn't rare, he wouldn't be our patient."

Taub supposed that Foreman was right.

"Go test him," ordered House. With that, he retreated to the yellow corduroy chair in his office to relax. He kicked his feet up and leaned his head back in thought. He hadn't spoken to Cameron all week. In fact, they hadn't spoken since they'd argued. He remembered going home that night to find her suitcase gone. He figured that she had gone to stay in a hotel until her new apartment was free for her to move into, but he wasn't sure. He knew he couldn't keep ignoring the issue, but he also knew that he wasn't willing to confront Cameron about it. Eventually, their paths would cross, and they'd end up talking. Or maybe she would come to him to talk about it. It certainly seemed like something she would do, or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Downstairs in the ER, Cameron was also thinking about the last time she'd spoken to House. She hadn't been lying when she'd said she would have her things out by the end of the week. In fact, she was already moved into her new apartment. Of course, she still had plenty of unpacking to do, but she had enough things unpacked for her to live somewhat comfortably. She just hoped that she could find the time to finish unpacking all of her things before her family arrived in town.

Cameron grabbed a file from the nurse's station and sauntered over to her next patient. She pulled back the green curtain and gasped at the sight before her.

"Surprise!" shouted her younger sister Jenny. She was wearing a pale blue t-shirt with an unbuttoned, white collared shirt. Low-rider jeans fell from her hips to her cute sneakers. A red bandana held back her wavy blonde hair, and the entire ensemble was completed with a dazzling smile. Her green eyes sparkled as she hopped off of the exam table and wrapped her arms around her big sister.

Cameron chuckled lightly. She was certainly happy to see her little sister, but she wasn't exactly prepared to have her staying in her apartment. "You weren't supposed to come in for a few more days," she said as she pulled back from the hug.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" asked Jenny with a fake pout.

Maybe her sister being in town was just the pick-me-up that Cameron needed after her argument with House. "Of course," she said, but she was still trying to soak in the moment. She looked behind Jenny and didn't see anyone with her. She would have thought that if not Sam and Jackie, her friends Andy and Natalie would at least be with her. "Where's everybody else?"

Jenny grinned again. "They're upstairs in the cafeteria," she said. She grabbed Cameron's hand and tried to drag her toward the door. "Come on! Let's go get some lunch."

Cameron let out a tiny laugh and resisted Jenny's pull. "Jenny," she said, "I have patients to see. I can't just drop everything because my sister showed up."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Can't you just take a break for once in your life?"

Cameron smirked at Jenny's childishness. Jenny was what she liked to call an uh-oh baby. In other words, her birth wasn't planned. Cameron was already in high school when her little sister was born, and she'd left for college when she was only two. Jenny was nineteen now, and she still emitted the same glow and sense of immaturity that Cameron remembered from her early years. She wondered if her sister would ever grow up. Sometimes it annoyed Cameron how unrealistic Jenny was, but other times it was Jenny's idealistic nature that Cameron loved most about her. She considered that maybe other people felt the same way about her as well. She remembered House constantly calling her naïve, but she couldn't help but wonder if sometimes he actually enjoyed that annoying quality. Besides, she couldn't believe that she would ever be quite as impractical or romantic as her younger sister, but sometimes she wished that she could be. She finally gave her little sister a small smile and nodded. "Fine," she relented. "Just let me go tell the nurses that I'll be taking my lunch early."

Jenny grinned and waited rather impatiently as Cameron dismissed herself from the ER.

"So what's this surprise that Sam and Jackie have for me?" asked Cameron, remembering what her sister had said on the phone a week ago.

"You'll have to wait and see," replied Jenny, hardly able to contain her excitement.

Cameron and Jenny strolled over to the cafeteria, and Cameron's jaw dropped at the sight before her. As she approached the table at which her brother and sister-in-law were sitting, her brother Sam stood up to give her a hug. His wife Jackie would have done the same, but her hands were occupied with a newborn baby.

"Oh, my god," cooed Cameron. She knelt down on the floor to give herself a better view of the tiny infant. "Why didn't you tell me the last time we spoke?"

"We weren't sure if we were going to be approved or not," replied Sam. He sat back down in his chair and watched as his sister ogled his new son.

Cameron realized that, months ago, Jenny had been correct in saying that their brother and sister-in-law were having difficulties conceiving. Cameron's mind suddenly drifted to Cuddy and her adopted daughter. She hoped that some day she could share in the same joy of parenting that Sam, Jackie, Cuddy, and even Wilson in a sense were now experiencing. She knew that she wasn't ready to have a child anytime soon, but she hoped that one day she would be. "What's his name?"

"Noah," replied Jackie proudly.

Jenny took a seat next to her friend, Andy. "Isn't he adorable?"

Cameron looked up to see Andy subtly watching Jenny's every move. She smiled and wondered if House ever looked at her like that when he thought nobody was looking. She immediately shook the thought from her mind, though, when she realized what a ridiculous notion it was.

She stood up from the floor and took a seat next to her older brother. Unlike her and Jenny, Cameron and Sam were rather close in age. Cameron had grown up with Sam, who was three years older than her, whereas Jenny had practically been an only child. Cameron idolized her older brother. To her, he had always been perfect, and she aspired to be just like him. As she grew older, she managed to establish herself as a successful student and doctor, but it wasn't without Sam's loving support. And now here she found herself, once again trying to follow in his footsteps. Fatherhood suited him perfectly, and she hoped that one day she would experience a similar joy.

After grabbing a salad from the lunch line and returning to the table, Cameron realized that their party was one person short. "Jenny," she commented, "I thought you said your friend Natalie was coming, too."

Jenny nodded. "Oh, she came."

Cameron was confused. "Where is she?"

Jenny turned around to look at a small booth in the corner where a very slender strawberry blonde sat with the one and only Dr. Chase.

Cameron's jaw dropped, but she tried to quickly regain her composure. It wasn't her place to be jealous. After all, they were just talking, and she was no longer involved with Chase.

Jenny turned back around and shrugged. She seemed to realize that her sister was disturbed by this view, but she still defended her friend. "I'm sure she didn't know who he was," she said.

"How could she not know?" muttered Cameron bitterly.

"Well, she's never seen the two of you together," explained Jenny, although she knew that the excuse was ridiculous. True, Natalie had never actually seen Cameron and Chase interact, but she was aware of their relationship.

Cameron thought about the claim and supposed that, although Natalie should know about her marriage to Chase, Jenny was right. After all, the last and only time she had ever seen Natalie was when she was unconscious on the stage. From that moment on, Chase had taken care of her in the ER while Cameron had comforted her sister and Andy in the cafeteria. She remembered returning home that evening without even waiting for Chase to finish with Natalie. She tried not to be bothered by the scene playing before her, but she couldn't stand to see the man who was still technically her husband eating lunch and laughing with another woman—a younger woman, a dancer. Then she realized what a hypocrite she was being. After all, she had slept with another man before technically divorcing Chase. They were no longer together, and they both had the right to see other people as they underwent this divorce. Cameron heaved a sigh in the hopes that with her breath, her feelings for Chase would also leave her body in one swift motion.

"I'm sure she just wanted to thank him for last time," said Jenny. "She's harmless, really."

Cameron nodded and agreed that Chase and Natalie's lunch shouldn't bother her in the slightest. She tried to let go of her jealous feelings, but she soon realized that maybe she wasn't jealous of Natalie for eating lunch with Chase. Maybe she was jealous of Chase for being able to move on. Sure, it was just one lunch, but that was one more lunch than Cameron had had since their separation.

"Are you okay?" asked Sam. He rubbed his sister's shoulder comfortingly.

Cameron gave him a reassuring smile and hoped that it would convince not only him, but herself as well, that everything was okay.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked delicately.

Cameron thought for a moment but shook her head. "There's nothing to talk about," she claimed. "We're over." She knew that Sam was actually inviting her to talk about her divorce rather than the lunch, but she didn't feel like talking about that at the moment either.

Jenny began fidgeting with her fork, suddenly uncomfortable with the situation. "I'm going to run to the restroom," she said and quickly excused herself from the table.

Her absence gave Cameron a direct view of Natalie and her soon to be ex-husband chatting away. She wondered what they were talking about.

At the other table, Chase and Natalie were catching up. They hadn't seen each other in months, and they were both curious about the other. Of course, Natalie was slightly more curious about the attractive doctor than he appeared to be about her. She briefly remembered him being married to her friend's sister, Allison, but she wasn't sure now that she saw them eating lunch at separate tables.

"How's your wife?" she asked politely. "You're married to Allison, right?"

Chase nodded because he was still technically married, but he felt the need to also add, "We're getting a divorce."

Natalie frowned and was sincerely sorry to hear that. "I'm sorry," she said. "What happened?"

Chase smirked bitterly. "It's a long story."

Natalie nodded and assumed that he just didn't feel comfortable talking about it at the moment.

"What about you?" he asked to change the subject. "How are you feeling?"

Natalie smiled and was touched to see that he cared about her health even though they barely knew one another. "Much better," she said, thinking back to the night of her near death. "I… got some help," she admitted.

Chase smiled and was pleased to hear that she was receiving psychiatric help for her bulimia.

"It was just so hard, you know," she added. "There's so much pressure to always be… skinny and slender. I swear, if I don't look a certain way, I'll never get the lead."

"You don't have to make yourself sick just to get a role," he tried to reassure her.

Natalie shook her head. "I'll never be the lead anyway."

Chase tilted his head to suggest that maybe she was being too hard on herself.

"No, it's true," she asserted. She gestured her head toward her friend, Jenny, who had just returned to her seat at the table with her family and Andy. "She'll always be the lead."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"No, really," she insisted. "She's got it all: the looks, the natural talent, everything—and she's young, too."

"She's a very good dancer," agreed Chase. He remembered being amazed at her grace the night that he'd seen them perform. "You're an excellent dancer, too, though."

Natalie chuckled. "You're just trying to be polite," she said. "I collapsed on stage before you even got to see me dance."

"And what a shame it was," he replied jokingly. He was trying to make light of Natalie's accident because it seemed to help her move past it.

Natalie sighed as she admired her young friend; she envied her youth and skill. Nonetheless, Natalie knew that she still possessed talent that many ballerinas would envy, and for that, she should be proud.

Chase, too, glanced over at the table at which Jenny was sitting. He caught Cameron's eye and suddenly blushed. He felt ashamed to be eating lunch with her sister's friend, even though he knew that he shouldn't be. As much as he still loved Cameron, he was trying to move on. He only hoped that she would be able to do the same.


	47. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Thanksgiving night came before anybody was even ready for it. Foreman and Hadley were enjoying their first Thanksgiving as a married couple. Wilson, Cuddy, and Rachel were celebrating their first Thanksgiving as a family. Even Chase, who had recently separated from his wife, was attempting to enjoy the holiday with Natalie (a fact that Cameron had been unaware of until her sister had told her only moments before dinner was done). Months ago, Cameron had planned to sit down to a Thanksgiving feast with her new husband and possibly some close friends or family, but fate had landed her in a new apartment with her brother Sam's family, her younger sister Jenny, and Jenny's friend Andy. It was certainly an unexpected turn in her life, but she hoped that it would be for the better.

Unlike his friends, House was spending the holiday alone. He wasn't surprised really—and his friends weren't either—because he didn't have anyone that he would even want to pass the night with. Of course, he usually celebrated these holidays by ordering Chinese and watching lame shows on TV with Wilson, but this year, Wilson was eating with his girlfriend and her daughter. It amused House that Wilson had spent several holidays with him in the past despite the fact that he'd been married at the time, yet here he was eating with Cuddy and Rachel. He began to wonder if maybe their relationship was becoming more serious than he'd originally predicted it would. He sincerely hoped that Wilson wouldn't ruin this relationship, though, because he knew that he'd have to be the one to deal with it, being a friend to both Wilson and Cuddy. Besides, he was happy that, unlike Wilson's previous wives, Cuddy understood him. He knew that if Wilson and Cuddy ever did break up, it wouldn't be his fault as Wilson's ex-wife Bonnie had suggested.

And then there was Cameron. House certainly wouldn't have objected to passing the night with her, but he knew that doing so was out of the question. He still hadn't spoken to her since their argument, and he was beginning to wonder if they would ever speak again. He assumed that they would, but his uncertainty troubled him. Besides, even if they _had_ resolved their little conflict, he still wouldn't have dinner with her. Her family was in town, and if there was one thing House didn't do, it was family gatherings. He hated his own family enough; he didn't need to deal with other people's families.

House's team had left early that afternoon to spend Thanksgiving with their families (Foreman and Hadley together and Taub with his wife), and he was left alone in his office. He decided that since their patient was stable, he could leave early as well. If there were any problems, the nurses would surely page him. So, he turned off all of the lights and locked up the office before heading out the front doors of the hospital.

When House arrived at his apartment, he dropped his things on the floor by the door and immediately plopped down on the couch. He turned on the TV to see what was on, but he noticed a rather scrumptious aroma wafting throughout the apartment. He couldn't remember ever smelling it before, so he rose from the couch and inspected the kitchen.

On the kitchen counter lay several Tupperware boxes, all sealed with a lid. He could see slices of turkey inside one box, mashed potatoes with gravy in another, and corn in yet another. There was even a small bag of dinner rolls. He smirked at the sight and wondered who had left this meal for him. He noticed a pink note with red writing stuck to the top of one box, so he picked it up and read it:

House,

I never thanked you for letting me stay at your place… Thank you. It really meant a lot to me, although I know that you can't say the same. And I'm sorry for the argument. I hope this makes up for it.

Please enjoy it—you deserve to have a nice meal once in a while, even if you refuse to eat it with other people.

Cameron

House smirked at the note, but then he began to wonder what Cameron had meant by it. Sure, she had cooked him a meal (or at the very least, given him a part of hers), thanked him for his generosity, and apologized for the argument, but he couldn't help but detect a sense of bitterness in her tone. Was she still upset? Yes, she probably was. Could he do anything about it? No, he probably couldn't.

But then it occurred to him that possibly he _could_ do something about Cameron's dejected attitude. After all, he had caused it.

He read her note over and over, trying to read the words that she'd refrained from writing. She shouldn't have been the one to apologize. Of course, he was happy that she had because now it would be much easier for him to do so as well. But she didn't really have anything to apologize for, except possibly for pushing him too far. He should have been the one to tell her that he was sorry. After all, he was the one who refused to tell her how he felt. She had just broken up with her husband—and she was definitely heart-broken—yet she still managed to confess her feelings for him despite it all. And all he could do was continue to lie to her. All he had to do was tell her the truth, and then it would all be over. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't bring himself to admit those feelings because then he knew that it truly _would_ be over—they would be over before he could do anything about it. They would share a few weeks of bliss, maybe even a few months, but in the end, he knew that it wouldn't work out. He didn't want to see the day that he had to tell Cameron goodbye. Maybe he refused to be with her because he wanted them to succeed so badly. He wanted a happy relationship with her, but he knew that any sort of relationship they'd share would be anything but happy in the end. He couldn't handle that.

Nonetheless, he knew that he still needed to make amends with her. He wasn't ready for a relationship yet, but he didn't want to lose her in the time that it would take for him to be ready. He wasn't ready to lose her as a friend.

He contemplated all of the possible ways that he could approach her. He could wait until he saw her at work tomorrow, or he could talk to her tonight. But no, she was with her family at the moment. They were probably sharing childhood stories and reminiscing about their previous holidays. He didn't want to interrupt that—for his sake and for theirs—but he didn't know what else to do. He heaved a sigh before grabbing his keys and heading back out the door from which he'd entered only minutes ago.

In her new apartment, Cameron was trying her best to forget her pending divorce and issues with House for just one night. She was truly attempting to have an enjoyable evening with her family. She had been sitting rather silently as she listened to comical anecdotes about baby Noah's tendencies and interesting stories about traveling with the ballet. It had been a long time since she'd last spoken with her family. In fact, she hadn't really caught up with them when they'd attended her wedding. After listening to their stories, she felt like she barely knew them. Yes, she could still see parts of their characters that she'd become familiar with as a child (Jenny's immaturity and Sam's protective nature), but they'd all taken new directions in their lives that she hadn't been aware of. As Jenny detailed her latest achievement, Cameron could only see her two-year-old sister struggling with pliés in toddler dance class at the local recreation center. And as Sam talked about his new son, Cameron imagined all of the times that he'd helped her with her homework or cooked her dinner. They were such different people from the ones she remembered, and she wondered if they could say the same about her. She thought back to her younger self and tried to envision how much she'd changed over the years. She certainly felt different, especially after having worked with House for three years. She considered the notion that maybe she owed a lot of her recent growth to him. She had certainly learned a lot from House, and even though she no longer worked for him, she still hoped to learn from him in the future. Besides, she had a feeling that he learned things from her, too—not always about medicine, but about life and love and friendship. She smiled as she thought about all of the lessons they'd learned from one another in the past.

A knock at the door disrupted Cameron's reminiscing. She cast her guests a confused expression as she rose from the table and made her way over to the door. Who could it possibly be? She opened the door and was surprised to see that it was House.

"House," she greeted him, still confused. "What are you doing here?" She crossed her arms defensively, although her tone was more curious than defensive.

House had come finally prepared to speak to her, but once he saw her, his mind went blank. "I need a consult," he said without thinking.

Cameron eyed him suspiciously. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and checked to see that it was on. "You couldn't have just called?"

"I was in the neighborhood," he said, but felt stupid for doing so. He tried to cover his cliché with another line that, although just as cliché, would hopefully remind her of the last time he'd come knocking at her door like this. "And I saw the light on."

Remembering the last time that he'd said that, Cameron wanted to tell him that it was daytime, but she noticed the sun setting behind him—too bad. "What are the symptoms?" she asked.

House was confused for a moment until he remembered that he'd lied about his reason for showing up on her doorstep. He figured it wouldn't hurt to fill Cameron in on his patient because they had yet to diagnose him, and she might be able to give him some clue. "Shortness of breath, chest pain, confusion, hallucinations, vomiting, abdominal pain, and possibly flu symptoms," he listed.

Cameron thought for a moment. "I'm assuming you've ruled out drugs, infections, and toxins."

House nodded once and waited for her theory.

"Have you looked for cancer?"

"Blood showed no cancer markers," answered House, "and the gastroscopic exam came back negative."

"Adrenal insufficiency?"

House liked how Cameron could come up with all of his team's differentials without any help. She was like three ducklings in one. "Blood tests and CT were both normal."

Cameron frowned. "You must be missing something," she said and retreated back in thought. "The symptoms could also point toward a heart condition, although some of the neurological symptoms wouldn't fit." She paused for a moment, but then her thoughts drifted to a different subject. "What are you really doing here?"

He was about to tell her that he was here for a consult, but she interrupted him before he could do so.

"If you were here for a consult," she said, "you would have brought the patient file, or you would have just called me. Besides, your patient doesn't have any immunological symptoms, which makes me a rather odd choice for a consult."

House avoided her eyes because she knew that all of her points were valid.

House's hesitance answered Cameron's question. "You're welcome," she told him because she knew that he was here regarding the dinner.

House seemed surprised by her comment at first but quickly realized that she was very clever. He didn't respond.

"I… shouldn't have pushed you," she admitted. "I guess I was still upset about Chase. I guess I'm _still_ upset about Chase."

House narrowed his eyes out of curiosity. He could see that Cameron was withholding something.

"He went out with my sister's friend," she divulged, but she knew that House didn't really care.

An awkward silence fell between them. Cameron managed to pull her eyes off of her shoes and into House's eyes, though. She stared at him briefly before leaning forward. She was relieved to see House lean forward as well. She pulled him gently by the neck and pressed her lips against his. Their kiss was shy and tender. Although they were still unsure of each other's intentions (and their own, for that matter), they both knew that they cared for the other. Cameron let her hand drop from House's neck to his shoulders. She truly enjoyed the feel of his lips on hers, and she sensed that he felt the same way about her lips. Much to their disappointment, though, the kiss was interrupted by the sound of a catchy tune in House's pocket. Annoyed, House withdrew from the kiss and pulled out his cell phone.

"What?" he answered sharply.

Cameron waited with House at the door.

After waiting a moment, House finally responded. "I'll be right in," he said and hung up the phone. He saw Cameron waiting patiently for what she assumed was news on his patient, so he updated her on Devlin's status. "His vision went blurry, and he passed out."

"Add syncope and vision disturbances to the list, and neurological seems more likely," decided Cameron. "But those symptoms could also be caused by hypotension, which would point to a heart condition." She was undecided but hoped that her theories helped House anyway. After their kiss, she almost wanted to invite him inside to eat with her, but he knew that he wouldn't come in, and he needed to get back to his patient. "Don't stay at the hospital too late," she told him. "Your dinner will get cold."

House smirked as he thought about the meal waiting for him on his kitchen counter. He gave Cameron a nod and turned around to leave.

Cameron watched House as he walked down the hallway of her apartment building before finally disappearing behind elevator doors. She really did hope that he could go home soon and enjoy the meal that she'd made for him, but she suspected that he would be at the hospital for a while.

During their kiss, Cameron had still sensed hesitance and doubt on House's part, and she wondered why. What was he so afraid of? Didn't he know that she cared about him? She made a note in her head to talk to him about it later, although this time, she would be more delicate as she did so. She didn't want to see the pain in his face that she felt in her heart like she had after arguing with him. She never wanted to risk hurting him again, and she never wanted to lose him.


	48. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

House drove back to the hospital, thinking about Cameron all the way. He had enjoyed their kiss, although he still felt as if there was some distance between the two of them. Then again, how could he _not_ notice the distance when he had been the one to put it there? Conflicting emotions flooded his mind. He wanted to be with Cameron so badly, but he didn't want to risk ruining something that he thought could be great. Something inside him knew that if he was ever going to be happy with someone, it would be Cameron, but perhaps that was why he was so afraid. If he lost Cameron, then chances were that he'd never be happy with another person ever again. So in a way, preserving the distance between him and Cameron was his only way of clinging to that last shred of hope. He remembered having a conversation with Hadley over a year ago after he'd ordered her a genetic test for Huntington's. After he had mocked her for being afraid to know the truth about her disease, she had told him that when you run out of questions, you don't just run out of answers, but also hope. He had thrown her test results in the trash can because he knew that she was right. She didn't want to know the truth because then she would have to give up hope. There was a chance that she was fine and could stop living her life in fear, but there was also a chance that she would die soon. And the same was true of House and Cameron. There was a chance that they would succeed and live happily ever after, but there was also a chance that their relationship would go terribly wrong and end in pain. And like Hadley's disease, there was an equal (if not higher) likelihood that the worst would happen, and he couldn't stand that. He couldn't bear to see the day that he lost not only Cameron, but hope as well.

He tried to push the negative thoughts from his mind, though, as he entered the conference room adjacent to his office. Foreman, Hadley, and Taub were all inside and waiting for him. He could tell that they were upset by the fact that they'd had to leave their Thanksgiving dinners early to be here, but they didn't seem to realize that maybe House would rather be somewhere else, too.

"Can't this wait until tomorrow?" asked Hadley. "So the guy passed out. It's not life threatening."

House tried to ignore Hadley's annoyance because, although he felt a similar disdain for having to work at the moment, he also wanted to solve this case and get it out of the way. He added the two latest symptoms to the whiteboard:

**Shortness of Breath**

**Chest Pain**

**Confusion**

**Hallucinations**

**Vomiting**

**Abdominal Pain**

**Flu Symptoms**

**Syncope**

**Blurry Vision**

In an attempt to save time, House relayed Cameron's two theories to the team. "The symptoms could point to either a neurological condition or a heart problem," he said. "The new symptoms could have been the result of hypotension, but they wouldn't really explain the other neurological symptoms. Ideas?"

Hadley reread the patient history. "He has high blood pressure, though," she said. "I doubt he was hypotensive."

"Actually," noted Taub, "a fluctuating blood pressure could indicate a heart condition."

"No," Foreman disagreed, "the symptoms point more to a neurological problem."

"But the chest pain and shortness of breath are highly indicative of a heart problem," argued Taub.

"But the hallucinations and confusion aren't," Foreman fought back.

"They could be caused by hypoxia," suggested Taub. "Maybe his heart's not getting enough blood to his head, hence the neurological symptoms."

Foreman obviously disagreed, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he looked at House to see what he had to say about the matter.

House wasn't really surprised that Foreman thought the issue was neurological. After all, he was a neurologist, and a close-minded one at that. He also wasn't surprised that Taub disagreed with Foreman, as he so often did. Still distraught after his meeting with Cameron, House didn't really feel like arguing. "Run an EKG and an echo to check for heart problems," he ordered them, "and then get an MRI of his brain."

The team nodded in agreement before leaving the office.

Once they were gone, House sat down on the glass table and stared at the whiteboard, trying to figure out what was wrong with his patient. He must have lost track of time, though, because he heard the door behind him open. Surely his team wasn't done with the tests yet. Or perhaps something else had gone wrong. Maybe they had a new symptom that would help them solve the puzzle. He turned around to see who it was, and much to his surprise, it was Cameron.

"Shouldn't you be eating dinner?" he asked her.

"Shouldn't _you_ be eating dinner?" she retorted with a smirk. She crossed her arms and looked at him quizzically. The air between them still felt thick, and she wanted to make the distance go away. She wanted things to go back to the way they were. _"The way they were was kind of weird," she had told him years ago. "Weird works for me," was his response._ In an attempt to break the ice, Cameron divulged information. "We finished early," she said. "My sister wasn't very hungry to begin with, and I guess my brother and his wife wanted to get their son to bed."

House looked down at the wristwatch that Kutner had given him for Christmas two years ago. It was a little past eight o'clock. Cameron had the night off, so what was she doing here? He looked at her expectantly.

Cameron hesitated before speaking. She looked at the whiteboard and decided that maybe starting off by talking about the patient would be a good way to get the conversation going. "How's he doing?"

"No better since last time we spoke," he said slightly sarcastically. It hadn't been that long since he'd visited her at her new apartment. When he saw her concerned expression, though, he added, "but no worse either."

Cameron's facial expression lightened. "Running tests on the heart and brain?" she asked.

"EKG, echo, and MRI," he stated dryly, still looking at the whiteboard.

Cameron nodded at this information and wasn't sure what to say next. It seemed that their conversation had reached a turning point, and if she wanted it to go on, she would need to change the topic. She walked deeper into the room and stood at the end of the glass table that he was still sitting on. She rested her eyes on the whiteboard as she spoke. "I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay at your place," she started on a positive note, hoping that it would open more room for them to talk.

"Yeah, I read the note," he responded without looking at her.

Cameron bit her lip. He was making this very difficult for her, wasn't he? She wasn't too surprised, though. She took a leap. "What are you so afraid of?"

House looked at her curiously. He wasn't quite sure what she was talking about, but he had a feeling. He wasn't sure if he wanted to have this conversation, but he knew that he'd have to have it eventually.

Cameron shook her head. "On Halloween night," she began but suddenly realized that she didn't know how to finish the sentence. She took her eyes off of the whiteboard and rested them on him. "You kissed _me_," she finally said. She had kissed him on numerous occasions, but that night had been the only time that he'd actually been the one to start the kiss.

House returned his eyes to the whiteboard. She was just stating the obvious now, but he knew that she wasn't done.

Seeing his hesitance, she sat next to him on the table. She was forcing him to acknowledge her presence. "Why did you do it?" she asked, hoping that she hadn't just started another argument.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Cameron rolled her eyes. She didn't want to know if that meant that he'd only kissed her because he thought he could get sex from her. "But it doesn't anymore?"

House turned his head to look down into her eyes. Was she asking him to kiss her? No, she meant something else. She wanted to know why he had kissed her and then tried to deny any feelings for her, just as he had done in her first year working for him. He had hired her because she was pretty, damaged, and an exception to social norms, and then he had refused to admit that he liked her. "What do you want me to say?" he asked her, although his tone was less contemptuous than the last time he'd asked that question.

Cameron shook her head. He was never going to come out and say that he liked her. "I want you to explain your logic to me," she said, earning a confused expression from House. "I just don't understand why you would do this," she continued. "I've already told you that I like you, so what are you so afraid of?"

House continued to stare into her eyes. _I'm afraid of losing you,_ he wanted to say but couldn't. "I know you like me," he said simply and returned his eyes to the whiteboard.

Cameron sighed. If he knew how she felt, why was he running from her? Surely he wasn't afraid of being turned down because he already knew that she would accept any offer he made. Then what was it? What was he afraid of? If he wasn't afraid of being turned down, then he was afraid of being with her. Despite the fact that he would never admit it, she knew that he liked her, too. So, why would he be afraid of being with her? Unless he wasn't afraid of being with her; he was afraid of what would happen when they were no longer together. He was trying to protect himself from loss by never getting involved in the first place. She sighed. How could she ever convince him that she was worth the risk? "Life's a gamble," she told him quietly. "Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But the whole point is to play the game. What fun is it to sit on the sidelines and watch others play?" She found it odd that he would gamble with anything, even his patients' lives, but he would never gamble with his own heart.

_It's not fun,_ thought House, _that's why I try not to watch._ But then it suddenly hit him: life's a gamble. "He's depressed," he muttered mainly to himself, but Cameron was listening to every word he said.

Cameron was slightly annoyed by his comment because it made her feel like he wasn't listening to her. Obviously he was focusing on the patient rather than considering her advice. Nonetheless, being the person that she was, she indulged him. "Why's he depressed?"

"His wife took his daughter and left," he responded.

Cameron frowned. There was so much loss in the world. No wonder House was afraid to gamble with his heart. But did House honestly think that his patient regretted ever marrying his wife or ever having his daughter just because they'd left him? "Why did they leave?" she asked curiously.

"They lost a lot of money in the stock market," replied House, thinking back to what Taub and Hadley had learned from the patient history. "His wife was afraid of the financial instability."

Cameron furrowed her brow at this comment. "That doesn't make much sense."

House nodded once. "My thoughts exactly," he said.

"Leaving a husband would only mean _more_ financial instability," deduced Cameron, "especially if she planned to raise their daughter on her own."

"Which means he's lying," concluded House.

"Why would he lie about that?" asked Cameron.

House thought about it for a moment and remembered the comment that had first led him down this path: life's a gamble. "He wasn't lying about why they left."

"But you just said—"

"He was lying about how they'd lost the money."

Cameron was still confused. "What do you mean?"

"He's a gambler," decided House.

Suddenly Cameron understood what House had meant. "But what does that have to do with why he's sick?"

House wasn't sure quite yet, but he knew he was on to something. A beeping noise sounded in his pocket, and he pulled out his pager. He read Foreman's message on the screen:

**Seizure in the MRI**

"He had a seizure," House told Cameron in the hopes that one of them would have an epiphany. He thought for a moment. "It's carbon monoxide poisoning."

"I thought you already ruled that out."

"We did," House agreed, "but now I've ruled it back in."

"But why—"

"It fits," he answered.

"The blood tests were negative."

"Carboxyhemoglobin levels can return to normal if he wasn't exposed to the source recently."

Cameron could agree with that. "Either he was trying to quit the gambling, or he just couldn't afford it anymore," she said. "But I thought you checked for leaks."

"We did," stated House, "but we only checked the apartment and his two jobs. We _didn't_ check the back room in the bar with all of the smokers where he's been playing Texas Hold 'Em every night."

Realization hit Cameron. He had inhaled too much cigarette smoke. His gambling was related to the diagnosis after all. She watched as House pulled out his cell phone and dialed Foreman's number.

"It's carbon monoxide poisoning," he said. "He's been inhaling too much cigarette smoke." Foreman presented all of the refuting evidence that Cameron had already mentioned, and House repeated his own proof that the diagnosis was correct. "Start him on oxygen," he said before hanging up the phone.

As House erased the whiteboard, Cameron contemplated the patient's diagnosis. Carbon monoxide fit all of his symptoms, including all of the flu-like symptoms. It even explained some symptoms that weren't on the list: depression and agitation, which apparently weren't simply the result of losing his family. It could even cause impaired judgment, which would explain why he had been unable to quit gambling after losing so much money. His gambling had killed not only his family, but it was killing himself as well. And he would never fully get better until he could learn to stop. He could never return to that bar full of smoke, or else he would go hypoxic and die.

Cameron couldn't believe that Devlin would gamble away so much money. He had a wife and a daughter who loved him. They probably would have stuck by him through the hard times, even after he'd gambled away a large sum. His wife would have probably stayed if she knew that he would never risk their livelihood again. Sure, they were probably never the richest of families in the first place, and perhaps that was why he gambled. Maybe he was just trying to give them the life that he knew he couldn't with his job alone. That didn't excuse his gambling, though. Maybe his life would never have been extraordinary, but at least he would still have his family, and that's all that really mattered.

But then Cameron suddenly understood why House was avoiding her. They shared a wonderful relationship. They were close friends, and they'd been growing closer in the last few months. He really did care about her, but that's exactly why he refused to give up what they already had. He didn't want to gamble away their friendship in the hopes of winning a glorious relationship because there was a chance that, like his patient, he would come up broke. Although she still wanted a relationship with him, she finally understood why he was so hesitant to start one. And for that, she was grateful.

Cameron smiled to herself. She hopped off of the table but let her hand linger on House's shoulder. "Happy Thanksgiving," she told him warmly. "I hope your dinner's not too cold." With that, she let her hand fall down his arm, and once it had reached the end, she gave his hand a squeeze and left the office.

House watched her walk away. He wondered what had gotten into her, but he was happy that she no longer seemed upset. Unlike most Americans, he rarely thought about the things that he was thankful for on Thanksgiving. Today, though, he truly did have something to be thankful for, and that was Cameron. Once she was out of earshot, he muttered to himself, "Happy Thanksgiving." It was a message that he wanted to relay to her, but he sensed that she heard him even when he didn't speak the words out loud.


	49. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

After diagnosing the patient, House returned to his apartment. He could still smell the hearty aroma of turkey drifting from his kitchen, although the scent had become much weaker. He hoped that the dinner Cameron had prepared for him wasn't too cold, but he knew that he could always heat it up.

He stared at the Tupperware boxes still lying on his counter. The pink note that she had written to him was still stuck to the top of one of them. _Please enjoy it_, she had said, _you deserve to have a nice meal once in a while, even if you refuse to eat it with other people_. He knew it was a shot. She was berating him for refusing the company of a friend—for actually choosing loneliness when the alternative was also an option. He knew now more than ever that loneliness wasn't his only option. Cameron had finally realized that he was only trying to protect the both of them, and with that understanding, acceptance would hopefully come as well.

He smiled as he reminisced about his evening thus far. He closed his eyes and imagined Cameron's lips on his. It was a sweet, wonderful feeling, and he had never wanted it to end, but life was just too cruel. And then she had showed up at his office later in the night to talk to him. He remembered her sitting next to him on the table. The smell of her perfume still lingered in his nose, and he could still feel her side brushed up against his own. Had she sat that close to him on purpose? Was she aware of the effect that she had on him? Yes, she had to know that the mere thought of her made him tremble. He wondered if he had the same effect on her, and he secretly hoped that he did.

House's eyes shot open once he realized what he was doing. He silently scolded himself for having such thoughts about Cameron. Hadn't he just been celebrating the fact that Cameron finally understood the reasoning behind his hesitance? How could he be having these thoughts about her?

House tried to distract himself by tasting the various dishes of his dinner. He pulled the lid off of the box of mashed potatoes and dipped his finger in the gravy. He put his finger up to his lips and found the gravy to be surprisingly tasty. He had never pictured Cameron as a cook, but she was always full of surprises.

Just as he was about to try out a piece of turkey, there was a frantic knocking on his door. He smiled to himself before dropping the piece of meat. He headed into the living room to answer the door. Cameron had come to talk to him yet again, and he wondered what could be on her mind this time. He smirked as he opened the door. "What is it now?" he playfully joked, but his smile immediately vanished when he saw the sight before him.

"It won't stop," said Jane Massey, who had never noticed the smile on House's face. She was holding her tiny son in her arms. "I've already called Dr. Wilson. The ambulance should be here soon." She knew that House was going to ask why, if Wilson was already coming, she needed his help. "I think he's having trouble breathing."

House stepped aside and let the woman enter his apartment. He watched Jane sit Michael down on the couch and then went to grab some old towels to help stop the bleeding. He also grabbed his stethoscope before returning to his guests. Jane immediately took a towel from House and thrust it up against her son's nose. House pressed his stethoscope against Michael's chest to listen to his lungs. He heard the boy struggle to take quick, shallow breaths. He listened to his heart; it was racing. He finally wrapped the stethoscope around his neck and examined Michael. His face looked paler than ever, but it was also plump and slightly swollen. _Oh god_, the thought to himself but managed not to say anything out loud.

Jane could see the surprised look on House's face, and it troubled her greatly. "What is it?" she asked, frightened. "What's wrong?"

"How long has he been like this?" House asked, not really giving her an answer.

"He just started bleeding a few minutes ago," she replied.

"What about the breathing?" he asked.

She tried to remember the first time she'd noticed her son's difficulties breathing. "I guess he's been a little short of breath for a few days, but I didn't think anything of it," she answered. "He's always tired."

House knew that Michael's leukemia made him very tired, but this was something else.

"What's going on?" she asked again.

"The acid levels in his body are increasing," replied House.

"What does that mean?" she asked. "Is this because of the leukemia?"

"No," stated House almost sadly. "It's the chemo."

"The chemo?" Jane was confused.

"His kidneys are shutting down," House informed Jane and watched her eyes fill with terror.

"Is he going to be alright?" she asked.

Before House had to give her an answer, though, Wilson quickly entered through the unlocked door. He was followed by a paramedic.

"What's going on?" asked Wilson. "Did you get the hemorrhaging to stop?"

Jane pulled the old towel away from Michael's nose and noticed that blood was still pouring out of his nostrils. She shook her head gravely at her son's oncologist.

Wilson could see the distraught expression on House's face, and he knew that the bleeding wasn't the only problem. "What is it?" he asked.

"Metabolic acidosis," replied House. "His kidneys are shutting down."

This news surprised Wilson, but he managed to turn to the paramedic behind him. "Get him on a gurney and meet me at the hospital."

The paramedic helped Michael onto a gurney, and he led Jane into the ambulance.

Wilson remained in the apartment with House, though. He studied his friend briefly before speaking. "Do you want a ride?" he asked.

"What?" House asked, clearly confused by the question.

"You should come to the hospital with us," insisted Wilson. He knew that although House would never admit it, he cared about his two neighbors. Maybe he had found them annoying and needy at first, but after months of helping them through these medical emergencies, he had surely grown attached to them both.

House rolled his eyes. "I just got home."

"House," pressured Wilson. He knew it was a lost cause, though. "Are you okay?"

House forced a smile and rolled his eyes. "I'm fine," he stated. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Wilson nodded his head and knew that his friend was lying. Then the smell of turkey and gravy caught his nose. "What's that smell?"

"Don't you have a patient to go help?" he deflected. He wasn't quite ready to talk to Wilson about the new developments in his relationship with Cameron.

Wilson knew that House was trying to hide something, but seeing as he really did have a patient to see, he left the apartment without another word.

Once Wilson was gone, House looked at his couch. There was a drop of blood on the leather, and he wiped it off with a towel before it sank in. Then he looked at the red stain on the ratty old rag. He thought of all of the acidic blood coursing through Michael's veins and arteries. If he didn't receive help soon, he could go into congestive heart failure or even a coma.

House collapsed onto the leather sofa and fell deep into thought. Michael had almost died, and he wasn't in the clear quite yet. There was still a very good chance that he would die, and soon too. He let himself frown, knowing that there was no one around to see it. He had come so close to losing another person. It was true, he didn't care about Michael or Jane the way that he cared about Wilson or Cuddy or Cameron, but he did care about them. He desperately tried to distance himself from his patients because he couldn't handle the pervasive loss that was inevitable in his chosen field, but he couldn't ignore them when they lived next door. And look what good it had done him: he was about to lose Michael despite all of the care and attention that he had devoted to him.

Without warning, Cameron's beautiful face appeared in his mind. He let his eyelids fall and could see her glowing green eyes and striking blonde hair. He tried to push the image of her face from his mind, but she was ingrained in his head forever.

He sighed. There was just no escaping this terrible feeling. He feared a relationship with Cameron because he knew that he would ruin it in the end, but he had done nothing to harm Michael, and yet he would still probably die. It seemed that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to hide from loss. It would always find him, and there was nothing he could do about it. It appeared that no matter how much you tried or how much you cared, everything was bound to end poorly. Romantic movies always ended with the heart-warming thought that love could conquer all, but House knew that it was a lie. No matter how much you loved someone, it was bound to end in pain. Eventually, that person would either leave or die. _That's one of the great tragedies of life_, thought House. _There's no such thing as a happy ending._


	50. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

The next morning, House sat at his desk, staring out the window into the grey haze that had fallen over Princeton. It had taken him hours to fall asleep last night after Jane, Michael, and Wilson had left his apartment, and the sleep that he finally managed to fall into was a rather restless one, full of scattered dreams and tossing and turning. Early in the morning, he had finally given up on any hope of rest. He'd played his piano for a little while before eventually deciding to come into work. He noticed that his fellows were all surprised to see him in so early, but none of them dared to question it, especially since they could tell he was in a less than cheery mood.

House remembered the meal that Cameron had prepared for him. After dealing with Michael's emergency, he hadn't been hungry, so he'd refrigerated it all in the hope that he would soon be able to enjoy it.

Before House had the chance to divert his own thoughts away from Cameron, though, she marched solemnly through his office door. He was both relieved and upset to see her. Every minute he spent with her was sixty seconds of torturous bliss. It was like looking at the most beautiful thing in the world, all the while knowing he could never actually touch it because doing so would be like opening Pandora's Box. She was graceful and seductive and full of love and wonder, but he knew that she was also capable of inflicting pain and anguish on anyone who drew near. Being with her would be both the best and the worst thing that ever happened to him, but he wondered if the benefits outweighed the risks. Part of him wanted to believe that she could never hurt him, but he knew deep down that the simple act of loving her would be torturous enough. He knew that, like Pandora, she meant him no harm, but despite her pure intentions, pain would be the ultimate consequence of her actions. He only wondered if curiosity would eventually get the better of him as well; he wondered if one day he would find himself incapable of resisting her any longer. As precious as that day would be, he hoped that it would never come.

"Wilson told me what happened," she said, her voice calmer than he'd ever heard it before. Like Wilson, she knew that House secretly cared for Jane and her son Michael, and she didn't want to hurt him any further. In fact, she had come to console him.

House didn't want her pity or comfort, though. He wanted to make her believe that he didn't care at all about his neighbors because, maybe then, he could convince her that he had no feelings for her either. "I'm fine," he said and decided to add in a roll of the eyes for an annoyed effect.

Cameron knew that he was trying to cover up his emotions as he always did. "Wilson says he's on the transplant list," she continued, trying to make conversation. "He's not sure if they'll find a donor match in time, though." She concluded her statement with a sigh.

House nodded. Wilson had already told him all of this, and he suspected that Cameron knew that. He figured that she had an ulterior motive for visiting him and this was simply the best way for her to open up communication. So, he looked up at her expectantly, waiting for whatever it was she had to say.

Seeing the expression on House's face, Cameron took a seat in the chair across from him. She could tell that something was bothering him. He wasn't speaking very much, and she felt the distance between them increasing once again, despite her revelation the night before. She thought about her words carefully before speaking. "Can I ask you something?"

"What?" He was curious to see what she wanted to know, although he wasn't sure yet if he wanted to give her an answer.

"Are you sorry?"

"Sorry for what?"

"For helping them," she finished her question. "Are you sorry you helped Jane whenever Michael's hemorrhages just wouldn't stop or when he couldn't seem to breathe? Do you wish they'd never discovered you were a doctor and had to rely solely on Wilson?"

House was confused by her question. It was the last thing he'd expected her to ask. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Cameron rephrased her question, "do you regret ever helping them?"

House was, again, both surprised and befuddled by her inquiry. "Why does that matter?"

Cameron shrugged. "Jane probably appreciates all of your help," she said, "but I'm sure she always knew that you wouldn't be able to save her son."

House didn't know where she was taking this conversation, but he was beginning to get a feeling.

"What about Jane?" she asked. "Do you think she regrets ever having Michael just because he has leukemia?"

House didn't respond. He was listening to her intently, assuming that her questions were rhetorical.

"Her son is about to die," said Cameron. "Do you think she wishes that he'd never been born, or do you think she's reveling in every last minute that she has with him?"

House was taken aback by Cameron's phrasing. He was starting to understand her point, though.

"Everything ends poorly eventually," Cameron echoed House's thoughts from the night before, "but that's only more reason to never let the opportunity of actually living life pass you by." She paused for a moment. "Michael's about to die, but I know you don't regret helping him or ever meeting him."

House stared into her green eyes intently. He knew that she was waiting for him to confess his true feelings for her—to admit that despite the inevitable pain it would bring, he wanted to be with her. He wasn't sure that he could do that, though. The pain of losing the woman he loved greatly surpassed the pain of losing a neighbor. It would hurt less when he lost her if he had never actually possessed her in the first place, and it was for that reason that he could never be with her.

Cameron frowned when he refused to respond to her words. She knew that he was still too afraid of the pain to ever admit that he loved her. She wondered if he realized that he would never be able to avoid the pain, though. He already loved her, and whether or not they ever started a relationship, he would be devastated when he lost her. Cameron only hoped that she would be able to convince him of that fact before it was too late. She stood from her chair and leaned slightly over the desk to meet House's eyes. "I'm sorry about Michael," she offered her sympathies before turning around and leaving the room.

House could feel a slight twinge in his chest, and he knew that he would never be able to elude the pain in his heart. He already cared for her, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He only hoped that he could stop loving her before it was too late and he was heartbroken for good.


	51. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

Later that afternoon, Cameron left the ER to meet her sister for a lunch that they'd planned the night before. Because Cameron didn't have much time to eat, they settled on just meeting in the hospital cafeteria.

Jennifer Cameron was waiting for her older sister at a small, round table in the center of the room. She smiled and waved as she saw her approaching at last. "You're late," she said, although it was apparent that she didn't really care. After all, she was still on Thanksgiving vacation, and she had nothing better to be doing.

"Sorry," Cameron apologized, though she didn't really need to. "Have you been waiting long?"

Jenny shook her head. "How was your morning?" she asked. "Have fun sewing stitches and realigning bones?"

Cameron smiled. "I guess you could say that." She saw that her sister had already purchased each of them a chicken Caesar salad, so she grabbed one and began eating it. She wasn't very hungry, though, so she only ate a few bites of lettuce before dropping her fork.

"Not hungry?" asked Jenny, who didn't seem to be that hungry either. Then again, she never seemed hungry.

Cameron shrugged. "Maybe I'm still full from last night," she supposed, but she knew that such wasn't the case. She knew that the only reason she had no appetite was because of House. Their discussion had left her feeling rather distraught and irritated.

Jenny could tell that her sister wasn't being completely honest, though. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Cameron was about to tell her that there was nothing to talk about when she realized that she really _did_ want to talk about it. "I just don't understand him," she began.

Jenny was a little excited to hear that her sister's troubles were about a guy. She hadn't heard Cameron talk about anyone besides Chase since the divorce, and she barely ever mentioned him. "Who?"

"House," Cameron responded.

"House," repeated Jenny, trying to remember how much she knew about the man. "Didn't you used to work for him?"

Cameron nodded. "He was the one who was knocking at the door last night," she said.

"And he was the reason you wanted to go back to the hospital after dinner," Jenny guessed. She was even more curious now. "What did he want?"

"He wanted," Cameron began without thinking about what she would say. "I don't know what he wanted. I guess that's why I'm confused."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," replied Cameron, "he said he needed a consult, but he obviously didn't. And so I thought he just wanted to thank me for the dinner I left him—"

"So that's why you were boxing up some turkey!"

Cameron smirked but was a little embarrassed for some reason. "—but he would never come to my apartment just to thank me. Actually, he'd never even thank me in the first place."

Jenny was perplexed. "Well, what else could he have wanted, then?"

"I thought he wanted," Cameron began but couldn't allow herself to say the words aloud for fear of reminding herself of the relationship she wanted but couldn't have. She looked at her naïve little sister and thought about how much to reveal. "He kissed me last night," she finally decided to say, "but then when I went to talk to him later, he wouldn't admit that it meant something."

"He's a _guy_," retorted Jenny with a laugh.

Cameron shook her head. "That's not what this is about," she claimed. "One minute he kisses me, and the next he tries to convince me that he doesn't think of me that way. He's been doing this for years, and I just don't understand why." She thought about everything she'd learned about House in the last two days. "I think he's just afraid."

Jenny thought about what her sister had said for a moment before speaking again. She shook her head. "No, it seems to me like you understand him perfectly," she corrected her. "I just think you don't want to accept it."

Cameron frowned at her sister's observation. Who knew a nineteen-year-old could be so insightful? "His neighbor almost died last night," she stated, "and I think he took it as a sign that getting close to someone would only mean pain in the end."

"He's right," Jenny agreed with House.

Cameron was taken aback by this comment. Her sister was the last person she would ever expect to side with House, especially when it came to such a thing as love.

Seeing her sister's surprise, Jenny continued. "Can I tell you something?"

Intrigued, Cameron nodded.

Jenny thought for a moment just to make sure she really wanted to talk about what she'd brought up. "You know Andy?"

Cameron nodded again.

"He used to go out with Natalie," she divulged. "It didn't work out though, and she was really upset when they broke up." Seeing her sister's obvious interest, she continued. "I think he has feelings for me—and I really like him—but that's why I can't be with him. I saw what happened to Natalie after they separated, and I didn't want that to happen to me." She shrugged. "He doesn't have to be my boyfriend to be just what I need."

"But he and Natalie are still friends," argued Cameron. "So what if the relationship doesn't work out? You can still be friends."

Jenny shook her head. "I know they only hang out together because of me," she said. "They didn't speak for weeks after the break-up. They finally had to talk to each other, though, when we started performing together." She sighed. "From what you've told me, Ally, this guy really has feelings for you, but he's just trying to protect you."

"Well, then it should be my decision, not his."

Jenny shook her head. "He's trying to protect himself, too," she claimed. "He's probably been hurt in the past, and he doesn't want to go through that again, especially with someone he cares about so much."

Cameron thought about the pain that House's last relationship with Stacy had brought him. She couldn't believe that their relationship would end like that, though. She would never disrespect his wishes, and she would never hurt him. But Stacy had probably thought the same thing. After all, she'd only done what she did to save his life, and she'd done the very same thing with her own husband five years later. Cameron contemplated the notion that Stacy had never intended to hurt House, but she inevitably had. Maybe the same would be true of their relationship in the future—if they ever had one, that is.

"He doesn't want a girlfriend," asserted Jenny. "What he wants is a _friend_."

Cameron knew that Jenny was right, but she didn't want to accept it. "Then he shouldn't have kissed me."

Jenny giggled. "He _loves_ you."

Cameron shook her head. "No, he doesn't."

Jenny tilted her head sideways in disbelief. "Whatever," she forfeited. "Either way, he obviously cares about you, but that doesn't mean that a relationship is a good idea right now."

Cameron clung to the last two words of Jenny's sentence. Perhaps a relationship with House wasn't a good idea right now, but that didn't mean that someday down the road they wouldn't be ready. With that hope to reassure her, Cameron smiled. Her smile disappeared, though, when she saw her little sister's eyes begin to droop. "Jenny," she asked, "are you alright?"

Jenny's head fell to the side, and Cameron jumped from her seat. She rushed to her sister's side and felt for a pulse. She felt Jenny's body fall into her own, and Cameron immediately pulled her to the floor. "Code blue!" she shouted as loudly as she could while beginning CPR. She thrust her fists up and down on her little sister's chest, hoping with each push that her heart would begin beating once again.

Another nurse who had been eating lunch a few tables away rushed out of the cafeteria and into the ER, where she alerted several other nurses that a crash cart was needed. Minutes later, they returned to Cameron's side.

While a nurse continued CPR, Cameron started charging the defibrillators. Another nurse quickly injected Jenny with epinephrine in the hopes that it, too, would help.

"Clear!" called Cameron as she prepared the defibrillators. The nurses took their hands away from Jenny's body to avoid being shocked. Cameron sent electric shocks through her sister's body as tears slid down her face. "C'mon, Jenny," she muttered under her breath. "Charging, clear!" she shouted again, but the shocks didn't seem to be helping.

"Dr. Cameron," began one of the nurses but was cut off by Cameron's desperate calls.

"Clear!" she said again and gave her sister another shock to the heart. Like the others, it didn't work.

"Dr. Cameron," started another nurse. She tried to grab Cameron's arms but was pushed aside as Cameron tried yet again to restart her sister's heart.

The first nurse managed to pull the defibrillators from Cameron's weak hands, though, as the other one pulled her back from the motionless body on the floor.

More tears slid down Cameron's cheeks as she saw Jenny's closed eyes and still chest. She couldn't be gone. She just couldn't be.

Author's Note: So, this scene wasn't originally going to be so close to Michael's accident, but as you read earlier, I had to cut 15 chapters from the story. I'm sorry if it seemed like a quick development, but I had to include it because it's an important part of the plot. I assure you that it won't be a completely random event, though. The next chapter includes further explanations. There are two chapters left in Part III, and ten left in the story. Let me know what you thought of this chapter! - Liz


	52. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

The next morning, Wilson found House sitting in his office. He was curious to see why his friend was at work on a Saturday, but he didn't question it. House was staring out the window behind his desk, and he was obviously deep in thought. Wilson wondered if he'd heard about Cameron's sister.

"Hey," he greeted him. He wasn't sure he'd gotten his friend's attention, though, because he didn't turn around. Wilson could see the grey sky outside the window and decided that it was suitable weather given the circumstances. "Is it sill raining?" He figured that House wasn't in the mood to discuss anything of importance, so he tried starting with small talk.

House didn't respond to the question, though. He knew that Wilson could see out the window and that he was only trying to make small talk. He hated small talk.

Seeing that his first strategy wasn't going to work, Wilson tried cutting to the chase. "I take it you heard about Cameron's sister," he said, assuming that this news was the reason that House was in such a melancholy mood. Honestly, he was surprised to see him so upset by the death of a girl he'd never even met.

House's brow furrowed, and for the first time since Wilson had entered, he made eye contact with his friend. "What are you talking about?"

Wilson's jaw dropped slightly. Maybe he hadn't heard. But then why was he in such a gloomy mood? "She died yesterday," he said sadly.

House was confused. "I thought she was only twenty or something."

"Nineteen," Wilson corrected him.

"What happened?" He was curious to know what sort of illness could kill an athletic nineteen-year-old girl. There was a chance that she'd had some chronic condition like cancer, but he highly doubted it. Cameron probably would have said something—or maybe she wouldn't have. She obviously didn't want to tell him about her sister's death, so he had to hear it from Wilson.

"Cardiac arrest," Wilson replied, and seeing House's confused reaction, he continued. "She had a severe electrolyte imbalance."

Realization hit House, and Wilson could see it written all over his face. "She was bulimic."

Wilson nodded. "I'm surprised Cameron didn't tell you."

"Cameron knew her sister was bulimic?" That didn't make any sense. She would have done something about it.

Wilson shook his head. "I'm surprised she didn't tell you that her sister died."

House wondered why Cameron hadn't told him, but it didn't take him very long to figure that after the conversation they'd shared yesterday, she probably didn't want to talk to him, especially about something so personal. That would explain why she'd told Wilson, though; he was always there for the needy.

Wilson could see that his friend was busy contemplating something, and he had an idea what it was, too. He also wondered why Cameron hadn't told House about her sister and if maybe it had something to do with House's behavior. "What happened?" he asked.

House was confused once again. "How would I know?"

Wilson shook his head. His friend had misunderstood him. "What happened between you and Cameron?"

"What makes you think something happened?"

"Because something's always happening between you two," he replied, and seeing that this answer hadn't satisfied House, he added, "and because you were upset when I came in here. You didn't know about Cameron's sister, so I can only assume you were upset about _Cameron_."

"Cameron's not the only thing that can upset me," House shot quickly, but he tried to lie again in order to divert Wilson's attention away from his personal life. "And I wasn't upset—I'm _not_ upset."

Wilson rolled his eyes. He could see right through his friend. "Right," he said skeptically. He decided not to push the issue, though. If House needed to talk, he knew that he was always willing to listen. "The funeral's on Monday," he said. "You should go. They're holding the service in Princeton since most of her family and friends are already here. She's being cremated."

It was House's turn to roll his eyes. "Why is it that anytime someone gets married or dies, you expect me to go pay my respects?"

"It's called being respectful," said Wilson, playing off of House's word choice. He wanted to throw in a joke, though. "And you're _going_ to your mother's wedding."

"You can't make me," House joked back. "Besides, I didn't even know her."

"But you _do_ know Cameron," retorted Wilson.

"I'm guessing all of the other people attending the funeral do as well."

Wilson rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Why is it such a big deal?" he asked. "It's just a quick ceremony and a reception. There'll be food. Isn't that reason enough for you to go?"

"She doesn't even want me there," said House.

"You don't know that."

"She didn't even tell me her sister died!" shot House. "It's a safe bet she doesn't want me at the funeral."

"What is going on between you two?" asked Wilson, repeating his first question, although this time with much more interest.

"Nothing," House repeated his lie.

"Something obviously happened," argued Wilson, "and you obviously don't want to tell me what it is."

"If you know I'm not going to tell you what it is," retorted House, "then why are you trying so hard to figure it out?"

Wilson smirked. "So something _did_ happen."

House knew he'd fallen into Wilson's trap, and he had no choice but to come clean. "We had a… _discussion_ yesterday," he said.

"You mean you had an argument."

"I said _discussion_."

"Right," said Wilson, clearly suspicious. "That would explain why she didn't tell you about her sister and why you don't want to go to the funeral."

"She doesn't want me there," House insisted again.

Wilson rolled his eyes at his friend's stubbornness. "She needs a friend."

"She doesn't want a _friend_," said House, obviously irritated by Cameron's wishes for a relationship. He suddenly froze when he realized what he'd said, though.

Wilson studied his friend and tried to comprehend what he'd just said. "She doesn't need a _boyfriend_ right now," he asserted as if House was being too stupid to see the obvious. "She needs a _friend_."

House was thankful that Wilson hadn't made a big deal about his little slip. "Then _you_ should go."

Wilson shook his head. He probably _would_ go just to support Cameron, but that wasn't the point. "She needs to know that you're there for her," he said before quickly adding, "as a friend. She just got divorced, House, and all of her friends are involved with other people. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but you're probably the best friend she has right now. You _have_ to go to the funeral."

House didn't respond, but he contemplated Wilson's words. Was it true? Were he and Cameron really friends? More importantly, was it true that he was the best friend that Cameron had? It seemed like an odd concept to him at first, but he quickly realized that it was probably true. He'd never really had a friendship with Cameron before. They'd always shared a rather awkward relationship full of sexual tension and subtext, but now they were truly friends. Sure, she still wanted more, but he couldn't deny that he thought of her that way as well; of course, he would still _try_ to deny it, but he'd never be able to fool himself.

Wilson was annoyed that House wasn't responding to him. "At least think about it," he pressured before turning around and leaving the office.

House leaned back in his chair and, for the first time in a long time, actually did as his friend said. He didn't want to face Cameron, but maybe he needed to. As much as he hated to admit it, maybe Wilson was right.


	53. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Much unlike the week before, Monday morning welcomed sunshine and very few clouds. Anyone who wasn't attending the funeral of Jennifer Cameron would have called the weather beautiful—a welcome day of warmth in the midst of a chilly season. Unfortunately, Cameron was too preoccupied with thoughts of death and loss and grief to realize that the sun was shining down on her pale face as she walked up the steps of Princeton United Methodist Church. She wasn't religious anymore, but her mother was. Cameron had lost all faith in a greater being long ago, but her mother clung to religion as her only source of hope. Cameron found it odd that Jenny's death had probably made her mother more religious than ever before, yet she found it even harder to believe in the existence of a god. After all, how could such a righteous god let such a young, loving person die? Jenny had been so innocent, and she didn't deserve this cruel fate.

Then Cameron began to wonder if Jenny had truly been as innocent as she seemed. After all, she'd died of bulimia. She was a gorgeous girl, yet she still felt insecure about her image—most likely the result of competition pressuring her. Cameron wanted to blame the ballet industry for Jenny's death, but she knew that it wouldn't be fair. She wished that she could blame Jenny for her own death (How could she have given in to the pressure?), but she knew that it would be even more unfair to blame a nineteen-year-old girl for caring about her looks. When there was no one left to blame, Cameron tried to blame herself. Her mind drifted back to all of the meals she'd shared with her sister recently. How had she not noticed that Jenny never ate much? How had she not found it odd that Jenny always used the restroom during or immediately after a meal? Why didn't she think it curious that Jenny always needed a stick of gum when she returned? _If I'd seen it sooner_, Cameron wondered, _would she still be alive_?

Cameron spotted her mother sitting in the front pew of the church, and she immediately hurried toward her. She hadn't seen her since the wedding, and so much had happened since then. She'd gotten divorced. She'd fallen in love with another man only to discover that she could never be with him. Her sister had died.

"Oh, Ally," her mother greeted her and pulled her into a much-needed hug.

Cameron could feel a few silent tears streak down her face and onto her mother's black dress.

"Are you okay?" her mother asked.

Cameron almost chuckled but couldn't bring herself to smile. Her mother was often so concerned with the well-beings of others that she forgot about herself. It was a trait that Cameron had inherited, and she sometimes wondered if that was a good or a bad thing. Cameron gave her mother a reassuring nod even though she was all but okay.

Behind her mother, Cameron could see her brother Sam sitting with his wife Jackie and son Noah. She frowned at the sight of the newborn Noah already having to attend his first funeral. She glanced around the church and saw Andy and Natalie sitting a few rows behind them. They weren't sitting together, and Cameron suddenly remembered Jenny saying that they were only friends because of her. Would Jenny's death break more than their hearts—would it break their friendship, too? She could see several young, attractive girls sitting in-between the two, and Cameron assumed that they were Jenny's fellow ballerinas who had flown into Princeton for the memorial service. She rested her eyes on the devastated Andy. Jenny had refused to have a relationship with him because of the pain that it could potentially caused them both, but did she ever stop to think that she would cause a similar pain when she left him for good? Did she know that Andy's heart would be broken anyways, not only because of her death, but because of the fact that they'd never shared a life together? Cameron frowned at the sight before her and wondered if someday she would be mourning a similar loss. She wondered if House would stop being so stubborn before it was too late.

Cameron's mother saw her staring at the young violinist, and she tapped her on the shoulder. "Allison," she said softly, "are you alright?"

Cameron returned to reality and nodded. She was about to take a seat at the end of the pew when someone at the doorway caught her eye. It was Wilson. She wasn't entirely surprised that he'd come, but she was certainly happy to see him. "I'll be right back," she told her mother before walking back to the entrance doors to greet her friend with a hug.

"How are you?" asked Wilson, who was obviously worried about her.

"Better than last night," she answered honestly. Her puffy eyes told Wilson that she'd spent the night crying in her pillow. He'd seen those same puffy eyes years before after her date with House.

"I brought you a gift," he said in an attempt to cheer her up.

Cameron managed to smirk. "You bring gifts to weddings, not funerals."

"I forgot to bring you a wedding gift," he joked.

"No, you didn't," replied Cameron. "Besides, I'm not married anymore, so it doesn't matter."

"Well, it's too late," asserted Wilson. "It's already here."

Cameron playfully rolled her eyes at his thoughtfulness. "Where?" she asked, playing along with his game in the hopes that maybe for one second she'd forget what she was doing in a church.

Wilson turned to look behind him and was annoyed to see that there was nothing there. He quietly cursed to himself. "I must have left it in the car," he lied, causing Cameron to almost smile again.

"I'll tell you what," she said. "You can give it to me after the ceremony."

Wilson nodded his head once in agreement before taking his seat in a pew near the back of the church.

Cameron returned to the front pew where her mother, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew were all seated. She took a seat at the end of the row and waited for the memorial service to begin.

It wasn't long before a preacher approached the podium and began speaking. He welcomed the mourners and opened with a prayer.

The congregation stood, and near the end of the prayer, Cameron could see movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned to see what it was and was shocked to find that House had positioned himself next to her at the end of the pew. She was surprised to see him not only in a church, but at a funeral—at the funeral of a girl he didn't even know. Surely this was the gift that Wilson had brought her, and what a wonderful gift it was. Once the prayer was over, Cameron leaned into House and whispered, "What are you doing here?"

House tilted his head and looked at her as if the answer was obvious.

Cameron nodded. He didn't need to speak for her to know exactly why he was here. He had come to support her, to stand next to her and let her know that he was there if she needed anything. The sight of him standing next to her almost made her heart throb, and she wasn't sure if it was because she'd fallen in love with him even more or because she knew that she'd never be able t to express the love that she already had for him.

House looked down the pew and saw an older woman sitting next to what appeared to be a family consisting of a man, his wife, and a baby boy. He wondered where Cameron's father was, and if his absence from the funeral was in any way related to his absence from Cameron's wedding. He'd looked up Jenny's obituary on the internet. It had provided a list of people whom Jenny had been preceded by in death. Her father hadn't been one of them, so where was he?

When Cameron's mother approached the podium to deliver a eulogy, House listened intently for any clue that might help him solve the mystery that he'd begun months ago in Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital when he'd asked Cameron why her father hadn't walked her down the aisle. His eyebrows perked when he heard that the woman speaking had raised the deceased all by herself since she was only a year old ("And I'm darned proud of the gracious woman and graceful dancer that she was," she added). House did the math in his head and realized that Cameron's father had left the family for some unmentioned reason just as she had been preparing to leave for college. It wasn't long after then that she'd married a dying man and decided to enter medical school. It didn't surprise him really. He'd always known that Cameron had serious abandonment and trust issues, but he'd never known why. And now he did. Her father had left, and because of it, she clung to any sign of love but had developed a rather untrusting manner. She couldn't trust men because she figured they would leave her, so she struggled to ever open up or reveal too much of herself to another person. But at the same time she was so desperate to recover that which she'd lost. She was desperate to fill the hole that her father had left in her heart. And so, she entered doomed relationships, incapable of trusting another, in order to fulfill her need for love. As much as she probably loved her first husband, she knew that it wasn't a long term commitment; she knew that she would never have to be vulnerable enough for her husband to actually hurt her. And then she had reluctantly married Chase for no other reason than to keep him from leaving. She hadn't particularly wanted to marry him, and she obviously didn't trust him enough to tell him so, but she'd married him anyway to ensure that she wouldn't be alone. Everything suddenly made perfect sense to House—everything but one thing, that is.

Cameron trusted him. He could remember countless times when she alone had faith that his medical judgment was uncompromised, that he was doing the right thing no matter how insane it sounded. She trusted his diagnoses, his courses of treatment, everything. Sure, she questioned him when she felt that he was wrong, but she also trusted him enough to stand by his side when nobody else would. And then she had come to him for help when she'd discovered that Chase was planning to propose. She had come to _him_ when she'd been faced with the dilemma of destroying her husband's sperm or her relationship with Chase. She actually trusted him.

House looked down at Cameron, trying to read the expression on her face. It was one of grief and hurt, he thought, but also one of gratitude. Or was that hope? He could tell that she was happy to have him with her, but he was beginning to feel mixed emotions about the entire situation. He had come to the funeral because he knew that, as Wilson had said, Cameron needed a friend. But after the realization that she trusted him above all others, he wasn't feeling very comfortable. Obviously, Cameron felt something for him that she didn't feel for Wilson or Foreman or any of her other male friends. She really did _love_ him, didn't she? He had always suspected as such, but he'd never been entirely sure until now, and he didn't know what to do with this new information. His mind told him to run before it was too late, but his heart (and Wilson's voice inside his head) told him that he simply couldn't do that—not now after all that had happened. He took a deep breath and tried to maintain his composure as he watched Cameron's mother return to her seat at the other end of the pew.

Cameron could sense that House was uncomfortable with the situation. If it were any other person sitting next to her, she would simply grab his hand and give it a comforting squeeze to let him know that everything was okay. This was House, though, and the less physical contact, the more comfortable he would be. It wasn't that they didn't enjoy each other's touch, but Cameron knew that House wasn't ready to touch her so comfortingly and lovingly like that. So, to calm him, she cast him a quick and almost emotionless glance to let him know that she wasn't going to interpret his actions as some grand gesture of love, but rather one of friendship.

Perhaps Jenny had been right. Perhaps she didn't need a boyfriend right now. Maybe she just needed a friend. An ounce of hope would always linger in Cameron's heart, though. She yearned for the day that she and House would truly be _together_, but she knew that even if that day never came, she could be satisfied with her life. After all, couldn't you love a friend? Many people say that the love one shares with a spouse is timeless and stronger than any other, but Cameron wasn't so sure. She'd watched her father run away from his family. She'd seen Wilson lose one girlfriend and divorce three wives; his only constant had been House. Why couldn't she be friends with House and still love him undeniably? Why couldn't he do the same? Maybe one day the love that they shared would escalate and they would be together, but until then, why couldn't she just accept the love that he was willing to offer her? She knew that he was a loyal friend to those few people he cared for, and she felt grateful to be one of them.

Once the ceremony had ended, the entire congregation rose from the pews and exited through the doors of the church. Cameron, however, remained in the room, knowing that House would do the same. She could see Sam, Jackie, and her mother waiting for her by the doors, and she would join them in a second. But first, she had to talk to House. She opened her mouth to speak, but the million words that were dying to escape jammed in her throat, leaving her speechless. "Thank you," she finally managed to say. She stroked his arm lightly as she walked around him and down the aisle to meet her family.

House turned with Cameron and watched her walk away from his side. A shock ran up his spine as her delicate fingers dropped down his arm. He wanted to grab her hand and bring her back to him. He wanted to pull her into a loving embrace and kiss her until he couldn't breathe, but he didn't. He watched her leave the church.

Once Cameron and her family were gone, Wilson walked from the back of the church to meet House, who was still standing in the front. He could see the loving look in House's eyes, but he knew that he couldn't say anything without causing House to withdraw, so he remained silent on the manner. "Was that so bad?" Wilson jokingly asked.

"Yeah," responded House before he realized that Wilson was talking about attending the funeral rather than watching Cameron leave. He tried to cover up his slip with a joke. "I thought you said there would be food."

"That's at the _reception_," said Wilson, happy to see his friend caring so much about a woman again. "It comes _after_ the funeral."

"Well, it _is_ after the funeral," replied House. He began walking down the aisle toward the entrance doors with Wilson. "So, where's the food?"

Wilson knew that House was joking, so he simply smiled and shook his head. Together, they returned to the car. Wilson drove House to the reception, where he assured him that there would be food. House wasn't really worried about the food, though. He was only worried about Cameron.

**To Be Continued…**


	54. PART IV, Chapter 53

**PART IV**

Chapter 53

Cari Candide and her husband sat down to a nice, quiet game of Scrabble. After 25 years of marriage, it had become their favorite pastime. In fact, they made it a point to play Scrabble every Friday night, and this Friday was no different.

"Abaculus," said Cari as she placed her tiles on the board. She winced slightly at the pain in her knuckles as she did so. It was a cold day in the middle of March, and her arthritis was acting up.

"Logolepsy," her husband replied, not really noticing his wife's pain. He, too, laid his tiles down on the board, using the _s_ in abaculus to complete his favorite word, which was defined as an obsession with words.

Cari knew that logolepsy was her husband's favorite word. After all, he tried to use it every time they played. She'd always found it a rather ironic choice, though. As a couple, they loved to play Scrabble, but their articulation never left the game board. As much as they enjoyed each other's company, neither person had ever been one to talk much. Their conversations were typically short and trite. Still, Cari didn't mind this lack of communication. She knew that her husband loved her, and surely he knew that she loved him. How else could their marriage have lasted so long? "Logorrhoea," she finally said as she placed her tiles on the board and counted her points. It was another ironic word, considering it was defined as excessive talking.

Her husband Thomas (or Tom, as she liked to call him) smiled at her skillful playing. He stared at his tiles for a second before deciding which ones to lie down. "Syzygy," he stated proudly.

"That's not a word," Cari laughed.

"Yes, it is!" claimed Tom. He grabbed their trusted dictionary to prove to his wife that syzygy was, in fact, a real word. "Ah!" he said, pointing to an entry. "You see? Here it is." He showed it to her.

"Syzygy," she read aloud, "an alignment of three celestial bodies such that one body is directly between the other two, such as an eclipse." She thought for a moment. "I don't think I've ever seen an eclipse with _three_ bodies lined up." She shrugged it off, figuring there were plenty of things in existence that she had never seen before.

Tom beamed boastfully. "It's your turn."

Cari nodded and scanned her tiles, looking for a decent word to put down. She was about to lay down the word tacit when she realized that she also had the letters _u_, _r_, and _n_. "Taciturn," she said. It was a synonym for uncommunicative.

"Dextrorotatory," said Tom, using the word that meant to turn something clockwise or to the right. He'd never understood why such a word would be necessary, but he still found some small joy in knowing it.

"Oh," groaned Cari as she leaned forward.

"Oh?" asked Tom. "That's not a very clever word."

Cari shook her head. "It hurts," she said, clutching her chest.

"What hurts?" asked Tom, suddenly worried for his wife.

"My chest," she said. She took a deep breath, but that only made it hurt worse. She collapsed onto the floor, bringing the Scrabble board with her.

"Oh, my god!" exclaimed Tom as he rushed to his wife's side. "Are you alright?"

"I think," she began as Tom helped her lay down. She realized that she was even more uncomfortable in that position, though, and immediately shot up. "I think I'm having a heart attack."

Tom could see the frightened and pained look on his wife's face, and he darted to the phone sitting on a table. He dialed 9-1-1 and ordered an ambulance before rushing back to his wife's side. "The ambulance will be here soon," he told her comfortingly, although he knew it wouldn't ease her mind very much. "Hang in there. How are you?"

"Solicitous," she answered. _Worried._


	55. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

House sat in his desk marveling at the weather outside his window. This last winter had been a rather gloomy one, full of snow and rain and loss. But now spring was on its way, and he couldn't help but hope that with the warm weather, warm tidings would also come. It was the middle of March, and there was still a chill in the air, but for the first time in months, it wasn't hard to imagine a sunny day. He could see the glow of sunshine peaking through the clouds, and he knew that despite the distressing events of the winter months, there was still a chance for happiness in his future.

After all, since the death of her sister, Cameron had seemed resigned to sharing nothing more than a friendship with House. He could still tell that she wanted more from him (and he secretly wanted the same), but she was no longer pushing him for it. Her acquiescence had opened up a whole new world for the both of them—a world full of companionship and sharing, a world full of friendship and love. He was becoming fonder and fonder of her by the day, and he was pleased that Cuddy and Wilson were no longer his only real friends. He was happy to know that there was another person in his life who genuinely enjoyed his company and cared for his well-being. And although he was a little frightened about how he felt the same way, he was also excited to feel something so strong for another person again. He hoped that nothing would ever ruin their friendship. He sensed that, as in his and Wilson's friendship, although the toughest of times would challenge their bond, it would never be able to break it. That thought comforted him immensely as he considered the possible future that he could have with Cameron.

Thoughts of his new friend were disrupted, though, by the entrance of his oldest one. Wilson walked into House's office with a cheery look on his face. This joy was something new; it hadn't been experienced too often in the last few months, but it was very welcome now. "Hey," he greeted him.

House nodded his hello to Wilson. "What's up?"

"Got a case?"

House shook his head and knew that Wilson was only asking to make sure that now was a good time to talk. He was curious to hear what he had to say. "What's up?" he asked again.

"Cuddy and I are going to Vegas," said Wilson with a grin and a wiggle of the eyebrows. He was obviously excited.

House was a little shocked to hear this news, and also why Wilson seemed so eager to tell him about it. "What? Why?"

Wilson shrugged. "Neither of us has taken a vacation in a while," he said, "and we thought it'd be fun."

House shrugged his eyebrows. He couldn't disagree with him, but he knew there was more to this story. "Why would you go all the way to Las Vegas when Atlantic City is so close?"

Wilson chuckled. "We need an excuse to go to Vegas?"

House obviously wasn't satisfied with this answer. He wanted details.

Seeing House's expectant glare, Wilson elaborated. "We just wanted to see some shows and get away for a while," he said.

House didn't believe Wilson. They were going to Las Vegas for a specific reason, and what that reason was, he was very interested. "When?"

"In a few weeks," said Wilson. "Want to come?"

House was taken aback by this invitation. Why would his two friends (who were currently in a serious relationship) want him to join them on a vacation? Something was going on. "Why would you want _me_ to go?"

Wilson smirked. "Well, after all that money I've lent you, you've run me dry," Wilson slyly replied. "We were hoping you could pitch in a few bucks at the casinos."

House was even more suspicious now; Wilson wasn't telling him the real reason they wanted him to come. "I'll think about it," he said for no other reason than to give Wilson a false sense of security. He would drag his friend's real motives out of him long before he ever boarded a plane to Las Vegas.

Satisfied with this answer, Wilson nodded and left the office right as Cuddy entered it. They cast each other a loving glance, although House could see a hint of shrewdness in their expressions as well. He was even surer now that they were conspiring against him. He wasn't going to let them get away with this, but the file in Cuddy's hand told him that their games would have to wait.

"You have a case," Cuddy confirmed his suspicions.

Once Wilson was out of earshot, House asked, "Why are you and Wilson going to Las Vegas?"

"We just want to get out of town for a while," she explained. "The patient had a heart attack that wasn't a heart attack."

"That doesn't make any sense," replied House. "And that's exactly what Wilson said."

"So why do you doubt us?" she asked coyly. "She came into the ER, and her EKG was normal. There was no heart attack."

"Pericarditis," guessed House. "And it wouldn't be the first time you've conspired against me." He could list countless times, actually, and they never ended well for him (hence the reason he was so hesitant to accept the offer).

"Yes," Cuddy confirmed House's diagnosis, although she was secretly admitting to the conspiracy planning as well. "Her pericardium is inflamed, and she has a fever."

"Infection," stated House; it was an easy diagnosis. "Why would you want _me_ to go on a trip with you guys?"

"We're friends," replied Cuddy simply. "And there's no infection. Her white count is normal."

"We're friends," agreed House, "but _you're_ a couple."

"If you think it'd be awkward, feel free to take someone with you," retorted Cuddy. "Maybe you could take Cameron." She loved to joke about the romantic feelings House had for his former fellow, especially because she knew he hated it.

House rolled his eyes and suddenly didn't feel like talking about this trip anymore.

"What?" she asked playfully. "No brilliant comebacks?"

House sneered at her in annoyance and took the file from her hand.

Cuddy left House's office with a sense of pride. Not only had she conned House into taking a seemingly simple case, but she'd eluded a conversation about the trip to Las Vegas. If her scheme worked out as planned, House would be boarding a plane with her and Wilson in approximately two weeks, and he'd have no idea what he was getting himself into.


	56. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

After Cuddy had smugly left his office, House made his way into the adjacent conference room to present the new case to his fellows. He wrote the patient's two symptoms on the whiteboard:

**Pericarditis**

**Fever**

Foreman, Hadley, and Taub all read over the patient history to catch up.

"Infection," suggested Hadley as she scanned over the symptoms on the whiteboard. The diagnosis seemed pretty simple and obvious to her, so why was House taking this case?

"White count's normal," House responded, repeating Cuddy's words.

"It was one test," protested Hadley. "We should rerun it."

"Okay," House said sarcastically. He was slightly annoyed by the fact that Hadley was stating the obvious. Honestly, didn't she already expect him to order them to rerun all of the previous labs? "Well, while Pathology's working on that, what else can we look for?"

"Cancer or autoimmune," suggested Taub.

"Metastatic cancer is most likely," agreed Foreman. "We should run blood tests to check for cancer markers. And we should also check her ANA and sed rate for autoimmune to be safe."

"She already has cardiac symptoms," added Taub. "We should get an hs-CRP for autoimmune as well."

House, who had other things on his mind, was satisfied with this brief differential. He ordered his lackeys to rerun the original tests, get a better history, and run the additional tests that Foreman and Taub had suggested. Hopefully they would bring back something more interesting than what they currently had because he wasn't really hooked quite yet.

The team was slightly surprised that House had ended the differential so quickly without shooting down Taub's suggestions or at least adding some of his own, but they didn't dare question it. So, they left the office without a word to go complete their assigned tasks.

House, who rarely did anything medically related between differentials, decided to go down to the ER for a _consult_ (or at least that's what he'd call it if somebody asked him why he was down there). Once he'd arrived in the Emergency Room, House took a seat behind the nurse's station and rested his feet on the counter.

Cameron, who had just finished with a patient and was about to grab another file, noticed him and happily welcomed him with a smile. "What's up?" she asked. Sometimes, she felt like Wilson. House would just show up unexpectedly while she was trying to work just to discuss some silly triviality or piece of gossip, and occasionally, he would even ask for medical advice. While the other members of the ER staff found his presence annoying, Cameron was beginning to enjoy it.

"Why would Wilson and Cuddy be taking a trip to Las Vegas?" He seemed to be contemplating possible explanations for this apparently unnatural occurrence.

Cameron smirked. "They need an excuse to take a vacation?"

"No," replied House simply, "but they need an excuse to take a vacation on such short notice, and they need an excuse to invite me."

Cameron didn't know where to begin with that statement. What did short notice mean, and why had they invited House? Did they really need a reason to invite their friend? When a thought occurred to her, she finally decided to go with her first question. "When are they leaving?" she asked curiously.

"They said the beginning of April," he responded, hoping that this would mean something to her and she could give him an answer.

Cameron seemed mildly surprised by this news. "That's odd," she muttered.

"What's odd?" asked House. "That it's so soon?"

Cameron shook her head. "A few months ago, Cuddy asked me to register for an immunology conference in Las Vegas. If I remember correctly, it was at the beginning of April."

House was very interested now, but surely Cuddy wouldn't trick him into attending a conference on immunology. He was an infectious diseases and nephrology specialist. Still, the timing was rather peculiar. "Are you going?" he asked. Perhaps it wasn't lectures that Cuddy was trying to trick him into seeing, but rather _Cameron_.

Again, Cameron shook her head. "I'd already made plans to visit my sister for Easter," she said without thinking, and just as she had, a look of anguish spread across her face. Her sister had only died months ago, and while the pain was becoming less and less, she was still having difficulties going through the day without remembering it. Jenny's death still haunted her like her husband's did. It disturbed her just like her father's leaving, her divorce with Chase, and every other tragic moment in her life had.

House could see the tormented look on Cameron's face. After spending so much time with her in the last few months, reading her facial expressions came as easily to him as reading a book. He could remember learning what surprised looked like when he'd given her a chocolate first aid kit for Christmas. And then on New Year's Eve, he'd learned giddiness after she'd enjoyed several glasses of champagne. Lust was learned on Valentine's Day as she sneaked a kiss from him when he was least expecting it. The fond memories passed through his mind, and he began to wonder if maybe the last few months had been better than he remembered.

"Do Wilson and Cuddy really need a reason to invite you?" Cameron asked after regaining her composure. "You're their _friend_."

"They're a couple now," said House incredulously. "Couples don't invite their friends on vacation with them."

"Unless their friends are also a couple," replied Cameron simply. Once she realized what she'd said, though, she quickly added another comment. "Don't you want to go? A trip to Las Vegas seems exactly like the type of vacation you'd like." She smirked as she grabbed a new file.

House watched Cameron stroll behind another curtain to treat a patient. Her initial comment had not eluded him, and he remembered Cuddy actually suggesting he bring her. As much as he would love to do just that, he couldn't. Just as Cameron had said, couples only invite other couples with them on vacation. Inviting her to join him would mean that they were actually together, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that.

Cameron could feel House's eyes burning into her back, as if his stares could penetrate not only the curtain behind her, but also her own soul. She tried to concentrate on the patient, but her mind was elsewhere. She would love to join House, Wilson, and Cuddy in Las Vegas, but she knew that House would never invite her. Still, perhaps there was some way she could swindle her way into going. But first, she would need to know what House's two friends were plotting….


	57. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

Immediately after visiting with Cameron, House made his way to Cuddy's office. He'd come to the conclusion that since Cameron wasn't attending the conference in Las Vegas, this trip had nothing to do with her, unless she was secretly in on the plot as well. Would she do that to him? House couldn't quite decide, but he figured that if she'd agreed to keep a secret from him, it must not be about something of consequence. Perhaps this trip was more of a surprise than a scheme.

He decided that the best strategy would be to approach Cuddy as if he knew nothing of Cameron's possible involvement. So, he barged into her office and waited for her to hang up her phone before speaking. "You're trying to get me to attend a conference," he said proudly, as if he'd won some game.

Cuddy looked at House in confusion. "What?"

House was slightly discouraged by Cuddy's bewilderment. If she really _was_ planning on sending him to a conference, she would have denied it, acted surprised, or just come clean. Instead, she just seemed lost. Still, he wouldn't give up so easily. There was still the chance that she'd become a better liar since the last time she'd plotted against him. "The trip to Las Vegas," he clarified.

Cuddy chuckled when she heard this news. "You're still obsessing about that?" she asked with a shake of the head. "The Las Vegas conference in April is on immunology, not infectious diseases."

"The two are related," he said nonchalantly.

"I'm sorry," Cuddy joked, "did you _want_ to go to the conference?"

House quickly shook his head. "So," he said, "you _aren't_ trying to get me to attend a conference?"

"If I thought I could trick you into attending a conference, I would have tried years ago," she claimed. "Wilson and I do not plan to attend a conference in Las Vegas, and we don't intend for you to either."

House sighed. He was about to leave when Cuddy stopped him.

"Have you made a decision yet?" she asked. "We really need to know soon if we have to buy another plane ticket and book another room."

House looked at her suspiciously. If this trip were about him, they would have done that already. But no, they were going to go even if he didn't. The beeping of his pager saved him from having to answer her question, though. "Gotta go," he avoided her query and left the office.

Back in his own office, he found Hadley waiting for him.

She stood up from her seat and delivered the test results. "The blood was negative for all cancer markers," she said, "but her ANA was positive. Given her history of joint pain, I'm suspecting rheumatoid arthritis. I've started her on prednisone."

House nodded, not really surprised that the diagnosis was so simple. How had Cuddy managed to trick him into taking this case? Right when he was about to sarcastically offer his congratulations for such a brilliant diagnosis, Taub stormed into the office with Foreman.

"She's peeing blood," said Taub. "Her kidneys are shutting down."

Hadley was confused. "Rheumatoid arthritis wouldn't cause kidney failure."

Now Taub was confused. "She doesn't have rheumatoid arthritis."

"Her ANA was positive," she informed him. "I started her on prednisone."

"Well, obviously it's not working," replied Foreman.

Hadley thought for a moment. "Maybe it's not rheumatoid arthritis," she conceded, "but what about other autoimmune disorders? Inflammation could cause the kidneys to fail. We should keep her on the corticosteroids for a while to see if she improves."

House sarcastically nodded his approval. "The wait-and-see strategy always works," he stated.

"Her ANA was positive," insisted Hadley. "She's got an autoimmune disorder. Corticosteroids should help to suppress her immune system. If I'm right, she'll get better—even if it's not rheumatoid arthritis."

"And if you're wrong?" asked House.

"Her ANA was _positive_," repeated Hadley.

"What else could cause pericarditis, a fever, and kidney failure?" asked House, ignoring Hadley's suggested course of treatment.

"Cancer," said Taub. "Tumors in the abdomen could obstruct the ureters and cause kidney failure."

"The blood was negative for cancer markers," Hadley disagreed.

"The only other possibility is an infection," said Foreman, "but we've already ruled that out, too."

"We're missing something," said House as he retreated in thought. He needed more information before he could come up with a brilliant diagnosis, though. "We'll keep the patient on corticosteroids," he decided, but Foreman interrupted him.

"If it's an infection, those will only make her worse!" he exclaimed.

"Well, at least we'll know what she has then," replied House.

"We could biopsy a kidney," suggested Taub.

Hadley snorted. "It'd be safer to just keep her on the meds and monitor her condition."

"Fine," said Taub, "then we should at least get a CT of her abdomen to look for tumors."

"And we should start her on antibiotics in case there's an infection," added Foreman.

House nodded his approval to run the tests they'd discussed, and right as the team was about to turn around and leave the office, their pagers all went off simultaneously.

House was becoming more curious now. "What happened?"

"She's seizing," said Foreman as he rushed out the door.

Hadley and Taub quickly followed him, leaving House to contemplate not only Wilson and Cuddy's trip to Las Vegas, but also possible ailments that could be killing his patient. Perhaps Cuddy hadn't conned him into a simple case after all, and perhaps she wasn't even trying to con him into a trip. But what else could explain the symptoms? The tests backed up a diagnosis of autoimmune, but the treatment wasn't working. Cuddy and Wilson's suspicious behavior clearly indicated some plot meant to trap him, but why would they have already bought their own tickets but not his? Nothing was as it seemed, and he was determined to uncover the truth before it was too late.


	58. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

The next morning, House stood outside a glass wall, staring into his patient's room. Both Cari and her husband Tom had recently awoken, yet neither person had said a word to the other. It appeared rather odd to him, and he wondered if they were hiding something.

Cameron quietly walked up behind him and rested her eyes on the patient and her husband. She had met them both in the ER after Cari had come in with a suspected heart attack. "How is she?"

"Sick," replied House.

Cameron found his answer funny and obvious, but she did not smile. "I'm assuming you don't know what she has yet."

House shook his head. "We're missing something," he said and paused for a moment. "Does it seem weird to you that these people never talk to each other?"

Cameron furrowed her eyebrows. "They were talking when they came into the ER."

House rolled his eyes. "Well, they're married," he conceded. "They obviously talk to each other, but they don't do it very often."

"You think they're hiding something?"

House shrugged his shoulders.

"They seem happy," noted Cameron. She observed the loving body language between the two people. "You don't have to tell someone that you love them for them to know it. Actions speak louder than words." She knew that House loved her, even though he would never say it out loud. She saw it in his eyes. She felt it in his touch.

"True," agreed House, "but you can't love someone without knowing them, and you can't know someone without talking to them." House considered the notion that perhaps he knew Cameron better than his patient knew her husband of twenty-five years. What did _that_ mean—that his friendship with her was stronger than many marriages, that he loved her more than he cared to admit, or both?

For the first time in the conversation, Cameron moved her eyes from the patient to House. She could see the gears turning in his head, and she wondered what he was thinking about. She hoped that he was thinking about her, but she assumed that he was thinking about his patient. "A good relationship relies on openness and honesty," admitted Cameron, "but just because they're quiet doesn't mean they're lying to each other."

House tilted his head in consideration. "Hiding the truth is the same as lying." Did that mean that he was lying about his feelings for Cameron?

"Maybe they're not hiding anything," offered Cameron. "Maybe they already know what the other is thinking, and words aren't necessary." She didn't need to hear House confess his love because she could read his mind. For years she had been in his head, and he had been in hers.

House couldn't think of a good retort, so he nodded his head in agreement. "Sounds boring," he commented. He would certainly never want to be in a marriage where he knew so much about his wife that there was little room to explore or learn. Perhaps that was why he loved Cameron so much. There was an element of mystery to her, and even as she revealed more and more about herself to him, there was still something hidden. He knew enough about her to know that he loved her, but there were plenty of things left to be discovered. She was, in a word, fascinating.

"My shift starts in five minutes," said Cameron. "Wanna grab lunch later?"

House nodded his head and walked away in the direction of his office while Cameron walked toward the elevators. As House passed the door to Wilson's office, though, a thought suddenly occurred to him. He was hiding his feelings for Cameron, and the patient was hiding her feelings for her husband. Wilson was hiding something as well, and House had a feeling that it was about something similar. He'd come to accept the fact that Wilson loved Cuddy, and it was that notion that told him precisely why he'd been invited to Las Vegas. He barged into Wilson's office to test his theory.

"You invited me to Las Vegas for a wedding," stated House proudly. His last guess about the conference had obviously been wrong, but surely he was correct this time. After all, what else could it be?

"What?" Wilson asked. Unlike Cuddy, though, he seemed more surprised than confused.

Seeing Wilson's reaction, House felt more confident that his speculations were, in fact, true. "You're getting married."

Upon hearing this statement, Wilson loosened up and chuckled. "I'm not getting married," he declared. He shook his head and returned to his paperwork.

House wasn't convinced yet. "What else would you two be doing in Vegas?"

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Cuddy and I are not getting married," he said. "We're not even engaged."

"Right," retorted House. "You'll marry any girl you fall in love with _besides_ Cuddy?"

"I didn't say I wouldn't marry Cuddy eventually," replied Wilson. "I just said that we're not getting married in two weeks." Seeing House's skeptical glare, though, he offered more evidence. "Why would I hide a wedding from you?"

House shrugged. "Maybe you wanted it to be a surprise," he said. "Maybe you figured that if I didn't know about the wedding, I wouldn't have time to throw a bachelor party."

Wilson smirked at House's logic. If he ever _did_ marry Cuddy, avoiding House's bachelor party would be on the top of his to-do list, despite the fun he always had at them. "We would have invited Cameron, Chase, and Foreman," he claimed.

"Aha!" said House, pointing his finger at Wilson. "Cuddy already _did_ invite Cameron to go to Las Vegas."

Wilson was confused. "She did?"

"She invited her to a conference months ago," said House. He left out the fact that Cuddy had also suggested that he take Cameron with him on the trip.

Wilson rolled his eyes. "We're going to Vegas for a vacation, not a conference," he said. "Besides, we would have invited Chase and Foreman, too."

House rolled his eyes. "Why?" he asked. "What would be the fun in that?"

Wilson smirked. "Cuddy and I are not getting married anytime soon," he insisted. "I promise you that." He sighed. "Are you going to go or not? You know, the longer you wait to book everything, the more it costs."

"You've got money," House joked.

Wilson glared at House, clearly expecting an answer.

House knew that his friend was telling the truth about the wedding they apparently weren't having. He was curious, so what choice did he have? "Fine," he reluctantly agreed.

Wilson nodded and appeared very satisfied with this answer, although he was obviously trying to hide it.

House stood up and left the office in defeat with thoughts of the trip still flooding his mind. If they weren't going for a conference, and they weren't going to get married, then why _were_ they going to Las Vegas? Why would they invite him to come along? And most importantly, why had Wilson seemed surprised by his first comment rather than confused? House decided to temporarily push these questions to the back of his mind, though. He needed to run a differential on his patient. So, he entered the diagnostics conference room and opened up the discussion. "What causes pericarditis, fever, kidney failure, and seizure?"

"It could still be cancer," suggested Taub. "An abdominal tumor causes kidney failure and metastasizes to the heart, causing pericarditis. The seizure can be explained by paraneoplastic syndrome."

"No," Hadley disagreed. "That wouldn't make sense chronologically. The chest pain came first."

"So a tumor in the heart metastasized to the abdomen," Taub corrected his previous statement with a roll of the eyes. Did it really matter? The diagnosis was still the same: metastatic cancer.

"That would be very rare," said Foreman. "An infection is way more likely. The steroids are suppressing her immune system, allowing the infection to spread to her heart, kidneys, and brain."

"It would make sense," Hadley agreed, "but her chest pain has actually been subsiding. Maybe she's just getting better on her own."

"A seizure certainly indicates that she's getting better," House stated sarcastically. "Patients who are sick enough to make it to us don't spontaneously get better."

"She has an infection," Foreman repeated. "She needs antibiotics, and he we need to take her off of the steroids before she dies."

"Her white count is normal," Taub fought back. He obviously still thought it was cancer.

"And so were the blood tests for cancer," Foreman retorted.

"Those tests aren't completely conclusive," argued Taub.

"Neither are white blood cell counts," asserted Foreman.

Hadley sighed, figuring this argument was going nowhere. She turned to House. "So what do we do?" she asked.

"Our current treatments obviously aren't working," House decided. "Take her off the prednisone and start her on methotrexate and broad spectrum antibiotics."

The team left to do as they were told, and House was left to contemplate his two puzzles. He had been confused yesterday, but now he was even more perplexed. His wedding idea was much better than the conference idea had been, but apparently it wasn't right either. And now that he'd agreed to go to Las Vegas, there was a chance that no matter what he did, there would be no escaping. And on top of that, his patient's symptoms shouted infection or cancer, but her labs suggested otherwise. He would have to come up with some brilliant ideas soon, or his patient would die, and he'd be trapped in yet another one of Wilson and Cuddy's schemes.


	59. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

House sat behind his desk, pondering the many puzzles that had recently arisen in his life. Wilson and Cuddy were hiding something from him, and he couldn't figure out what it was. He'd already eliminated the obvious choices: a conference and a wedding. What else was there? Were they really just going to Las Vegas for a vacation? Could he possibly be making a big deal out of nothing? Never! Not Gregory House!

And then there was Cameron. She was obviously still in love with him despite their decision to remain friends. As much as he loved her, he couldn't regret that decision. Their friendship had turned into something he couldn't have even dreamed of. He knew that if they'd started some sort of relationship after her marriage, they'd be over by now. They'd probably be ignoring each other out of hatred. He would never let that happen, though. He loved her too much to ever allow their friendship to disintegrate. They both knew how the other felt, but it was for the sake of protecting their relationship that they kept those feelings hidden—well, as hidden as they could manage to keep them, that is.

Like Wilson, Cuddy, and Cameron, his patient was also hiding something. He wasn't sure _what_ she was hiding, though. Cameron had been right in saying that Cari and Tom did, in fact, speak to one another, but they didn't speak very often. Maybe she was right about their marriage as well. Perhaps they truly did love one another, and their silence was simply a sign of comfort. But that didn't explain why they were so quiet in the hospital. After all, patients are rarely comfortable in the hospital.

A thought suddenly occurred to House. There was no way Cari Candide was comfortable in the hospital, yet she wasn't complaining at all. Maybe she was used to hiding her feelings, just as he and Cameron hid their feelings for each other. And maybe her discomfort wasn't the only thing she was hiding. Perhaps she was also hiding pain. What if her joint pain was worse than she let on?

House thought back to Hadley's diagnosis: rheumatoid arthritis. It fit. Of course, it wouldn't have caused kidney failure or a seizure, but those had been caused by something else. She had an infection. So, Foreman had also been correct. House had no doubt that the happy couple would go home later and celebrate the fact that they were both right.

Rheumatoid arthritis and an infection would account for all of the patient's symptoms, but House still had to explain how a person with an autoimmune disorder had also caught such a devastating infection. There was the obvious diagnosis, of course, that the infection triggered the autoimmune response, but as he'd learned from Wilson and Cuddy, the obvious choices weren't always the correct ones. Chronologically, it wouldn't make sense for the infection to come before the autoimmune response considering the history of joint pain and the pericarditis that landed her in the hospital. So, the autoimmune disorder caused the infection, but how? The answer was Felty's Syndrome. It was a rare complication of rheumatoid arthritis. Given the fact that the patient had hidden the severity of her joint pain, House suspected that her rheumatoid arthritis had been left untreated for years.

The tests all confirmed his suspicions. A patient with rheumatoid arthritis would have a positive ANA test, which Cari did. Felty's Syndrome would cause a low white count (making her susceptible to infection), and Cari's white count was normal. However, it was elevated because of her infection, so her normal white count was actually low.

The only other diagnostic criterion for Felty's Syndrome was an enlarged spleen. House ordered his team to go ultrasound her spleen to confirm the diagnosis. When that test came back positive, House told his team to increase her antibiotics and methotrexate and to restart the steroids for the rheumatoid arthritis. She was going to be fine.

That was on mystery down, and one to go. Unfortunately, though, House had no brilliant ideas regarding the trip to Las Vegas. He simply had to hope that whatever was in store for him wouldn't be too terrible.

After her discussion with House, Cameron had become very curious about the trip that Wilson and Cuddy were planning. Hoping that she might be included in their little loop, she sought out Cuddy to ask some questions. She found her in the clinic reading a patient file.

"What's all this I hear about a trip to Las Vegas?" asked Cameron as she leaned against the nurse's station counter.

Cuddy was slightly surprised by Cameron's question but quickly realized that she shouldn't have been. Of course House had told her all about it. In fact, she was probably the one he was using to bounce ideas off of. She thought for a moment about whether or not to tell her the details of their trip. Knowing that Cameron had become as close to House as Wilson was, Cuddy decided that it was only fair. "Can you keep a secret?"

Cameron smirked, and Cuddy took this response as a yes.

Without a word, Cuddy led Cameron into her office. She unlocked her desk drawer and pulled out a small envelope. She handed it to Cameron and waited for her reaction.

Cameron appeared confused at first, but a grin suddenly spread across her face when she realized why Cuddy and Wilson were trying to trick House into going to Las Vegas with them. "Dr. Cuddy," said Cameron with a shrewd smile, "is it too late to register for that immunology conference?"

Cuddy chuckled at Cameron's question and shook her head. "I'll sign you up this afternoon."

"Thank you," replied Cameron in a pseudo-professional tone. "I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to attend such an important _conference_."

The two women exchanged devious smirks as Cameron left the office. For the first time ever, they felt like they were both members in some strange friendship club. Apparently, any person who managed to stay friends with Gregory House for more than a month was allowed in the club. Up until now, Wilson and Cuddy had been the only members, but Cameron was due for her initiation. This trip to Las Vegas would certainly prove the perfect time to do just that.


	60. Chapter 59

Chapter 59

Two weeks later, House found himself in a first class seat on his way to Las Vegas. Wilson was sitting in-between him and Cuddy, who had her daughter snugly wrapped in her arms. Upon seeing Rachel, House was beginning to feel even more uncomfortable about the trip.

"Why'd you bring _her_?" House asked rather rudely.

Cuddy wasn't offended, though; she was used to House acting this way. "She's my daughter," she answered as she moved Rachel to the seat next to her.

"There's not much for a two-year-old to do in Las Vegas," he noted.

"She's one and a half," replied Cuddy.

House rolled his eyes. "Well, until she's twenty-one, there's nothing for her to do there."

"We already told you," Wilson interrupted. "We're not just going there to gamble and drink."

"What else are you supposed to do there?" asked House incredulously. He honestly didn't know.

"We want to see some shows," answered Wilson.

House rolled his eyes again. Wilson, Cuddy, and Rachel could see all the shows they wanted to. Meanwhile, he would be making his way through all of the bars and casinos the city had to offer.

Their plane hadn't even landed, and already House knew that his trip wasn't going to go as planned. He'd been hoping for a fun weekend of poker and liquor, but that weekend had disappeared the second he'd laid eyes upon Rachel. Wilson and Cuddy definitely had an ulterior motive for wanting to take him to Las Vegas, and he was beginning to worry about what that motive might be.

Once their airplane finally landed, the three doctors and baby Rachel all made their way down the airport corridors. They'd carried their luggage on the plane and thankfully didn't have to stop in Baggage Claim.

"I've got a ride waiting for us," said Cuddy as they walked outside and passed several taxi cabs. She was about to scan the streets for any sign of their car, but one quickly pulled up in front of them.

House eyed the car suspiciously. It was neither a taxi nor a limousine. It looked like a rental car. Who would be picking them up in a rental car? His unasked question was answered, though, when Allison Cameron stepped out of the driver's side and made her way around the car to help Wilson load the bags into the trunk. House was completely shocked to see her here. Why hadn't she told him that she would be joining them in Las Vegas, and why had she arrived before them? "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Immunology conference," she answered with a seductive, yet somehow innocent, smile. "It started two days ago."

House narrowed his eyes at her. "You said you weren't attending the conference."

Cameron shrugged. "I changed my plans," she said and returned to the driver's seat.

House was rather confused now. Were Cuddy and Wilson planning to make him attend the conference? No, that couldn't be it. But then why was Cameron here as well? Maybe Wilson had lied about the surprise wedding. Somehow he doubted it, though. He sighed and decided that for once in his life he would just enjoy the ride and hope for the best.

Cameron parked the car in the lot of a large hotel. Everyone got out and grabbed their bags before entering the hotel lobby.

Cameron waited patiently while Wilson checked himself, Cuddy, and House into their rooms.

"Meet you in the lobby in an hour?" Cameron asked Wilson and Cuddy once they were done checking in.

They both nodded. "Yeah," said Cuddy. "That should give us enough time to change."

"We don't have to be there until eight," added Wilson. "I think we'll be alright."

House was very intrigued now. Change for what? Be where at eight? Why was everyone aware of these plans besides him?

Seeing House's confused expression, Cuddy said, "We're seeing a show tonight."

House rolled his eyes. "No," he responded, "_you're_ seeing a show tonight. I'm checking out the blackjack tables."

"We already bought your ticket," stated Wilson, pretending to be shocked that House wouldn't want to accompany his three best friends to a show.

"Well, that was your fault," retorted House. "You knew I wouldn't want to go, yet you bought the ticket anyways." He shrugged as if there was nothing he could do to help it.

Wilson rolled his eyes and turned to Cameron. "Make sure he's down here in an hour," he said as he followed Cuddy into an elevator.

House and Cameron waited for the next elevator, though.

"What a shame," said House sarcastically. "I didn't even bring any show-worthy attire."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I stopped at your place and grabbed some," Cameron replied with a smirk.

House's smug grin gave way to a shocked expression. "You broke into my place?"

The elevator doors opened, and they entered the lift together.

"Oh, don't act so surprised," said Cameron with a smug grin of her own. After all, she'd used his spare key several times before.

Cameron made a quick stop in her room to grab House's clothes from her bag before finally meeting him in his own room. His door was unlocked, so she walked in to find him pulling his shirt off. Cameron wasn't sure whether she should turn around, leave the room, or remain where she was. House didn't seem bothered by her presence, so she stood still and watched him extend his hand toward her. She handed him a white collared shirt, which he quickly started buttoning up. He then pulled down his pants, and Cameron handed him the black slacks that she'd brought him. House took a seat on the bed and started putting on a pair of socks, and Cameron laid House's black jacket on the bed next to him. "I need to go change," she told him. She gave him a smile and quickly turned around, trying to hide the redness in her face. She hadn't been embarrassed by the situation, but the heat in her body was beginning to overwhelm her.

Once back in her own room, Cameron shut the door behind her and took a deep breath to calm herself. She wondered how she was going to be able to look at House all night without becoming so excited. Thinking that it was best to just remove the thought from her mind, she opened her bag and pulled out a sleeveless, metallic green evening gown. It was a simple yet elegant dress that hugged her bodice nicely and dropped loosely from her hips to the middle of her calves. She slipped it on and completed the ensemble with black stiletto heels. She walked into the bathroom to fix her hair, letting it loosely fall over her bare shoulders. Cameron took yet another deep breath and decided that it was finally time to retrieve House from his room.

When she arrived in his room, she found him sitting on the edge of the bed, flipping through the channels on the television. She smiled lightly before walking further into the room and taking a seat next to him on the bed. She felt House's eyes following her every move. He appeared transfixed by her, and she was thrilled to have such an effect on him.

House examined Cameron closely. She was simply stunning. Her emerald dress hugged her in all the right places and made her pale green eyes sparkle even more than usual. He lost himself in her hypnotizing eyes, and before he knew what was going on, he felt his lips resting gently on hers.

Cameron had leaned forward to kiss House, and she closed her eyes immediately after she saw his eyes shut. She wrapped her left arm behind his head and moved her fingers through his hair. It felt so soft and pleasing to touch. She parted her lips and felt his tongue enter her mouth—an even more pleasing sensation. She would give anything to make this moment last forever, but she knew that they wouldn't be able to continue for long without doing something stupid and regrettable. Besides, they would be late if they didn't hurry. She gently pulled her lips from his and spoke. "We have to go," she whispered, her eyes still closed.

House opened his eyes to see the calm expression on Cameron's face. She looked so peaceful, and he wanted nothing more than to stay with her, lost in the moment, but he knew that he couldn't. He nodded his head once and stood up from the bed.

Cameron also rose from the bed. She followed House out of the room and locked the door behind her, wondering if maybe this wouldn't be the last time she'd see his room.

They both regained their composure in the elevator and brought their minds back to reality. By the time they met Wilson and Cuddy in the lobby, they were back to their old selves.

"Ready to go?" asked Cameron with a beam. Nobody would ever be able to guess what had just happened in House's room.

Wilson and Cuddy both nodded. They were apparently surprised to see House wearing such formal attire. They assumed that it had been Cameron's doing, though.

Cuddy strapped Rachel into her car seat while everybody else sat down and buckled their seatbelts. Once Cuddy was ready, though, Cameron started the car and left the parking lot.

House stared out the window of the car. Many thoughts were swimming through his mind, and he wasn't sure which one took precedence. He wanted to spend the car ride pondering possible reasons for Wilson and Cuddy to drag him to a show, but he couldn't get the kiss he'd just shared with Cameron out of his head. It had been so perfect in so many ways that he couldn't even describe it. As much as he loved his friendship with Cameron, he wondered if he was missing out on something extraordinary. Before he could come to any real conclusion, though, the car stopped, and everyone got out. House stepped out of the car and took in the sight before him. Shimmering neon lights filled the nighttime sky, illuminating a grand and elegant building in front of him. It was the Bellagio Wedding Chapel. What were they doing here? He had been convinced that Wilson and Cuddy weren't getting married, but who else could it be?

Then it hit him. It was his mother. He silently cursed to himself. Wilson had been taunting him for months, apparently convinced that they would be attending the wedding. House had never believed him, but here they were in Las Vegas about to witness the marriage of his mother. House couldn't believe that Wilson had slipped this by him. How had he missed it? Surely he should have been on the lookout for such a scheme after receiving the wedding invitation, but he hadn't been, and why not? Maybe he had been trying so hard to avoid all thought of his family—of love, happiness, and marriage—that he had actually forgotten all about it.

And as it turned out, House's avoidance of love had only landed him right in the middle of it. He stared down at the gorgeous blonde by his side. House could no longer convince himself that he didn't love Cameron because he knew deep down that she meant more to him than anything else in the world. He knew that she felt the same way, so what was stopping him? He wasn't afraid of loving her, but rather of losing her. He was already in love, and he could no longer deny it. He only hoped that one day he would find the courage to take that step forward, to admit his feelings for her. He knew, though, that until that day came, she would be waiting happily at his side.

Cameron watched as realization hit House. He seemed shocked and angry and confused all at once. As much fun as she'd had conspiring against him, she felt that now was the time for her to comfort him. She knew that he didn't want to be here at his mother's wedding, yet he'd been forced to come. She wrapped her arm around his and looked into his eyes. "Ready to go?" she asked.

House rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed that his three friends had done this to him. He knew that he shouldn't be surprised, though. They did these things to him all the time. At least this time he wasn't alone. Cameron was at his side, ready to accompany him into the chapel. He sighed in annoyance and responded to Cameron's question with a nod.

Cameron could tell that House was upset by the situation, but she would do everything in her power to make the night go smoothly. "Good," she said, and the group started walking toward the front doors of the building. It was a happy occasion, but the funeral of her younger sister suddenly popped into Cameron's head. She frowned as she wondered why her mind would bring up such dismal thoughts right before a wedding, but she suddenly understood. She remembered House showing up at the church to stand beside her, to show her that he was there for her. And now, she was doing the same for him. She was walking into a church with him, and she would stand beside him to show him how much she cared. They weren't even a couple, yet Cameron knew that the bond she shared with House was unbreakable, and it was that thought that would get them both through the night.


	61. Chapter 60

Chapter 60

The wedding chapel was golden and luxurious. White flowers adorned the pews and the altar, and a white rug ran down the aisle. It was simple, yet also so very elegant.

Cameron, House, Wilson, Cuddy, and Rachel all took seats near the back. Typically, the son of the bride would sit near the front, but House wanted to hide from the crowd as much as possible. It wasn't necessarily the thought of seeing his mother again that upset him, but rather of seeing the people who had defined his childhood. There were several family members in attendance, but also several marines who had likely worked with his father and befriended his mother. If there was one place he never wanted to return to, it was his childhood. Yet here he was, as he had been at his father's funeral, caught in the midst of it all and praying for some miracle to help him escape. He knew that no such miracle would arrive, though, unless he counted Cameron, of course. He couldn't believe that she would fly all the way to Las Vegas and put herself through a miserable conference just so she could stand by him at his mother's wedding. It was certainly more of an effort than he'd put forth when showing up at her sister's funeral, but he knew that if necessary, he would have done the same for her. After all, he loved her.

Sure, they weren't a couple now, but there was nothing saying they wouldn't become one in the future. Their perfect bond lie somewhere in-between friendship and relationship, and although slightly unorthodox, he wouldn't change it for the world—at least not yet. After kissing Cameron in the hotel, House was beginning to wonder what sort of things he was missing out on. Perhaps he wasn't ready for a romantic relationship quite yet, but he hoped that soon he would be. And when he was, Cameron would be there.

Cameron observed the man standing at the altar before leaning into House and whispering, "He looks like Sean Connery."

House smirked as he remembered Wilson saying the same thing at his father's funeral. Perhaps this night wouldn't be so bad after all.

Cameron sat back in her seat, almost leaning up against House's shoulder because of the tight spacing. She knew he wouldn't mind, though. She took a calming deep breath as she marveled at her luxurious surroundings. It was like living in a dream, but then again, wasn't that what a wedding was supposed to feel like? She wondered if she would ever have another wedding of her own. After her father's leaving, Cameron had always dreamed of having the perfect family, but look where that had gotten her. She'd watched her first husband die and had divorced her second husband.

The effects of dreams amazed Cameron. However frightening, they could bring people to notice what their eyes couldn't see. House's nightmares and hallucinogenic visions had scared him until he'd finally understood their significance. Although his dreams had been terrible, they had helped him to realize his true dream of not being alone. Unfortunately, though, some dreams could prove more dangerous than productive. Cameron's dream of the ideal family had resulted in both death and divorce. Jenny had died trying to transform herself into a prima ballerina, and Natalie had almost done the same. And other times, dreams are simply taken away by an outside force. Cameron had wanted a happy family but couldn't stop her father or Chase from leaving. Andy had never gotten the chance to share a love with Jenny because of her death.

Cameron supposed that the only thing we, as people, could do was to keep dreaming. We could only wish for the best and hope that our dreams didn't lead us down a dark path. We simply had to acknowledge the fact that maybe the one thing we dream about isn't what's best for us. Perhaps it is something else that we truly need. And we can only hope that we realize that reality in time. This thought made Cameron consider her brother Sam and his wife Jackie. They had always wanted a child of their own, but they'd failed to conceive. So, they had adopted baby Noah. He had been a completely unexpected, yet entirely welcome, gift. And thinking of her brother's happy family made her think of the family she'd always dreamed of.

Cameron realized that she never really wanted a happy family. She didn't want a husband or children. Like House, she simply didn't want to be alone anymore. And thanks to him, she wasn't. In fact, she wasn't even in a relationship, yet she felt less lonely now than she had in years. She had been looking for a family, but instead she'd found a friend.

That was one of life's pleasant surprises. You could wander through the world hoping for one thing but then receive something even better. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you can get what you need—something completely unexpected and beyond your wildest dreams.

Chase had wanted to spend the rest of his life with Cameron, but their marriage had failed. And as a result, he'd learned that it's just as important to find someone who loves you in return as it is to love another person. He'd wanted Cameron but had found Natalie, who cared for him as much as he cared for her.

At first Cuddy had wanted a relationship with House, but then she'd found Wilson. And now, she had the family that she never thought she could have had.

Wilson had gone through three failed marriages without ever having children, and up until recently, he'd been satisfied with not being a father. Unlike wives, children were real commitments he couldn't simply divorce. Yet now, here he was as a surrogate father for Cuddy's daughter Rachel. He never could have seen it coming, yet he wouldn't give it up for the world.

Because of his mental illness, House had realized that he couldn't stand being alone anymore. He had failed to ever enter another relationship after leaving the psychiatric hospital, but there was still hope for the future. He had gained a new friend in Cameron, and he couldn't imagine a happier ending for himself.

Once the wedding ceremony was over, everyone watched Blythe and her new husband make their way down the aisle. The guests began following the newlyweds out of the chapel, starting with the first row. House and his friends would have to wait several minutes before their row could exit.

Cameron leaned into House's side once more. "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

House smirked. Perhaps she was right. Maybe that thing he had feared and dreaded for months had actually ended happily. He wondered if the same could be said of a relationship with Cameron. He didn't want to lose her, but maybe he never would. Sure, everything ended sadly eventually, but maybe the truly sad ending would be going through life never being with Cameron. He smiled at this thought and wondered if maybe they would be together sooner than he'd originally planned. "Aren't you supposed to serve food at weddings?" he joked, obviously knowing that food would be served at the reception.

Cameron giggled. "That's at the reception."

House rolled his eyes. "We have to go to a reception, too?"

Wilson, Cuddy, and Cameron all exchanged curious glances. They'd been prepared for House to storm out of the chapel immediately after (or during) the wedding, completely refusing to go to the reception. Was this his way of saying he actually wanted to go?

"Yes," answered Wilson, pretending to force his friend into yet another event. He knew House secretly wanted to go, though, just like he secretly wanted to be with Cameron.

It was finally time for their row to exit, and they all stood up. They followed the other guests out of the chapel and down the hall into a ballroom for the reception.

As the inviting aroma of roast beef filled the air, House smiled. Maybe there were such things as happy endings after all.

**The End**

Author's Note: So, that's it! I'm very curious to hear what everybody has to say about this ending and the story as a whole. So, please, please, please leave me a final comment to let me know what you thought! Thank you so much for reading this story, and I hope that everyone has enjoyed it.  - Liz


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